Obesity
| “ | One more thing, I AM NOT OVERWEIGHT!!!!!!!!! | ” |
| Chris, lying to White Knight | ||
| “ | I do not feel good hearing remarks or comments that have relation to my gut. | ” |
| Chris to Jackie[1] | ||
Obesity is perceived to be a worldwide epidemic, especially in the USA, with about 65% of adults overweight and 26% obese. This is especially apparent in the Chandler home, in which 100% of its residents are fucking fat: Chris, Barbara, Bob and even their cat, Desi.
Chris seems to be in denial about his own obesity. His denial is evidenced by the fact that he portrays himself as a slim, barrel-chested hero in his comics and in Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE, when he describes himself as "fit as a fiddle." Futhermore, in his numerous dating profiles to discovered by the trolls, he often lists himself as having an "athletic build" or at the very least having weight that is proportionate to his height.
Another example of this was when he created a character for his comics named Sammy, whom Chris stated is based off him when he "temporary gained weight, Became stupid, and went to watch television at ghost command," even though he has always been this way. Except, y'know, for the Ghost Command part. But that's a whole other problem.
Exercise
Chris believes that exercise involves standing up without moving, and thus considers playing Guitar Hero a workout. During one of his PSN chats with Julie, when asked to exercise more, he replied, "I'll stand up more". It is not known how Chris came to believe that standing up is exercise, but it is most likely that Chris is simply extremely lazy and will lie to say that he works out every day, even though he just plays vidya. It's possible he's picked it up from health tips that say standing burns more calories than sitting down,[2][3] but rather than use such tips to get the most out of an already busy lifestyle, he substitutes it for actual exercise altogether. It's also entirely possible he's in such terrible shape that the simple act of standing tires him as much as an actual workout would tire a normal human being.
Emily has said Chris power-walks around his neighborhood for thirty minutes and claims it's two miles (3 km), then claims to jog for two or three minutes every walk. She then went on to say Chris doesn't know how to jog — he thinks you either walk or run full tilt. It's safe to say he tries to run at "Sonic speed" for ten seconds, then resumes his leisurely waddle. This theory is confirmed in Sonichu's Edge.
In Mailbag 21, Chris claimed that he planned on investing in a gym membership. Judging by photographs and videos from subsequent months, either he lied or he wasted his money.
Actual weight
In an IRC fan chat, when asked how much he weighed, Chris replied "about 200 [pounds]" (91 kg). During his phone call with Kacey and Liquid Chris, he angrily denied the suggestion that he weighed as much as 220 lbs (100 kg), claiming he weighed "a lot less." One possible explanation is that Chris doesn't know his actual weight. It's anyone's guess as to when he last stepped on a scale. And considering how much fast food he consumes, it is safe to assume he gains a significant amount of weight each year. One might guess he may not have weighed himself since high school (this is a complete guess, based on nothing), in which case, assuming he has bulked up a good amount since then, he would believe he weighs approximately 200 lbs, either being too mentally crippled by autism or being too mentally crippled by his ego to notice how much fatter he has gotten. The only other explanation is that Chris has little to no muscle mass, with a body that is mostly fat (which, considering his lifestyle, is not unlikely). Considering muscle is denser than fat, it would be possible for Chris to weigh as little as 200 lbs. Even if he did weigh 200 lbs, though, his BMI would be 28.7, which is overweight.
Taking Chris's height into consideration (5'10"; 1.78 m), along with the nude pictures circulating the Internet, a better estimation would be in the mid 200s, closing in on 300 lbs (136 kg) thanks to his constant consumption of McNuggets and corn syrup. A healthy weight for someone Chris's height would be somewhere around 160 (73kg) to 175 lbs (79 kg), but he's not likely to get that low ever again without the aid of gastric bypass surgery or the amputation of multiple limbs.
Chris has probably asked his Mom about being fat. Being the coddling cow that she is, she more than likely told him he was a slim and attractive young man (which he is... compared to her).
In a recent video, Chris claims that he weighs 216 lbs (97kg). This seems very unrealistic, given his current girth and food consumption. Most experts believe that Chris either offset his scale by 40 or 50 pounds, or that he's not fully standing on the scale in order to fool people into believing he's not extremely fat. It is also possible that Chris's years of inactivity have caused his muscles to deteriorate to the point of him looking like he weighs more than 250 pounds, when he really is just 216 pounds of pure fat.
Denial
Chris has always been in denial about his weight. A white knight once told him that he needed to lose some weight if he ever wanted to get a girlfriend. Chris responded by freaking out and exclaiming that he wasn't fat. In IRC, Chris has been known to become very defensive about his weight, always making claims that he works out, when in fact he just stands up while playing Guitar Hero. Chris's reaction to being called fat is precisely the same as his reaction to being called gay. Unfortunately for Chris, there isn't a poster that will help him lose weight. He simply screams that he isn't fat, then oftentimes lies, and calls the person accusing him fat. He exhibited this behavior during an email with Evan,[citation needed] during his phone call with Kacey's father, and especially in his conversation with Kacey and Liquid Chris, where insults about his weight triggered a screaming rage.
However, during his original rivalry with Liquid Chris, Chris once finally admitted he was perhaps maybe just a little bit fat, but only because he could use this as proof that he was the real Christian Weston Chandler. A similar problem arose during the Asperchu saga, where Chris, in an attempt to prove that Asperchu was a parody of himself, was forced to admit that Asperchu's "Buddha belly" and "man boobs" are similar to his own. More specifically, he acts as though he used to have a sagging gut, even though he has, in fact, porked up significantly since high school. He chose to focus on this aspect of Asperchu rather than admit his more embarrassing failures the series parodies. He did once admit in a phone call with Jack Thaddeus that he was not fit.
The fact is, Chris has been spoiled so much by his mother, told that he was perfect and muscular so much, that he believes that when he looks in a mirror, he sees a six-pack, whereas what the rest of us see is a fat autistic manchild.
There is also convincing evidence that Chris has difficulty recognizing the human figure — faces in particular. His consistent representation of himself as slender and athletic may be attributable to his having formed his self-image during high school, when he would spend hours studying his then-scrawnier self in the mirror, memorizing his looks.[4] Furthermore, Blanca was able to use pictures of different girls with only basic features in common (e.g., hair color and length) to trick Chris into thinking "she" was the same girl.
I mean, just look at him.
In For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV, Chris is seen wearing a sports bra and admitting he has manboobs. Obesity causes the release of even more estrogen. Ergo, a perfect recipe for gynecomastia. Chris's face is fat. When he moves up and down the whole front of his body bounces in unison. It's increasingly difficult to know where his face turns into his neck and his neck into his shoulders. When he flexes—if he flexes—there's no way to tell.
Places where Chris likes to eat
Awards
| “ | "Flattish, but exceptionally wide manboobs from CWC here. We loved the "home-cut" hair and clown necklace accessory too." | ” |
| manboobs.co.uk | ||
On October 2nd, Chris's voluptuous manboobs won an award on manboobs.co.uk.
Sauces
- ↑ Jackie Chat 6
- ↑ http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/8-ways-to-burn-calories-without-noticing/article16261.html Reader's Digest. See tip #3
- ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/office-exercise/SM00115 Mayo Clinic. See tip #2
- ↑ Sonichu #7 - "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."