Chris's birthday
| “ | Today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!" | ” |
| Chris, on being nearly 30 | ||
Chris's birthday, 24 February, is a significant date in his life, for obvious reasons. However, the bizarre inconsistency of how he celebrates (from some new vidya, to wanting his birthday to be a national holiday) warrants some inspection.
Notable birthdays
18th
While most people would've celebrated by partying hard, doing something special, or just acknowledging that they have grown into legal adults, Chris got a Sega Dreamcast. While he did have something of a party, it was very much the kind thrown for small children— comprised of thrown-together decor, last-minute gifts, and some platonic gal-pals as guests. No alcohol, no tobacky, just Kenan & Kel and cake. Interestingly, this was allegedly Chris's best birthday ever. The great importance of this event apparently warranted recording as a story, "My big 18th party".
21st
If the above birthday was Chris's best, then this is probably his worst. No friends, no new video games, and no sweetheart. The only thing Chris got was kicked out of his college English class by his professor. Chris first alleged his professor just didn't understand autism, but later confided in Sarah that he was dismissed for hating on da homos. All wasn't lost, however, as this event was the catalyst that began the Love Quest— Chris's enduring search for someone that will put up with his crying and pamper him for eternity
23rd
Chris documented this birthday in an issue of Sonichu's News Dash. It took place at the mall and was attended by his parents, as well as "a couple of his new-found gal-pals, who all already have Boyfriends, or are otherwise undatable, due to her religion". He was treated like a child and loved every second of it.
25th
To celebrate this milestone, Chris recorded an IMPORTANT MESSAGE, inspiring girls, boys and dudes of all teenages with the many lessons he has learned from his quarter-century of experience.
27th
Chris's 27th birthday coincided with the burial of his late Aunt Corrina. Undoubtedly, this cast a shadow on the festivities. In true Chris fashion, he bitched and complained about not being able to stuff his greedy gullet full of pancakes, instead of mourning the loss of his aunt. He would later go on to complain in a mumble chat about how Aunt Corrina ruined his special day by selfishly dying. He also received some birthday money, which he used to fund his road trip to Ohio.
28th
Chris's 28th birthday is shrouded in mystery. Other than his obsessive desire to see his birthday made a holiday, next to nothing is known about how it was spent. What we do know is that he ingested a mysterious substance and was visited by another male guest. Alec Benson Leary also called in and congratulated him, all around nice guy that he is. Chris had been saving $100 to pay for a prostitute as a birthday present for himself, but he ultimately abandoned that idea after The Wallflower became his friend and he assumed he would be allowed to have sex with her for free.
- Sonichu canon: Coincidentally (or not), the homo vaccine in Sonichu #10 is distributed into the world's water supply on this day.
Birthday Gallery: Witness the Evolution
Age 5: Cute kid, right?
Age 14
Age 17
Age 18
Age 19
Age 20
Age 21
Age 22
Age 23
Age 24
Age 25
Age 26: Cute kid, right?
"Christian Love Day"
Many people see their birthday as a day of personal relevance. Chris, on the other hand, thinks everyone across the globe should be focused on him too. First seen in the CWC Blog, "Christian Love Day" is apparently a second Valentine's Day, but celebrated exclusively by STRAIGHT folk. In the Mailbag, he clarified he 'feels like' it should be a nationally recognized holiday, merely because he wills it and it's also Mexican Flag Day. However, Chris provides no details on how to celebrate, nor does he put any effort into garnering publicity beyond one lone video.
In Sonichu, the holiday gains slightly more credence, along with some disturbing moral stipulations. It is on this day that the homo vaccine "cures" the homosexual population of the Earth, driving the Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor up to critical levels. It seems to be that this fictional event is the real reason Chris wants to commemorate his birthday as a holiday (well, that and ego). Chris either thinks his comic is so widely known that the date of its denouement would be nationally recognized, or he has a skewed perception of the lines between fiction and reality.
24 February is also...
- Armenia's Genocide Remembrance Day.
- The day the Nazi party was founded (1920).
- The day U.S. military fought a UFO over Los Angeles (1942).
- The day Egyptian Premier Ahmed Maher Pasha was killed in Parliament after reading a decree (1945).
- The day Ayatollah Khomeini issued a fatwa for the death of Salman Rushdie (1989).
Other people born on 24 February include...
- George Harrison (1943)
- Steve Jobs (1955)
- Chad Hugo (1974)
- Floyd Mayweather, Jr. (1977)