So Need a Cute Girl
So Need a Cute Girl is the first track off Christian and the Hedgehog Boys.
Listen
Lyrics
[sung over The Backstreet Boys' "I Want It That Way"]
Hey! Look at me!
I'm sitting here sad and lonely!
Without a fire,
But a desire
To not hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"
And I see the ladies walking
Along one by one,
And I never wanna hear,
"I have a boyfriend!"
Tell me why
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage!
Tell me why
I so need a cute girl my age!
Tell me why
I ain’t never wanna hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"
And I have no fire,
But a desire
To not hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"
Tell me why
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage!
(Tell me why)
I so need a cute girl my age!
(Tell me why)
I ain't never wanna hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"
Why do all of the jerks
Get all of the pretty girls? (Yeah!)
You may not notice,
But I want you to know
That I am a lonesome heart!
And I have no fire,
But a desire
To not, to not, to not
Heeeaaar…
Stuck as a virgin with rage!
So need a cute girl my age!
I never wanna hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"
Tell me why
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage!
(Tell me why)
I so need a cute girl my age!
I ain’t never wanna hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"
Tell me why
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage!
I so need a cute girl my age!
I ain’t never wanna hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"
Never say it, now!
Music Video
Filmed in December 2004 to promote Christian's Love Quest. Don't miss the rare B-side track, "All I Want For Christmas is a Pretty Girlfriend"
Introductory Notes
Hello. My name is, uh, Christian Chandler, age 22 at this time. I'll be 23 on February 24th, 2005. [clears throat] Eh, anyway, uh, for over a year now, I've, uh, been trying to attract an 18-to-22-year-old boyfriend-free girl, agèd 21 before February 24, 2004, which is this year. Anyhoo, been tryin' for over a year to attract a girl - boyfriend-free girl - and I have failed. And, you know, when you got- when you have so much- so many failures at this time, you can't help but feel sad, you know? And depressed? And here it is, about Christmastime, and, well, all I want for Christmas is a boyfriend-free girl. And a'course, uh, during the time, I have, uh, been a-trying, I been [??] few songs, about my, uh, Love Quest. And so, for now, for now I'd like to sing to you my, uh, two a'-two a'my songs. [clears throat and stands up] First one I sing is one I've made up first, wri'en my own lyrics to a tune, a tune to the song. By the way, [points to Sonichu medallion around neck] this here is Sonichu. You can look him up on the web. [???] put in S-O-N-I-C-H-U as your web search term. Anyway, here's my first song, called "So Need A Cute Girl."
Live Performance
On 12 July 2009, one of Chris's "friends" uploaded Christian and the Hedgehog Boys giving their first public performance (sans the Hedgehog Boys, though Chris probably imagined they were there in his head) with their song "So Need a Cute Girl." Perhaps in an attempt to come off as less creepy, Chris opts to use the "sad, lonely cage" lyrics instead of the "virgin with rage" one. Although his performance is predictably sleep-inducing for the most part, Chris's added "flourish" at the very end of the video makes for an unforgettable couple of seconds.
Transcript
(Fervently grabs crotch at the end) LADIES, ALL HANDS ON ME. (There are no takers, just laughter)
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