Ivy

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This is what Chris-Chan actually believed.

Ivy O'Neil (also Ivy O' Niel[sic] or Ivy O'Nial (sic)) (born 17 March 1992) was Chris's sweetheart from 25 March 2009 to the first half of May 2009.

The Ivy saga resulted in three Sonichu Specials, four music videos, a bunch of weird and creepy non-music videos (including conclusive proof Chris drinks his own semen), a long awaited tour of his house, a new Christian and the Hedgehog Boys album, procuring The Lost Video, the emergence of Joshua Martinez and Rocky Shoemaker as troll obstacles, images of the new Medallion of Fail while he's wearing butt garments, and unexpected changes in Chris's behavior. Despite this, people bitch (notably Krapplefags) Ivy failed and did nothing.

Due to the increase in absurdity of Chris's behavior in this period, there are many fags who thought, and still think, that Ivy is a figment of Chris's imagination.

Origins

Image first posted on /cwc/.

In Captain's Log, Stardate March 18th, 2009, Chris gave a shout out to "Avi" and her friend Rachel. These were originally assumed to be code names for Emily and her friend Stephanie to protect their identities. The next day, Chris edited the video to blows kisses to "Avi".

The video CWC's Message for Ivy on 20 March confirmed that Chris was actually saying "Ivy" and that he had already moved onto a new girl the same day he was tricked by the Man in the Pickle Suit. This video was deleted and so some people did not know about it until 4 days later.

On 21 March, Ivy was introduced on /cwc/.

Character

Ivy is frequently seen with her sidekick Luckett.

Ivy has crabs. Her pet hermit crabs are named Crass and Champ.

Ivy is a redhead. Chris lowered his standards slightly more by allowing her to become a sweetheart (previously, they were excluded along with blacks and non-boyfriend-free girls).

Honeymoon

On 27 April 2009, a comic featuring what Chris thinks would be his perfect honeymoon was leaked.

In this comic, Chris starts out by presenting himself to Ivy's father, a True and Honest police officer dressed in blue with a real metallic badge. They later go to a "Double-CWC" hotel presumably in CWCville, basically a rip-off of the real Double Tree luxury hotels. They both enter a room with as much as 5 Glade lavender air fresheners, presumably to mask the stench of his uncontrollable bowels, all filled with hearts made of rose petals. Once they get there, they start having sex.

During the sex scene, Chris first starts out by pulling off his tuxedo and his dress pants, revealing his trademark striped shirt and medallion. Then he pulls out his LUDICROUSLY ENORMOUS duck, as in the size of a human leg -- which mysteriously happens to shrink later to a normal size in order to fit in Ivy's pussy -- and then, they both transform into their fursonas: Ivy into a non-descript Rosechu, and Chris into Chris-chan Sonichu. Once they're done, they both raise their heads in awe and say "THANK YOU, GOD!".

Afterwards, Chris and Ivy are shown having what Chris thinks of as a fancy dinner: grilled chicken, vegetables, mashed potatoes, and CWC Orange Soda served in wine glasses.

Explanations for why did he considered such a cheap-ass honeymoon are varied. Some people believe it's due to Chris's good ol' narcissism. Others believe this is because Chris was raised in such a dirty and sloppy household, that stuff we would consider mundane are very luxurious to him. Others, meanwhile, believe this is because Chris, being the deranged, socially inept manchild that he is, has never been or was never taken to a fancy restaurant.

Break-Up

One of Ivy's main goals was to get Chris to continue working on his comic. However, Chris didn't want to finish it because Rocky was tipped off and so Chris feared she would break up with him. [citation needed]

Ivy had been planning to break up with Chris for a while, but due to Joshua Martinez's involvement with Vanessa Hudgens forced her to postpone. When suspected that Josh was trolling Chris for cash instead of the lulz, Ivy and her friend told Chris to cancel the check for a "special" PSP from "Vanessa." The attempt to help Chris backfire, as Chris thought he would be clever if he gave Josh a check he knew was bad, and then keep the PSP, insisting that "Vanessa" would be "upset" if he gave it back to Josh. On top of that, Ivy discovered that Chris had been stealing money from his parents for his PSN.

The $30 check cancellation fee upset Chris's parents so much, they went to the police. Rocky decided to mention the trolls and had the police do a background check on Ivy.

She decided to break up with Chris and hung up on him during a phone call. She told Bob they were just friends and that Chris has been harassing her with over 500 phone calls. Bob probably didn't relay the message to Chris and so Chris probably still thinks it's okay to call girls over 20 times a day.[1]

On the night of 14 May, the following was written on Chris's ED talk page:

“ I have learned that there was a connection between her and a state in Washington where some of you have been lurking, and that she was not found in any public records. It took me a week to recover from the crestfallen emotions, but I am moving on with my life.

Also, you'll have to catch me IRL ONLY to troll me any further. Do you dare?

Peace-Out, Christian Weston Chandler.

”
Chris, recovering from the crestfallen emotions

Chris has since removed all Ivy-related videos from his YouTube account. He went back to a real-world search and unexpectedly, the love quest has become a fuck quest.

Death

"Ivy" committed suicide in July 2009 "from being restricted from Communication, as well as coming to visit me" according to Chris. He tastelessly uploaded CWC "Boyfriend" as a belated memorial.

Gallery

  • OH SHI-! Ivy has been kidnapped by Clyde! IS CHRIS A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO RESCUE HER?

  • Chris is holding out for an hero.

  • AFK, gouging eyes out.

  • Rape is imminent. On a more serious note: Chris fails at pantyshots.

  • Moar original art from Ivy.

  • If the first thing you noticed were the zapbuds, you are beyond redemption.

  • Even the Men in the Pickle Suits love Ivy.

  • Ivy's fursona.

  • Bondage: YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!

Selected Videos

Template:Sweethearts

  1. ↑ Clyde Cash
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