Difference between revisions of "Chris's birthday"

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[[Image:0606-CWC21-2.jpg|thumb|Chris blows]]
[[Image:0606-CWC21-2.jpg|thumb|Chris blows]]
{{quote|Today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!"|Chris, on being nearly 30}}


[[Chris]]'s '''birthday,''' 24 February, is a significant date in his life, for obvious reasons. However, the bizarre inconsistency of how he celebrates (from some new [[vidya]], to [[Examples of Chris's Ego#Christian Love Day|wanting his birthday to be a national holiday]]) warrants some inspection.
[[Chris]]'s '''birthday,''' 24 February, is a significant date in his life, for obvious reasons. However, the bizarre inconsistency of how he celebrates (from some new [[vidya]], to [[Examples of Chris's Ego#Christian Love Day|wanting his birthday to be a national holiday]]) warrants some inspection.
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If the above birthday was Chris's best, then this is probably his worst. No friends, no new [[video games]], and no [[sweetheart]]. The only thing Chris got was kicked out of his [[PVCC|college]] [[English]] class by his professor. Chris first alleged his professor just didn't understand [[autism]], but later confided in [[Sarah]] that he was dismissed for hating on da [[homos]]. All wasn't lost, however, as this event was the catalyst that began the [[Love Quest]]— Chris's enduring search for someone that will [[Barbara_Chandler|put up with his crying and pamper him for eternity]]
If the above birthday was Chris's best, then this is probably his worst. No friends, no new [[video games]], and no [[sweetheart]]. The only thing Chris got was kicked out of his [[PVCC|college]] [[English]] class by his professor. Chris first alleged his professor just didn't understand [[autism]], but later confided in [[Sarah]] that he was dismissed for hating on da [[homos]]. All wasn't lost, however, as this event was the catalyst that began the [[Love Quest]]— Chris's enduring search for someone that will [[Barbara_Chandler|put up with his crying and pamper him for eternity]]
===25th===
[[Image:0940-CWCsAppreaciation.JPG|thumb|Chris's 25th birthday and [[DVD]] launch party]]
To celebrate this milestone, Chris recorded an [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|IMPORTANT MESSAGE]], inspiring girls, boys and dudes of all teenages with the many lessons he has learned from his quarter-century of experience.
===27th===
===27th===


Not much is known of Chris's 27th birthday, other than that it coincided with the burial of his late [[Aunt Corrina]]. Undoubtedly, this cast a shadow on the festivities. In true Chris fashion, he bitched and complained about not being able to [[Obesity|stuff his greedy gullet full of pancakes]], instead of [[Chris_and_death|mourning]] the loss of his aunt. He would later go on to complain in a [[Mumble 9|mumble chat]] about how Aunt Corrina ruined his special day by selfishly dying.
Chris's 27th birthday coincided with the burial of his late [[Aunt Corrina]]. Undoubtedly, this cast a shadow on the festivities. In true Chris fashion, he bitched and complained about not being able to [[Obesity|stuff his greedy gullet full of pancakes]], instead of [[Chris_and_death|mourning]] the loss of his aunt. He would later go on to complain in a [[Mumble 9|mumble chat]] about how Aunt Corrina ruined his special day by selfishly dying. He also received some birthday money, which he used to fund his [[Julie|road trip to Ohio]].


===28th===
===28th===


{{quote|Today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!"|Chris, on being nearly 30}}
Chris's 28th birthday is shrouded in mystery. Other than his [[ego|obsessive desire]] to see his birthday made a holiday, next to nothing is known about how it was spent. What we do know is that he ingested a [[Semen|mysterious substance]] and was [[Magical Man Potion|visited]] by another [[Jerk|male]] guest. [[Alec Benson Leary]] also [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|called in and congratulated him]], all around nice guy that he is.
 
Chris's 28th birthday is shrouded in mystery. Other than his [[ego|obsessive desire]] to see his birthday made a holiday, next to nothing is known about how it was spent. What we do know is that he ingested a [[Semen|mysterious substance]] and was [[Magical Man Potion|visited]] by another [[Jerk|male]] guest. [[Alec Benson Leary]] also called in and congratulated him, all around nice guy that he is.


*'''Sonichu canon:''' Coincidentally (or not), the homo vaccine in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] is distributed into the world's water supply on this day.
*'''Sonichu canon:''' Coincidentally (or not), the homo vaccine in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] is distributed into the world's water supply on this day.

Revision as of 19:17, 16 January 2011

Chris blows
Today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!"
Chris, on being nearly 30

Chris's birthday, 24 February, is a significant date in his life, for obvious reasons. However, the bizarre inconsistency of how he celebrates (from some new vidya, to wanting his birthday to be a national holiday) warrants some inspection.

Notable birthdays

Chris's best birthday EVER!

18th

While most people would've celebrated by partying hard, doing something special, or just acknowledging that they have grown into legal adults, Chris got a Sega Dreamcast. While he did have something of a party, it was very much the kind thrown for small children— comprised of thrown-together decor, last-minute gifts, and some platonic gal-pals as guests. No alcohol, no tobacky, just Kenan & Kel and cake. Interestingly, this was allegedly Chris's best birthday ever. The great importance of this event apparently warranted recording as a story, "My big 18th party".

21st

And now the worst...

If the above birthday was Chris's best, then this is probably his worst. No friends, no new video games, and no sweetheart. The only thing Chris got was kicked out of his college English class by his professor. Chris first alleged his professor just didn't understand autism, but later confided in Sarah that he was dismissed for hating on da homos. All wasn't lost, however, as this event was the catalyst that began the Love Quest— Chris's enduring search for someone that will put up with his crying and pamper him for eternity

25th

Chris's 25th birthday and DVD launch party

To celebrate this milestone, Chris recorded an IMPORTANT MESSAGE, inspiring girls, boys and dudes of all teenages with the many lessons he has learned from his quarter-century of experience.

27th

Chris's 27th birthday coincided with the burial of his late Aunt Corrina. Undoubtedly, this cast a shadow on the festivities. In true Chris fashion, he bitched and complained about not being able to stuff his greedy gullet full of pancakes, instead of mourning the loss of his aunt. He would later go on to complain in a mumble chat about how Aunt Corrina ruined his special day by selfishly dying. He also received some birthday money, which he used to fund his road trip to Ohio.

28th

Chris's 28th birthday is shrouded in mystery. Other than his obsessive desire to see his birthday made a holiday, next to nothing is known about how it was spent. What we do know is that he ingested a mysterious substance and was visited by another male guest. Alec Benson Leary also called in and congratulated him, all around nice guy that he is.

  • Sonichu canon: Coincidentally (or not), the homo vaccine in Sonichu #10 is distributed into the world's water supply on this day.

"Christian Love Day"

The Christian Love Day Declaration (which is totally True and Honest, and not a rip-off at all)

Many people see their birthday as a day of personal relevance. Chris, on the other hand, thinks everyone across the globe should be focused on him too. First seen in the CWC Blog, "Christian Love Day" is apparently a second Valentine's Day, but celebrated exclusively by STRAIGHT folk. In the Mailbag, he clarified he 'feels like' it should be a nationally recognized holiday, merely because he wills it and it's also Mexican Flag Day. However, Chris provides no details on how to celebrate, nor does he put any effort into garnering publicity beyond one lone video.

In Sonichu, the holiday gains slightly more credence, along with some disturbing moral stipulations. It is on this day that the homo vaccine "cures" the homosexual population of the Earth, driving the Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor up to critical levels. It seems to be that this fictional event is the real reason Chris wants to commemorate his birthday as a holiday (well, that and ego). Chris either thinks his comic is so widely known that the date of its denouement would be nationally recognized, or he has a skewed perception of the lines between fiction and reality.

24 February is also...

  • Armenia's Genocide Remembrance Day.
  • The day the Nazi party was founded (1920).
  • The day U.S. military fought a UFO over Los Angeles (1942).
  • The day Egyptian Premier Ahmed Maher Pasha was killed in Parliament after reading a decree (1945).
  • The day Ayatollah Khomeini issued a fatwa for the death of Salman Rushdie (1989).

Other people born on 24 February include...