Manchester High Leaks
In June 2014, CWCki Forums user SkyRaider91[1] began leaking scans of several documents from Chris's high school classes. Many of the pages appear to be charred and/or water-damaged, likely as a result of the January 2014 fire and subsequent events at 14 BLC.
Parenting
Parenting Interview
Presumably Chris interviewed Barb and/or Bob for this assignment, and most of the answers are short and vague to the point of not making much sense; it's unclear whether Barb/Bob were giving brief answers, or whether Chris was just too lazy to record their full responses. Humorously, the interviewee(s) says that "the hardest part of being a parent" has been "dealing w. public school sys", and that they chose to have children simply because "It's nice to have kids." They also make mention of "laughter from 4 kids and 3 situations", possibly referring to the social stigma that Bob and Barb endured as a result of their respective previous relationships and children.
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Describing Development
A worksheet in which Chris was asked to identify one of five characteristics of development exemplified by various situations. Chris only managed to identify half of the characteristics correctly.
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Help This Unborn Child
A worksheet about behaviors which may adversely affect prenatal development. Chris wrote that several things can cause "slow minds", and completely ignored about half of the risk factors mentioned, yet he still received a grade of 14/20.
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Chapter 1 study guide
For this worksheet about child development, Chris probably just regurgitated sentences from the textbook, which makes it a boring read. Of note is that he gave "television" as an example of a child's "enviroment" [sic], possibly shedding some light on Barb's parenting techniques.
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NAME Christian W. Chandler Date 2/9/99 CLASS PERIOD 7 CHAPTER 1 STUDY GUIDE DIRECTIONS: As you read the chapter, answer the following questions. Later, you can use this guide to study the chapter information. Children in Your Life
Why Study Children?
What Is Childhood?
Childhood: Past and Present
The Growth of Child Study
Characteristics of Development
The Importance of Play
Influences on Development
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Chapter 2 study guide
This worksheet seems to be more regurgitated textbook material, but Chris found subtle ways to screw it up, like using mathematical inequalities (see also: using Spanish in his English homework) and failing to cross a couple Ts. He also doesn't seem to understand the concept of adoption, referring to it as "a right to raise a child who is biologically their own."
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NAME Christian W. Chandler. DATE 2/23/99 CLASS PERIOD 7 CHAPTER 2 STUDY GUIDE DIRECTIONS: As you read the chapter, answer the following questions. Later, you can use this guide to study the chapter information. The Importance of Families
Types of Families
The Family Life Cycle
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Chapter 5 study guide
Chris misspelled a couple words, but other than that, this worksheet is just more boring textbook paraphrasing, this time about prenatal development.
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NAME Christian W. Chandler DATE 3/5/99 CLASS PERIOD 7 CHAPTER 5 STUDY GUIDE DIRECTIONS: As you read the chapter, answer the following questions. Later, you can use this guide to study the chapter information. Prenatal Development
Conception
Period of the Zygote
Period of the Embryo
Period of the Fetus
The Genetic Package
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Empathy Belly essay
Chris describes the experience of wearing an empathy belly.
“ | ...while my legs were separated, it put pressure on my private part, which gave me a strange, weird feeling. | ” |
Chris, oversharing about how the empathy belly rubbed his penis |
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U.S. Government
Amendment Timeline
An illustrated timeline briefly describing the 27 amendments to the U.S. Constitution. As is to be expected, Chris used multiple conventions for writing out dates, and made several prominent factual, spelling, and grammatical errors, which are preserved in the transcription.
“ | Dear LADY; PAYUP! | ” |
Congress |
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Worksheets and Essays
Map showing strategic movements during the Korean War, including those of Dong Mc Arthur.
English
English 1999 Grade Report
Chris's 1999 English grade report reveals that he received failing grades on all but 2 items, and a 78% for the year.
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================================================================================ Sun Jun 06 STUDENT GRADES REPORT PAGE: 26 ================================================================================ Excelsior Software, Inc. (C) 1990 NAME: Chandler, Christian CLASS: English I.D.: SECTION: LEVEL: TEACHER: Mrs. Dorazio ASSIGNMENTS ----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+ NO. | DESCRIPTION CATEGORY | GRADE | ----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+ 1 | Notecards I All Grades | 50.0 | 2 | Notecards II All Grades | 50.0 | 3 | Macbeth test All Grades | 84.0 | 4 | Voc 10 S/A All Grades | 20.0 | 5 | Intro Paragraph All Grades | 0 | 6 | Sonnet Disc All Grades | X | 7 | 1st Body Paragraph All Grades | 0 | 8 | Computer lab All Grades | 25.0 | 9 | Sonnet test All Grades | 86.0 | 10 | Pride and Prejudice II All Grades | 0 | 11 | Voc 10 C/C All Grades | 30.0 | 12 | Pride and Prejudice IV All Grades | 23.0 | 13 | Voc 10B All Grades | 50.0 | 14 | Pride and Prejudice VI All Grades | 25.0 | ----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+ CLASS GRADE: 72.0 D+ COMMENTS: year- 78 |
Canterbury Tales Essay
An essay on Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales, with two drafts, a planning/inventory sheet, and a grade sheet. The rough draft looks to be peer-reviewed, while the second draft was most likely reviewed by the teacher. Chris earned a 69% grade on this essay.
“ | And that's how the fox goes overboard w. his pride, and how his crime didn't go into his favor. | ” |
Chris's eloquent conclusion in the rough draft |
“ | Well, that's it for the essay. | ” |
Chris's revised conclusion |
Rough draft transcription (editor's marks in bold) |
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Christian W. Chandler. Canterbury essay. (rough draft) The [editor wrote "Say something about Chanticlers dream?" in margin and an arrow pointing to this paragraph] In this Also in this tale, the fox also expresses too much pride. As the fox carries |
Second draft transcription |
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Christian W. Chandler. Canterbury essay [Chris drew a star in the margin to the left of each line. The editor crossed out the entire row of stars on the first page.] The Canterbury Tales [editor underlined the title for Chris] gives us an excellent portrait of life in the Middle ages. [editor circled the "a" in "ages", presumably because it should have been capitalized] The 30 pilgrims are on a journey to the shrine of Thomas-á-Bechet. On the way to Canterbury, the pilgrims have a contest involving story telling. So, each story that each pilgrim told, [editor wrote "T" above "told", for unclear reasons] was a frame story in the story of Canterbury Tales. In The "Nun's Priest's Tale In this tale/fable, the rooster, Chanticleer, has a dream in which told was [editor circled "which told was" and wrote "?" above it] going to happen later in the tale. In his dream, Chanticleer... → [editor wrote "one side only" at top of this page; evidently this essay was supposed to be single-sided] was attacked by a beast with a "blend of yellow and red." The beast tried to seize him, in his mouth with a "small smout." [editor wrote "sp" above "smout"] Then his wife, Pertelote, woke him up as he was "groaning and lurching," in the "real world." But, Pertelote proclaimed that he was a coward Now, later in the tale, Chanticleer, and the fox, expresses too much pride, and it got both of them into trouble. One day, Chanticleer was sitting on a fence post, then comes the fox. The fox caught Chanticleer by telling him ... about how his father, probably, crowed [editor wrote "Rv" (?) in the margin, possibly meaning "revise"] magnificently, the way he had his chest out, head back, and eyes closed, then he would give a great, magnificent crow. So, Chanticleer [editor wrote "Rv" (?) in the margin, possibly meaning "revise"] expressed too much pride by doing all that, but, just before he crowed, the fox snatched him in his jaws, and ran with the rooster in his mouth. Then, as the fox carries the rooster into the forest, the rooster tells the fox about how clever he was in capturing Chanticleer, and that the fox should shout out how sly and sneaky he was. So, the fox now expressed his pride by... opening his mouth to shout it out, but as he did, the rooster jump out and ran up a tree. And that's [editor circled "t's" and wrote "No contractions" in the margin] how pride got Chanticleer and the fox into trouble. Now, |
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Christian W. Chandler F.C.A.'s:
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ENGLISH 11
Total 69/100 |
Japan War Essay
A wandering, factually inaccurate essay intended to be about Japan and the United States in World War II, which Chris describes as "a very tragic event with guns, insults, and... yuck!". Most of the content is directly quoted from other works (although attributed), and the thesis (if it can be called that) is incredibly vague. There is an outline and two drafts of the essay.
Also note that despite this essay being for his English class, and apparently being corrected on it in the rough draft, Chris wrote parts of the headings in Spanish, including writing his name as Ricardo, on the final draft.
“ | So, the war was started only because the privacy of US was invaded... So, the US and Japan really wanted to get it on. | ” |
Christian Weston Chandler, top scholar of WWII history |
“ | At near the end of the war, "President Woodrow Wilson tried to get Japan to withdraw from Shandong"... Even the President of the US wanted to put an end to this nasty war. | ” |
Chris, not realizing that the sentence that he quoted begins with "At the end of World War I..." |
“ | But the real "barbarians," were the Japanese people themselves. The US thought the same way... | ” |
Chris |
“ | "Very confusing + unclear." | ” |
Chris's English teacher, providing an apt summary of this essay as well as Chris's writing in general |
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Best President Essay
A typically brief essay for Social Studies class in which Chris explains why John F. Kennedy was the best modern president. Both a rough draft and a final draft are included. While the teacher corrected the final draft, all the notations on the rough draft are in Chris's handwriting. Both drafts are typed. Chris received a final grade of 43/50, plus an additional ten points because it was typed. Whether this grade was deserved will be left as an exercise for the historian. Note that Chris misquotes the famous line from Kennedy's inaugural address.
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Warm Fuzzies
A page in which Chris's classmates wrote positive things about him, presumably as a teacher-mandated attempt to bring each other "Warm Fuzzies" and promote acceptance among the class. Most of his classmates clearly stuck by the adage "If you don't have anything nice to say, give a light, generic compliment instead."
"Warm Fuzzies" for I Like your clothes |
Student Life Essay
A planning sheet and rough draft of an essay about how high school students' jobs affect their school performance. For some unknown reason, Chris drew a star at the beginning of each line. An editor (transcribed below in bold; possibly a peer or the teacher) has struck out and corrected some parts of the draft, and ironically made several errors of their own in doing so.
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S.O.L. Test
Chris suggests in this Standards of Learning (SOL) essay that his high school's "seinor" class fund the construction of an indoor swimming pool in the gym as their class gift, demonstrating that he has no concept of how much that would cost. He alludes to gym teachers having "wet-wild" times with the students in the prospective pool; it's unclear whether this is an attempt at innuendo or that Chris genuinely didn't realize how creepy it came across.
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13 Lucky Writing Tips
This one is perhaps the single most baffling example of Chris's writing currently on record, which is quite an accomplishment considering other items in this gallery. The 13 Lucky Writing Tips are a list of notes Chris took which were most likely suggestions and recommendations from a textbook that were read off by a teacher.
Utterly contradicting the very first item on the list, Chris switches from English to Spanish mid-sentence about a third of the way through the list.
“ | 1. Use standard written English. ... 4. The thesis statement es el finallié estancé de íntroductóry paragraphé. ... 13. Cheques tu escribir muy carefully. |
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Selected writing tips |
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Christian W. Chandler 13 Lucky Writing Tips:
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Spanish
This work is dated 7/12/98, most likely referring to 7 December 1998 using the Spanish date format. Chris used pop culture figures (Pokémon, Sonic, The Powerpuff Girls) to illustrate vocabulary words. Chris's class seem to have watched Spanish dubs of The Powerpuff Girls in class[2], so for once he isn't randomly shoving fictional characters into schoolwork. His Pokémon are revealing: he describes Christian the Charmeleon as muy delgado ("very thin"), Ricardo the Raichu as muy divertido ("very funny"), Cole the Beedrill as muy feo ("very ugly"), and later refers to Ricardo as a bombero ("firefighter").
Las profesiones y nacionalidad
A worksheet which required pictures of six different professions and six different flags, with one profession and flag combination per page, and sentences describing each page (e.g. El es un médico cubano, or "He is a Cuban doctor"). Chris opted to hand-draw each page with Crayola Magic Markers, using Lego minifigs and/or Lego catalog photos as models. Note that the United States flag (complete with 25 pentagrams and 15 stripes) is depicted waving in the breeze, while the flags of all other nations are shown flat.
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10/13/98 (due date) Las profesiones y nacionalidad
You will be graded on the following:
TOTAL: 30/
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Chemistry
Mock Job Interview
Getting Acquainted
A bingo-like "icebreaker" activity in which the students of the class were supposed to get to know each other by exchanging personal trivia. Chris apparently only talked to his female classmates, left the grid incomplete, and didn't even fill out the "free" square in the center (his favorite color).
Transcription (classmates' answers in bold):
DATE 9/8/98 CHAPTER NAME Christian Chandler PERIOD 2 GETTING ACQUAINTED Have one person from this class sign and complete each of the boxes. Try to remember interesting facts about each of your classmates. See how many different signatures you can collect. Don't waste time.
Has an unusual pet.
What is it?Is taking a music class.
Heidi
What period?
3+7Lives in my neighborhood.
What neighborhood?Has flown in an airplane.
Sarah
Where to?
FloridaMoved to this area recently.
How long ago?Has traveled out of the US.
Dana
Where to?
KoreaHas two or more sisters.
[???]
Their names?
Mandy
MeganDislikes a food I like.
What food?Has a sibling in college.
What college?Is wearing something yellow.
What?Is older than me.
Heidi
How old?
18Was born outside Virginia.
Where?Me !!
Favorite color?Drove a car to school today.
What make?Is taller than me.
How tall?Will play a varsity sport.
What sport?Has ridden on a train.
Kellie
Where to?
FloridaAttended first grade outside Chesterfield.
Where?Is younger than me.
Natasha
How old?
17 yr.Is in another class with me.
What class?Has seen "Men in Black".
How many times?Has two or more brothers.
Their names?Has four or more pets.
How many?Likes a food I dislike.
What food?Has a toothbrush the same color as mine.
What color?Have you completed the box in the center of the grid? When you have completed five boxes in a row (diagonally, horizontally or vertically) show the results to me for my approval and further instructions.
Safety Worksheets
Safety in the Kitchen worksheet
Chris would go on to ignore many of the lessons from this kitchen safety worksheet, allowing him to slip on cat shit in the kitchen and burn down his house by plugging in a coffee maker to an extension cord in the bathroom.
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Kitchen Safety outline
An outline on kitchen safety. As with the worksheet, Chris failed to absorb most of the guidelines here, unless "putting bandages on our Mom's holey buttocks" counts as "[guarding] against pests/bugs".
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Kitchen Safety true/false worksheet
A true/false worksheet on kitchen safety. Chris's answers have been corrected and each has been marked with either a checkmark or a smiley, with no apparent pattern.
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