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Klop's Sandbox
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Chris and death#Suicide
PROTIP:
Suicide is a serious mental health issue that the CWCki is not equipped to deal with: if you or someone you know is in crisis, you should go here. But, we digress…
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Since Bob's death Chris's ability to recover from traumatic events has receded by a lot. Bob's death was the first major permanent change to Chris's life. Before that point sweethearts and trolls alike came and went, but Chris was resilient and unchanging. This has lead many trolls to worry whether Chris may commit suicide to end his suffering.
Why we should worry
There are many problems that have caused some followers to worry that Chris may kill himself, to escape the pain of his incredibly miserable real life and go to CWCville forever:
- Chris is almost 40 years old, with no real income, no savings, no qualifications, and a lot of debt.
- Chris gets bullied and manipulated by weens on a regular basis, and his only friends exist in his imaginary world: Chris’s grasp on reality is so tenuous, that he now rejects offers of friendship from genuine people in favor of enablers, who play along with his beliefs before bailing out at first sign of trouble (such as the Teen Troon Squad).
- Chris’s only real relative is Barb, who is nearly 80 years old and also deep in debt: with no confirmed plans by other family members to take Chris in, there are growing concerns that the mounting debt (worth over $155,000) could lead to the so-called "Homeless Saga" when Barb dies.[1]
- Chris has little to no chance of getting a job or a sweetheart, with over a decade of unsavoury information about him on the internet, and weens and A-Logs who regularly try to get him banned or fired from every place that he visits or works.
Chris originally did not know about the CWCki, and therefore was unaware that all his sweethearts (such as Kim Wilson) were actually trolls: Chris actually considered suicide in October 2013, after discovering that past events and friends were nothing more than trolls or paid acquaintances.[2]
Why we should not worry
- Editor note: please find source to confirm if Chris ruled out hanging and/or firearms.
However, there are a number of reasons why Chris still has a genuine interest in life, despite all the trouble that he went through:
- Chris still gets positive publicity, such as Sonichu’s appearance in Sonic Rebuilt in March 2020: there are also "mainstream" observers like dodie and Harry Partridge, as well as those who just want to know how Chris crowbars CWCville and his characters into reality.
- The Dimensional Merge, while semi-apocalyptic, is not a death cult like Jonestown: Chris believes that he can travel between dimensions without having to die. Furthermore, he believes that his imaginary world will teleport into the real world, and not the other way.
- Although enablers have not been helpful to Chris’s already tenuous grasp on reality, many of them act like they care about him, to such an extent that they may have unwittingly discouraged Chris from kicking the bucket.
- Actually committing suicide is not easy: hanging can be long and painful, slitting wrists can be very long and very painful, and it is not easy to acquire firearms or poison.
In October 2013, Chris ruled out suicide, not only because of Barb and his pets, but also because of his belief (at the time) that suicide would leave him in Limbo.
Chris and language
Languages are systems of communication consisting of units of meaning (i.e. words) arranged in a structured and conventional way. Chris has yet to learn how to communicate effectively, and therefore is incredibly poor at any language he uses.
Living in the US all his life, Chris uses English as his primary language in both writing and discourse. He also learned Spanish as a second language, although poorly due to lack of practice. He has also used some phrases and words from other languages and has shown interest in learning Japanese.
Chris commits multiple mistakes in both writing and speaking due to a variety of reasons. Chris stopped speaking at the age of 1, and he didn't start again until the very late age of 7 years. Chris barely has any interaction with other humans offline. His autism and literal thinking also contributes to this problem; he takes sentences at face value, not thinking of any implication or hidden meanings in the sentence.
Chris is somewhat better at writing than speaking, since Chris writes more often than he speaks, and writing allows him to read over what he says before he presses send. Still, Chris's writing is riddled with grammatical, semantic, and literary flaws.
Common problems
Editors note - Mistakes Chris makes or would make while speaking any language. Things like using “ein“ instead of “eni" or how he reverses certain words like Pmurt.
CWC-isms
- Main article: CWC-isms
Chris has a habit of creating new words and using them without explaining what they mean in conversations. The CWC-ism "Tugboat" was used by Chris in an E-mail to Cole without telling him what it means. Oher words include "Noviophobia", "China" and "Ducks".
Writing
- Main article: Chris and writing
Penmanship
In contrast to the formless nature of his artwork, Chris has halfway-decent penmanship. Still, he often writes the wrong letter and ends up having to either scribble over it or "fudge" it into another letter.
Oration
- Main article: Chris and oratory
English
- Main article: English
Editors note - For discussing his problems in english
English is the most widely spoken language on Earth and Chris living in the USA should have been a master at it. Sadly, Chris's grasp on english is tenuous at best.
Writing
His writing is riddled with wrong spellings, bad grammar, unnecessarily capitalised words, wrong syntaxes and non-existant words.
Speaking
- Main articles: Chris and oratory and Speech impediment
Spanish
- Main article: Spanish
Editors note - For discussing mistakes he makes in Spanish
Others
Other than the two major languages Chris uses, he has tried dabbling in other languages.
Japanese
Chris being a Japanophile, has shown interest in learning japanese. He also uses the popular japanese words like “Kawaii" and "Senpai".
In November 2017, he released a drawing of him and Sailor Moon having a conversation in Japanese. The dialog was provided by the Idea Guys and the dialog therefore is filled with memes and lewd remarks.
Japanese | Translated text | What Chris thought it said | Who said it |
---|---|---|---|
私は同性愛者です Watashi wa dōseiai-shadesu |
I am a homosexual. | I concur. John Elder had quite the autistic share and flair. | Chris |
お腹が空きました Onaka ga akimashita |
I'm hungry. | Quirky, but intellectual | Luna |
お前はもう死んでいる Omae wa mō shindeiru |
You are already dead. | What a fascinating read. | Ami |
The last line is a reference to the manga/anime Fist of the North Star.
The text on the bottom is possibly: "You look like the kind of person who fucks a guy in the ass and doesn't have the courtesy to ejaculate inside him," which Chris thought was "Smart hearts; smart minds; well-educated support."
Yiddish
Not a language Chris has shown interest in per se, but he has used the phrase “Oy Vey“ multiple times. It has a slight anti-semitic undertone, the translation is "Shut it". He has stopped using it due to him no longer being (openly) anti-semitic
References
- ↑ Guardsman42 (21 June 2019). Re: Chandlers sued for debt megathread. Kiwi Farms. Retrieved 19 December 2019.
- ↑ October 2013 Facebook Posts § Reality Comes Knocking