Voicemail greeting
Chris's voicemail greeting is something which many trolls have experienced when attempting to call Chris on his cell phone. The greetings have been changed numerous times and their content has varied greatly over time, ranging from straightforward to hostile to downright bizarre. This article is not an exhaustive record of the greetings Chris has used (as he may have changed it and no one bothered to tell us), but is nonetheless a good collection of messages spanning a period of many years.
Examples of Chris's voicemail greeting
22 January 2009
Hello. You have reached the cellphone of Christian Weston Chandler, the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of Sonichu and Rosechu. So le- leave a message. Please su-doe-do so at the beep, oh and leave your name and number, and I might get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
2 August 2009
Hello. You have reached the cellphone of Christian Weston Chandler. I'm sorry I could not answer right now, but please leave your name message, telephone number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. And I was advised heavily by my publicist and my lawyers to not do any interviews or a documentaries whatsoever. Even in--because I got so much reputation--and at stake--at the current time. Also if this is a, uh, troll trying to troll me back, do you think how much trollin' stupid? I'm not trollin' stupid, you're trollin' stupid. Have a good day.
- No recording.
31 December 2009
Hello. You have reached the cellphone of Christian Weston Chandler. I'm sorry I cannot answer right now, but please leave your name, message, and telephone number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
1 March 2011
I'm sorry, but the person you are trying to reach is very paranoid of cyber-bullies at this time. If you are coming in on restricted, unknown, or out-of-state-of-Virginia number, please do NOT leave a message and do NOT dial this number again. Message 1-5-8.
- No recording.
19 April 2011
Hellooo, I'm not available to answer the phone right now, please leave your name, message, and telephone number and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
c. May 2011
Hello. Leave message. Goodbye.
- No recording.
13 May 2011
Hello. Please leave your name, message, and telephone number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Otherwise if this is an unsolicited call or you are a person I have not met personally before this call do NOT leave a message and do NOT dial this number again! I repeat: If I don't know you, we have not met personally before, do NOT dial this number again. Otherwise leave a message. I will get back to you or whatever. Have a good day.
- No recording.
20 June 2011
Hello, you have reached the cellphone. Ye-listen, I screen my calls, so it is very unlikely that I will ever pickup on you especially if I have not met you in person. So you're better off just leaving a message, and I will listen to it, I may or may not get back. Don't call my number again- ha-had repeatedly. So, yeah, with that, you have reached the cellphone, please leave your name, message, and telephone number, I may get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
- No recording.
2 July 2011
Hello, please leave a message at the beep and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
- No recording.
15 July 2011
Hello, you have reach sh-cell phone. Christian Chandler. Please leave your name, message, and phone number and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
- No recording.
6 December 2011
Hello, I'm sick. Don't call this number again. Otherwise leave a message at the beep... Have a good day...
9 December 2011
Hello. Please leave your name, message, and telephone number, and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
11 February 2012
Hello, all unsolicited calls will be deleted! Other than that, please leave your name, message, and telephone number, and we will considerably get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day!
30 April 2012
[maniacal laughter] You trolls got served! [maniacal laughter] Oh, you know what to do after the beep.
3 May 2012
Hello, leave your name message and telephone number after the beep. Have a good day.
- No recording
6 May 2012
Hello, please leave your name and number and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
- No recording
20 May 2012
Hello, please leave your name, message, and telephone number and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
- No recording
4 June 2012
Your call is being forwarded to an "I don't give a damn" service! Do not stay on the line! Do not dial this number ever again in your lifetime! Goodbye!
12 June 2012
Hello. I do not understand people. Leave me alone, or leave me a message with your name--telephone number, leave message...I'll get back to you...if I know you in person...or...somethin'. Whatever. Um... have a good day.
Between Mid-2012 and Mid-2014
[singing] Believe it or not, this is Christian Chandler's phone. Please leave a message at the beep. I must be busy, or I'd pick up the phone. What the hell now? Believe it or not, I'm really stressed.
- No recording.
January 2015
[in an overly-feminine tone] Hello, you have reached this cellphone. Leave your name and address and telephone number and I may get back to yooouu. Have a good day.
- No recording.
June 2015
(in a voice not unlike a 50-year-old woman) Hello! You have reached Christine's CELLphone. Please leave your name, message, and telephone (voice cracks) number, and I may get back to you soon. Have a good day!
December 2015
This message is based on George's message from the Seinfeld episode "The Susie", which itself is based off Joey Scarbury's theme song for The Greatest American Hero, "Believe It or Not".
Dun, dun dun dun dun, dun... Believe it or not, Christine's not in, please leave a messaaage at the beep! I must be busy or I'd pick up the phone. What am I doing? Believe it or not, I'm occupi-iiied!
July 2016
Hi, you've reached Christine Chandler's cell phone. Please leave a message after the beep, I'll get to-back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
- No recording.
February 2017
Hello, you have reached Christine Chandler's cell phone. Please leave a message after the beep, and I might get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
- No recording.
31 March 2023
The service you are attempting to use has been restricted or is unavailable, please contact customer care for assistance.
- No recording.
Examples of Barb's voicemail greetings
31 March 2023
Hello, you have reached the residence of Mrs Chandler. Please leave a message, and I'll give you a call. Have a good day.
- No recording.