I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas

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Only in Chris's dreams.

"I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas" is Chris's Christmas poem from Sonichu's News Dash #6, dated 04 December 2004.

Text

I want a girlfriend for Christmas, now and forevermore.
I want a girlfriend for Christmas, so I won’t be lonely anymore.
She should be 18-22.
And she ought to be Boyfriend-Free too.
Why do all the Jerks get all the pretty girls,
Leaving me with none to choose from.
I want a girlfriend for Christmas, to share my love, oh.
I want a girlfriend for Christmas, to kiss under the mistletoe.

Analysis

This is one of the minority of Chris's poems that shows an attempt at poetic structure. The rhyming is almost perfect, if very lazy (rhyming "forevermore" with "anymore" isn't terribly impressive), except he appears to have forgotten about what he was doing and thus ruined an almost perfect rhyming scheme. The meter sucks too, but Chris likely doesn't know what a meter is.

Chris also found it appropriate to go off on a tangent about how the male population is stealing all the girls away from him. Chris just cannot stay on one subject for long.

As usual, Chris seems to believe that a girlfriend is a possession.

See also:

The writings of Chris-Chan

Poetry: "Valentines Day Hymn" | "For My True Love, I Would…" | "Hard Love Quest" | "I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas" | "Saddest Heart in the World" | "Song of Christian" | "Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu" | "An Inspired Poem for Jackie" | "PAIN Enduring since October 29, 2013" | "Ride or Die" | "Weston Haiku"

Prose: "How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls" | "A Week With Christian Chandler" | "My big 18th party" | "Bionic the Hedgehog" | "Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs" | Sonichu's News Dash | "Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares" | "Story of My Current Days" | "The High School Story" | "A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story" | Chris's Response to the Terrorism Attacks in Paris | Chris's letter to Cathy Weseluck | Chris's letter to Kelly Sheridan | "The Awakening of a CPU, AKA The Idea Guy Corruptions" | THE DIMENSIONAL MERGE IS HAPPENING NOW! | Sonichu Journal Pages | Whispering Spell (Restore Magic) | Dimensional Barrier Shatter Spell | SNT Vs Sonichu 2.5-Plus | Jail letters

See Also: Signature

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