A CWC Audition

A CWC Audition is a video by Christian, published by Clyde Cash on 16 April 2009. It shows Chris doing an audition in a film in which he believes he will be starring.

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Transcript

[Drops controller] Oh yes, ok... to, eh, for Vanessa Hudgen's eyes only, this is an audition of, uh, some romance and anger, and we will sing along.

[Starts singing]

Ooooh it's a jolly holiday with Ivy, Ivy makes your heart so light.

When the sky's gray and ordinary, Ivy makes the sun shine.

Ooooh happiness is squirrling all around her, a daffodil is smiling at the dawn.

When Ivy holds my hand, I feel so grand, my heart starts beating like a big brass band.

[Retarded heartbeat gesture]

It's a jolly holiday with Ivy, the wonder that is Ivy that I love.

[Finish singing]

Mmmmh my sweetest Ivy, I like a ode to you from my heart.

"You are the sweetest Ivy, with you for you, covered the arboretum with such tender and such grace. You're surrounded by glorious fourly-clovered and shamrocks and strawberrys, and all sorts of vareity of delicious fruits amongst your vines. And yet the garden that you, that-that lies within the arboretum is majestic under the sunlight, but it's even more beautiful, is you, cause you are my sweetest Ivy. I love you. I love you Ivy. I'll never give you up because you mean so much to me. I love you Ivy."

[Hugs and kisses an Ivy drawing while moaning]

I say good morning to you every day, and I say good night to you every night, and I love talking to you about your day and mine. And about yourself and I tell you about myself so much, we can find in each other so well.

You mean so much to me Ivy, cause you have performed a mirac-you have performed a miracle that only my s-truliest sweetheart could ever perform. You've fixed my biological clawck.

[baby voice] I bee sleepeee! [/baby voice], during the 9:00 hour, or 10:00... [fake yawning] mhhh, and I get up fresh as a daisy during the 6:30 am in the morning.

I love you Ivy, i'd fight for you, i'd fight for you if need be. Scoundrelous Clyde Cash, you dare try to get in the mid of my path, of my path, in my internet life, even in my real life, you will NEVER steal Ivy away from me, cause not only will I protect her, but God n' Jesus will too.

[Chris starts fighting against imaginary Clyde Cash]

GET BEHIND ME, IVY! I'll protect you from that murderous scoundrel!

Clyde Cash... SHWOON!

Take this! Pwoon! Pingg! Pishh! Come on, you want some of this?! you want some of this, Clyde?! Poom! Poong! Poof! Come on Clyde, kiah! Pwoon! Come on, come on! Pingg! Pishh! Oh, is that all you've got?! IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT?!

[Tard-Fu combo] HNGHNGHNGHNGHNG!! BOOM!!

[Imaginary victory for Chris]

You murderous Clyde Cash, I swear I will protect Ivy with MY LIFE!, cause she means the world to me, and God n' Jesus knows it. No acting is required because, I mean this so much from my heart.

Fairest, Ivy, sweetest Ivy, stay by my side. I will love you and you will ALWAYS love me, for we have declared our love for each other so, much, so often, and I'll make sure to tell you I love you every day, and I will kiss you passionately, kiss you from, I'll kiss you from my heart. Every time my kisses come t-go to you, they'll be from my heart.

I love you Ivy, I always will.

[Imaginary make-out, interrupted by imaginary Clyde Cash]

Clyde... leave us alone... LEAVE US ALONE YOU MURDEROUS FIEND!

SHIN-YE-HAME-HAAA!!!!!

Stay down... stay down, and rot for the rest of your life. For you are destined for an underworld-for an underworld fate, for you have tortured not only my soul, but so many other souls, which upon, they're also known as the internet bullies and trolls. Begone, fiend!

Are you OK, Ivy? Good... Let's us depart to go home, where we'll make sweet passionate love, because we sure love each other, and our love is based so much on that, based so much on that. I love you Ivy, let's go.

Didn't have to remember this from my head? I came, made up as I went.

There you go that's my- that's basically good enough audition I hope, soo... thank you, I'll see you soon Vanessa.

Peace and love.