Ivy
Ivy Bundy (relation to Ted Bundy unconfirmed, but highly probable) was Chris's sweetheart from 25 March 2009 to the first half of May 2009.
The Ivy saga resulted in three Sonichu Specials, four music videos, a bunch of weird and creepy non-music videos, the emergence of Joshua Martinez and Rocky Shoemaker as troll obstacles, and unexpected changes in Chris's behavior.
Due to the increase in absurdity of Chris's behavior in this period, there are many fags who thought, and still think, that Ivy is a figment of Chris's imagination.
Origins
In Captain's Log, Stardate March 18th, 2009, Chris gave a shout out to "Avi" and her friend Rachel. These were originally assumed to be code names for Emily and her friend Stephanie to protect their identities. The next day, Chris edited the video to blows kisses to "Avi".
The video CWC's Message for Ivy on 20 March confirmed that Chris was actually saying "Ivy" and that he had already moved onto a new girl the same day he was tricked by the Man in the Pickle Suit. This video was deleted and so some people did not know about it until 4 days later.
On 21 March, Ivy was introduced on /cwc/.
Character
Ivy is frequently seen with her sidekick Luckett.
Ivy has crabs. Her pet hermit crabs are named Crass and Champ.
Ivy is a redhead. Chris lowered his standards slightly more by allowing her to become a sweetheart (previously, they were excluded along with blacks and non-boyfriend-free girls).
Selected Videos
- 20 March: CWC's Message for Ivy, with Chris's face close up
- 26 March: CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero
- 28 March: Chris Sings Lovin' You
- 17 April: I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy, which has Chris kissing Kimmi
- 17 April: Captain's Log, Chris's apology to Ivy for cheating with Vanessa Hudgens
- 24 April: CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me", Chris's proposal to Ivy
- 1 May: For My Sweetest Ivy, in which Chris wears a suit
Evangelion
Ivy got Chris to see End of Evangelion as inspiration for finishing Sonichu.
Chris's summary: An generic tale of a boy's struggle for acceptance...a lot like him.
What Chris thought he saw: Symbolisms (IN MY EVA?)
Chris's favorite parts were:
- The Misato and Kaji sex scene (where you saw only feet), because it made him feel that he was a big man and that he was watching no-kids cartoon.
- The Rei Angels that were kawaii.
- The internal struggles of Shinji.
What Christ didn't like about Eva
- Everyone turns to orange tang juice
- Rei Angels getting turned on by stabbing themselves.
- The doom and gloom end.
- Auska freaking out (I don't wanna die).
Honeymoon
On 27 April 2009, a comic featuring what Chris thinks would be his perfect honeymoon was leaked.
In this comic, Chris starts out by presenting himself to Ivy's father, a True and Honest police officer dressed in blue with a real metallic badge. They later go to a "Double-CWC" hotel presumably in CWCville, basically a rip-off of the real Double Tree luxury hotels. They both enter a room with as much as 5 Glade lavender air fresheners, presumably to mask the stench of his uncontrollable bowels, all filled with hearts made of rose petals. Once they get there, they start having sex.
During the sex scene, Chris first starts out by pulling off his tuxedo and his dress pants, revealing his trademark striped shirt and medallion. Then he pulls out his LUDICROUSLY ENORMOUS duck, as in the size of a human leg -- which mysteriously happens to shrink later to a normal size in order to fit in Ivy's pussy -- and then, they both transform into their fursonas: Ivy into a non-descript Rosechu, and Chris into Chris-chan Sonichu. Once they're done, they both raise their heads in awe and say "THANK YOU, GOD!".
Afterwards, Chris and Ivy are shown having what Chris thinks of as a fancy dinner: grilled chicken, vegetables, mashed potatoes, and CWC Orange Soda served in wine glasses.
Explanations for why did he considered such a cheap-ass honeymoon are varied. Some people believe it's due to Chris's good ol' narcissism. Others believe this is because Chris was raised in such a dirty and sloppy household, that stuff we would consider mundane are very luxurious to him. Others, meanwhile, believe this is because Chris, being the deranged, socially inept manchild that he is, has never been or was never taken to a fancy restaurant.
Break-Up
One of Ivy's main goals was to get Chris to continue working on his comic. However, Chris didn't want to finish it because Rocky was tipped off and so Chris feared she would break up with him. [citation needed]
Ivy had been planning to break up with Chris for a while, but Joshua Martinez was messing things up for them. Ivy and her friend told Chris and Bob to cancel their cheque to Josh since Josh was trying to scam money out of Chris. Their attempt to help Chris backfired.
After getting Ivy's phone number from Chris, Rocky called the police to do a background check on Ivy, but they came up with nothing.
Barbara wanted to visit Ivy herself. Bob wanted the address from Ivy and her cousins so Barbara could make the surprise trip and so Chris could fuck the shit out of Ivy in her bed.
Ivy discovered that Chris had been stealing money from his parents for his PSN.
She decided to break up with Chris and hung up on him during a phone call. She told Bob they were just friends and that Chris has been harassing her with over 500 phone calls. Bob probably didn't relay the message to Chris and so Chris probably still thinks it's okay to call girls over 20 times a day.[1]
On the night of 14 May, the following was written on Chris's ED talk page:
| “ | I have learned that there was a connection between her and a state in Washington where some of you have been lurking, and that she was not found in any public records. It took me a week to recover from the crestfallen emotions, but I am moving on with my life.
Also, you'll have to catch me IRL ONLY to troll me any further. Do you dare? Peace-Out, Christian Weston Chandler. |
” |
| Chris, recovering from the crestfallen emotions | ||
Chris has since removed all Ivy-related videos from his YouTube account. He went back to a real-world search and unexpectedly, the love quest has become a fuck quest.
Gallery
OH SHI-! Ivy has been kidnapped by Clyde! IS CHRIS A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO RESCUE HER?
- ChrisIvy.jpg
Chris is holding out for an hero.
AFK, gouging eyes out.
Rape is imminent. On a more serious note: Chris fails at pantyshots.
If the first thing you noticed were the zapbuds, you are beyond redemption.
Even the Men in the Pickle Suits love Ivy.
