Stress
| “ | Stress hinders the emotions and physical abiltites as swiftly as a bullet. | ” |
| Chris on stress[1] | ||
Stress is the bane of Christian Weston Chandler's existence.
When pressed on his 'high-functioning' autism and eventually learning that he cannot get away with blaming everything on said autism, Chris discovered that "stress" works just as well. However, it's assumed that Chris could be confusing 'stress' with 'depression', refusing to admit that he is in fact, unhappy with his current situation, as well as the fact that Chris has never experienced actual stress in his life apart from his consistent paranoia over getting trolled.
When under the effects of stress, Chris will typically post videos without his glasses and talk in a more meek variation of his usual monotone speaking voice. It is during these periods of feeling stressed that Chris will opt to remove himself from the internet for about a week or so, and then come back feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and given a new resolve to finish the love quest, usually accompanied by his latest sweet heart. This is most likely due to his autistic regenerative abilities that make sure that his heart never goes below 0% and into the negatives.
Things that give Christian stress
- Cwcki.
- Bullies.[1]
- Trolls.
- People at PVCC.[2]
- "[A] father who starts more arguements than there are flies at a garbage dump".[1]
- A father who doesn't wash his hands.[3]
- Pickles.
- Getting a job.
- Anything requiring him to leave the house.
- Doing any chores in the house.[1]
- The existence of webpages outlining his many failures.
- Asking girls to go out with him.
- His "mental block" of autism.
- Talking to anyone about anything except himself.
- Being told things he doesn't like to hear.
- Having drawings of him finger-banging Megan confused with Crystal.
- Copyright Issues.
- His daily struggle against becoming homosexual.
- Being accused of homosexuality.
- His characters being accused of homosexuality.
- Finding out his internet girlfriend broke up with him because of the Pickle Man.[4]
- Finding out his internet girlfriend died in a brushfire.
- Finding out his internet girlfriend was killed by Optimus Prime in a tragic car accident.
- Finding out his internet girlfriend is a 13 year old boy.
- Finding out his internet girlfriend doesn't exist.
- Finding out his internet girlfriend is marrying someone else.
- People dying.[1]
- Finding out that his date was a mole working for The Man in the Pickle Suit.
- Being famous.[3]
- Being parodied.
- Being criticized or corrected.
- Being friend zoned.
- Having his identity questioned.
- His hormones.[5]
- Anything slightly inconvenient.
- Anything that Autism isn't an excuse for.
Things that relieve Chris's stress
- Mass debating.[6]
- Having a sweetheart resetting his biological clock.
- The prospect of having a "sex time."
Things Christian does whilst stressed
- Shits himself.
- Cries.
- Becomes less/more productive than usual.
- Rages about his "pitiful adult life" in YouTube videos.
- Rages at his mailers.
- Sends death threats.
- Abuses his cameras.
- Crashes Into Slumber.
- Becomes increasingly homophobic.[7]
- Sighs excessively.
- Suffers from memory loss.
- Draws hideous hardcore pornography of his friends and furry avatars.[8]