Call Bobby Chandler

NOTE: Chris was not directly involved in this conversation.

Call Bobby Chandler is a YouTube video posted by user ThePCAssassins uploaded on 21 September 2010. The two individuals call up Bob and ask him only two questions before the conversation takes a turn for the worse. In the nine minutes that followed, we learned that Bob graduated from Auburn University, was an Eagle Scout and Scoutmaster for 20 years in the Boy Scouts, and (less plausibly) that he may have been a member of the Ku Klux Klan. Many trolls disapproved of the callers' tactics, as they were basically verbally assaulting an 83-year-old man over things he had no idea about.

The video was presumably lost for over a decade since April 2013 until Statustjej uploaded it to the internet archive on 22 October 2025.

Audio

Call Bobby Chandler
Click to load content
Stardate	21 September 2010
Subject Matter	Other Bob
Other	Leaked Leaked
Audio Recordings
previous N/A	next Bob's got Cancer

Transcript

(trolls giggling; phone rings three times)
Bob: Hello?
Amfermee: Hello.
Bob: Hello!
Amfermee: Mr. Chandler?
Bob: Who is this?
Amfermee: This is Amfermee Sanchez.
Bob: Who is Anthony Sanchez?
Amfermee: No, Amfermee Sanchez! I’d like to, ah, ask you a few questions, if, ah, um, you wouldn’t mind.
Bob: Well, I don’t know if I’ll give you any answers.
Amfermee: Well, do the best you can, I guess. Number one, um: have you ever heard of a website called bangbus.com?
Bob: No, I’m not on the Internet.
Amfermee: Okay, um, two: What scares you more, a black man living in your neighborhood, or a gay man living in your neighborhood?
Bob: I don’t think that’s any of your business.
Amfermee: Well, um, I um, am doing this for…research and statistics. And I, um…
Bob: (interrupts) It’s still none of your business.
Amfermee: What if, what if I had, uh, a hooker give you a blowjob?
Bob: It’s none of your business. (pause) Just, just quit bothering my telephone and get the hell…
Craig: (interrupts) Tell your son to stop drinking his semen!
Amfermee: Wait, wait, Bob, okay, I’ll skip that question.
Bob: You're, you’re just being an asshole, is what you're doing.
Craig: Your son's an asshole!
Amfermee: Bob, um, um, relax! All right, all right, that was an insensitive question. You’re right; let’s skip that.
Bob: You got no reason to know this kind of stuff.
Amfermee: Bob, relax, relax; take your medicine. And relax.
Bob: I am relaxed, fella.
Amfermee: Well, um, good, um.
Bob: I’m sick and tired of you calling up on my telephone.
Amfermee: I have no idea what you’re talking about. Bob, are you going senile?
Barbara: (inaudible)
Amfermee: Nah, don't listen to Snorlax! You - ugh, she has you pussy-whipped. Stop listenin' to her.
Craig: Bob, man, you fought in Vietnam, man. Just listen to what my friend has to say and tell your wife to shut up.
Amfermee: Yeah, I mean, come on…
Bob: If you guys would just go to college or do something and…
Amfermee: I am in college!
Craig: I’m in college, too, and I’m actually doing something with my degree, unlike Chris!
Bob: Try doing something constructive with your life.
Craig: I am, unlike your son.
Amfermee: That’s kind of ironic, given your son doesn’t do jack shit with his degree.
Craig: Yeah! Honor rolls, my ass!
Bob: I have my degree, fella.
Craig: No, your son! Your retarded son who drinks semen!
Amfermee: I'm not talkin' about you, I'm talkin' about your son. The one that drinks his own sperm?
Craig: Yeah, eats McDonald's?
Bob: He has his degree also.
Craig: He doesn’t do nothin' with it, though.
Amfermee: What’s he got with it? What’s he done with it?
Bob: It doesn’t matter what he’s done with it, it's none of your fucking business.
Amfermee: It does, 'cause you're telling us- 'cause you're telling us to go to college.
Craig: Yeah, you're telling us to go to college, w - I wanna know what your son's done. What's he done?
Bob: It’s none of your business.
Craig: It is, 'cause he tells us on the Internet. It’s everybody’s business now.
Amfermee: Yeah!
Bob: It’s none of your business. Why don’t you (inaudible, interruptions) quit bothering us, or I won’t answer your phone at all!
Craig: (indistinct) Jesus, man.
Amfermee: Okay, all right, you know what, let's skip that question since it's obvamously - um, it might make him shit his pants and get - (stammers) Let's skip that question.
Bob: Listen, fella-
Amfermee: Bob…
Bob: Hey.
(repeat ad nauseam for several seconds as Bob and Amfermee try to speak over each other)
Bob: I'm talkin'… I’m talkin' to you, listen, I’m talkin' to you…
Amfermee: I'll get the stick!
Bob: (amid interruptions from trolls) Listen to me, you, I'm talkin' to you! I’ll tell you what I want you to know, okay? First, I am a graduate engineer. Okay?
Amfermee: (muttering) Oh my god.
Bob: Second, I worked forty years for GE, and I retired from GE. Third, I served this country and this world by creating at least ten patents and automating a whole lot of industry with a whole lot of stuff that you couldn’t live without. I’ve done my service to man kind.
Craig: What about your son?
Bob: I’m an old man now and I want to be left in peace by you fuckers out there.
Craig: Fuck you, you Klansman!
Amfermee: I’ve listened to what you had to say and I…
Craig: Fuckin' Klansman.
Amfermee: (garbled, inaudible babbling)
Bob: Well, I’m telling you this, I also spent my time as a scoutmaster. Okay, I was an Eagle Scout. I spent my time for twenty years…
Craig: Your son drinks his own semen, wears his mom’s underwear. He eats McDonald’s, he whacks off.
Amfermee: Are you telling me you’re a damn… Bob?
(more babbling)
Bob: When you get somethin' that you can tell me like that, then you call me back and tell me. Now you get your own life and stop botherin' mine. I can out-talk you any day of the week.
Craig: (talking over Bob) My son will never drink his own semen. My son will never wear his mom’s underwear. My son will never live in my house when he’s twenty-eight years old. My son does not have the Snorlax for a mother.
Amfermee: Bob, wait, hold on a second, relax. Everyone just relax. Bob, are you - you’re saying you’re a scout manager for NAMBLA?
Bob: No, I’m saying I was a scout master.
Amfermee: For NAMBLA, I got it…
Bob: For a scout troop. A scout troop! You know!
Amfermee: Yeah, yeah, for NAMBLA, I got you.
Bob: Boy Scouts!
Craig: Auhh, totally NAMBLA!
Amfermee: Yeah, NAMBLA. (lots of stammering) Um, okay, I mean, like, how many years did you do that for, for NAMBLA?
Bob: I was a scout master for almost 20 years.
Amfermee: Twenty years in NAM - that’s real impressive, I’m really impressed.
Bob: I have my Eagle Scout badge, which very few of you people out there have. Why don't you go get a life and get out there and do that kinda stuff too?
Craig: The Scouts are gay. The scouts are as gay as your son.
Amfermee: (nonsensical rambling) I think, you know, if I learn first-hand from someone that's experienced it, it might help me more so in the real world, I mean, like, such as yourself. I mean, like, twenty years in NAMBLA-
Bob: I'm pretty, I'm - y'know, I would be embarrassed, if I were you-
Craig: (interrupting) I would be embarrassed to drink my own semen.
Bob: -y'gotta call up people and say "Look," y'know, "I’ve done so-and-so," when you haven’t done crap. Now you can't tell me any one thing you've done.
Amfermee: Like your son, right?
Craig: Well, your son drinks his own cum and wears his mom’s underwear.
Bob: I don’t care, we’re talking about me and we’re talking about my phone.
Amfermee: What about your phone? I…
Bob: This is my phone number, this is my phone that you’re bothering, and I'm sick and tired of it.
Craig: Chris gave us your number.
Amfermee: I-I just said that - I was just askin' you 'bout, what - your 20 years in NAMBLA, and you were talk- talkin' to me 'bout that, I was just sayin' like - uh, so what'd you do after?
Bob: Why don't you get something that you can brag about rather than tryin' to harass people all the time?
Amfermee: 'Cause I don’t brag, that's, that’s not my nature.
Bob: Well, that's fine. So all you can do is harass and bully, right?
Craig: (randomly interjects) Stop living in a house full of clutter!
Amfermee: I'm not harassing and bullying. I'm just asking you a question. You're just getting mad and, y'know-
Bob: Y'know I have friends in the Klu Klux Klan. [sic]
Craig: Oh my god, you're a fuckin' Na - oh ho ho! Holy shit!
Bob: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Craig: I’m so glad we’re recording this.
Amfermee: Are you part of the KKK yourself?
Bob: I was born and ra- I was raised in Alabama, so take your own judgment from that, fella.
Craig: Holy shit!
Bob: I went to school at Auburn's. It's in the heart of the Deep South, so you can take your, you can take your whatevers from that.
(excited gibbering from trolls)
Amfermee: So, from my understanding, you said you went to Auburn, right?
Bob: That’s right, I graduated there.
Amfermee: All right. So you’re telling me that most people who graduated from Auburn are in the KKK?
Bob: No, but I’m saying that a lot of them are. It’s in the heart of the Deep South.
Amfermee: Well, I just said "most people," but okay, yeah... So, I mean, what-
Bob: I’ve seen crosses burning, fella. I've seen 'em. And you don’t wanna see it.
Amfermee: Is Chris part of the KKK?
Bob: You don't wanna see it.
Craig: Wait, wait, wait - are you a member of the KKK, though, Bob?
Amfermee: Yeah. Yeah. All right.
Bob: I won’t say whether I am or not. If I had, I’d come up and see if I've got a white, uh, hood to put on.
Craig: Okay, Bob, all right, we’re just asking you a simple question.
Bob: Okay? Okay? Now get off my damn case and get a life for yourself.
Craig: My black girlfriend's gonna hate me for that.
Bob: Stop bein' a sad, pathetic individual.
Craig: Like your son, Bob?
Amfermee: Bob-
Bob: It doesn’t matter, we’re not talking about my son.
Craig: I’m talking about your son.
Bob: We’re talking about me, and we’re talking about you.
Amfermee: This is a big confrontation. (???) So when you tell us to get a life, why don’t you take those words and tell that to your son, instead of other people, when we’re just trying to ask you questions and learn about life ourselves?
Craig: Why you gotta get so hostile?
Bob: My son has a life.
Craig: Whatever happened to Megan?
Amfermee: Sonichu’s not a life, man!
Bob: My son’s a hell of a lot more creative than you are.
Craig: That’s why we’re talking to you and he doesn’t talk to you. Get it?
Amfermee: He says he doesn’t get along with you that well, so…
Craig: That’s what he puts on his website.
Bob: He gets along with me fine.
Craig: Not on his YouTube page.
Bob: Why don’t you get a life so you can come back and prove me that you’re capable and good enough to talk to me? I have helped my fellow man, and I have helped 'em for forty or fifty years.
Craig: You kinda failed at that.
Bob: (apparently misunderstanding) To hell with that? Yeah, to hell with that.
Craig: You've failed.
Bob: Why don't you go out and get a life and leave me in peace?
Craig: I have one, I’m fucking my black girlfriend every night. I have a black girlfriend! I'm happy!
Amfermee: Bob, tell me something. Do you know what the Pythagorean Theorem is?
Bob: I sure do.
Amfermee: What is it?
Bob: It’s for me to know and you to find out, my friend.
Craig: (inaudible) -bachelor's degree.
Amfermee: (sudden rage) You dumbass! What is it? It’s A squared plus B squared equals C squared!
Craig: HA! Check and mate.
Amfermee: Gosh, Bob! Come on! Failed, right there. (stammering) Do you know anything about the Golden Ratio?
Bob: Listen, fella, I have ten patents. In the realms of industrial automation.
Amfermee: I don't care about your rim jobs in the freaking-
Bob: I helped, I helped to design and, and, and create the computer.
Craig: No you didn’t!
Bob: I helped design and create and put the intercontinental mission in space.
Craig: No you didn’t!
Amfermee: (indistinct) -NAMBLA stickers on your computer?
Bob: Now when you can say something like that, you can call me back. Until then, shut your fucking mouth and get off my phone.
Craig: Epic fuckin' failure.
Amfermee: Hey Bob. Hey Bob. What would you say that (indistinct) I'm a multi-millionaire?
(Bob hangs up)
Craig: He hung up, man. Oh my god!
Amfermee: That was fucking awesome.
Craig: Dude, man, we got him fucking admitting he’s a part of the KKK!
Amfermee: Dude, upload that shit now!
Craig: Got it! I'm a- I'm got- got- m'kay- got it. Got it.