KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special

On August 12th, 2009, chris stood in for Jamsta Sonichu as DJ for KCWC, the CWCville radio station. In a special live broadcast from his bedroom, Chris dedicated 10 songs to a number of people in his life.

Part 1: #10

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Transcript

[Note: All sound effects are done with Chris's voice.]

[Chris makes some random sound effects while holding the KCWC advertisement from Sonichu 8]

[Normal voice] Yes. Yes yes. Yes, what is it?

[Starts with a squeaky voice, but quickly returns to normal] A man wants to know what to do for info-mation. Why call us, it's on the dial: information. You heard him.

[Lame drum roll] Quiet, we're on the air.

[Pause, then chimes, then a cluck.]

[Creepily] Hello, everyboooody. We just brought the moon over the mountain.

[Squeaky] Hello ma, hello pa. [The rest is unintelligible.]

[Interrupting himself] Quiet. [Gay voice] Dis broadcast is being brought to you by the courtesy of Bright-o, in six delicious flavors. Chocolate, vanilla, cranberry, strawberry, and raspberry. [Yes, that was only five.]

[Squawks. Squeaky] It's still raspberry. Ehhhhh. Oh no! [Whooping noise] Now kitty queer-o sake again. Are you listening? V-v-v-voom v-v-v-voom.

[Drunkenly] Hey gedatta here. [Gay voice] Now don't go away ladies and gentlemen. We will soon be with you. [Really, really gay] Zheeem! Boom. Cuckoo.

[Whispers, barely audibly] Da orrist. [Three chimes.] Boop!

[Crappy opening tune. Sings.] It's time to open that radio station. It's that cool radio station. Here it is, station KCWC. And here is your hoooost with the moooost, Jamsta Sonichu

Good evening-good orning guys, gals, dudes of all ages. This is your host, Jamsta Sonichu. Everybody he-here everybody heh. Station KCWC, with my co-host Lolisa Rosechu. But for the moment we will be taking you live to Christian Chandler's bedroom. Take it away, Mr. C.

[Jump cut to Chris sitting on his bed]

Thank you Jamsta. Yes this is [takes off glasses] Christian Weston Chandler, birth name Christopher. Born on February 24, 1982. Ri-coming to you live from the house in Ruckersville, Virginia, that reaches from the beaches to the shore. Everdear on everythang KCWC. And today we will be offering a special dedication. It's our top ten dedications to some of the young, inspiring people out there. Uh, even some that may have passed away unfortunately, God rest in peace for those individuals. But anyway, we will be doing our top den dedications.

Originally for #10 we were going to do "Drops of Jupiter" from T-uh, from uh... "Drops of Jupiter" from Train I think it was, for this individual named Max Molvania. [Suddenly angry] But you know what this son of a bitch conned me out of Disgaea 3, Street Fighter 4, and Burnout Paradise full game, DLC, between those first two games and whatnot, from the Playstation Network, as stored from me in the first place so [Farting noise] to him... And also impersonated the woman that I th-d-thought for a long time the person was.

Anyway, so instead, we will be doing th-our-for our #10, as for our first inspirational song, we will be doing this dedication for all upcoming young artists of, uh, hand-drawing speculations [makes gesture in the air] or handcrafting or whatever. [Touches medallion] Handcraft. Anyway. Anyway, we will be doing, this is for, like, you know, for all them, as well as any individuals, within any schools - every single school - who I know gets bullied or tortured nadata, as well as those on the internet who get bullied and tortured by the dang internet bullies and trolls. Dis song is for y'all. It's "Dare" from Stan Bush.

[Jump cut to Optimus Prime toy as "Dare" plays. A black wire is lifted past the screen about halfway through for...no discernable reason. Also, we now see where Chris' glasses get thrown to, which is important.]

[Jump cut back to Chris. He takes off his glasses.]

Ah, yes, Mr. Stan Bush with an inspirational word for us never to let our dreams die. The power's at our command. [Holds up his hand] We hold the future in our hands [points to head] the little voice inside us tellises to lash around, but we press on anyway.

Anyway, before we move on to song #9, we have to take a brief break for to let the commercials air. First, the word from our sponsor, the "I Love Lucy" show. We love you Lucy O'Ball.

[Holds up KCWC advertisement again. Talks in a falsetto.] Hello friends, I'm da Vitameatavegimin girl. Hey ta, run down lislis. Do you wayla parties? Are you popular? Get ya all da brothels in Lucy O'Barno. Vitameatavegimin. Vitameatavegimin contains vitamins, meat, veg-et-ables and minerals. Yes, with Vitameatavegimin, you can spun your way to hell. Just take one tablespoon full after every meal. It's so tasty too. Mmm, tastes like candy. So why not join the thousands of happy cappy people and get a big bottle full of Vitameatavegimin tomorrow. That's Vita-meata-vegimin.

Part 2: #9 and #8

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Transcript

And! Welcome back to station K-C-W-C! We are the main station of the city of Cwcville, Virginia, reachin' da beaches! We are live and raring to keep on trackin' with everything. During dedications, I'd like to take one brief, brief moment to make a dedication to Mr. R.L. Stine, [holds up Goosebumps novel, turning his head briefly to his right as if to read off a cue card] author of Goosebumps, [pauses, then holds up two Fear Street novels, turning his head again briefly to the right] and the Fear Streets. Thank you mister R.L. Stine, you were an [salutes] inspiration to me through high school. Gave me a few frights as well.

And also thanks to Sarah [??], my- one of my high school gal-pals, who gave me a couple of S- your Senior books... uh, I have the other one, but I found this one, but, still good to go.

Anyway, coming in at, uh, #9, we are doing a distance dedication (well, not so distant, 'cause he lives near sa- near the city of Ruckersville or Charlottesville... uh, Dyke, I believe it was). Anyway, we are puttin' out a dedication to Joshua Martinez, followed by one for Vanessa Anne Hudgens. Hey, don't believe his pictures, all the ladies he has on his iPhone: they're from people's Mysp- spaces that he dun even know, so he's lyin' through his ass (and I bet he was lyin' through his ass when, when he told, when, uh, he told me I was talking to Vanessa Hudgens the whole time, uh, even though i- even though it would have been nice gal-pal and I should have been talkin' to her for real, but, but nonetheless, his screenname was used for it every time I talked to supposedly her, if I was him the whole time, god-dang dirty liar! I don't care if the trolls troll HIM!).

Anyway, our next song is "No Tengo Dinero" from Los Umbrellos (and, by the way, another lie he told me: I checked. [pauses] Vanessa Hudgens was never in Los Umbrellos). So anyway, come in #10, "No Tengo Dinero," followed by (I mean, #9 was "No Tengo Dinero"), followed by #8, "Sneakernight." Thank you, Vanessa, [??] I should be talkin' to you.

["No Tengo Dinero" by Los Umbrellos plays, followed by "Sneakernight" by Vanessa Hudgens. Chris has the cover of the Dreamcast title Samba De Amigo in front of the camera. Video ends just as "Sneakernight" ends.]

Part 3: #7

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Transcript

And you are listening to Everything Station KCWC! That was, uh, shoot, "Sneakernight" from Vanessa Hudgens. That, ladies and gentlemen, coming in on #8 I believe it was (yeah, #8) on the Top 10 Dedications.

Coming up next at #7, we got another long-distance dedication, to an old gal-pal of mine that I almost had a ra- had meant to be- had her "I love you" before I got kicked out, Megan Schroeder, her, from her favorite, this is from her favorite artist, Yngwie Malmsteen. Take it away, Mr. Malm.

["Making Love (Extended Guitar Mix)" by Yngwie Malmsteen plays, with Megan's original drawing of Megagi in front of the camera.]

Part 4: #6 and #5

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4:50 Chris dedicates the song to his younger self, saying that Christopher lives on inside of him and his blue eye.

5:20 Chris talks about his time in the Boy Scouts while wearing a yellow neckerchief. He reveals that he was kicked out because he was autistic and the world loves to play kick the autistic.

Part 5: #4

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Part 6: #3

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You are listening to Everything Station KCWC.

Coming in at #3 for our Top 10 Dedications, a friend- sweet friend of mine- good friend of my sweet, my doomed sweetest Ivy O'Neil, [??] (I dare not reveal her real name), but anyway, she has been a good friend of her, her [??] the days and she's be-uh, she has been good to me as well. So anyway, based upon her suggestion and, uh, request, here's a classic, here's a good one from Britney Spears, "Heaven on Earth."

["Heaven on Earth" by Britney Spears plays.]

Part 7: #2

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[Song "Holding Out For a Hero" by Bonnie Tyler plays. A picture of Chris and Ivy from Sonichu Special 1 is in front of the camera.]

[Picture disappears, leaving us looking at Chris' ugly manchild mug, with his eyes weirdly bulging from his face.] Ahhh, yes. Coming in at #2, that was Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out For a Hero," dedicated to my sweetest Ivy O'Neil. It was a fool of my father, tricked me into believing him, and my detective not finding her father in any of the police records. (Shoot.) [Sighs.] My heart still, has a place for your smile, Ivy. Please come back. But, you know, I'll move on, still, but, you know, it'd be nice if you'd come back one day.

Anyway, now, after the commercial break, we'll talk about s-, we'll talk about #1 on the hit dedication charts, right here on station KCWC!

Part 8: #1

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Transcript

Hello and back to everything station KCWC in [removes glasses] CWCville, Virginia. Anyway, coming in another number one on the Top 10 Dedication, it's inspirational. I was in the by somebody, yeah. Got high on th top two left from Australia, PandaHalo she died in the brushfires . Book number twelve

"Lift up your eyes" by The PlanetshakersOn everything station KCWC and when everything is back. Have a safe day.

[The song plays, while Chris shows the cover of Sonichu 10]