I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas
"I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas} is Chris's Christmas poem from Sonichu's News Dash #6, dated 04 December 2004.
Text
I want a girlfriend for Christmas, now and forevermore.
I want a girlfriend for Christmas, so I won’t be lonely anymore.
She should be 18-22.
And she ought to be Boyfriend-Free too.
Why do all the Jerks get all the pretty girls,
Leaving me with none to choose from.
I want a girlfriend for Christmas, to share my love, oh.
I want a girlfriend for Christmas, to kiss under the mistletoe.
Analysis
This is one of the minority of Chris's poems that shows an attempt at poem structure. The rhyming is almost perfect, if very lazy (rhyming "forevermore with anymore" isn't terribly impressive), except he appears to have forgotten about what he was doing and thus ruined an almost perfect rhyming scheme. The meter sucks too, but Chris likely doesn't know what a meter is.
Chris also found it appropriate to go off on a tangent about how the male population is stealing all the girls away from him. Chris just cannot stay on one subject for long.