Pokémon
|
YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK! The contents of this page have been bought with taxpayer money! |
|
Pokémon is one of Nintendo's greatest creations, a Japanese cultural phenomenon that is beloved by children around the world, and a billion dollar multimedia franchise encompassing video games, card games, toys, an anime series, and much, much more.
Yet it only took one autistic manchild to forever ruin it for an entire generation.
Chris-chan in the Pokémon world
Chris, according to the Sonichu article in CWCipedia, sees himself as an official Pokémon gym leader. He claims to have all 387 Pokémon leveled-up to level 100 on his Pokémon Diamond game, all of them being trained without any kind of cheating or rare candies. It's not certain whether this is truth or more of his autistic imagination. However, given the fact he owns every Pokémon game and game system, in addition to the fact he has no life at all, it may very well be true. Who knows? All it takes is a load of time, and Lord knows Chris's time isn't going to anything good.
It should be noted that the Generation IV games such as Diamond, Pearl, Platinum, HeartGold and SoulSilver feature 493 Pokémon, something that should be common knowledge to anyone claiming to have achieved what Chris has, make his "collection" far from complete. However, #387 is originally the Pokédex number Christian had used for Sonichu, following after Deoxys, the last Pokémon in the series at the time of Sonichu's inception. It is possible that Christian refuses to accept all Pokémon in Diamond/Pearl as canon in order to keep with his established idea of Sonichu being #387. This theory is further fueled by the fact that none of the Pokémon from Diamond/Pearl ever appear in the Sonichu comics, although it contradicts his previous statement.
TL;DR - He's a fucking deluded moron.
As the leader of the CWCville Pokémon Gym, Chris has as a team:
Pokémon appearing in Sonichu comics
- Pikachu - Transformed into Sonichu in Sonichu 0. Despite the importance to Sonichu lore, this is basically the only time a Pikachu appears or is mentioned in the comic. From this point on, it's all just shitty recolors of Chris' first shitty recolor.
- Raichu - Transformed into Rosechu by the Rainbow, in Sonichu 0.
- Dragonite - One of Kel's other Pokémon, named David. In Sonichu 0, Kel offered his sexual services to Rosechu.
- Zapdos - Used by Naitsirhc to kidnap Rosechu and battle Sonichu in Sonichu 0.
- Raikou - Used by Naitsirhc as a getaway ride in the same episode.
- Venusaur - Wild Sonichu's adoptive mother from Sonichu #3.
- Scyther - Wild Sonichu's adoptive father from Sonichu 3.
- Swampert - Bubbles Rosechu's adoptive mother from Sonichu 3.
- Wailord - Dropped a boulder on the Swampert in Sonichu 3, forcing Bubbles to evolve.
- Mewtwo - Mentored Magi-Chan Sonichu. Taught him to be an emofag in Sonichu 3.
- Snorlax - Chris compared the Jerkhief's weight to this half-ton Pokémon in Sonichu #4
- Jigglypuff - served as inspiration for Jiggliami, an "original" character created by Blanca. Appeared in Sonichu #7 and #8
- Squirtle - Appeared in underwater scene on page 59 of Sonichu 8
- Mudkip - Appeared in underwater scene on page 59 of Sonichu 8
- Seadra - Appeared in underwater scene on page 59 of Sonichu 8
- Goldeen - Appeared in underwater scene on page 59 of Sonichu 8
- Staryu - Appeared in underwater scene on page 59 of Sonichu 8
- Corsola - Appeared in underwater scene on page 59 of Sonichu 8
- Octillery - Appeared in underwater scene on page 59 of Sonichu 8
- Mantine - Appeared in underwater scene on page 59 of Sonichu 8
- Corphish - Appeared in underwater scene on page 59 of Sonichu 8
- Flaaffy - Appears as Layla Flaaffy in Sonichu 9
- Sneasel - Appears as Reginald Sneasel in Sonichu 9.
- Nidoking - Used by Naitsirhc to battle Bionic in Sonichu 9.
Theoretically all of the Sonichus and Rosechus are Pokémon as well, but there's very little to support this theory. None of them rely on trainers, and in fact as far as can be seen they're essentially treated as "human" in CWCville. As Sonees and Roseys, they hatch from eggs and "evolve" into their adult forms, but the similarities end there. For one, only two of them have ever been put into a Pokéball. The closest they get before then is a bizarre inversion when Wild Sonichu puts two of the Sonichu Balls (which look like Pokéballs) into his arms. Also, as individual species' Pokémon don't have the vast varieties of powers and appearances that Sonichus and Rosechus have. Finally, Pokémon can only know 4 moves at a time, whereas Sonichu and company seem to simply have whatever abilities would be convenient at any given moment. (However, to be fair to Chris, the Pokémon anime does not follow this rule when it comes to Pokémon; in fact, many conventions from the game are discarded by the anime, and these same conventions are seen to be ignored in the Sonichu comics. For example, Pokémon having a weakness or resistance to certain kinds of attacks are less a rule than a guideline in the anime, where an Electric attack can not only harm a Ground type, but defeat it in a single attack. Similarly, Sonichu can use Sky Uppercut, a fighting attack, against Zapdos, a flying type, and not have to worry about the attack not being effective.)