Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles
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| “ | And I HAVE the idea for the Video Game for myself, if I can swing that with SEGA as well, an epic tale of my tragic Adult Life straight from my tortured heart and soul. I will bring the pain to the Jerkops, I will kick Mary Lee Walsh into her cauldron to burn, as well as the other villians. And I will have support from my Electric-Hedgehogs, my mother and father, my Closest Gal-Pals who I've grown to love; Megan Schroeder and Anna McLerran to name a couple, sparingly in the game. And I will square-off in the TRULY SELF-EPIC Battle between me, and my Dark Half. I plan to have THIS GAME ALONE go Multi-Console between Nintendo Wii, Playstation 2 and Playstation 3 (with downloadable content); screw the HEX-Box. | ” |
| From An Important Update. | ||
Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles is Chris's ill-conceived, narcissistic video game idea where one plays as Chris trying to fight Jerkops to find a true sweetheart and kill Mary Lee Walsh, with Sonichu and Rosechu as useless, but determined, sidekicks. There is no available information on the genre or mechanics of the game.
Originally, Chris was determined to see Sonichu made into a game, but based on his interactions during Miyamoto Saga and in The Sonichu Chronicles, Chris seems more determined to make his own game where it's all about him and his failure to adjust to adult life.
The game is currently awaiting development beyond the front cover and the advertisement, both of which in themselves break innumerable copyrights. Please note that while he wants the game published for PS2, PS3, and Wii, it should absolutely never be made for the HEXBox.
Cover
In a bold decision in graphic design, the cover depicts Chris having already won his battle, staring determinedly out at an empty back yard littered with the broken iconography of his enemies. While most games presumably end in the hero overcoming his obstacles, only daring experiments in literary form (such as Awesome Possum Kicks Doctor Machino's Butt, which also sucked, but probably not to this extent) actually establish victory before the start button is pressed.
References made on box art:
- 4-cent_garbage.com symbol underneath CWC's foot.
- The cracked helmet of Mary Lee Walsh.
- Merried Seinor Comic's sword arm from Sub-Episode 4.
- The Jerkhief's delicious wooden badge, referenced on the cover of Sonichu #4
- The remains of the purple staff containing Count Graduon.
- Naitsirhc's blue goggles that he wore before his codpiece-wearing homosexual makeover .
- The gray thing with red things stemming from it is the Robotnik medallion that Sonic showed Sonichu in Episode 5.
- Chris's Gitar of Fail (pointing in the wrong direction compared to the strap across his chest).
- Chris's car with a Sonichu license plate.
For a time, the Adult Chronicles illustration graced a console cover attached to Chris's original PS3. Chris preserved that cover as a "memento" after destroying the console, but then transplanted it onto a new (old fat model) PS3 that he got with your money shortly afterwards.
Shigeru Miyamoto's response to the game
CWC Adult Chronicles
In June 2014, a demo was released of an actual, fan-made adult chronicles game; which in December was upgraded to an Alpha stage. The game itself is still in the making, but needless to say, is quite high quality for a flash parody; proving, yet again, that even when purposely making something terrible in response to Chris, it can still turn out good, if not better, than the original piece. The website, featuring trailers, updates, and of course, the game, can be found here: http://maplechan22.wix.com/cwcadultchronicles.
Gallery
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