Chris and remorse

Every so often, the horrendous things Chris does catches up with him and he apologizes. These apologies, like most of the other times Chris tries to come off as emotional, often feel forced and insincere, leading many trolls to wonder if Chris actually feels remorse at all for his actions.

Concept of wrongdoing

The understanding of right and wrong is an important part of a child's development. Very young children do not actually take into consideration what is ethically the right or wrong thing to, instead basing their actions on what they are punished and rewarded for. Chris seems to follow a similar mentality. If something makes him feel bad, or if he knows he'll get in trouble for doing something, he considers it wrong. If it makes him feel good, or looks like it could have potential rewards it must be right.

Evidence of this is not difficult to find, but perhaps the most telling example is how he managed to destroy his relationship with Megan. Chris uploaded the image that destroyed their friendship to Encyclopedia Dramatica without even considering the fact that it would hurt her. When she called him out on his reprehensible actions, he didn't even realize that he had done wrong, assuming that she was upset because she didn't look at as much porn as he did.

“	I understand. You may or may not have had much exposure to sexual images as I've had, so the idea of a "hand job" (which was the act drawn there) as part of outtercourse (versus intercourse) was a surprise to you. I'm sorry.	”
Chris, not getting it at all.

As such, Chris is not really capable of remorse or a sincere apology as most people normally understand them. The natural precursor to an apology is the realization that one has done something wrong, a realization that Chris's childish selfishness and monstrous ego will not allow him to reach. In his mind, "wrong" is a fluid concept -- he's done something "wrong" only when the people around him react negatively. Furthermore, as a rule, he usually assumes that their reaction is just the result of some misunderstanding.

Common traits of a CWC apology

Explanation

One continual element of Chris's admissions of guilt is an explanation of why he did whatever he's apologizing for. The way these speeches are worded often indicates that Chris believes that if we just understood his intentions, we would all agree with him, and that nobody would be offended.

Most famously, this came during the Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009 video. He attempts to explain that the reason he performed various (often disturbing) sex acts was because it had been for Ivy, as if doing such things for an actual woman would make it perfectly acceptable. The video is supposedly aimed at a young child who was shocked by them. He tells her that his behavior was not only normal, but perfectly acceptable because he is both adult and human. Because that logic is so outrageous, this is one of the main causes for Chris to become mainstream because when it was featured on various sites and radio stations which had previously ignored him.

Another good example would be the time he used the worst terrorist attack in American history for an exceedingly bad joke. After seeing the public reaction to his appalling video, Chris did what was expected of him and made a public apology. However it was more concerned with slandering Clyde Cash and assuring us he was a good American than it was an actual attempt at repentance.

File:SnuffOutClyde.PNG

This looks like a good idea.

“	The joke was mainly directed to how WEAK Clyde Cash was only, I had no idea or intention of offending anyone, other than Clyde, on such a massive world-wide level.	”
Chris's written apology.

Within the same video, he changed the photoshop he'd done of the Twin Towers into birthday candles. The fact that he saw no problem in setting the two buildings on fire and repeatedly calling them weak while he asserted that he was a good American proves that he completely missed the point of what he was supposed to be apologizing for.

Rationalization

Chris is incredibly self-righteous. In his mind he is the only decent man left in the world, and everybody else is an evil jerk. This mindset gives Chris all the justification he needs to mistreat others, because as far as he's concerned they're all the bad guys, standing in the way of his heroic quest.

This "everything I do is right" mindset shows through when he is forced to talk about his prior transgressions. Chris might offer a half-assed apology, simply to conform to the wishes of whoever he's talking to, but it will often be accompanied with a long explanation as to why he had to do it.

“	I was wrong... I pretended to be him yet he was the liar. I'm the real deal... So on that one part I was wrong for the right reasons.	”
Chris, almost admitting wrongdoing.

Retraction

Chris, believing that his actions are right, often has to be pressured into making any form of apology at all. Most, if not all, apology videos are because he has been moved by external forces which he cares about (be they obvious troll or otherwise), rather than the public outcry he causes.

One of his favorite ways to spite people is to lay a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha upon them; thinking that he has powers akin to something more along the lines of Wicca, Voodoo, or Goku from DBZ than with the Christianity he practices. He only issued the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction after his latest e-girlfriend told him that he shouldn't have done so.

Considering that he quickly returned to his ways of cursing, threatening, and insulting his enemies, the sentiment obviously didn't stick.