White knight
| “ | Isn't there a white knight upon his fiery steed? | ” |
| Chris, CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero | ||
White knight is a term used to describe someone who goes on the internet to help or defend someone else on the internet against other people on the internet out of pity or compassion. White knighting of Chris is especially prevalent because of the unprecedented amount of abuse he has taken, which in turn is caused by Chris's total inability to heed the white knights in his life.
Counter trolls, a sort of unintentional white knighting, are those who take Chris's side to spite his legion of trolls. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris-chan has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with anti-trolls, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him.
A meta-topic within the broader Chris-chan saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being such an epic lulzcow, and whether he is deserving or even beyond such assistance. The consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's Encyclopedia Dramatica article, /cwc/, PVCC and #sonichu is that Chris's racism, homophobia, and narcissism makes him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him on good faith. White knights and counter trolls are considered to be wasting everyone's time and trolls have little patience for them.
Motives
Pity
Following the release of Chris's first nude photos and the 21 October 2008 video in which he reacted to the loss of his medallions and Blanca, many including trolls felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.
Empathy
The internet is full of autistic people, man-children, and self-absorbed morons, many of which are right here, fascinated with Chris-chan. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his all-consuming need for female companionship or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up; they think they can reason with Chris by speaking from experience.
Kick the Autistic is a cruel game. Quit it!
Circumstances beyond Chris's control
There is ongoing debate about whether Chris is actually autistic. Regardless, there is clear evidence that Chris suffers from serious mental deficiencies.
Chris fails to identify people. Julie and her brother Max used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't identify them as the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict Blanca, and yet Chris thought they were the same person. In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.[citation needed] This is probably why he has denied being fat.
Chris fails to read between the lines. He interprets Family Guy as being against homosexuality.[1] When two male acquaintance exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.[2]
Furthermore, Chris's upbringing was anything but ideal. All of these factors and probably a lot more have led to the man-child we know today.
The trolls have gone too far
BlueSpike's total control of Chris was disgusting, but what he made Chris do outraged even trolls.
Reasons against white knighting
Chris lacks empathy himself
- See also: Chris and death
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. If you used to be as shy around women as he is today, the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation in his mind. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he magically dreams up his own solution.
- RocketFox: My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;
- Chris: RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.[3]
Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately afterwards, he started talking about a sexy dance.
After Ryan Cash died because of Chris, Chris marveled at how much power he had right after he tried to publicly console Clyde Cash.[4]
When Sarah May attempted suicide because of Chris, Chris's reasons for her to stay alive were "I'd feel terrible" and "I'd just cry."[5]
Autism does not excuse a terrible person
Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,[6] and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.
Chris is beyond pity
Chris insulted little kids in card games and scared some of them from visiting The GAMe PLACe. Mimms and Lucas, who frequented there, can't list any redeemable qualities for Chris.
Chris sexually harrassed a woman in real life.
Chris spends his monthly tugboat and more on luxury, stealing from his parents to buy video games he'll never play. Chris has the skills to hold a job with no client interaction, but he hasn't even tried after being fired from Wendy's.
After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new sweetheart right away. No matter the setback, his ego keeps getting bigger.
Chris will reject your advice
Someone carefully explains to Chris why he is a sexist. In response, Chris only gets angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculously, he denies being overweight.
Read Vivitheg's AIM chat. Vivitheg actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that PandaHalo was a troll. Chris fell for her. She then tried to talk some damn sense on him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In Vivitheg's words: "i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try".
Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth
- Hanna was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
- Lori Lopez was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
- PandaHalo was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite Vivitheg's warnings.
- Julie was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
- Robert Simmons V was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
- Sarah May was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
- Sarah Jackson was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
- Blanca was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
- Emily was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
- Ivy was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.
Do you really think he will believe any evidence you send him proving that every fan he has, and pretty much every person he has been in contact with over the past year is a troll?
Chris asks for it, and always recovers
Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's True and Honest, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was merely a squeal begging for more trolling.
TMI is a tactic Chris abuses himself. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute chapters of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more and more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being Honest.
Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and lewd acts are all over the internet? No big deal! So what's the problem?
Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing 21 October 2008 video mentioned above and proceeded to fail even harder for months. So what's the problem?
Chris outcasted himself
High school and college are the places and moments where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's autistic. They tended him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He refused, out of his own volition, to integrate with anyone who wasn't female young, rich, white, and within the Charlottesville area.
When the Dean gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, and was rightly kicked from Piedmont Virginia Community College for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag. He was given several chances to learn that his behavior was not appropriate for a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are Jerkops, that Virginia is for Virgins, and that his Love Quest was him against the world. After being kicked from The Game Place, he was kicked from the last place in Ruckersville that was still open to him, and was left with only one place: his home.
Now, it's too late for Chris. He was given a friendly hand, but he angrily bit it, and that hand will never show up again. He doesn't even belong to his own home anymore. He was forced into exile to Cwcville, the one and only place still open to him, and that place doesn't even exist.
Stress
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to get up-to-date and to thwart the troll output. They'd probably have to lie and pretend to be a girl or video game designer to even capture his attention. This combined with Chris's usual responses is enough to make any sane non-professional psychologist Crash Into Slumber.
Chris will not even read your message
The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online.
The trolling will not cease
Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.
In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his real life friends.
Even if everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unwittingly seek out new trolls to take their place, and we know newfags are more than willing.
If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after his parents die, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his monthly tugboat.
If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the internet.
If the custodian bans Chris from the internet, that's Chris trolling himself.
If Chris gets institutionalized, he will attract real life trolls at the mental hospital.
Examples
- Read: White knight emails
Svenka is a counter-troll.
On 6 May 2009, YouTube user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/ThePinchisDaBomb tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.[7] The Pinch has also threatened BlueSpike saying he has information from his friends but the thing is BLUESPIKE HAS NO FRIENDS.
Sauces
Links
- White Knighting article at Encyclopedia Dramatica