CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san

During his talks with Shigeru Miyamoto to produce his own line of video games, Christian hits a snag when Miyamoto jumps to the conclusion that he is talking to a troll and not the real Christian Weston Chandler. To recover the trust of his business partner, Chris rushes to produce this video, in which he appeals to Miyamoto's cultural background by saying (in an obnoxious accent) things he has heard Japanese people say. He also bows like a woman.

Chris also verifies his identity with several unimpeachable methods:

1. He says he is the real Christian Weston Chandler and asks that the viewer believe him.
2. He holds up his driver's license, proving that he is someone who might be able to obtain a fake ID.
3. He shows off his custom-painted Wii controllers, which everyone knows only the real CWC could possess.

Video

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“

I am a real deal, believe me.

”

Transcript

[bows deeply] Ohayō, Mr. Miyamoto-san.

[loudly sets down Wii Remote and Nunchuk] I am he—I have br—decided to, uh, do this video standing up, as I felt it more appropriate… so that I could also loan myself to bow for your presence and such. [inhales deeply]

Anyway… I have checked my, uh, e-mail account. No trolls have sent any—any slanderous e-mails or—any e-mails, or… nobody has hacked my AOL account of chrischansonichu@aol.com. So… you ha—so, you’re still talking to the real Christian Weston Chandler. [removes glasses dramatically] Believe me. [inhales deeply, sighs, and returns glasses to face]

And also, uh, y’know, I’ve sent you a...nother.... Also, I can also further prove it.... [reaches into pocket] My driver’s license. [holds out license for a close-up] I cover my, uh… number on there… but if you look closely enough, you can—if you look at—in one part, if you—you can see the, uh, “Virginia”… and the state numbers on there. [puts license back in pocket] The state-shaped logo on there.

And also, Mr. Miyamoto… [picks up Wii Remote and Nunchuk] my Wii Remote and Nunchuk. [holds out Nunchuk proudly] “We would like to play” [bows as if presenting the Wii Remote and Nunchuk] to quote the commercial in a honorable way, if I may. [sets Wii Remote and Nunchuk back down]

So, Mr. Miyamoto, please, uh… do not i—do not disres—do not, uh, a—do not, uh, quote me as a—a troll, because I am a real deal, believe me. I mean, although I guess I do deserve it, upon retrospect, since I, uh… [inhales deeply and sighs] made the, uh, accusation myself. So, hopefully, we can set this—set this minor business as—minor bit of bad business aside… and continue on for good business. And hopefully, I will be able to, uh, meet with you in Redmond… as soon as possible. I’ll be talking to my church congregation tomorrow.

And, uh, I wish you a pleasant day, Miyamoto-san. [bows]

Sayōnara for now.

⇐ Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009

Chris's videos

CWC Update 18 January 2009 ⇒