26 December 2014

“	Ugh!!! I Fucking Hate These People for continuing to allow the damn blue arms to exist! And I fucking hate them for changing the arm colour in the first place and ultimately from that damn seed event, force me to be attacked, having to defend myself, and forcing me to spend a weekend in jail!	”
Chris's justification for his actions.

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26 December 2014 was a truly notorious day in Chris's life, and his most action-packed since he graduated high school. Essentially 28 October 2011 all over again, Chris was in trouble with the law once more for assaulting staff at a video game store, this time with pepper spray. The attack was the culmination of his months-long crusade to change the arm color of a cartoon hedgehog. On 15 October 2015 he was finally found guilty of a misdemeanor charge, and received a six-month suspended sentence and a $541.00 fine.

Synopsis

The now infamous photo of Chris, seconds before the assault.

By the time of his arrest, Chris had already been engaging in various acts of protest, mainly vandalism, in an attempt to force merchants to stop selling Sonic Boom. As a result, he had already been banned from every GameStop within driving distance of his temporary home. Nevertheless, on the day after Christmas, on a trip to Charlottesville Fashion Square with his mother, Chris visited the GameStop outlet. While he claimed it was to purchase some Skylanders merchandise, it doesn't really matter what possessed him to go there; staff said they'd already caught him vandalizing Sonic Boom merchandise, and he was already banned from the store. Furthermore, knowing Chris's penchant for lying, committing further acts of vandalism might have been his real agenda that day. Whatever the truth, he entered the store wearing a pair of purple My Little Pony-branded sunglasses designed for little girls, apparently as a disguise. Naturally, he still stuck out like a sore thumb. After arguing with staff, he strode towards the store entrance, commanding the staff "Don't call anybody!" Just before he left, he brandished a pink can of pepper spray, and sprayed the assistant manager (or "Ass Manager," as Chris would later call him). The employee was later confirmed to be unharmed, although he did leave work after the incident.

Most of the information on what happened in the next hour comes exclusively from leaked, low-quality audio from a police scanner (below), and details are uncertain. With his duty at GameStop done, and the police on their way, Chris returned to his car and left the mall. At some point after arriving at the mall and checking JCPenney and Sears, police determined that Chris had left the building around half an hour ago. The police talked with Barbara, who was still at the mall, eating, which implies that Chris left his elderly mother behind, without a car to get home. Barb had little information to offer, except the make and color of Chris's car. Chris was arrested on the same day, at home.

On 28 December, a member of Kiwi Farms contacted Albemarle Regional Jail and confirmed that Chris was being held there, and was awaiting video court the next morning. A followup call from a 4chan troll revealed that the GameStop's assistant manager would be pressing charges. After his weekend in jail, Chris was charged with his Class 6 felony, posted the $2500 bail, and was released on recognizance.

monozettai's Account

Chris's mugshot. Note that killer pout, and lazy eye.

Expert recreation of Chris's first night in the pokey.

The internet learned of the above drama when a Tumblr user named monozettai uploaded an on-the-scene video (below).. In the short clip, Chris, clad in full tomgirl regalia, throws away any pity points he may have earned by macing a man who is clearly not threatening Chris in any way. It went on to gain almost 300,000 views, making it one of the most-viewed videos in the CWChronology. Chris did nothing to get the video taken down, perhaps being aware of the Streisand effect.

After the video was discovered by Christorians at large on 27 December, many weens flooded monozettai's inbox with questions on his recollection of the event. This is what he had to say:

I was in Gamestop looking at the 3ds rack when I heard a racket from my left. I looked up and saw Chris surrounded by 3-4 employees in a corner (I recognized Chris’ voice before their appearance). A woman was telling Chris that they had been banned from the store and needed to leave, to which Chris responded with something like “Oh come ON, can’t we let bygones be bygones?” The employees ignored him and continued to tell him to leave and threatened to call security. Eventually they dispersed to do so, which is about when I began filming (I had been wondering whether or not I should, but I’d say only about 20 or so seconds had gone by between when I noticed and when I started filming). After the video I heard the employees complaining about the use of pepper spray. I didn’t notice it when I initially filmed nor was I ever in the vicinity of the spray, so I can’t confirm anything, but as you can see Chris sprayed something at an employee in the video. I don’t remember seeing that employee around after that so I assume he left. Anyway, a woman buying a game at the counter asked the employee she had been interacting with what had just happened and the employee replied that Chris was “some guy that came in from time to time to mess with the Sonic Boom games because he was upset that Sonic’s arms had changed color,” or something to that effect. Sadly I did not check to see what happened to the Sonic Boom and only stayed for another 5 minutes or so before leaving, but nothing else of interest happened other than employees running back and forth from the counter to the back room, anxiously talking about contacting security and making sure “he” was gone.

Chris's Account

Oh, really?

“	I WAS the Victim	”
Chris, meeting everyone's expectations

Immediately after his release from the pokey, Chris rushed to his keyboard to perform damage control. Not surprisingly, he refused to admit any fault. Bizarrely, while he claimed ignorance to the effects of pepper spray, he also admitted that he had sprayed himself with the stuff several days before the incident. He also tried to blame the store employees for "intimidating" him, and Sega for changing Sonic's arm color in the first place. Unlike his previous run-in with the law, where he was at least smart enough to only mention the exact details in a personal e-mail to a close friend, Chris posted this to his Facebook page for all to see. Even his white knights condemned his actions. It seemed that this time around, everyone was against him.

Attention Everyone!!! To preface what has happened recently, I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!! If ‪#‎SEGA‬ had Never changed them, or reversed the change between February and November of this year in the new Sonic Boom video games AND Cartoon Series on Cartoon Network, as well as the Toys and whatever else, I would Never Have Had to Protest and Rebel the way I have, including the creation of my group, FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!! Within my groups, I have lead by example to push forward to the path of Waking SEGA Up and Forcing Them to Change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately. And to confess, I HAVE DONE MY PART FOR REAL! I had personally gone into three of the four local GameStops (EXCLUDING the Fashion Square one) THREE TIMES to Personally Protest in my Silent Way. First Attack: I printed, as seen on the Facebook Group, the Fronts of the Sonic Boom Game Inserts, affixed double-sided tape onto the backs, and affixed them onto the fronts of their respective display game boxes on the shelves. Second Attack, about a week later: I checked the success of my first attack: damaged a few original inserts pretty well to full removal. And of what were still there, I made attempts to transfer the inserts from the original cases into Behind the inserts of different games. I've had to briefly explain my reasons and the Protest, and told them that they should NOT BE SELLING THE BLUE_ARM_BANDIT GAMES IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND THAT THEY SHOULD SEND ALL OF THEIR REMAINING STOCK OF SONIC BOOM GAMES AND STUFF BACK TO SEGA, TO MAKE THEM CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! They did nothing. And one last week later, the Third and Final Attack, and the ONE and ONLY time that the Fashion Square Location had been involved as well. I made up and printed faux price tag decals, with the short note to discourage purchase of the Blue Arm Bandit games, and promote the Protesting Boycott. And with the Five Wii U software cases that each melted a bit from the MY House Fire Last January, as well as Five Smoke Damaged 3DS Game Cases (no melting), I had printed a full front, side and back insert with the boycott encouragements, and the notes on the back to make the stores send their remaining stock Back To SEGA! I Have ran into individuals giving me Bad Grief for my Protest and Actions, OUTSIDE from the Fashion Square Location, but I HAVE done my duty in full to the best of my abilities at the individual moments and circumstances. I also HAD Hidden ALL of the Blue Armed Sonic Toys at Toys R Us here, concealed hidden amongst their metal cupboards, so they ALL would NOT be SOLD, and Best Boycotted for The Protest! They remained hidden for the longest time of over a Month; found and reshelved near the 20th of December to my personal dismay and crestfall. And at Best Buy, ALL Copies of THEIR Sonic Boom Games are STILL SUCCESSFULLY CONCEALED AND HIDDEN from View AND Purchase! Anyhow, AFTER the Final Attack for the Protest, near a week later, on December 8, I had typed, signed, addressed and US Mailed apology letters, with the promise to have been done with my In Person Protest Deeds with No Further Action therein, to ALL but the Fashion Square GameStop, and I had sent one to Toys R Us as well. I had thought the FS GS would overlook the ONE attack of Protest on them, but obviously, I was mistaken. Which brings us up to now. Last Friday, the 26th, my mother and I were at the mall, getting pizza and spaghetti for lunch. She had informed me of a good Mini Refrigerator deal at Sears, so after eating, I made my way to check it out. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED AT SEARS, and I went NOWHERE NEAR JCPENNY that day. There was a good 3.1 Cubic Foot Fridge for $129.99 that caught my eye, but that is to be purchased later. On the way to Sears, I peeked into the GameStop, and I spotted a New Skylander Figure: Blastermind. I was set to buy it, and I was going to consider checking out their Wii U Preowned Software selection in their 3 for 2 deal. Innocent; I was NOT Looking for Trouble. But then this MALE Loomed out in front of me, frightened the crap out of me, and he said in a BOOMING VOICE that ONLY scared me worse, "YOU ARE BANNED FROM HERE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW." But still determined to continue my shopping, I veered into the Wii U direction, when his female accomplice startled me and boomed in as well. Still feeling frightened and mentally overloaded, I made a grab for my pepper spray to use In Defense. I offered a few Peaceful solutions, but she ended up sending him to go get security. So, I shouted, "Fine! I'm Leaving", and I dropped the figure. And on my way out, I told the MALE to Not Get Anyone, and we both stopped near simultaneous. I still felt my own worse from wear with the fear, startle, paranoia, and I did NOT want him following me and causing more trouble upon me. And then in my defense and to make my escape, I spritzed a miniscule amount of the pepper spray Downward; NOT into his face. And then I left. I did not learn until much later that the spritz had done a lot worse than I had imagined it would, as well as learning that they were the so-called "Manager" and "Ass Manager" of that particular store. I had No Idea of the contents of the Pepper Spray, OR that it was Illegal for use in certain situations in the state of Virginia at all. And, I HAD tried the stuff on myself days before in the upstairs bathroom. A Two Second Spray onto my left wrist, some of it got onto the bath tub wall as well. Like sampling a perfume or deodorant. It Took Me Out damn well. I had to open the windows, turn on the bathroom fan AND aim the box fan into the bathroom to air the place out, and I wiped the wall off as well, and OF COURSE I washed my hands. It took fifteen to thirty minutes to make it bearable in there again. In the end, Yes, I went along peacefully when the "Police" arrived to collect me, and I had to spend a miserable weekend in Jail. And I just got out on a bond and bail; yada, yada, yada. In the END, I WAS the Victim; I did not cause the original provoking; The "Assistant Manager" Made the First Attack ONTO ME and Provoked my defensive response. I was Minding My Own Business; NOT Looking for Trouble, and then HE Startled Me, similar to a potential Rapist in a Dark Alley in a big city. ANY of you would have done the same as I Have in Defense AND Escape! And we can SUE SEGA for Changing Sonic's Arm Colour and Ultimately, this MALE getting Pepper Sprayed! Think About It Seriously! And my Protest Actions are NOT acts of "Vandalism", regardless of your individual perceptions. It was NOT Vandalism, but Good Protest when in around 2004, At Fashion Square, I tried their NEW Soda machines with a credit-debit card slot, and then I learned of the FIVE DOLLAR SURCHARGE that brought my bank account into the Freaking Red! I subtly Posted Sticky Note Signs onto each machine shortly after, "This Machine Charges You Five Dollars per Card Use". A few days later, the Original Machines returned! Nobody gave ME Any Freaking Grief or Complaints at all about that! AND if you REALLY want to see the Whole Mess Happen, go find the Security Tape of the time of Point A, my finding Blastermind to Point B of my departure from the store. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a LOT of much required Packing to Take Care Of. Good Day.

The Charges

Chris' charges

This was the case against Chris, according to the Albermarle General District Court.

CHARGE: DANGEROUS GAS UNLAWFUL RELEASE (§ 18.2-312. Illegal use of tear gas, phosgene and other gases.) "If any person maliciously release or cause or procure to be released in any private home, place of business or place of public gathering any tear gas, mustard gas, phosgene gas or other noxious or nauseating gases or mixtures of chemicals designed to, and capable of, producing vile or injurious or nauseating odors or gases, and bodily injury results to any person from such gas or odor, the offending person shall be guilty of a Class 3 felony. "If such act be done unlawfully, but not maliciously, the offending person shall be guilty of a Class 6 felony."

For a Class 6 felony conviction, Virginia sentencing guidelines recommend 1-5 years in prison and a fine of up to $2,500, in addition to all the other corresponding losses he'd experience as a registered felon.

The 6th Degree version under the Virginia tear gas law is for cases in which the tear gassing was done "unlawfully, but not maliciously." Chris was fortunate to avoid the Class 3 felony version of the charge, which deals with malicious intent, and carries a much stiffer penalty of 5-20 years and up to a $100,000 fine. The law allowed Chris to plea down to misdemeanor-level assault and battery and be given a suspended sentence, with probation, counseling, anger management and/or community service in lieu of jail time. Ultimately, this is essentially how it turned out.

Having squandered Bob's inheritance on hiring Rob Bell after the 28 October 2011 incident, Chris was forced this time around to work with a public defender.

Chris Returns to the Front

On 3 January 2015, an e-mail leaked onto Kiwi Farms exposed that Chris had behaved in a bellicose manner at Wal-Mart on that date, and threatened to use his mace. This was soon afterwards confirmed by Chris himself, who indicated that he wielded the pepper spray because it made him feel like a "badass." This statement worried many onlookers, as it suggests Chris perceived himself as invincible so long as he could issue credible threats. Was it possible that Chris's notion of his own infallibility and invulnerability, previously confined to the comics, had seeped into his conscious psyche?

On 11 January, Chris posted the following to his Facebook account, once again painting himself as the victim and wishing that people would like him, despite his past actions. He argued that nobody should be banned from a store unless they are carrying a gun. The post also addresses the completely unrelated issue regarding Chris's sexual identity.

Just Listen; Do Not Comment or Respond; I am being Very Serious. I Really Wish People would Positively Like Me. I can not make people like me, and if they dislike me, for their own individual reasons beyond my own comprehension. I can not change their minds. But, to my utmost dismay and sadness, should I be threatened, or be made to feel threatened, I Will defend myself to force some respect from them. All I would ever want is a good day and some peace of my own mind; I do not intend, nor have ever intended, unprovoked, to offend anyone. And if my good day is turned bad, because of me feeling threatened by anyone, and then I feel those individuals immediately deserve to have a bad day themselves (and continue living on from there), then it is Their Fault for pushing me into the defensive position in the first place. It really does make me feel sad and most disappointed of the other people when they give me such grief to the point that I have to be put into a position to force some respect out of them. And I have been growing more paranoid of Other People since November of 2007 with the damn bad people over the internet, as well as those I have had the displeasure to have encountered in person who have shown me nothing but a difficult time and even more grief. Also, I sincerely believe nothing would ever be gained from killing anyone, including myself; all that does is forces one or the other into their next realm or life; Nobody really Learns or really Benefits anything from the deaths of any person. That is why I would never own, or want to own, a real gun. "Look out, she's going for her mace!" "What? Would you rather I have a gun with bullets in it?" And that is another thing everyone Should be Aware of: I AM A FEMALE SOUL, and I Prefer to be referred to by the Female Pronouns. Any address of "Sir", or "Man" upon me, will only be met by a cold shoulder or stare in their general direction. And NOBODY should ever be BANNED from a high-volume store like Wal-Mart or Target for anything less offensive than a gun withdrawl or robbery. We All Have Bad Days, and unless we actually Hit a Person or living individual or similar actions, in how we individually react to how we are feeling at the ONE Moment, aside from the other Individual Moments, To Ban an individual is just plain wrong. And acts of protests with JUST Meanings, do not deserve any damn grief either. Just Let Me Live On In Peace, Let Me enjoy my Good Day and Pleasant Shoppings and Outings, and DO NOT BOTHER ME AT ALL. I have No Intention Whatsoever to harm Any Individual Person or Myself. So, Please, Do Not Give Me Reason to be Forced to Defend Myself to garner any respect. All that does is give us all a Bad Day from a Good One. Good Day.

Subsequent court hearings

Chris's hearing schedule.

Chris had seven hearings related to this case, stretching into the autumn of 2015, before finally receiving a conviction. His fans were frustrated at the slow pace of justice.

29 December Hearing

At the video hearing on 29 December (which only consisted of the judge setting bail/bond conditions and a date for the next hearing), Chris was released on bond. The following month he revealed in a Facebook post that, in yet another development mirroring 28 October 2011, the judge had placed a restraining order on Chris as part of his bail conditions, forbidding him from setting foot in any GameStop outlet or contacting any of the company's employees.

5 February Hearing

Chris and Barb leaving the courthouse after their 5 February hearing.

His next hearing took place on 5 February. It was decidedly brief, as the Chandlers appeared to been assigned an unsuitable representative, and another hearing in April was scheduled. According to two Virginian Christorians in attendance, little of note happened except Chris and Barb forgetting the date of the next hearing and thereby pissing off the court by holding up the next case. Footage was taken of Chris and Barb leaving court, the first appearance Barb has made in Christorical media for almost two years.

Zeonista's account:

I sat in the back of the courtroom, since I was trying really hard to be inconspicuous, but as a result of that it was hard for me to hear much of anything. I can't give you much in the way of specific dialogue... Rammspieler (at least, the person I believe was him) had a better vantage point, so expect more from him there. Anyway, Chris WAS wearing women's clothes, but didn't look like as much of a disaster as usual. He was wearing a black cardigan and long dark-blue skirt with white stripes, along with dark-blue leggings and a pair of tan boots. His hair still looked pretty terrible, pretty much the same as it was in his mugshot. Barb was with him, wearing what looked like a red wool coat. Chris looked pretty nervous while he was waiting for things to get started. He was fidgeting a lot and kept leaning over to ask her questions. I'm pretty sure I heard him ask "Do you think we should tell them about our troll problems?" once, which made me smile inside. They called Chris up pretty quickly - his case was one of the first ones to go through. Naturally, even though there were 2 or 3 female PDs in the courtroom, Chris got the one BRUTE MALE of the lot. He was summoned as "Mr. Chandler," which I doubt he liked much. I heard the PD make a brief comment about Chris' appearance, but didn't hear exactly what was said. The PD, Chris, and the judge spoke with each other for about 2 minutes, and eventually the ruling was for a continuation on April 2nd. The two of them left the courtroom, only to come back in about a minute or two later, with Chris chiding his mother. "What were you thinking, Barbara Ann?" I guess Barb had already forgotten the date of the next hearing, or maybe she thought they needed to come back later in the day for something. Anyway, she and Chris spoke to the PD for another minute or two. I heard the PD say this to them: "I said you're free to go... Yes, it's April 2nd. April 2nd, I can write that down for you if you want." He looked just a little annoyed, because even this short exchange was enough to hold things up. Chris and Barb were blocking the middle of the courtroom while this was happening, and the judge had to ask them to move out of the way so the next guy up could get through. The two of them left a little while later. All Chris had to say on his way out was "Welp," accompanied by a stress sigh.

Rammspieler's write-up:

Despite the continuance of the case until April 2nd, I'm glad to have been there and have been in the presence of Manbaby and Barb themselves. I wish I was a better videographer/photographer and had taken better shots of them, all I got was a video of them leaving court as well as a video of 14 BC. I'm also glad that Zeonista posted and filled in for the details I wasn't able to pick up on. But the truth is that it was a very "active" courtroom and everybody was moving around and whispering to each other, so it is possible that I may have misheard some things. Anyway, I got there like at 8:50 and after taking off my fucking studded belt and fishing keys out of my pocket to pass the metal detector, I finally sat myself down in the courtroom. But still no sign of Chris. In fact, I was almost expecting him to be a no show. I started jotting down my notes and everything, when I look up, wondering of he wasn't coming, when I hear close to me a VERY FAMILIAR VOICE. I look to my right, and sitting in the bench in front of meat the very end of it, I saw him. My face just lit up and I knew right then and there that the trip was worth it. This is the closest thing I'll ever experience to having met a movie star is basically my sentiment. And right in front of me was a woman whom at first I thought was either his attorney or even Rocky Shoemaker. I was wondering whom she was for the longest until, his PD showed up and asked to speak with her son. So confirmed Snorlax. Also, he didn't seem to be too pleased with the PD referring to him as male. I can confirm what Zeonista saw and heard and indeed he was in full tomgirl attire. Ridiculous blue eyeshadow and all. Barb's red overcoat was covered in animal fur so I guess they must have pets. I can also confirm his constant sighing and nervousness. He couldn't stop shaking his leg. He also bore the same expression that he was wearing for his mugshot. He was obviously Stressed and displeased! There was even a moment when he kinda turned around and looked at me with what seemed to be suspicion. Was I that obvious? The guy with the faux vintage Star Wars Episode IV Hong Kong movie poster shirt and the notepad, writing down everything? Like I said, it was a relatively noisy courtroom, so I couldn't catch the gist of most of the whispering. But I did catch him asking Barb that the PD and the judge should be made aware of the "troll problem". Like Zeonista, I couldn't help but smile. But he then went on in what seemed to be a rant about misogyny and misogynists. I guess he was hoping that the MALE judge wouldn't be such. What really called my attention was the way they carried on. If you didn't know they were mother and son, you could swear that they looked like a really creepy Cougar/Cub romantic relationship. The way they held each others backs, to him telling her "I love you". I was also able to notice that he was wearing a graduation ring. I guess from his high school? I couldn't make out the letters, but the stone was purple. He then said something about hoping that "he wasn't a chicken" and Barb replied that "he" won't be. I guess they were talking about the lawyer. Speaking of... The PD was this handsome, lean dude in his mid to late 20's. Had curly hair and a trimmed beard. If you took off his suit and left his glasses on, he would make a great hipster at some microbrewery. The reason why I at first assumed that they hired him was because I noticed in Chris' Lego notebook a business card with a written phone number and the name of what looked to be "Max Rippoli" I knew it was Italian and the judge did utter a similar surname when telling Chris that said person couldn't defend him. The first name was definitely "Max" though. Barb's advice for Chris when in the Stand was to stand up straight and smile. Anyway, once the judge granted the continuance, I took that as my cue to leave and stand by to take visuals. So while I was outside, turning my phone on and trying to get the camera to work was when Zeonista witnessed what took place after I left and before they left.

Chris and Barb coming out of court
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Stardate	5 February 2015
Subject Matter	Other Sonic Boom Protests

2 April Hearing

Chris entering court on April 2.

Chris began to attend his hearings alone, and reportedly seemed more nervous than in the last hearing. It began 20 minutes early and was over within minutes. In fact Chris left the courtroom before Christorians made it through security, so no one knows what, if anything, actually happened inside. What is known is that Chris was granted another continuance, and the next hearing was scheduled for 7 May. The account from forum member lipitor:

We got down here took some pics of Christorical locations, those will come later. So we're heading to the courthouse and decide to stop at mcdonalds on the way (not the ruckersville one across from walmart), because it was on 29 toward c-ville. As we pull in we see a blue ford focus with the license plate "Sonichu". Brand new-ish too. Probably nicer than my car. It totally looked more like a decepticon than an autobot just for the record. My bud decides well, guess im going in for coffee. I stayed in the car. I'll let him tell you what he saw in there. I was sitting in the car when he came out. He was wearing those stupid my little pony sunglasses carrying two cups of coffee. He had a black cardigan thing on I think, but what was more noticable was his striped dress, it looked like someone stole the curtains from a freshman girl's dorm room and sewed it together haphazardly. It gave him noticable trouble when walking. He was wearing some type of lace up boots that were sort of high heels but not really, probably didnt help with the walking. He didn't seem to realize that in a dress his gait couldnt stride as wide and kept almost falling over and stumbling when his feet landed. Barb was strangely absent. He fucked around his car and went for the trunk. He pulled out one of those things for wiping your windshield, looked stolen from a gas station. I dont think he did anything with it just took it out and fumbled with it, put it back. HeyyyJackiepie came out just as he was getting back in his car. We tried to lose him, but ended up taking turns following each other. Chris swerved out of the way of a crow in the street without looking into another lane. We just drove up to the crow like normal people and it flew away last minute, like they always do. We tried to lose him continually or at least tried to trail or get ahead of him but we were like right next to each other the same time. We took a wrong turn and lost him. We found a spot where you are actually allowed to park near the courthouse. (see Heyyyjackiepie's comment if you want to get that joke). He parked in nearly the same spot he did last time. He just sat there in his car, seemed like he was playing a game on his phone or some shit. He sat in there for nearly 30 minutes. We wanted to go in after him so we just waited in front of the door. From behind me I hear a string of like 9 stress sighs in a row. I turn around to see him. He had removed the MLP glasses and wore his normal ones now. Could see he was wearing nearly the same tights he did last time. We gave it a minute so he could go in and sit down. We go in there and he's just standing there at the metal detector. He had so much fucking jewelry to remove. like bracelets and necklaces it took forever for him to get them off. The clerk at the metal detector rolled his eyes at him while he was doing it. After he got done he just sat down in a chair in front of the court room but not in it. He was stress sighing and looking around nervously. God he really does stress sigh a lot. With great self discipline I was able to restrain my laughter. He looks more like a nerdy kid than woman or tranny up close. He looks like a teenager whose trying out an outlandish style for attention, but not totally confident in it or aware of what style is. Anyway he finally fucking got up and went in and we went throught the metal detectors. By the time we got through I had just opened the court room door, he was coming back out and we almost bumped into each other. He said apologetically "well, got that out of the way quick" and dashed out the door to the courtroom. This was like 30 minutes before his hearing so we didnt know what to make of that. He had noticed us so we didn't know if he was trying to dodge us or what. So we just sat down and boring court stuff happened for like 10 or so minutes. We ended up leaving cuz it was clear he wasnt coming back. We saw he was still in his car. We walked around the building once and he was gone. We went back in to see if anything would be said about him, but they said nothing. Must have been a continuance. Chris is definitely not gonna have an outburst though guys. He's super nervous, maybe thats just cuz barb wasnt there I don't know.

The skinny according to heyyyJackiePie:

Girls and boys, and dudes of all teenages, This is my account of what happened today. First thing’s first: Chris was granted a continuance according to the Charlottesville General District Court website. We were unable to confirm what happened when we were there, but we will explain. But, although we didn’t actually observe Chris being called up in Court in front of the judge, we had multiple sightings of Chris and some pictures and a video which will be upload this evening. This is really long and contains several details, but I’d rather tell you guys everything that happened. The day started out with a visit to the Ruckersville McDonalds where we captured some pictures of the nearby Wal-Mart, and Burger King – yes, the one Bob had breakfast at every day. We have plenty of pictures and videos with multiple angles and went inside for a coffee. It’s a small McDonalds and quite modern. There were a group of old men gathered around talking which seemed to be a regular meet up. I wonder if Bob had a similar group of friends at Burger King? We continued down 29 and stopped by 14 Branchland and took multiple pictures from multiple angles. The house no longer has that red front like it used to so it wasn’t what I expected. In the “driveway” Barb’s Z-3 had a tarp half way over it implying it’s not regularly (read: ever) used. There was also the blue van too. But no blue Ford Focus. Chris was not there. The yard is what you would expect: disgusting and unkempt. We got some pictures of Patti’s doghouse with some writing on it “Patti Chandler rests here” or something. We drove by so many times doing drive by photography that we started to get paranoid and just got the hell out of there. We have plenty and plenty of pictures we will upload. Being that Chris was not there and it was about 8am, this means that Chris could only be at one place… McDonalds. Although he regularly frequents the Ruckersville McDonalds, it is not on the way to Charlottesville so I speculated there was a 50/50 chance he was at the McDonalds about 5-7 minutes farther down 29 on the way to Charlottesville. We went past it and decided to U-turn to check it out really quickly. We saw a blue car and got excited, but we knew it would be too good to be true. There was a line of cars going through the drive-through blocking it from plain view, but we slowly pulled in to the McDonalds parking lot with a lot of excitement. We knew the only way to confirm was to see the license plate. As we slowly pulled up near his car, we saw “SONICHU” on his license plate and we both shouted like teenage girls as if One Direction just came out on stage. My heart was racing. This was it. This is it. This is not a drill. This will be something that comes up throughout this post, but we were super paranoid at this point and unsure whether to go in. What if he saw us? What if he was suspicious? I didn’t come this far to pussy out so I went in. I quickly identified him and immediately veered right into the bathroom. I pissed out all the coffee I drank up til then and mentally prepared myself. I am not exaggerating but I was feeling several emotions at once… excitement, thrill, paranoia, anxiety. I waited in line to order a coffee… the line was very long and I was hoping, hoping he wouldn’t leave. I finally got a coffee and sat directly behind him. He was alone, but had two drinks, so I suspected Barb was in the bathroom pooping. His hair was long and gangly and he looked similar to his current Facebook profile picture. He wore these multi-colored grotty tennis shoes and a long skirt. I don’t know women’s fashion, but it was like a skirt that went down to his shins. It was definitely a female thing and had these weird multi colors. It was obviously bought at the thift store. He also wore a black atlhletic-like jacket which seemed somewhat normal. I noticed he had blueish eyeliner or mascara that was clumsily applied. He was filling out a crossword puzzle in the newspaper and was quiet. There were tons of people in the McDonalds, but I still sneaked a picture of him from the back. It would have been impossible to take a picture from the front and I didn’t want to blow our cover before the hearing. After 7 minutes or so, he stress sighed as he got up. YES! I heard a stress sigh! I felt so happy inside. It sounded just like all his videos. I tried to get some video of him as I walked out to my car so I put my phone in my pocket and hit record to film a video with the camera lens sticking out. Unfortunately my phone slid into my pocket though so didn’t get anything L. What happened next made us paranoid as hell again. On the way to the courthouse, it was like there was nothing we could do to not be directly behind him. We waited about 3 minutes after he left McDonalds and of course ended up directly behind him at the first traffic light. Just with the flow of traffic, we literally followed him to the courthouse and got some more video. We finally got to the courthouse and positioned ourselves basically where the guy who did the youtube video of him exiting the courthouse was standing. Chris stayed in his car for… it must have been twenty minutes. So we looked like the biggest bunch of suspicious dumbasses waiting around the front area while he was in his car. He couldn’t see us directly though. As time went on, we became so fucking paranoid that we thought Chris might have called the police of 911. The thinking was if he called 911 to report shovel mech, he definitely would have done it if he was suspicious of two MALES. So we started to walk away. Lipitor finally talked some sense into me. But right as we started walking, he started approaching the courthouse! I whipped out my phone pretending to be on a phone call while recording. I will upload it later and it’s not great, but there are a few moments where you can clearly see what he was wearing and him walking in. We also heard the loudest fucking stress sigh ever made. We were seriously like 30 yards away and heard this and started laughing. We walked in to the courthouse a few minutes later and FUCK MY LIFE he is going through security right in front of us. He was literally a few feet away from us. We panicked and went to the bathroom. After another coffee piss, I saw he was sitting on a bench right in front of the door to go into the courtroom which is immediately after you get through security. There was no way we were going near him at this point. So we waited another 3-4 minutes in the lounge area. We finally went through security when we noticed he wasn’t on the bench. After we get through security, the courtroom door flung open and he came out!… FUCK MY LIFE AGAIN. He walked right by us AGAIN. As we opened the courtroom door, he said to the jerkop at the metal detector “Well, got that over with quickly” and left. WTF. It’s 9:10am and his hearing was at 9:30. We waited in the courtroom for a few minutes, but decided to leave as we were completely confused. His car was still outside so we thought maybe he would come back in around 9:30am. We went back to the courtroom decided to wait. I know this sounds like a stupid move, but there were so many people coming in and out that no one paid attention and the courtroom was really noisy It was honestly like people coming in and out of a Starbucks. We listened to a few people go up, but it was impossible to tell what was happening and you couldn’t even hear their names despite being in the front row. We finally left at 9:45am and his car was still outside. We circled the block to get a better view while staying out of sight, but his car was gone when we got back. I noticed he parked in a spot with a sign the read “Parking for Judges Only”. Clear as fucking day. Entitled cunt. For the rest of the day, we’re going to hit all the major stops and get some photos. We’re also going to upload a photo to prove we’re not making this up.

• 

  Chris in the McDonald's parking lot before the hearing.

• 

  Chris at McDonald's.

• 

  Home sweet home.

Chris Chan Hearing (4-2-15)
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Stardate	2 April 2015
Subject Matter	Other Sonic Boom Protests

7 May Hearing

True to this prediction, this hearing resulted in another continuance, until 11 June. It lasted longer than the previous one. Chris was again spied at McDonalds before the hearing. Forum member lipitor's account:

Maybe you've seen the picture maybe you haven't but Chris's court room outfit was absolutely ridiculous. It was a girl scout green/teal color and cut worn over a white t-shirt. The cut was just above the knees. Christian wore dirty old sneakers with old gym socks with this. He also had a matching hat that was the same color as his dress. It looked like something an old lady would wear to church. You could tell by his face that he thought he looked cute as shit while wearing that hat, but he looked like a fucking moron. He didn't wear it inside the courthouse, even though women are allowed to wear hats inside. The inside the courthouse is sort of set up like an old catholic church with pew seating. Christian sat near the front with his back to the side wall so he could scope everyone in there out. Saw him lock eyes on some dude and pull his phone out and text someone (more on who later). You're not allowed to have phones with cameras so he had a flip phone with him. It took fucking hours for them to finally get to his case. When they finally did he got very nervous. They kept calling him by both male and female pronouns at different times. They called him Chris/Christian/Christine and a couple of times Crystal (I know Crystal is his daughter, but apparently the judge accidentally called him that a few times, and I was in no position to correct the man). Christian didn't seemed phased by any of this and went with whatever name/pronoun used at the time. They talked forever and it was mostly just establishing what happened and what the charge was. So it was hard to hear, so the next part is a bit speculative. It sounded like the reason for the continuance was because they wanted Christian to see a shrink/counselor/whatever so they could do a mental health plea. They wanted him to go like right after court too. He seemed to agree to this at the time. Like I said I couldn't hear the exact details of what was going on so it might be a bit different. Feel free to sperg out over what all that means. Here's the best part. On the way out my field agent was confronted by some lady. She asked the field agent what they were doing there and what their name was. She said she was a reporter. My field agent was like "yeah I'm not telling you that". She shifted tone and said she just wanted to buy my field agent a cup of coffee and hear his story...:stupid: She wanted to know why a community of people on the internet literally document everything in his life. An interview was declined...

11 June Hearing

This hearing was also quickly continued, until 23 July. The Christorian in attendance described Chris as uncharacteristically sociable and collected, perhaps because his forays in the Impulse Gay Social Club have made him more comfortable around people. The account:

I attended the court hearing this morning.... Chris's hearing was to begin at 9:30. The courthouse opened for business at 9:00. I got there at 9:05, sat down, and realized Chris was already in the room, sitting across from me. Let me proffer the opinion that Chris passes as a woman. An ugly, frowsy, dumpy, old-fashioned, middle-aged woman to be sure, but there are many women like this, so therefore Chris passes. In a public setting like the courtroom, where you don't give people a close inspection, there would be no reason not to assume that the lump sitting over there was a woman. The five 0'clock shadow is easily visible from a distance, which would be your first clue that something was unusual. He was wearing an aqua blue outfit with matching eyeshadow. Blue sweater, blue collared blouse with vertical stripes, blue skirt with vertical stripes, dark stockings. Everything matched well except for his grotty sneakers, which are blue but the wrong shade. He shouldn't have been wearing sneakers anyhow with this outfit. He had his typical ugly dark nail polish, two rings on his right hand, and some kind of multicolored bracelet on his left wrist. He had a headband, and his hair looked the way it has in all his recent photos. He wore his glasses. He had his black purse with all the jangly shit hanging off it. He was reading something; I couldn't tell what it was at first, but when he stood up it turned out to be the issue of Vanity Fair with Ms. Caitlyn Jenner on the cover. He uses his index finger to help him read. Chris has a weird body type. He's pudgy, but his forearms and ankles are really skinny, so the weight gathers in the center of his body. He looks kind of like Mr. Peanut. His breasts are as small as ever and there was zero evidence of gainz. When I first arrived there was a middle-aged woman sitting next to him. I assumed she was his public defender, but as soon as the judge arrived (at the same time I did), she went up to speak with the judge and left the room. Before she left, Chris said to her, "I'm Christine, by the way." The woman introduced herself to Chris and said goodbye. So Chris had apparently initiated smalltalk. A few minutes later Chris did a little handwave to a female lawyer who walked in, who returned the wave. He seemed to be checking out every woman who entered the courtroom. The judge stuck around for just a few minutes and left again. A cop went around the room to ask everyone, "Are you set for 9:30?" When she asked Chris, he said, "Huh?" She repeated the question, and Chris said, "Um, yeah, I believe so." The courtroom is small and as other field agents have mentioned, the mood is relaxed and casual, or as much as it can be with seven jerkops hanging around and three guys in the front row with manacled ankles and wrists. The judge is a black woman. She handled one case regarding probation violation before 9:30, which was done very casually and informally, while the other lawyerfolk had quiet chats and shot the breeze with the sheriffs. For the most part everyone just sat around. The main reason why I made the last-minute decision to attend was that he's been enraged about the new blarms game, and I was hoping he'd show up with a sign demanding justice for transsexuals or something equally dramatic. Chris's mood was entirely the opposite. He was self-contained, calm, and collected. He was not angry, stressed, or nervous. He was not fidgety. It was very hard to believe that this was the person who just the day before had expressed a public wish to beat up Sega executives. He sat and read his magazine. At one point something he was reading caught his interest and he said "Hm!" suddenly, causing the woman sitting next to him (a different one) to turn her head to look at him. He seemed somewhat bored. He yawned twice, loudly, putting his hand over his mouth, which struck me as rather self-indulgent and overly dramatic. Around 9:40, after a couple quiet cases, they called "Christian Chandler." At this point the lawyer who had defended the probation violator walked over to Chris and escorted him to the front, revealing himself as the public defender. He is young, skinny, bearded, wore tweed. He seems like a good guy, pretty relaxed. He looks like he knows his way around a college debate tournament. Right then three lawyers decided to sit down right in front of me and hold a conference, making it difficult to hear what was said. It was apparent that the first words out of the judge's mouth was that there was a continuance. Chris asked a question. The judge said it would be dealt with at the next hearing, and that he should stay in touch with his lawyer. She and the lawyer wore big patronizing smiles. They treated him like a sensitive child. Their attitude was, "Everyone is your friend, no one wants to attack you." In the previous probation case, the judge was serious and all business, because she was speaking with an adult. Here, even though macing someone is also pretty serious business, she knew she was dealing with a special individual and it was pointless to deal with him normally. So Chris has basically already won over the judge. I predict that, for better or worse, he will receive psychological treatment and very little punishment. Chris's attorney walked him out of the courtroom, and I followed them out. They hung out on the front porch for about a minute to cover some issues. He told Chris that for the next hearing, "Be a little early like you were today." Another lawyer, a pretty young woman, joined them, and she was also all smiles. Chris complimented her clothing, and she replied, "I like your color too." Then Chris walked the 100 feet to the curb, and I realized that Son-Chu was sitting right there, shiny and new and as blue as Sonic's arms. Since there was some controversy earlier, let me clarify that Chris is not parking illegally. The handicapped spot is adjacent to the judge's spot, and the sign is clearly marked. Chris is legally allowed to park in the handicapped spot because of his atismu. I had to pay five bucks to park in a garage two blocks away. He sat in his car for about a minute, and then drove off. For me the most remarkable thing was how much progress Chris has made in getting over his social anxiety. He was very eager to initiate contact with any pretty woman he saw. I think it's something he should be proud of--he's not the same guy who had to post a sign on the wall because of his noviophobia. This is actually a proven method for overcoming social anxiety--the more experience you have in talking to strangers, the easier it becomes. Of course, none of this will help him find a sweetheart, because while Chris is friendly, he's also immediately off-putting. He's instantly recognizable as a weirdo.

23 July Hearing

Another continuance, until 15 October, although the Christorian in attendance noted something was said about going to a therapist. Aside from this, he noted that Chris farted very loudly in the middle of court, accompanied by that signature sigh. Unlike the three previous hearings which Chris attended alone, Barb and a middle-aged woman thought to be Rocky were also there. The Christorian was also harassed by an unidentified young woman in red who tried to prevent him from filming Chris and Barb outside (where he had every right to do so) and asked about his behavior.

The Christorian also revealed that he had been notified Chris thought he (the Christorian) had been arrested.

Chris Leaves Court 7/23/2015
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Stardate	23 July 2015
Subject Matter	Other Sonic Boom Protests

Chris' Latest White Knight
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Stardate	28 July 2015
Subject Matter	Other Sonic Boom Protests

15 October Hearing

The real deal - Chris was found guilty. As many had foreseen, however, he was let off lightly. The Class 6 felony charge of "Dangerous Gas Unlawful Release" was amended to a charge of "Assault (Misdemeanor)." He was fined $541 and received a suspended sentence of 180 days, a sentence he'll only have to serve if he runs afoul of the law during his probation period. The terms of his probation are not clear. Chris sighed profusely as terms were discussed. Barb showed up this time. The field report from Marvin:

Barb's aging. Thin, kind of frail. Might not be very responsive. In retrospect, I don't think Chris recognized anyone. There was the guy he exchanged words with, but going over my notes, it might've been just him being paranoid of someone. There was an old lady behind Chris talking to him a few times. I don't think it was Rocky. Chris' outfit, from what I could see, was very funny. @Rammspieler might have a picture. Barb and Chris are way too physically intimate. It's one thing to describe their creepy relationship, it's quite another to watch it IRL. They hold hands and Chris is always putting his arm around her and rubbing her shoulders sensually. That's shit I'd do to someone I'd want to bang. Not a family member. It's weird. There was some guy with white hair and a white suit talking to Not-Rocky. Then the PD came over and talked to Chris and Barb, with white-hair-guy and Not-Rocky in the row behind them. This is where I heard snippets referencing "six months" and something something something. I think I heard Chris stress sigh a few times and I think the PD got a little annoyed dealing with Chris. Not much, but I kinda sensed something like that. Maybe I imagined it. After a bit, the PD went up to the judge and they called Chris up. Chris starts getting impatient with Barb. He said something like "are your ears clogged up??" and then "wanna follow me so you can hear what's going on?" Then she got up and trundled up there to accompany Chris. This says a few things to me: Perhaps Barb's hearing is wearing down. This fits in with her being frail and old. Chris is being kind of bossy to Barb. Chris expects Barb to be his bookkeeper so far as his punishments go. This is confirming what we heard about at the Snyder trial. Now, I couldn't hear anything they were saying up front. At this point, I didn't want to get hassled by Not-Rocky or whoever else was there, so I bailed and went to find Rammspieler.

Final disposition of the case.

Field agent Rammspieler released a video of Chris and Barb leaving the courthouse after the hearing:

Chris Saved By His Autism
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Search for video	YouTube, archive
Stardate	15 October 2015
Subject Matter	Other Sonic Boom Protests

Gallery

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  The store in Fashion Square Mall, site of the incident.

• 

  Chris's violently insane version of the incident.

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  The defacement Chris intended to wreak.

Fan Art

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  Retail employees will now have Chris haunting their nightmares.

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  Chris after life on the inside.

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  Don't call anybody!

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  Fighting the law requires fashion!

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  Meanwhile at Chris's trial...

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  Chris after the trial...

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  Well Trolls, Have the lambs stopped screaming?

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  You may be the top Graduate from The FBI Academy, but he is the most twisted and cunning criminal the world has known.

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  Sonichu, I'm already a demon.

Miiverse Art

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Video

Chris Chan maces a GameStop employee
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Search for video	YouTube, archive
Stardate	27 December 2014
Subject Matter	Video games Video Games
Performance Style	Rage Rage, Violence Violence
Saga	Tomgirl Tomgirl, Sonic Boom Sonic Boom
Shirt	Manchester Sweatshirt
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
previous Brushfire Video	next Wii U - Mario Kart 8 - (GCN) Dry Dry Desert

Transcript

[A beep, most likely from the checkout machine, is heard as Chris walks near the camera. He blows a raspberry, presumably at monozettai, for a nanosecond as he passes the camera]

Chris: Don't call anybody!

[Chris struts confidently towards the store entrance. Unintelligible background noise from other customers can be heard, a family at the counter look shocked and confused by the bizarre creature passing them.]

Clerk: [to customer at register] 22.10 [laughs]

[Chris sprays James Herring, the store's assistant manager, with pepper spray, causing him to quickly back away. A woman, likely the store's manager from Chris's description, walks into view.]

Manager: That guy wants to buy 2... [trails off, realizing what just happened.]

James: Whoa! Hey! [mouths "what the fuck"]

Police Scanner Video

Police scanner
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Search for video	YouTube, archive
Stardate	27 December 2014
Subject Matter	Video games Video Games; Other Sonic Boom Protests

Transcript

This media needs a transcript. Help CWCki by transcribing the content. If the media is too long, transcribe select portions which are funny or informative.

[The entire audio is messy, grainy and hard to hear. If there are any inaccuracies in the audio, please feel free to help.]

0:00

Old cop: APC RP 5-7, APC--[mumbling]

Rookie: I'll cover it.

Cool cop: Stay there.

Old cop: He's at Fashion Square Mall. I'll get him. He's not in Shoppers World. I'm probably gonna pull up in the community and park the car. (CUTS OUT) and then...I'll go...check the car. He is described as a (sighs) white male, 5-foot 9, with long brown hair. He was wearing two sets of glasses and fake breasts. (Someone in the background says "what the hell?") The name is supposed to be "Christopher Chandler".

1:00

Rural cop: I'll go and do it. I'm on location.

?: Okay.

?: Doin' okay.

?: Thank you, Ethan.

?: No problem.

?: Uhh... I'll be looking for seven, I'll probably be in that ??? mall for a little bit. Three-nine can just run it.

?: Fine, Arthur. Three-nine, you got... Yeah. He can just route a call from our phone. Okay.

?: Uh, have you sent out that thing from here, ????? Thirty-nine can just draw it.

?: Uh, ???? and ?????

?: Roger.

2:00

(SILENCE)

2:26

Mike: ?????

Woman: Thank you, Mike.

2:32

(SILENCE)

3:23

?: Seven-six APC.

?: Copy, seven-six.

Rural cop: Someone here at the mall with Christopher Chandler. A long time here. Trespass. Banned from the mall.

?: ???? uh, you got ??????

4:00

Old cop: APC RP five-seven.

Rookie: Copy.

?: Uh, ?????

Rookie: That's correct.

Old cop: APC RP five-seven. (PAUSE) ????? seven-six

4:45

(SILENCE)

5:14

Ethan: ??? before seven APC

?: ?????

Ethan: Could I have the report number please?

?: Ethan, your number's 10725. Ten seven two five. (PAUSE) careful??????

Ethan: ???? three units.

?: Sir, can you get me the report number ????????

?: ?????, you have, uh, 10726. Ten seven two six.

6:09

(SILENCE)

7:00

?: APC ?????

Woman: ?????

Old cop: ????? car ??????????????? in the area ???? might have come from a house ????? I'll check the book????

Fan Videos

Dramatic Reading of Chris' Facebook Post Click to load content Stardate 29 December 2014 Made By BrendanielReads Subject Matter 26 December 2014 TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos	Chris Fought the Law Click to load content Stardate 30 December 2014 Made By FavoretFox Subject Matter 26 December 2014 Video Type Parody of The Crickets' "I Fought the Law" TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos
Tyrone Declares Chris Chan's Innocence Click to load content Stardate 17 January 2015 Made By Based Tyrone Subject Matter 26 December 2014 TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos	The Don't Call Anyone Experience Click to load content Stardate 2 April 2015 Made By C Chan Subject Matter 26 December 2014 TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos

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Don't Call Anyone-The Musical
Click to load content
Stardate	5 October 2015
Made By	/v/
Subject Matter	26 December 2014
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos

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South Park: Chris Chan maces a GameStop Employee
Click to load content
Stardate	18 November 2015
Made By	Lolwutburger
Subject Matter	26 December 2014
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos

See also

• Chris and the Law
• GameStop
• Jail calls
• Sonic Boom Protests
• 28 October 2011

References

⇐ Brushfire Video

Chris's videos

Wii U - Mario Kart 8 - (GCN) Dry Dry Desert ⇒