eBay
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YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK! The contents of this page have been bought with taxpayer money! |
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| “ | Opened package and was attacked by rabid raccoon. DO NOT TRUST THIS SELLER! | ” |
| Feedback from fallenfromgrace216 on Chris's eBay account | ||
eBay is an online auction site frequented by Chris since May 2001. He has often purchased and sold stuff there.
Chris as a buyer
Chris bought a number of My Little Pony action figures from the site. His many eBay purchases helped Chris accumulate a debt of $2,000 on his credit card.
During the Megan Saga, Megan often got Chris to buy her stuff — pictures of World War II Wehrmacht soldiers, anime CDs, Sailor Moon paraphernalia — from eBay, probably because she didn't have a credit card herself. In an email from 2007, Megan revealed the nature of the transactions, offering to repay Chris with "cash and or unneeded goodies",[1] though it seems in some cases Chris would buy things as gifts for her.
According to his feedback history as of 31 March 2010, he spent $12.97 on God of War III The Forgotten Warrior Skin Code for PS3 and $9.99 for a God of War III Apollo In Game Skin Code. On 1 September 2010, he spent $30 on a ModNation Racers Ratchet & Clank Mod. To put that in perspective, he could have bought the PSP version of ModNation Racers with that money, which he already did.[2] The Ratchet & Clank Mod was later released on the PSN for merely $2.[3] Most recently, however, Chris purchased a Lego Friends promotional display stand for $30.[2] Lego Friends is a series of Lego aimed at preteen girls, as evidenced by its general kiddiness and ease of assembly.
After being MIA on eBay for 2 years, he came back in late 2012 as a buyer. A new noteworthy feedback was the Skylanders Giants Wii Bundle Pack plus Bonus, which he sold for $165.
Immediately after listing and successfully selling various drawings (including the Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing) and multiple autographed photos in early July 2014, Chris bought several Lego minifig parts on eBay.[2]
In 2015, Chris has shown himself to be an avid consumer of Amiibo, which he buys from eBay scalpers at around $30 a pop. Chris seems to be going for a complete collection of Amiibo. In spite of the implied financial troubles that come with legal difficulties and having your home rebuilt from the Ground-Up, trolls noted that Chris bought a $30 Lego minifigure and hundreds of dollars in Lego sets; the typical spending spree for Chris ends in about $600 of tugboat being forked over to various eBayers in exchange for second-hand toys.
Chris as a seller
Early sales
Since late 2008, when the Chris-Chan phenomenon became more widely known, people used Chris's eBay account as a means to troll him. They would bid on his auction, not pay, and then leave lulzy negative feedback.
Early in 2009, Chris tried to stop this form of trolling by changing his eBay name to "jesusguidesme2", and deleting information from his account. It didn't work. The account went dormant in September 2010, but became active again around August 2012.
Around September 2009, Chris, in a rare display of monetary wisdom, sold two of his awful guitars. While not the autistic magnum opus we know as that Gitar of Fail, "Meatwad's Shredwad" shows off Chris's disregard for copyright and his fail art in one fell stroke. It's perfectly okay for Chris to sell his crappy fake Aqua Teen Hunger Force merch, but none of those slanderous trolls can do the exact same goddamn thing with Sonichu products. He also sold his Gibson model controller, which was covered in stickers. Someone purchased both controllers for a ridiculous $90.99, plus $6 for shipping.
He also sold a Bumblebee 2008 Concept Camaro claiming that it was unopened, which wasn't true.
In August 2008, Chris auctioned off a pink LeapFrog Leapster. and received $29.99 for it. The Leapster is a handheld "educational" video game system marketed to children ages 4-10. It was released in late 2003, which means that Chris was at least 21 when he bought it. He may have bought it because there was a Sonic X game available for the system. The game, which involves answering math problems to advance, is appropriate for 5-7 year olds.
On 18 September 2013, Chris returned to eBay and tried to sell the "kre-o micro changers Series 1, 12 piece set complete" collection for $65.
Bob's Straduarius Violin
In 2014 Chris used eBay extensively, not only to hock portions of the horde, but also to sell original artwork, which drew considerable attention from his fans.
The first hint of this uptick in activity was on 28 May, and involved Chris's effort to sell what he listed as a "Straduarius" violin which had belonged to his father. Chris stated that he and his mother desperately needed to sell this family heirloom for some quick cash, even though at the same time Chris was begging his Facebook friends for expensive LEGO sets.
Original Drawings
Main article: Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing
On 1 June 2014, Chris listed an Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing, with bids reaching over $10,000 in the first day of listing. Chris offered to frame the drawing and ship it in bubble wrap, but "ONLY when the art is Bought Now for the full price". The listing was taken down mysteriously the morning after, but then reappeared later that day. Over the span of eight days, Chris attempted to force this piece of "work" to be sold at an exuberant price, only for it to be taken down repeatedly, forcing eBay to temporarily ban him. He finally sold it for $200 on 1 July.
Over the next several months, Chris listed six more drawings of his Sonichu characters, managing to sell at least one.
Autographed Photos
- Main article: Autographed Photos
On 1 July 2014, Chris listed autographed photos of himself for sale, at a price of $20 each. Chris offered to write personalized messages in addition to his autograph, as long as the requests are "Not Offensive". In the eBay Q&A for the listing, he approved "All that is down is only the floor" as a message, and indicated that he may possibly wear the Sonichu medallion for an autographed photo. Indeed, a new photo of himself bedecked in the famous medal was soon on offer. Unfortunately, he stated that his red and blue "The Classic" rugby shirt was lost to the January 2014 house fire, so it would not be available for photos. By 24 July 2014, 58 photos had been sold. He offered more photos for sale in June 2015.
Commissions
- Main article: Commissions
Also on 1 July, Chris posted listings for commissioned drawings, in either black & white ($50), color ($100), or color with frame ($200). By the end of the year, at least 9 color drawings, 10 B&W drawings, and 2 framed drawings had been sold. Prices had also been reduced, and various sales and package deals had been offered.
Medallions
- Main article: Medallions
In September 2014, Chris began mass-producing his famed Sonichu medallions on eBay. These proved to be very popular, and many recipients posted their prizes on the CWCki Forums for the world to see. Over 200 had been sold by the summer of 2015. Chris occasionally offered free medallions with the purchase of commissioned drawings or original pieces. A dramatic twist involved his dispute with one "Mr. Smith," whose complaints won him a special "angry eyes" Sonichu medallion.
Jazz Marathon CDs
- Main article: WTJU Marathon
Chris takes a break
On 6 December, Chris announced that he would not be able to produce or sell his artwork until 1 January 2015, as he and his mother would be busy moving back into 14 Branchland Court after its renovation. But nothing happened on this day. Instead, about two weeks into the new year, Chris silently removed all his sale items from his account, making no mention of it on Facebook. Finally, on 2 February, he announced:
| 2 February 2015
Relisted: More Sonichu and Rosechu Medallions for satisfied Sonichu and Rosechu Fans. Please, help me get my Seller Status back up to Standard, so I can relist the commissions and photos again. Thank You. |
Of course, given that he was due to appear in court in three days, he was taking a big risk in guaranteeing that he could fulfill orders.
Sonichu Amiibo
- Main article: Sonichu Amiibo
In line with his demands to his quadrillions of adoring fans that they vote for Sonichu to appear in the upcoming Smash Bros. game, Chris expanded his merchandising endeavor and began to sell Sonichu Amiibo. Chris's customization process for the generic Sonichu Amiibo involves taking a new and functional Sonic Amiibo, breaking all the limbs off, reattaching them in a janky and unnatural pose with Krazy Glue, attaching Pikachu ears and tail, and slathering the whole thing in glossy paint to give it that "child's art project" look. So far, Amiibo of Sonichu, Blake, the Chaotic Combo, his family members, and himself in various points in time have been put on sale, as well as Amiibos of Mary Lee Walsh, Count Graduon, Silvana, Simonola, and Sonichu's children.
Bizarrely, while Chris seems to be sculpting the Pikachu ears for his custom Amiibos out of CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC, the tails seem to be taken from Pikachu Amiibo. As Chris could simply take the parts from any old Pikachu toy and likely save himself the money on both Pikachu Amiibo and Model Magic, trolls can only speculate on why he would choose to do it this way. Chris makes barely any return on these custom jobs--with Sonichu Amiibos selling at $41 each, Chris stands to make about $11 per Amiibo sold, losing almost his entire profit margin on P&P and eBay fees alone. Chris sold out the entire stock of his first run within hours of announcing their existence, which means he probably made about a hundred dollars, or, in Chris's terms, five Lego minifigs from some eBay scalper.
The verified Sonichu Amiibo purchases have, so far, arrived in less than pristine condition.
A Second Account
On 22 June 2015, Chris opened a second, concurrent eBay account, "pristinechristine1982." In his Facebook announcement, he explained that this was "to start fresh on my selling limits and all." It is not clear how eBay would feel about this tactic if they were aware of it. At any rate, he has bought items and sold autographed photos, medallions, and Amiibo through this account with no trouble yet.
The End for Real
On 2 September 2015, Chris posted on Facebook that he was moving from eBay to Etsy because it is "easier" and "better" than eBay. Whether or not he'll still use eBay is still unknown, but for now we can assume this is the end of Chris's 14-year tenure with the website.