Hello, Juffalo

"Hello, Juffalo" (or "Hello, Juffalo.MOV") is another video in which Chris fails at rapping life, performing "Juggalo Family" by Dark Lotus.

Chris tries hard to act like a Juggalo by painting his face like a clown and imitating stereotypes of gangster subculture. He is close to having no flow, spending majority of time either mumbling the lyrics or not even reciting them at all. He also gives a shout-out to "Juffalos" which is apparently a Juggalo term for superficial poseurs who don't understand the depth and complexity of clown-related rap music.

This is the second time Chris wore makeup, with the first time being shown in War Paint Video.

He dedicates this song to an unnamed Gal-Pal, whose influence likely explains the sudden influx of Chris-chan rap videos.

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Transcript

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Captain's Rockin' Log, fans, and we're rockin 'it out loud with Juffalo family for my gal pal.

And you want to know if I'll trade ten Juffalos for a hundred mainstream fans, and I said, "I wouldn't trade ten Juffalos for a hundred thousand mainstream fans; ten Juffalos is priceless." I got love for my homies, members of the Lotus. United we stand, squashing all deadly fo-ces. Been to Hell, could've spent an eternity there. All the bad shit I done, I should still be there. Juggalos can ya feel me, worldwide, running with the hatchet straight out of Lotus Pod? Always got th' end screaming Juggalos [indistinct, attempts to mumble lyrics] Juggalos, Dark Lotus. Psychopathic, that's the way you go. They keep me going when I'm down and out. I pick phone up, drop them a line and hear them shout saying, "[indistinct] is the shit," until I'm down in the ground! I give a shout to all my homies and killas who keep me started. All my Juggalos always representing when departed. [mumbling stops, shouting begins] Mass murder make me happy; dead bodies make me happy. Say what you will of me, I'll-always have a Juffalo family. Mass murder make me happy; dead bodies make me happy. Say what you will of me. Always have a Juffalo family. [he struggles to keep up with the lyrics while ICP music is playing in the backround]—still be baggy, I wouldn't be fat; I'd still be hungry and crabby. We used to buy our own records at the stores, so they would think was a hot seller, in other words. But we built a team of killers with the same dream, but we couldn't reach the top; we'd stay like Charlie Sheen. We finally realized we will always have the Juggalos. I'll never give another second to them other hoes!

Mass murder make me happy; dead bodies make me happy. Say what you will about me. Always have a Juffalo family. Mass murder make me happy; dead bodies make me happy. Say what you will of me. Always have a Juffalo family. Mass murder make me happy; dead bodies make me happy. Say what you will of me. Always have a juffalo family. Mass murder make me happy; say what you will of me. [indistinct] of me. I'll always have a Juffalo family.

[he makes retarded poses while slurring "Lotus, Lotus, Lotus, Lotus"]

And they wanted to know if I would trade ten Juggalos for a hundred mainstream fans, and I said, "I wouldn't trade ten Juggalos for a hundred thousand mainstream fans; ten Juggalos is priceless."

Mass murder make me happy; dead bodies make me happy. Say what you will of me. I'll-lways have a Juffalo family. Mass murder make me happy; dead bodies make me happy. Say what you will of me. I'll-lways have a Juffalo family. [clears throat] Mass murder make me happy; dead bodies make me happy. Say what you will of me. I'll-lways have a Juffalo family. [fades out] Mass murder make me happy; dead bodies make me happy. Say what you will of me. I'll-lways got a Juffalo family.