Asperchu/Background

This article is about Asperchu, a very well thought out webcomic.
For Chris's views and such and all that, see Asperchu.

“	I think Asperchu is a pretty nice guy. He faces his fear of rejection, tries his best to be tactful and humble, and he just wants somebody to love. Oh dear god, you made a sympathetic bizzaro Chris.	”
An anon on /cwc/, summarizing what makes Asperchu so unique.

“	I detest "Asperchu", because one, it is a Parody of a Sonichu with aspergers, which with the condition, I have no care for. And two, it is just lousy; if aspergers is really like autism, then the creator really knows nothing about Autism.	”
Chris on Asperchu, Mailbag 24

That's right, Asperchu is so popular, it's fan art that has received fan art of itself.

Asperchu is a parody of Sonichu detailing the zany misadventures of Asperchu, the electric hedgehog Pokémon with Asperger syndrome. It can be read here, its homepage is here and the /cwc/ thread can be found here. The creator of this delightful series sometimes forgets to upload a page or two in chronological order, but this is due to his Asperger's Syndrome affecting his memory.

Notably, it has a brief mention on CWCipedia in Chris's list of Sonichu parodies.

Protagonists

Asperchu

The Good, Godly, STRAIGHT Asperchu.

Asperchu is a high-functioning electric/aspergers hedgehog pokemon. He has no electric-type attacks; however, his aspergers-type attacks do double damage against autistic-type pokemon. His strongest attack is the Asperhameha, which hits his target with a blast of furious energy and can leave them confused and prone to developing mental blocks of their own.

Asperchu lives in Minnesota with his grandparents, Grandma Snorlax and Grandpa Alzheichu; his father went out to get a case of beer and promised to be right back, although this was some time in late 2003 and he hasn't been seen since. When not working hard on Youtube videos, he prefers to relax by playing video games on his Xbox 360 or hanging out with his joy-boys at the mall food court. He attends Normandale Community College with his two best joy-boys, Max and Jivin.

He is currently on a Love Quest to obtain a gal-pal who he can build into a sweetheart from the ground up. His standards for a gal-pal are not terribly stringent, although he will not abide gingers or tolerate those who do. He eventually met and fell in love with Dixie Chu, beginning his Dix Quest to win her heart. Having been rejected, though, Asperchu has been spending most of his time absorbed in Video games and won't go anywhere without his XBox Portable.

For a long time, Asperchu's hope for his Love Quest was to be able to finally have his dream daughter Asperia, which later became unnecessary when he traveled back in time and met the Ian Brandon Anderson of the past. Both of them drank the Special Fanta Brew that created Sonichu in the past; when Asperchu returned to the present, he found that he too was pregnant and crapped out a deformed monster and named it Asperia. While at first ecstatic to have her, he later grows bored of taking care of her and tries leaving her in the care of his grandma while he continues playing video games.

• Asperchu is, of course, based on Christian Weston Chandler; his overweight appearance and clothing precisely emulate Chris's, and Asperchu's goatee is from Chris's Rollin' and Trollin' phase. Asperchu's mannerisms are also directly copied from Chris, especially the ego, narcissism, self-entitlement, and fixation on the Love Quest. Also, Asperchu's saga parallels Chris's descent into madness, with early issues focusing on Asperchu's fairly-innocent Love Quest, and later issues showing him to be just as big a prick as Chris has become. It even goes as far as to hypothesize what Chris would do with a child if his wish came true; Reasonably, He would get tired of said child and neglect to take care of it.

Sonichu

Asperchu's bestest joy-boy Sonichu, who eventually got his own spin-off comic due to the popularity of Asperchu.

The brother, hetero-life mate, and STRAIGHT joy-boy of Asperchu, with whom he is engaged in an everlasting, STRAIGHT bromance.

Sonichu shows up from time to time to assist Asperchu in his adventures and in defeating the villainous forces of the Troll Lords. Even if there aren't any villains to fight or adventures to be had, however, Sonichu and Asperchu just can't stand to be apart for long, so occasionally they will meet up for a late night snuggling rendezvous. He is currently running for the office of District Attorney of the state of Virginia, on a vigorous platform of promoting both gay rights and recognition of Aspergers Syndrome as a component of the Autism Spectrum.

When confronting Ian Brandon Anderson, Metal Asperchu appeared in an attempt to kill him. Sonichu, for his troubles, lost his right hand.

At the end of issue 3D, the time-travel episode, past Chris tricks Asperchu in helping him mix his Special Fanta Brew, mixing the DNA of "Chu and Diety", and with the help of Satan's magic, he gives birth to Sonichu. Which finally explains how Chris-chan can be Sonichu's father, as well as why his penis his strangely bent as he had to pass Sonichu through his Urethra like a Kidney Stone. Upon learning that the real Chris-Chan may not be his biological father, he sets out on a journey to find his true origins, with the support of Max, Jivin, and Asperchu Simonchu and Mitch. Unfortunatly, Sonichu and Mitch are captured and tortured by Sonichu's brother Bionic. Chris later shows up to the rescue and acknowledges Sonichu's doubts about his parentage, but not before giving the deceased Mitch a burial.

Later, Chris reveals Sonichu's true parentage: that Ian was overjoyed in having Sonichu, but got tired of the responsibilities. Realizing raising Sonichu meant less time for video games and sign drawings, Ian tossed Sonichu in a Dreamcast box and sent him down the river, where Chris found him. Vengeful, Sonichu goes to find Ian...

Max

Asperchu's plucky, polyurethane sidekick.

One of Asperchu's best friends. He is always a True, Caring friend who only ever looks out for his joy-boys. He is composed of 80% memory foam and is capable of absorbing the properties and attacks of other people by temporarily ingesting them. Some of his transformations include Guido, Nazi Commander, 2Pac, and Yellow Devil.

At the funeral for the Chaotic Combo, it's revealed that Max is also a priest.

He is a completely original character and is not derived from any source other than Alec Benson Leary's own imagination.

Jivin Pickles

Aww, shit son, Asperchu just got GANGSTA all up in here.

The son of a prominent cucumber farmer, Jivin is Asperchu's black best friend who is black. He is keen to assist Asperchu in his Love Quest, although some speculate it is merely an excuse for him to pursue his own personal Fuck Quest, as his attitude toward gal-pals, while enthusiastic, appears less than wholesome at times. Instead of Christmas, Jivin celebrates Kwanzaa. Asperchu has suggested that he possibly does not realize Jivin is black. The Pickles family are the guardians of one of the seven Chaos Pickles.

Jivin is a fan-favorite on Asperpedia that has received his own sub-episode, as well as a few cameos in Isabel Monday's comic Capering Berries.

Villainous trolls

Ian Brandon Anderson

The evil and deceitful IAN BRANDON SOMETHING.

Ian believes himself to be the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler, but is instead a fat, insane man-child. Ian rules CWCville through a totalitarian and Nazi-like regime, although the CWCville Liberation Front constantly fights against his evil oppression. He forced women in middle school and older into prostitution as a form of sexual education. This recently changed after Ian's lengthy absence, leading to Mayorshack Tito to take over.

If he doesn't get his way, he uses his Transformers gun to silence anyone who questions his delusions. Ian attempted to murder Christian to prove that he was the real Chris Chan and also attempted to murder the "parodic" Sonichus before being set on fire by Metal Asperchu and loses his Transformers gun, where it passes hands until it is given away by Noir Chu.

In 1999, Ian had created Bionic, but quickly lost interest in him as the hedgehog attempted to win over his love. Fired from his job at Wendy's by Giovanni, Ian discovered Asperchu and quickly became friends with him. He introduced him to his gal-pals Ivy and Megan before encountering his future self. The two fought and the younger Ian proved victorious. He attempted to have sex with the two before Megan tazered him. Trapped by the foppish Principal Blaziken, Bionic came to his aid, but Ian mistook Asperchu as the hero, breaking his creation in the process. He invites Asperchu to his house where he convinces Asperchu to surrender some of his comeuppance to create the Special Fanta Brew. Summoning Satan to his house after drinking the cup with their comeuppance, he has him use his satanic powers to turn them into a Sonichu inside his stomach. The younger Ian would encounter the older Ian, forcing the two to attack with their Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has, leading to Bionic being rendered how he is now. Disgusted by Bionic's perceived failure, Ian abandons Bionic and, 10 weeks later, gives birth to Sonichu. The birth, however, leaves his duck bent at a horrible angle. He later abandons Sonichu since taking care of him took away from his time playing video games, so he sent him on a raft hoping that he'd raise himself to become the son he wanted without putting any effort into it.

When the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler disappeared, Ian quickly initiated a coup on CWCville, quickly taking it over. In short order, Ian ravaged the city, destroyed it's commerce center and driven or killed 70% of its population, placing the remaining citizens under martial law.

Years later, Ian reappeared, seeking to aid in the rescue of Asperchu, only to encounter the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler and be sat on fire by Metal Asperchu. Through various conversations, we learned that Ian had raped a number of Rosechu as well as Mitch Chu. When Metal Asperchu attacked, Ian took up a Son-Chu and battled it out, nearly winning until the robot took advantage of damage Simonchu inflicted. When the robot activated a time warp, he was tossed into the past and beaten by his past self. He attempted to fight again, only to encounter Max. He completely ignores Max's impassioned plea to stop fighting and races back to his house, encountering his younger self and set off the chain of events that would shunt him back into the present, where Metal Asperchu awaited. For a time, Ian was Bionic's prisoner, utterly unable to remember who he was. When Sonichu broke into his cell in an attempt to learn the truth of his past, Ian told him a fake story, only to be rejected by Sonichu. He attempted to escape with Sonichu, only to be captured in the process, passing out until the real Chris rescued everyone. Upon learning of Asperia, Ian seeks to take her away because he feels that she is actually his daughter Crystal.

• Ian Brandon Anderson is a version of Chris based on the Liquid Chris saga. Ian's appearance is a direct parody of Chris.

Bionic the Hedgehog

Ian Brandon Anderson's hedgehog creation. In 1999, it was a jovial and gay creature who encountered Jivin, Asperchu and Max after their time slip. They learned that he had sought to win Ian's love as the manchild slowly lost interest in other stuff other than himself and women. When Bionic rescued Ian from Principal Blaziken, Ian mistook Asperchu as his savior and scolded Bionic, which broke him. Rescued by Jivin, but apparently lost his ability to speak (most likely swallowed his tongue), Bionic attempted to return to Ian, only to watch as his older self and younger self prepared to fire a Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha on each other. Bionic saved an unwitting Asperchu from getting struck, only to be hit by the blasts. Losing an arm and being badly burned and scarred, Ian abandons him for his Sonichu. He attempts to get a job at McDonalds, but he is rejected by Robotnik. Rejected by his father and other lower forms, Bionic plots burning revenge against Ian.

Years later, Metal Asperchu would find him wheelchair-bound in a Dr. Wily-esque fortress. Bionic gave Metal Asperchu a Chaos Pickle as a sign of goodwill, then had him go after certain targets and kill them. Robotnik was first, killed for rejecting Bionic from McDonalds. Ian was the second target. When Metal Asperchu used the Chaos Pickles to create the time warp, he watched with joy as another robotic figure emerged. He finally managed to capture his father Ian Brandon Anderson (who forgot that Bionic was his first son and mistook him for another Sonichu parody), as well as his brother Sonichu. When the real Chris arrives to rescue Sonichu, he kills Mitch in cold blood before escaping.

• Bionic's condition is similar to that of Christopher Pike, the first captain of Star Trek's USS Enterprise, with the exception that Bionic could still talk while Pike could only respond with light.

• Similarly, Bionic's crippled body, mobile life support system, mechanized speech, distorted eyes, and general air of malevolent mystery could be based on Davros, one of the main villains on Doctor Who.

• As well, Bionic's base is based off a dream Chris mentioned about people being tortured in a "skull-shaped factory."

Metal Asperchu

Metal Asperchu was to be Sinestro's ultimate tool in finding the seven Chaos Pickles, but refused to follow his orders and proceeded to seek the Chaos Pickles on his own. Metal attacked Simonchu and stole his medallion to guide his quest, then brutally murdered three of the five members of the Chaotic Combo.

From there he goes and forms an alliance with the severely crippled Bionic the Hedgehog, doing random tasks like blowing up fast food resturants and killing Teddy Roosevelt. Bionic then orders the robot to bring him Christian Weston Chandler as his final task. He confronts Ian and attempts to kill him, only to be damaged in the process. He uses the four Pickles he gathered to take a new form and banish Ian, Asperchu, Max and Jivin to another time. When the four return, Metal Asperchu has taken up a new form and easily captures Ian. After obtaining the fifth Chaos Pickle, he decides to hold off on number six until he can unlock his full database. Confronting Sinestro, he learns the truth of the fourth directive, then releases Yellow Devil, Cthulu Chu and Bulbasus Chu before imprisoning Sinestro in one of the tubes

• Based on Metal Sonichu who in turn is based on Metal Sonic.

Other villains

Sinestro

As the apparent leader of the trolls, Sinestro has attempted to create numerous clones of Asperchu in order to find the seven Chaos Pickles, including Metal Asperchu and Noir Chu. Lisa and Dino Dash have been at his command from the very beginning, and he has convinced John to join him as well. After activating and losing Metal Asperchu, Sinestro has found himself pushed aside as the main villain before being locked up completely by his own creation.

Lisa

A girl who attends Normandale Community College. Asperchu took a fancy to her, and worked up the courage to ask her on a date for some fine dining and pleasant conversation at the local Burger King and she agreed. However, her plan all along was to steal his Asperchu Medallion and lower his Heart Level. Although Asperchu later defeated her in battle, she still succeeded in both goals. She appears to be in the employ of Sinestro, to whom she delivered the Medallion.

• Lisa most closely resembles Chris's ex-sweetheart Blanca. As with Lisa, Blanca pretended to be interested in Chris in order to steal his medallion.

Radar

GJ-Radar, known as John to people who aren't Asperchu. A Born-Again Baptist from rural Texas, he and his fiance Kendra traveled to Minnesota after becoming aware of Asperchu's Youtube rants, which they deemed sacrilegious and sinful. John confronted Asperchu and demanded he overcome his hypocrisy; Asperchu responded by challenging him to a Youtube Godstar Challenge to prove who the real Christian was. John was declared to be the one true Christian, while Asperchu was declared a fraud. Asperchu subsequently stole John's own crucifix necklace and used it to power his Jesus-hameha attack, which hit and injured Kendra when she intervened. Sinestro approached John, offering to heal Kendra in return for his services.

• Based off the Singstar Challenge of the Liquid Saga. John and Kendra most likely represent Liquid and Kacey.

Dino Dash

Dino Dash is the guido who kidnapped Jonas Chu in order to impersonate him at the Guitar Hero championship and abduct Dixie Chu as part of Sinestro's plan to obtain the seven Chaos Pickles. He is the strongest and most cunning of Sinestro's pawns.

• Dino Dash is based on Clyde Cash.

Count Plot Cohesuon

Count Plot Cohesuon is the mysterious force that may be behind Sinestro's search for the Chaos Pickles. He is not fond of dei ex machina.

• Count Plot Cohesuon is a parody of Count Graduon from the original Sonichu comic.

Noir Chu and Aspercream

Noir Chu was Sinestro's newest attempt to clone Asperchu by adding a black man named DeShaun into the mix. However, DeShaun's girlfriend jumped into the mixture with him and was turned into the rabbit Aspercream. Noir Chu would confront Asperchu and, confused by his memories, would be lead to the ALBVille Soup Hotel, where he would find his calling there. Aspercream's whereabouts are currently unknown.

• Noir Chu is based on Blake.

Silvana Rosechu

The evil, hermaphroditic Rosechu from the Sonichu series. Even more evil and cunning, she appears to work for Ian Brandon Anderson. She murders Bubbles and Magi-Chan, then lures Asperchu towards Ian, where's she's forced to become Meg Griffin for Ian's pleasure. She also has a noticeable bulge.

Clyde Cash

Clyde makes a very brief cameo in Ian's dream in Issue 4, where he's demonstrating his dominance over said troll. It is likely this scene was inspired by this piece of fanart. According to Asperdia's article on Clyde, he, Brian Bash and Dino Dash were all part of an elite government task force at one point in the past.

Yellow Devil

A leftover from Dr. Wily's usage, the Yellow Devil now works for Bionic, capturing Sonichu and Ian as they attempt to escape. It crushes Mitch Chu's legs, smacks Jivin around and fights Max before he is killed by the real Chris.

Supporting characters

Asperchu's family

Grandpa Alzheichu

Asperchu's grandfather, an old-fashioned Sonichu who spends most of his time sitting in his armchair and watching television. He also likes to make Asperchu do stressful chores around the house. Alzheichu is married to Snorlax.

• Alzheichu is based on Robert Chandler.

Grandma Snorlax

Asperchu's grandmother. Spends all of her time sleeping in the backyard. Snorlax is married to Alzheichu. Lost part of her foot due to Asperia's hunger.

• Snorlax is the nickname given to Barbara Chandler.

Asperia Chu

The future daughter of Asperchu, as foretold by GodJesus in a dream. Asperia Chu is definitely not a ginger. Asperia finally became a reality as a side effect of Past Chris's plans to become pregnant with Sonichu. When Asperchu craps her out in the present, he fails to realize what a disfigured abomination she really is. Asperchu quickly gets bored of her and, instead of taking care of her, stuffs her in the fridge or leaves her with sleeping Grandma Snorlax.

In one of Asperchu's daydreams of Asperia, she's seen wearing a bikini top and a thong underneath a skirt. This is likely mirroring Chris's pedofork tendencies. He also describes her as "the pinnacle of his existence", attributing to his own narcissism.

• Asperia Chu is based on Crystal Chandler. As with Crystal, her name is a feminine version of her "father's." As well, Asperia's Xenomorph look may be a jab at the Sonee and Rosey designs which have horrified many.

The Chaotic Combo

• Wild Sonichu is the leader of the Chaotic Combo and Simonchu's gay lover. Despises Asperchu's desire to win back Dixie Chu.

• Angelica Rosechu uses her wings and her faith in GodJesus to help her fight the forces of evil.

• Punchy Sonichu is the master of the "anshuent Chinaman martial arts." He has a very noticeable accent due to his ethnicity.

• Bubbles Rosechu is the entirely useless member who just hangs out with the group. She is extremely slow-in-the-mind and is prone to injuring herself in the process.

• Magi-Chan Sonichu uses his psychic powers to aid the Chaotic Combo. Magi-Chan is able to locate any person by going into a five-and-a-half hour trance. He also likes to go on long walks in the park and Mass debate to videos of Simonchu and Wild's Honeymoon tapes. He also seems to have a thing for Simonchu as well.

Wild, Angelica and Punchy were all brutally murdered by Metal Asperchu. Bubbles and Magi-Chan are later murdered by Silvana.

Christian Weston Chandler

The TRUE and HONEST CWC (also the true and honest medallion).

Sonichu's father and creator. Christian is the hero of CWCville, always willing to risk his life and do what is necessary for the greater good. He helped to reform CWCville after the war with Albville under the reign of his father, Robert "The Lumberjack" Chandler and restored peace before Ian's hostile takeover. After assisting Asperchu's assault on Sinestro's castle, Christian left to pursue Ian Brandon Anderson.

In Issue 4, it's revealed that he raised Sonichu since as far back as he could remember, and trained him how to fight and WHEN to fight. However, during the time travel episode, Asperchu shed's light on the mayors past that puts Sonichu's biological parentage in doubt. The hedgehog now seeks Chris to try to find out the truth of his parentage. Instead, Chris finds them, rescuing them from Bionic, though not before Bionic kills Mitch. It is revealed in Issue 5 that Chris found Sonichu abandoned in a cardboard box and raised the Hedgehog Pokemon to be the creature who he was now.

• Christian Chandler is based on Liquid Chris. The knife he carries is based on Sonichu Special 4.

Other characters

Mitch Chu

Sonichu's cousin. He's a gay hairstylist, and his catch-phrase is Razzle-dazzle. When problems arose during Metal Asperchu's attack, Sonichu called in Mitch to watch over Jivin and his dad, who were attacked by the robot. He ended up giving Jivin a new hairdo. Later he helps reform Asperchu clone Noirchu by having him volunteer at an Albville soup hotel. In issue 3, it is implied that Ian raped Mitch when he was a Sonee. He also has two fathers. In Issue 4, he agrees to join Sonichu on his quest to find his real father. When he attempts to rescue Sonichu from Bionic's clutches, his legs are crushed by the Yellow Devil, pinned to a wall crucifix-style, then shot through the chest before the real Chris can save him.

Mitch also appears as Sonichu's guide through the wonderful world of copyright infringement in Sonichu Revolution.

• Mitch Chu is based on Mitch Sonichu, Chris's take on Asperchu's "EXTREME ELECTRIC MAKEOVER" in Sonichu 10. He was made into a gay stylist as a logical conclusion to said makeover.

Simonchu

Although Simonchu stars in his own comic series, he appears in Asperchu as the bisexual lover of Wild Sonichu. Metal Asperchu attacked Simonchu and stole his medallion. He is rendered grief-stricken when Metal Asperchu killed Wild, allowing him to be taken advantage of by Rosechu. In Issue 4, Simonchu agrees to join Sonichu in trying to find his real father.

Dixie Chu

The girl of Asperchu's dreams. Dixie been dating Jonas Chu and is disgusted by Asperchu, but that fact hasn't kept Asperchu from pursuing her. Asperchu has dedicated his life to obtaining "Dix" as his sweetheart.

• Dixie Chu is based off a number of Chris's gal-pals, but is probably more centered on Megan Schroeder and Kacey.

Jonas Chu

Asperchu's rival for the heart of Dixie Chu. Asperchu first met Jonas Chu at the Brass Dragon, where, in preparation for the Guitar Hero championship, they competed for the right to be Dixie Chu's boyfriend. Jonas beat Asperchu, but only by "cheating" by playing on Hard mode, which Asperchu had not yet mastered. Jonas was then kidnapped so that Dino Dash could replace him in the tournament and abduct Dixie.

He escaped over a week later by chewing through his handcuffs. Jonas followed Max and Jivin to Sinestro's castle, where he was reunited with his love.

• May have been based off the events from CWC More Than A Feeling of the Liquid Saga.

Rosechu

Sonichu's sweetheart. She is seen comforting Simonchu at the funeral for Wild, Punchy and Angelica. Jivin is shown to have sexual fantasies of her. After the funeral, she tells Simonchu that she can satisfy his needs, which pisses off Magi-Chan. Rosechu later confronts Simonchu and seduces him.

• Rosechu's transgenderism parodies the constant call-out to Chris concerning Rosechu's gender, especially after recent events in the Mailbag.

Whispy Sonichu

Punchy's slow-in-the-mind cousin. Appears at the Chaotic Combo's funeral, barely affected by his cousin's death. Despite being oriental, Whispy speaks Spanish.

Larry D. Waltz

Larry D. Waltz is the dean of Normandale Community College. He supplies Sinestro with an African-American in exchange for a mysterious disc.

• Larry is based on Mary Lee Walsh, and has a resemblance to Jimmy Hill.

Sitting Chu

Sitting Chu is the head of ALBVille's only Soup Hotel. He welcomes those who need refuge with open arms, but he isn't beyond kicking people out, as he did with Asperchu

• Sitting Chu is based off of the Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan.

Jimarcus Chu

A friend of Mitch Chu's. He was a veteran of the Jamaican war, and currently works at the Albville Soup hotel (they only need one) to help CWCville refugees. He's accepting of Noir Chu and helps him adjust, though he, too, is not thrilled by Asperchu's self-centeredness.

• Jimarcus Chu is loosely based on Inos.

Doctor Robotnik

It seems that the once-feared nemesis of Sonic the Hedgehog has fallen on hard times, now working as a cashier at a McDonalds. He promptly kicks Asperchu out of the restaurant when he attempts to seriously pay a 31-dollar meal with food stamps worth 10 dollars. He is then presumably killed by Metal Asperchu for his crimes against Bionic.

Giovanni

The feared leader of Team Rocket and gym leader of Viridian City has another job: manager at Wendy's. He was seen in 1999, firing Ian Brandon Anderson after he fell asleep on the job, then promised that he'd never work in the city again.

Megan and Ivy

Two of the younger Ian's gal-pals. When the younger Ian defeats his future self in pathetic combat, he attempts to have hanky panky only to be tazed by Megan.

• Megan and Ivy are based off of Megan Schroeder and Ivy.

Principal Blaziken

The overly homosexual principal of Ian's high school. His actions lead Ian to call for help and is killed by Bionic, only for Ian to mistake Asperchu to be the hero.

• Principal Blaziken is based off Sonichu 10's Marvey Blaziken and is reminiscent of the principal from Chris's elementary school.

Sammy

A hat-wearing, bespectacled individual resembling Chris. Rambles in odd phrases. Metal Asperchu obliterates him and everything around him after getting the fifth Chaos Pickle.

• While he is obviously modeled after Sammy from Sonichu, in addition he's taken on some traits from Homestar Runner character Homsar, who wore a yellow bowler hat and spouted "word salads" and non-sequiturs (which turned out to simply be his native language), such as "All aboard the Gravy Train!"

Bubastis Chu

Asperchu clone number 18. Originally just another extra for Sinestro's Forte Grosse, Bubastis Chu rose in popularity when she featured in Isabel Monday's Capering Berries in a spinoff comic. All of her comics are jokes based on the comic/film Watchmen, and she generally annoys her two fathers Sinestro and Larry. Bubastis Chu and Cthulhu Chu are later released by Metal Asperchu in the Asperchu comics.

Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)

Has a brief cameo appearance during Ian's daydreams. According to her Asperpedia article, Ian, believing himself to be Chris, thought Crystal Weston Chandler (Sister) was his sister. And being the massive narcissist that he is, believed that his ideal partner was his closest genetic match. Failing to seduce his faux-sister, he instead named his dream daughter after her. Believing Asperia was really Crystal, Ian became jealous of Asperchu. Like Asperia, she wears a thong.

• Crystal is obviously based on his imaginary daughter, but in a humorous twist, looks like Chris's comic drawing of his sister. Thus, the circle of incest is complete.

Mayorshack Tito

The new democratically-elected mayor of CWCville after the dethronement of Ian Brandon Anderson. Tito has been tremendously successful in restoring the city to its former glory, bringing life back to the desolate wasteland. Asperchu, for some reason, thinks he's black.

• Mayorshack Tito is based on the troll Surfshack Tito.

Locations

Alzheichu's Home

This is where Asperchu lives. A junky, decrepit home, Alzheichu makes Asperchu do menial, yet, back breaking chores. Asperchu's room is a particular mess, covered with various toys and anime posters. It also has an XBox 360, which Asperchu constantly plays, especially after his encounter with Dixie Chu. The house's frame is under constant stress, since Grandma Snorlax is always up against it.

• This is a parody of Chris's house.

Brass Dragon

A gaming store which Asperchu frequents. This is where Asperchu encounters Dixie Chu and Jonas Chu and attempts to win Dixie's heart.

• This is a parody of The Game Place.

Jivin's Home

Where Jivin' lives. Was where one of the seven Chaos Pickles was located before Metal Asperchu broke in and stole it. Oddly, it has a collection of skeletons.

CWCville

Before and after Ian Brandon Anderson's reign as mayor, CWCville was a peaceful, beautiful city with flowering fields and a happy populace. Under Ian, however, it turned into a dictatorship that wiped out 70% of the population, all of whom were found distasteful by the mayor. Women are forced into brothels as early as Junior High School, and all remaining occupations are in the mayor's mall. The environment was destroyed by his dark energy and the pollution of state Orange Soda factories. An army of Sonichu Nazis carry out the mayor's will and are as intolerant and depraved as he is. Fortunately, thanks to the reconstruction effort, most of the damage has been reversed. Democracy has also been returned thanks to Chris's efforts, and Mayorshack Tito won the first CWCville election in years.

Albville

Neighboring town to CWCville and Asperchu's hometown. Unlike CWCville, it is under a democratic system and accepts people of all races, orientations and creeds. In fact, they receive many CWCville refugees, who are well taken care of in the Albville soup hotel (they only need one). It allied with ECGville during a brief war with old RFCville and has since maintained good relations with the town. Founded by Alec Benson Leary, he has since disappeared due to mysterious circumstances.

Bionic's Fortress

Bionic's base of operations, which was abandoned when Chris came to Sonichu's rescue. Its appearance is based on Robotnik Dr. Wily's fortress, as well as Chris's dream of a SKULL SHAPED castle where people were destroyed.

4-Cent Garbage Tower

The remnants of the 4-cent garbage Tower, which was destroyed by Ian, are still being cleaned up by CWCville's citizens. Originally the economic center of the city, it also contained many of Ian's "Undesirables" and he flew his mouse-pointer plane into the building to destroy it. Many lives were lost, and to this day is considered "Ian's most terrible legacy".

• The 4-cent garbage tower is a combination of Rage against the garbage 2 and one of Chris's videos mocking Clyde by comparing him to the destruction of the World Trade Center.

Plot synopsis

Issue 0

Asperchu is convinced by his friends Max and Jivin to ask Lisa on a date to the Burger King. Lisa, however, sends red-headed hambeast Heaven in her place. Asperchu doesn't notice the difference until she attempts to grab his Medallion and her wig falls off. Lisa, who had been videotaping the scene for a YouTube video, races in and snatches the Medallion and runs away. With the help of Sonichu, Asperchu tracks her down and defeats her with an Asperhameha attack; however, he is unable to retrieve his stolen Medallion. Lisa uploads the video of Asperchu's date onto YouTube, prompting Asperchu to retaliate with his own video.

The plot continues in Issue 0A when John sees Asperchu's video on YouTube. He is appalled at Asperchu's un-Christian attitude and travels with his fiance Kendra to Minnesota to confront him in person. When they meet face-to-face, Asperchu is shocked to see that John has his own medallion (a crucifix) and runs off to create a replacement. He posts a YouTube video claiming his original Medallion was never lost; Lisa sees the video and joins John in his attempt to defeat Asperchu, who calls for a contest to see who the True and Honest Christian is. In the end, John is declared the winner, causing Asperchu to confront him. He steals John's crucifix and uses it to power a Jesushameha attack against him; Kendra, however, saves John and takes the full force of the blast herself, collapsing into a coma. This infuriates John, who punches Asperchu in the face, causing him to cry. John picks up Kendra and leaves, but he soon encounters Sinestro in the forest, who promises to heal Kendra if he works for him.

Issue 0B begins with Asperchu practicing for the upcoming Guitar Hero contest. While at the Brass Dragon game store, he meets Dixie Chu and instantly falls in love with her. However, Dixie is already dating Jonas Chu, so Asperchu challenges Jonas to a game of Guitar Hero to see who deserves to be Dixie's sweetheart. Jonas easily beats Asperchu and leaves with Dixie, unknowingly being followed by a mysterious figure that kidnaps Jonas when the two separate. Meanwhile, Asperchu, convinced that Jonas cheated, uses Crayola markers to disguise himself as Jonas and creates a video admitting he cheated. Dixie sees the video and learns that Jonas was kidnapped. She goes to the Guitar Hero contest to confront him, only to find yet another person disguised as Jonas. This second impostor abducts her and flies away with Dixie in his arms. She manages to break free and is caught by Sonichu as she falls to the ground. Asperchu catches up and learns that Dino Dash was behind the ordeal. Dino easily defeats the two joy-boys and takes Dixie to Sinestro's castle.

Asperchu begins Issue C training to fight Dino and doing chores for his grandfather, when he is attacked by Sinestro in an aircraft. Sinestro is able to destroy Asperchu's new Medallion, and takes Asperchu back to his castle. Meanwhile, Max and Jivin are approached by a fat man claiming to be none other than Christian Weston Chandler himself, who promises to help save Asperchu. Jonas, who finally was able to free himself, follows the trio to Sinestro's castle, where Asperchu is being assaulted by Sinestro's trolls, bringing his Heart Level to 0%. He is saved by another, more badass Christian. As the two explore the castle, they find a room containing many failed Asperchu clones. It is here that Max, Jivin, Sonichu, and the other Chris finally find them, and the fat Chris is revealed to be Ian Brandon Anderson. Sinestro stops time and explains his goal of finding the seven Chaos Pickles using an Asperchu clone. He uses Asperchu's Medallion to activate Metal Asperchu. Time resumes and Ian, confused by the presence of three Asperchu's attempts to shoot the "unholy parodies," prompting Metal Asperchu to set him on fire. Sinestro tells Metal Asperchu to kill the others, but Metal refuses and leaves to find the Chaos Pickles on his own. Jonas reunites with Dixie and Christian bids the friends farewell as he continues his quest to stop the evil Ian.

Issue 1

Metal Asperchu attacks Simonchu in the forest and steals his medallion to help him find the Chaos Pickles. Asperchu meets Sonichu at the mall and is introduced to Angelica, Punchy and Bubbles of the Chaotic Combo. They join gay lovers Wild and Simonchu at their headquarters, and the Chaotic Combo decides to find and destroy Metal Asperchu. They plan to use Magi-Chan's powers to locate Metal Asperchu, but Asperchu interrupts and makes Magi-Chan search for Dixie Chu instead. They soon hear from Max that Metal had attacked Jivin's farm and stolen the Chaos Pickle his family had sworn to protect. Wild, Punchy and Angelica pursue Metal Asperchu and catch up to him, engaging in combat. Magi-Chan senses the three are in danger. He and Simonchu go to help them, but arrive to find them savagely torn apart at the hands of Metal Asperchu.

Meanwhile, Sinestro decides to make one more Asperchu clone, using a black student from Normandale Community College as the secret ingredient this time. As the student falls into the vat, his girlfriend jumps in to try and save them, but it's too late; he becomes Noir Chu, while she becomes a rabbit called Aspercream. Confused by memories of Asperchu, Noir Chu leaves to find Asperchu's fat ass and find some answers. And as all of this is happening, Jivin gets a make over by the fabulous Mitch Chu.

Issue 2

The issue starts with Max and Jivin trying to reach Asperchu for the funeral of the Chaotic Combo. After failing to get Asperchu, due to him deleting his messages, they contact Alzheichu and get him to get Asperchu. After complaining about missing another party, he agrees and joins the two. At the funeral, they're joined by the remains of the Chaotic Combo and another, Rosechu. Meanwhile, Metal Asperchu arrives in a Dr. Wily-like fortress in search of another Chaos Pickle. Inside, he confronts the paralyzed Bionic, who gleefully allows him to take the Chaos Pickle in his possession, then ominously mentions that the two of them could aid each other. Back at the funeral, Max eulogies about the fallen Chaotic Combo while Asperchu sleeps through it.

After the funeral, Rosechu comforts and starts hitting on Simonchu, much to Magi-Chan's chagrin, and Asperchu grows bored and leaves, only to be confronted by Noir Chu. Meanwhile, Metal Asperchu kills Flame the Sunbird and takes his Chaos Pickle and returns to Bionic. Bionic refuses to reveal the location of the next Chaos Pickle without Metal Asperchu doing something for him. Meanwhile, Noir Chu holds Asperchu at gunpoint. After introducing himself as Asperchu's brother, Noir Chu gets annoyed at Asperchu's insistence that he was more muscular than Noir Chu. Even worse, when Noir Chu talks of his origins, Asperchu ignores him. Mitch Chu, however, arrives and helps Noir Chu, taking him to a Soup Hotel. It's caretaker, Sitting Chu, accepts Noir Chu, but Noir Chu is forced to relinquish his gun, though he realizes that he's more of a help in the Soup Hotel.

At a grocery store, a despondent Simonchu shops, only to be confronted by Rosechu and the two have sex. Whispy, who caught the two, warns Magi-Chan, who races out, leaving Bubbles by herself, not realizing it was actually Silvana in disguise, the real Bubbles being dead. Worse, he comes home to find out that his porn had been stolen as well as a dating simulator. Simonchu reappears and, realizing that Magi-Chan had the feelings for him, decides to have a threesome, ignoring Bubbles's dead body.

Back at the Soup Hotel, Asperchu is caught eating the food there and is kicked out. He arrives at a McDonald's, where he orders a humongous meal. When he tries to pay for it with food stamps worth 10 dollars, the cashier, Dr. Robotnik, kicks him out. Asperchu, angry, posts a video, delivering a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha onto McDonald's and the Soup Hotel. When Asperchu discovers that the McDonald's was destroyed, he believes that it was he who brought it to be, not knowing that it was Metal Asperchu who destroyed it. When he tells Max and Jivin, the two can only sigh and ignore Asperchu.

Back in Bionic's base, Metal Asperchu returns, with Blake revealing the fourth Chaos Pickle. He now decides that he wants Christian Weston Chandler.

Issue 3

As the issue starts, Sinestro attempts to find where Noir Chu disappeared to. When Aspercream has no clue, Sinestro banishes him. Back at Sonichu's house, remaining heroes (himself, Mitch Chu, Jivin, Max, Simonchu, Magi-Chan and Asperchu) prepare to charge into CWCville. Much to everyone's dismay, they HAVE to take Asperchu with them. Asperchu doesn't want to go, but is convinced otherwise, with Silvana watching.

The next day, the heroes arrive in CWCville, with Metal Asperchu already making his move. With Max copying a CWCville soldier and leading a group of them onward, Magi-Chan uses his Satanic powers to kill the soldiers. Magi-Chan is saddened to see CWCville's state, but is driven... to kill Asperchu when he tells him to get a girlfriend. In his palace, Ian Brandon Anderson, now donning his true clothes, is waiting for our heroes. As Metal Asperchu watches, the remaining five are split into two teams, with Magi-Chan protesting about being with Asperchu. Learning that Simonchu is in the palace, Metal Asperchu changes his plans and races on ahead. As Sonichu reminisces about CWCville before Ian took over, Magi-Chan berates Asperchu, who ignores his anger-filled rant. True to his earlier word, Magi-Chan is impaled by Silvana, who takes Asperchu away, mesmerized by her boobs. As Simonchu, Sonichu and Mitch Chu enter, Asperchu is taken to Ian, who has Silvana transform into Megan Griffin. Ian forces Asperchu to admit he's Mitch and that he's stealing his fame and fortune, but he refuses forcing him to be tortured.

As Sonichu, Mitch and Simonchu arrive, memories of the past resurface in Mitch about an encounter with Ian. Before he can remember it all, Metal Asperchu arrives, intending on killing Ian. When Sonichu blocks his way, Metal Asperchu cuts off half his arm and gives chase. Simonchu frees Asperchu, who immediately regrets it when he says that he chased off Asperchu and wants to go home. Mitch takes Sonichu to get aid while Asperchu and Simonchu go after Ian. Ian leads Metal Asperchu to his hangar, where he does battle using Son-Chu. Metal Asperchu's weaponry is too weak against Son-Chu, but Simonchu is able to damage it with his drills, severing its fuel line. Asperchu attempts an Asper-ha-me-ha, but is stopped by Son-Chu, with Metal Asperchu damaged. The robot, however, uses an incendiary round to ignite Son-Chu, causing him to fall out the building. As Jivin and Max reunite, Asperchu attempts to get Metal Asperchu to get him home. Instead, Metal Asperchu uses the four Chaos Pickles to open up a time warp that launches Simonchu out of the building and sucks Max, Jivin, Asperchu and Ian inside. As Sinestro, his companion, Mitch, Sonichu, Simonchu, and Bionic (gleefully) watch, Metal Asperchu takes up a new form.

Issue 3D

The issue finds our stalwart heroes arriving in 1999 after falling through Metal Asperchu's Chaos Pickle timewarp. Jivin and Max do the sensible thing and attempt to blend in with the complex 90s culture by going to where all cool 90s kids shop: Hot Topic.

Asperchu, on the other hand, decides to feed his fat ass and goes to pillage a Wendy's where he meets a young Ian being fired by Giovanni (apparently having left Team Rocket for the more glamorous life of fast-food management). The instantly get along, Asperchu being oblivious to the similarities between his new friend and the raving lunatic who just tried to kill him. They head to Manchester High School for a rousing Soul Caliber tournament with Young Ian's "gal-pals" Megan and Ivy. However, the current Ian is already there, and judging by Megan and Ivy's comments, has already began creeping them out. Naturally, Ian mistakes his younger self for another impersonator, and gets into an epic fight. The current Ian, being fueled by McDonalds and soda, is easily defeated by his younger counterpart. Given heart by his first victory, Young Ian shoos out Asperchu so he can come on to Ivy and Megan for some well-earned "sex time". As a result, he gets tased by Megan (something which should have happened in real life). Apparently, this is how Ian gets sent down the road to becoming a crazy egomaniac.

Meanwhile, Max and Jivin reunite with Asperchu and run into a Bionic that has not yet been Stephen Hawkingitized. He is just as big a joy-boy as Sonichu, but is clearly disturbed by the fact that Young Ian doesn't return his love. His mental instability is further reinfornced as he takes an iron to his arm and cuts "Chris" into his leg before sensing that Young Ian is in trouble. Meanwhile, Young Ian gets sent to Principal Blaziken's office, being counseled on his sexual deviance towards his gal-pals. Bionic then bursts through the doors and stabs Principal Blaziken through the throat. Young Ian, being a tremendous coward in the face of real danger, comes out from behind a desk to be greeted by Asperchu. Young Ian then wrongly assumes that Asperchu was the one that saved him instead of Bionic, and invites him over to his house to personally taste some of his new Fanta Brew. Bionic then becomes distraught and runs off, Jivin and Max in pursuit out of concern that Bionic will go batshit. Before Max can, though, Ian shows up, forcing Jivin to go after Bionic alone. Ian starts to fight, but Max tries to get him to stop with a speech of peace. However it all goes over Ian's head.

In "Chris"'s house, he prepares the Fanta Brew, but needs Asperchu's comeuppance to make it work, which the hedgehog obliges. At a bridge, Bionic prepares to jump and hang himself, only to be rescued by Jivin. Accidentally, however, Bionic swallows his tongue, rendering unable to talk. At "Chris"'s house, Asperchu drinks the brew as well, but it makes him sick, allow Ian the chance to summon Satan for the last part - to bring together the two DNAs and create Sonichu. Meanwhile, Ian gets tired of Max's talk and runs as Bionic quickly races back to the young Ian's house, forcing Max Jivin to follow. Bionic encounters the older Ian who dismisses him quickly, shattering his already fragile mind more.

When the two Ians meet again, they decide to end everything right there, performing a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha on each other. The two blasts meet and cause a strange phenomenon. When Asperchu goes to see what's going on, Bionic pushes Asperchu out of the way, taking the hit and setting the future in stone as the four time travelers are returned to the present. Young Ian takes credit for the victory, then disowns Bionic for Sonichu. Broken, Bionic attempts to get a job at McDonalds, only to be turned away by Robotnik. Furious, Bionic plots revenge. Ten weeks later, Ian gives birth to Sonichu, but the process ends up bending his duck.

In the present, the four return to where they were, only to find the new and improved Metal Asperchu waiting for them...

Issue 4

As the issue begins, Asperchu wakes up to find himself back in his room. Confused, he asks Alzheichu as to how he got back home. Alzheichu doesn't give a damn and tells him to go feed Snorlax. Meanhwile in Bionic's base, Ian dreams of getting revenge on Clyde Cash and having sex with a bunch of Rosechu before Bionic wakes him up. When Ian has no clue as to who Bionic is, the hedgehog explodes at him until Metal Asperchu arrives. Bionic attempts to blow him aside to deal with Ian, but the robot forces him to reveal the location of the next Chaos Pickle.

Elsewhere, Asperchu is busy playing Guitar Hero DS when Max arrives, suggesting that they should go see Sonichu. When he asks if he even wants to know about Metal Asperchu and the Mayor, Asperchu blows him off. Nonetheless, Max is able to drag Asperchu to Sonichu's hospital room, where Jivin's already there. When Asperchu makes a comment about how the younger Ian drank the semen concoction to create Sonichu, Sonichu becomes horrified - all of his earlier memories were with Christian Weston Chandler. He resolves to find Chris and learn the truth. As he does, Asperchu grows oddly sick. Elsewhere, Metal Asperchu lands in the location of the fifth Chaos Pickle, encountering Sammy. The manchild's constant random-access humor causes Metal Asperchu to kill him and level the area he's around. In the hospital's bathroom, Asperchu takes a dump (which was odd for him because of the regular timing was off), but as he leaves, he discovers something odd. Outside, Jivin and Max talk about Sonichu's resolve when Asperchu arrives revealing what he shat out - a horrible, deformed Chu/human hybrid he named Asperia. Max and Jivin are undeniably horrified at it.

Back in Bionic's base, Bionic tosses Ian back in his cell. When Bionic leaves, Ian pulls out his pocket knife and attempts an escape. When Metal Asperchu arrives with the fifth Chaos Pickle, he absorbs its power, allowing Bionic to comment that his plan is coming to fruition. In Asperchu's home, Alzheichu discovers Asperia in the fridge and asks Asperchu why she's in there. Tired of the arguments, Asperchu calls Max in to help, who tells him she's hungry. In Bionic's base, Metal Asperchu realizes he cannot access his fourth directive and opts to forgo the sixth Pickle for now in order to seek out his answers. He barges into Sinestro's castle and forces Larry to run, confronting Sinestro alone. Sinestro begins telling him of his origins before the robot cuts him off, only wanting access into the directive. Back in Asperchu's home, Asperchu leaves Asperia with Snorlax.

In Bionic's base, Simonchu, Sonichu and Mitch Chu break into Ian's cell. When Ian comes to thank Mitch, Sonichu demands to know how he was born. When Ian gives him a wild and stupid story, Sonichu cuts him off and the trio leave, dejected. In Sinestro's castle, Sinestro tells Metal Asperchu that the fourth directive is a doomsday contingency that could spell doom for all. Metal Asperchu, takes it into consideration and decides to take another one of the Asperchu clones. At Bionic's base, the Chus make their escape with Ian following (much to Sonichu's horror). A Yellow Devil appears and captures Sonichu and Ian and brings them to Bionic. Captured, Sonichu attempts to tell Bionic he has as much reason to hate Ian as he does, but Bionic refuses to listen, forcing him to look at the scar burns on his face. Back in Asperchu's home, Simonchu races to get Asperchu, Jivin and Max, only for Max and Jivin to leave Asperchu behind. As they do, Grandpa Alzheichu discovers Asperia eating Grandma Snorlax's foot.

In Bionic's base, Mitch attempts to rescue Sonichu, only for the Yellow Devil to crush his legs. Pinning Mitch to the wall crucifix style, Bionic attempts to show Ian how fruitless it is, only to snap when Ian keeps calling him a troll. Max, Simonchu and Jivin enter the base and rescue Sonichu, only to be stopped by the Yellow Devil. Jivin attempts to fight him off with Soul Fu, only to be blasted back. Max absorbs the Yellow Devil's shots to become Yellow Devil Max and continue the fight... only for a certain knife to stab into the beast's eye. Chris heroically arrives to rescue the group and demanded Bionic released Mitch from the wall. Instead, he fatally shot Mitch and flew away.

Chris promises to answer Sonichu's questions about his parentage, but not before taking Mitch home to be buried. Ian later meets Asperchu at Wendy's and asks him (thinking he's Sonichu) how he was able to recover from Bionic's torture so quickly. The issue ends back in Forte Grosse; Metal Asperchu imprisons Sinestro in one of his growing vials and releases the last two Asperchu clones, Bubastis Chu and Cthulhu Chu.

Style

The Asperchu comic is a true parody. It pokes fun at everything that makes Chris's Sonichu comic series what it is. Unlike the Sonichu comics, where everyone praises Chris for what he's done, the same cannot be said for Asperchu, whose descent into the same giant prick that Chris has become has the entire supporting cast ready to kill him. Unlike Chris's comics, where no one ever gets hurt unless they're the bad guys, the Asperchu comics gleefully show people getting maimed on a regular basis. So far, six heroes have been killed and/or maimed (Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo) while one villain (Robotnik) had been killed.

Another thing that has earned the ire of Chris is its tablet-drawn style. This is, more or less, a delusional thing for Chris, who believes that it doesn't have the same "character" as his paper and pencil drawn pages.