Little Tomboy Blue
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Little Tomboy Blue (leaked as urqehgvuierg) is a horrifying video of Chris stripping for his sweetheart Jackie to musical accompaniment, leaked on 25 February 2012.
Chris, in full tomgirl garb, uses his PS3 to play "Fuck the Pain Away" by electroclash artist Peaches as he poorly imitates traditional stripper mannerisms. Interspersed in the actual song are his made-up lyrics, mostly nonsensical exclamations of his tomgirl pride. As the video progresses, Chris sheds more and more of his clothing, eventually revealing his muscle bra and panties, with his abdominal flab spilling over the waistline. At points in the video, Chris turns his backside toward the camera and pulls down the panties to jiggle his fat ass. Toward the end, Chris removes his bra and slowly massages his nipples while repeatedly uttering the song's final chorus, thus ensuring that all of our recurring nightmares are replaced by Stripping Chris himself.
It is unknown whether or not Jackie explicitly requested this video, or Chris taped it as a spontaneous "gift". However, unaware that most strippers are not only thin but also women, Chris' hamfisted attempt at impressing Jackie instead comes across as thoroughly disgusting and creepy. Many Relics of Fail are visible in this video, including several Sonichu cutouts, and the original Attraction Sign from 2003, which, evidently, Chris has found important enough to have kept taped to his wall almost nine years later.
Video
Little Tomboy Blue | |
Search for video | YouTube, archive |
Subject Matter | Strip tease |
Performance Style | |
Saga | |
Shirt | Blue/navy tank top |
Transcript
Little Tomboy Blue? Come blow my horn.
At one point, Chris attempts to lift both legs to waist height. He has to grab them with his arms to accomplish this, and immediately grimaces with the pain of physical effort