Forgot the Glitter
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Forgot the Glitter (leaked as vjtuevvjkdufkbjtdv [SaveYouTube.com]) is a video made on 14 July 2011 and leaked on 25 February 2012 in which a distressed Chris performs a jiggle-dance, inspired by a viral video, in the changing room of a Walmart for Jackie. Originally a performance intended to be taped in the store's aisles, Chris had to settle for humiliating himself privately in the fitting rooms due to the fact that the store was busier than he had anticipated.
Chris, dressed in his jean skirt appears trying on a brand new red tank top with a price tag still attached to it. The tank top looks way too small for him, suggesting that even if Chris were to buy new clothes they would still look as if he had had them since he was twelve years old. After a short disclaimer he starts wobbling his fat rolls back and forth while uttering nonsense for almost two minutes. In the course of the video, he lifts his skirt to reveal the Transgender symbol inscribed on his left ass cheek, which he calls his "cutie mark". It appears to be drawn on with Crayola magic marker. This is a rather curious choice of body art given Chris's continual derision of gay men, as the transgender symbol is traditionally associated with the LGBT community. After nearly half a minute of mooning his audience Chris finally pulls his skirt back down to reveal that he has decorated it with the letters "J.PIE", because nothings says "I love you" to a girl quite like spelling her name with silver spangle on your skirt.
Interesting to note is Chris's discomfort in performing such a bizarre request, a reluctance that, while healthy and expected of a sane individual, has been absent in Chris's pursuit of appeasing a sweetheart until now. However, the completed video further illustrates that when china is involved, "dignity" is not a word in Chris's vocabulary.
Video
Forgot the Glitter | |
Search for video | YouTube, archive |
Stardate | 14 July 2011 |
Subject Matter | |
Performance Style | |
Saga | |
Shirt | Red tank top |
Other | Leaked |
Transcript
[We see Chris in his tomgirl get up, bent over to talk to the camera in a change room in Wal-Mart.]
I ain't gonna do it, I'm sorry Jackie, but I'm not gonna be able to do it in the aisles today. More crowded than I thought...
What the Hell is going on with that light?
Anyway, mmmm. Enjoy the two minutes in the dressing room here.
[Chris begins to shake his body]
Walla walla Walmart Walla walla Walmart, Walla walla walla walla walla Walmart walla walla
[Chris lifts up his mini skirt showing his unholy taint. He then begins to shake it in front of the camera.]
Walla walla Walmart walla walla walla walla Walmart
Deh deh deh deh deh deh walla walla Walmart
walla walla Walmart walla walla Walmart shake that, walla walla Walmart
[Puts his skirt down and continues dancing.]
Walla walla walla walla walla, walla walla walla, walla walla Walmart
Walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla
Check your progress, check your progress, walla walla Walmart
[Chris, now clearly exhausted, attempts to continue dancing but gives up.]
Oh! the things I do for love, and I forgot the glitter.
(sigh) Jackie I'll progress. Check my progress.