List of Chris's lies

Chris, not being one to accept personal responsibility, will frequently lie to save face.

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the trolls. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that looks remotely convincing so his lies have the opposite effect (ex. going to Redmond). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his actions (ex. drawing a rule 34 of Megan).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be True and Honest probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie", a lie said out of courtesy to avoid offending people with the uncomfortable truth. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his usual blindness to social rules, probably learned through his autistic brain that it is OK to lie in order to save face, because it is possible to do so while still remaining Honest.

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

Chris's lies

• Chris claims to be related to Anne Boleyn, which is impossible since her ultimate descendant is the virgin Queen Elizabeth.

• In a Mumble chat, he lied and said that nude photos of him on Encyclopedia Dramatica were photoshopped, despite the fact he willingly consented to these photos. Chris also lied to Miyamoto about the ED images being photoshopped.

• For two days, Chris claimed to have a new sweetheart named Chloe after the Blanca breakup. The first mention was to his fans of all people. Yet if he was already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at GameStop where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women. The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again.

• In the infamous Clyde-raped-Panda chat, Chris states, "My heart is true and set, and I have made my promises. I am with Sarah in mind and soul; I have promised to be her True Sweetheart...and I am not a man who goes back on his promises." Chris then proceeded to give her up to Clyde over a matter of days, and then quickly became involved with Julie.

• Chris lied about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."

• In his 13 September 2009 video, he says he personally talked to Sega of America and was told Project Needlemouse (or as he calls it, Needlenose) was a new Sonic game, and not a Sonichu game. Ignoring Chris's track record for honest interaction with video game representatives, as of this writing (5 October 2009) Sega has not officially announced what the game is, and major video game review sites like IGN and Gamespot still haven't received any official word from Sega. While it's pretty obvious that it is some sort of Sonic game, the idea that Sega would tell a greasy virgin manchild who rips off their intellectual property what the game is and not anyone else is 100% bullshit.

• Chris claimed that the DVD that trolls procured wasn't the "director's cut", yet the DVD had all the features that had been described before trolls even came into contact with Chris.

• Chris claimed that Blanca received the medallion and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the Medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with Robert Simmons V, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.

• When a nefarious IRL Jerkop confronted Chris on his Attraction Sign, Chris quickly hid the sign while he left to get the Manajerk. Then Chris proceed to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.

• Chris claimed that he was banned from The Game Place forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by Mimms on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the store's manager rudely.

• He claimed in his slideshow for Miyamoto that "Sonichu" was not a portmanteau of "Sonic" and "Pikachu"--he was playing off Sonic's Japanese name, "Sonikku." Anyone with a working brain stem can see through this particular untruth.

• In an email Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.

• After Chris pissed off Megan by posting ShecameforCWC.JPG he proceeded to apologize to her via e-mail, claiming he was "sorry for hurting [her]" and that he was "sorry for uploading the drawing", saying to her "I've learned from my mistakes". He later proved he felt no remorse for the drawing by reuploading the picture for use in Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack, citing the need for "sexy pictures for a sexy website".

• Chris claims that he is the descendant of Daniel Weston, one of the pilgrims on board the Mayflower. This is obviously not true, because according to all known passenger lists, there was no man named Daniel Weston on the ship.

• He has made occasional claims that he really doesn't hate homos, despite several instances of him showing otherwise.

• In an IRC chat with Clyde Cash and BILLY MAYS, Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.

• Impersonated CChanSonichuCWC and called Kacey, telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves recycling).

• Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a video in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that backfired horribly, Chris then issued the SingStar Challenge to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the SingStar Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.

• He claimed to have an IQ of over 300. For perspective, the woman with the highest IQ in the world has an IQ of 230.

• Chris has inserted clearly bullshit disclaimer pages at the front of each issue of his comics where he claims:

“	Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the Sonichu Comics, except that of Christian Weston Chandler, that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic.	”
Chris's disclaimer as it appears in his comics. Does he think he's fooling anybody?

• Pretended to be famed troll "Bill Riley" in an IRC Chat in a miserably failed attempt to learn what the trolls had planned for him. Includes a bizarre moment where he tries to convince the trolls that they should force "That Retard" to rape Rocky Shoemaker.

• Chris told his "fans" in an 18 December 2008 IRC Chat that he won the Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown, among other contests that he truly did win. He even made a fake web page mimicking playstation.com that showed him as the winner of the PaRappa contest.