Chris and politics

“	EID, PMURT, EID	”
Chris's biting political commentary on President-Elect Trump.

Chris, discussing his political opinions

In recent years, Chris has been quite vocal about his political support. He was once a moderate, then shifted left. During the Tomgirl Saga, he shifted further left. His support of LGBT may have been why he has been more vocal about politics.

Political Views

Chris's political views resemble a third grade child's "if I were President" social studies assignment, possessing a shallow understanding of major world issues.

A rather insightful example of his limited understanding of how the world actually works is his video A Public Announcement for Congress, in which Chris explains in detail the actions he would take if elected President of the United States.

One doesn't even need to play the video to know that Chris is full of shit, as the title "A Public Announcement for Congress", contradicts itself. The video is not directed at Congress in any way, but rather is a stump speech directed at the American people. Anyone familiar with Chris's unique manner of speaking knows that he makes a habit of using fancy-sounding words (to him, at least) to make himself sound more intelligent than he actually is. Since Chris has no idea how to actually these words, the results often make him sound even more like a total moron.

A Public Announcement for Congress
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Search for video	Youtube, archive
Stardate	18 October 2010
Subject Matter	Other Politics, Trolls Trolls
Performance Style	Crazy Crazy
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In the video, Chris displays for all the world to see that he has no idea how anything works.

Chris's first 100 days as President would be as follows:

• Use federal funds to create massive government housing complexes in every major city for the homeless.
• Drastically lower the sales tax of the state of Virginia from 5% to 2.5%
• Not lower "benefits" for retirees.
• Subsidize Pharmaceutical costs for retirees.
• Confiscate all firearms owned by civilians.
• Legalize Gay Marriage in every country in the United Nations
• Construct FBI stations to monitor the activities of internet trolls

Ideologically, Chris's views are all over the place, ranging from conservative views such as slashing tax rates in half to extremely left-wings views such as setting up a massive welfare initiative in the form of "soup hotels".

One point of interest is the fact that the "five percent" tax rate Chris talks about cutting in half refers to Virginia's sales tax rate, and not federal income tax. Besides the fact that sales tax rates are set by states and not the federal government, and a President Chandler would have no power to change this, Chris's misunderstanding of the distinction between income and sales tax points to the fact that, to nobody's surprise, Barb most likely did all of his taxes for him for the entire three months out of his entire life he spent working a job.

Since Chris most likely has never seen a W2 in his entire life, his approval of cutting taxes was most likely the influence of his late father. This is also most certainly the case with the next two points, which both relate to benefits for retired persons.

He would also take away all firearms from the civilian population, a direct violation of the Second Amendment of the United States Constitution. He then immediately backtracks on this idea, instead settling to just confiscate and ban the sale of ammunition. This ammunition would then be redistributed to the population in the event of an attack from 'another nation or planet". Not even considering the fact that such a plan would be a logistical nightmare, Chris seems to forget that the United States already has a military to defend itself, so exactly why Chris believes the U.S. population would have to be engaged in Guerrilla-style warfare against a foreign invader is a mystery.

Chris's final proposal is perhaps the most egregious, suggesting that the resources of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, a federal agency which is, among other things, dedicated to stopping foreign and domestic terrorist plots, should be used to investigate people who type "ur gay" over the internet.

In short, Chris's views on politics are mostly the product of the influences of his conservative parents, combined with a well-meaning, yet naive understanding of complex social and political issues like poverty and gun violence.

Chris's Involvement in the Political Process

2008-2012

Chris, to many people's shock and horror, has voted in multiple United States presidential elections. In 2008, Chris voted for Barack Obama His main reason for doing so was the fact that he had watched a set of documentaries on both Obama and his Republican opponent, John McCain. Chris, in True and Honest form, said he voted against McCain because he couldn’t identify with him on a personal level. In December 2008, he stated:

I saw more of myself in Obama when I watched his A&E Biography, than in McCain's A&E Biography; both downloaded from the Playstation Store. Who would you vote for; a war hero that you couldn't feel that much for, or the guy who you feel like is similar to you in social dilemmas?

Exactly what qualities of Barrack Obama an obese manchild saw in himself is currently unknown. Chris elaborated further in 2014, during a date with Catherine:

I kind of felt like um, with my mental stabil-, with my mental problems and whatnot, I felt like I could similarly relate to him? I felt more related, felt more relatable to him in that sense than McCain was. As he was the, uh, prisoner in that other country he insisted, he did not want to be released early. He wanted to go out with the r-, with as s-, at the same time as errybody else. Uh I mean, that is, that is admirable [he pronounces this word all wrong].

Chris would go on to vote for Obama a second time in 2012 for, once again, no real reason besides his claim that he personally identified with him, saying, “I felt like I wanted to make sure that I had good reason to decide from the change and having a first black president. Aside from that, cause if I had done that, if I had done it on just that alone, that would have been racist.”

2016

See also: Pmurt

Chris, after casting his vote for Hillary Clinton

Chris, after learning of the election results

Chris repeatedly made clear his preference for Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton. His main reason for choosing her is that she is a woman. In February 2016, Chris said, "I feel like American [sic] needs a woman's touch finally after all these years" as a reason for why he wanted Hillary Clinton to become president.

Chris slightly developed his political views from the Obama era. Instead of just voting for Clinton because she reminds him of himself, he read up on the issues. Unfortunately, this consisted of skimming clickbait articles written by LGBT activists. He also cited an episode of The Simpsons as one of his major sources for being opposed to Clinton’s opponent, Donald Trump.

When a fan asked him for reasons for vote for Clinton, he responded:

• Hillary will Tax the Fat Cats and fill the middle class and lower and get the country less in debt.

• She is PRO-LGBTQ and Immigrants

• She is more beneficial for EVERYONE in General.

• AND, this country is long Overdue for a Woman's touch.

Chris has also given many reasons for opposing Trump.

On democracy

On 9 November 2016, Chris reacted to news of Donald Trump’s victory over Hillary Clinton by throwing a days-long temper tantrum. During that time, he:

• Asked someone to kill Trump with “a sniper rifle”

• Made videos and Facebook posts depicting the President-elect, and later the Vice President-elect, being murdered in effigy, using Transformers and Legos

• Posted to the comments section of a LGBT Facebook page and asked its readers to pray for Trump’s death

He also signed an online petition asking the Electoral College to disregard the results of the 2016 election and install Clinton into the presidency.

Chris has refused to recognize Pmurt as his president, saying, “Trump is Not president, mayor, or Anything in Cwcville.

Social issues

On 15 November 2015, Chris wrote a piece on the ISIS attacks in France.

He demonstrated a very simplistic notion of ISIS, comparing it to a cartoon villain “looking to gather energies and power for themselves.”

He also tried to understand the motives of the terrorists by using his own life experiences against trolls, saying “I feel the terrorists, regardless of country, are misguided with paranoia and fear of others.”

His solution for world peace is simply to “stand together, combining our hearts and souls in the efforts to share the lights of friendship and love.” This ignores all underlying motives for sociopolitical tensions, and is a solution more fitting for a fight among small children.

What makes a patriot?

In the 2009 Father Call, Matthew called out Chris on his lack of patriotism, for making Twin Falling Towers, saying, “Don't tell me you're an American.” Chris took it literally, responding with “I was born in America, I was raised in America my whole life, I never left the United States of America.”

See also

• Barack Obama
• Pmurt