Death threats
Chris often goes on about how much he hates someone, or wants someone to suffer. In these rants, Chris occasionally crosses the line, and lets slip the fact that he honestly wants someone to die as horribly as possible. These death threats became increasingly common since 2009.
Means of delivery
On a few occasions, Chris has dedicated special time and energy to immortalize his desire to kill in his comic. In these works, the person Chris wishes to destroy is often depicted as a purely evil villain, hellbent on the destruction of our innocent manchild hero. While these are much more noticeable than his other threats, they are also more infrequent, as Chris is lazy, and often unwilling to dedicate the time and energy to hurting his enemies in fiction. This list does not include real people who have been fictionalized and then assaulted by Chris in the comics, but rather, actual people who Chris has actually threatened.
The majority of Chris's cries for blood were delivered via YouTube videos. Compared to murdering somebody in a comic, raging into a camera is very easy, and it allows Chris much more opportunity to scream and shout like the child he is.
Targets
Either Chris's store of rage has steadily grown over years of trolling, or he's simply grown desensitized to the implications of calling for another person's death. While at one point it was a very rare occurrence for Chris to threaten for the death of his enemies, towards the end of 2009 and early 2010 Chris began screaming for murderous vengeance and penning elaborate, violent fantasies in the pages of his comic on a frighteningly regular basis.
Adam Stackhouse
One of Chris's earliest and broadest death threats, the primary target of which was Adam Stackhouse, the winner of Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown in 2007. Chris's primary complaint was that Adam's video featured his sister Anna in a supporting role, along with some beatboxing (neither of which was actually against the rules). He also had similar complaints about the second and third-placed videos, and so wrote a PSN Blog entry which included the following:
| “ | I curse those seven people (between the cast of the three illegal videos) to DIE and BURN! | ” |
| Chris's idea of a calm response to disappointment | ||
By itself, this could be written off as simply wishing death upon someone, but Chris wasn't content to leave it at that; he elevated it to an actual death threat by creating a video, the first two minutes of which featured nothing but Chris repeatedly shooting a picture of the Stackhouses. Whether or not the threats towards Adam (and the second and third-place guys) were taken seriously, many felt that he was crossing the line by bringing Anna (who is considerably younger than Adam or Chris) into the matter, which is probably why he eventually removed the video from YouTube.
In a rare act, Chris actually retracted and apologised for this death threat... about thirteen months after he first issued it. The offending blog entry was deleted by a PSN admin, after Chris responded to an earlier request to remove it himself by telling the admin in question to "SHUT UP AND GO READ THE OFFICIAL RULES!!!!" (earning himself a temporary ban from PSN in the process).
Jack Thaddeus
On Christmas Day 2009, Chris uploaded a video aptly titled "Kill De Jack", making public his great desire for Jack to die. So much for goodwill towards men. Oddly, he never actually physically demanded that Jack be murdered in the course of the video, spending most of his time bitching about the homosexual ads that Jack had placed on the CWCipedia.
| “ | And to go back to the current topic, Kill de Jack Thaddeus. | ” |
| Chris, changing topics. | ||
Chris verbally stated his intent to murder Jack on 26 December 2009. Then on the 27th Chris uploaded another video, where he switched it up by demanding that Jack save Chris the trouble, and kill himself. These demands that Jack and Clyde murder themselves soon became the norm, showing up in videos, blog entries, and scattered about on the CWCipedia. Needless to say, Jack continued to refuse to kill himself.
Unable to slay his enemy in the real world, Chris returned to his old revenge proxy — the Sonichu comics. In Sonichu #10, Chris trapped Jack and Clyde Cash on top of the 4-cent_garbage.com building, and then assaulted it with powerful soundwaves. This compromised the building's structural integrity, and effectively doomed everyone inside it to death and dismemberment. Jack and Clyde, unable to escape the crumbling tower, opted to throw themselves down the elevator shaft to escape being crushed under the rubble. These pages prove once and for all that Chris is more than willing to slaughter hundreds just to get back at someone who was mean to him on the Internet.
Clyde Cash
| “ | EEEEEEENNNNNNNNGH! I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! | ” |
| Chris, while smiling evilly. | ||
The undisputed leader and hero of all of Chris's trolls, Clyde Cash has been on the receiving end of his fair share of death threats. The sheer hatred Chris holds for Clyde is impressive all by itself. With the other trolls, Chris has at least tried to appear subtle about his dark intentions, or at least demands their deaths relatively infrequently. Where Clyde is concerned, Chris is extremely upfront and clear about his desire to murder Cash. Even Clyde faking his own suicide was not enough to escape Chris's wrath.
| “ | CLYDE DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU ARE DEAAAD! YOU ARE DEAD! YOU ARE DEAD! | ” |
| Chris, somewhat angry. | ||
Thereafter, Chris's cries for Clyde's blood upon took on much more serious undertones. While his earlier threats of strangulation and being forced to eat his own underwear were done with no apparent attempt to follow through on his dark words, more recent threats have come with demands that Clyde should come and face Chris in person, so that Chris might physically extract his revenge. It could be inferred by this that Chris has indeed planned out exactly what his course of action would be if Clyde did suddenly show up at his front door.
| “ | You come to me. I will fight you! I will CRUSH YOU! | ” |
| Chris, asking for a fight. | ||
Chris posted another video in which he roleplayed encountering Clyde Cash in real life. Upon being insulted by 'Clyde', Chris proceeded to pretend to beat up, choke, and finally slit the throat of the imaginary Clyde with a real knife, all as a warning to other trolls.
Chris's threats against Clyde culminated in a video where he ordered his execution, with a Shadow the Hedgehog doll standing in for the "Cashey-type person".
Finally, there's the matter of Clyde's family. It's not enough for Chris to merely murder Clyde. Chris has shown that he feels the entire Cash family line is just as deserving of his rage as Clyde, and has stated this outright. The fact that this is essentially a small scale act of genocide has apparently not occurred to him.
| “ | THIS IS FOR CLYDE CASH TO EVERY LAST ONE OF HIS FAMILY MEMBERS INCLUDING HIS COUSIN VIVIAN! | ” |
| Chris, Immediately before sinking his teeth into a doll's head. | ||
Alec Benson Leary
While Chris has no problem calling Sonichu a parody in a misguided effort to avoid copyright infringement and create a moneymaking franchise, when someone actually parodies Sonichu or any of his other creations, he goes right off the deep end. Alec Benson Leary is the gentle and kind creator of Asperchu, which is effectively a parody of Sonichu himself as well as Chris's hatred of everything Asperger's and "seemingly" homosexual. For a few weeks after the comic's debut, Chris ignored Asperchu, regarding it as nothing more than a simple parody. Soon enough, however, many of his fans began abandoning Sonichu for Asperchu, and announcing their intentions in his Mailbag.
On January 9, 2010, the first Captain's Log of that year, Chris called out Alec Benson Leary after advertisements for the Asperchu wiki (the Asperpedia) started showing up on the CWCipedia (replacing the homoerotic ads that had been an earlier source of turmoil). Not amused with the new ads or his Sonichu's appearance in the comics, Chris started raging out.
| “ | DIE, you son of a bitch, Alec, die! | ” |
| Chris, being Chris as usual. | ||
Alec represents the first time Chris has ever issued a public death threat to someone who had shown him respect. While most of the other individuals Chris has threatened have been antagonistic towards him, all of Alec's public communications up to that point had been a combination of respect and admiration. The only reasons Chris had to hate Alec was the fact that his character is overweight and his website runs on the same Mediawiki software. A few days later, Chris claimed that he knew where Alec lived in the description to one of his videos. Fortunately for Alec, it was just another lie.
While delivering an in-depth analysis of Asperchu, Chris threatened to have the ghost of his dog Patti maul Alec to death in his sleep in hell. It is unclear if he realizes he implied Patti Chandler is in hell. Alec has responded to this most recent threat by using his Adspace on the CWCipedia to ask people to donate to victims of the earthquake in Haiti. Clearly, Alec is just as horrible a man as Chris claims him to be. Chris finally took his hatred of Alec to its conclusion in late February, slaughtering him in Sonichu #10 alongside Sean, Evan and Mao.
Surfshack Tito
On 2 March 2010, after Surfshack Tito hacked in to Chris's PSN account, he weakly threatened that (Tito) would "get yours in your dreams- your- in your nightmares", while also firing a Curse Shot. Twelve days later, in his video "Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!", he threatens Tito with his pocket knife and a panty shot in a kilt. Chris believed that Tito was the main reason The Wallflower stopped talking to him; the actual cause for their separation was partly due to concerned trolls and partly due to Chris's refusal to be "friend-zoned". In either case, Chris's threat did not work; instead, he offended countless citizens of Ireland and the United Kingdom in the same way he offended Native Americans in his War Paint Video.
On 17 March 2010, Chris made his most threatening video yet: in it, he accused Surfshack Tito of being the Man in the Pickle Suit, a womanizer, and a rapist; called him a nigger; and promised to cut him up and squeeze his fat into his skull until it bursts open. This blatant display of racism is generally considered to be the event that prompted Jack Thaddeus to pull all of his ads from the CWCipedia. The Cwcipedia was then taken over by Mao, allowing the Asperpedia Four to totally wreck Chris's shit.
Chris as recipient
Chris said he allegedly received a death threat ("YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEAD!") from Michael Snyder on 4th June 2010. Given that Chris was trespassing at the GAMe PLACe again, and that Mike was under the impression that Chris was trying to photograph his daughter, this outburst seems fairly reasonable. Chris responded very negatively to this threat, bitching about the "verbal harassment" in his next video.
Earlier, during the Ivy Saga, Chris received a death threat from a Clyde Cash impersonator. Despite all of his tough talk, Chris was completely paralyzed by fear and actually shat his bed in terror. Before Ivy could convince him that the threat was an empty one, he had placed a decoy in his soiled bed and hidden under a pile of stuffed animals, as if he were a child hiding from the boogeyman.