Lars Is Jivin'.MP4
Lars Is Jivin' is a video Chris uploaded on 30 September 2010. In it, Chris addresses Lars again, comparing a toy boat he sent Jackie to a tape dispenser. Chris then decides the best way to get his point across is to abuse his camera, again. He removed the video just a few hours after uploading it. He later uploaded a new, longer version on 2 October.
Judging by the unusual video format (Chris normally makes videos in .MOV format), and the blindingly obvious jump-cuts, it would appear Chris has actually taken some time to edit this video. Unfortunately, it's safe to say that this was to hide the fact he failed to hit the camera with the tape dispenser on the first take.
Description
| Nothin' but a jivin' turkey gourd. |
Video
| Lars Is Jivin' | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 30 September 2010 |
| Subject Matter |  Trolls,  Violence
|
| Performance Style |  Crazy,  Smug
|
| Saga |  Jackie
|
| Shirt |  The Shamrock Stripes
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous New Address |
next 100 2261.MOV |
Transcript
[Stares at camera with an angry look on face, cocks head, jump-cut] Oh yeah, one more thing, Laaaaars. You know-s-you sent her the dangin' ol' boat made out of popsicle sticks and a weak condom wrapper for a sail. You know what she did with that? [holds up a tape dispenser] This your bu-
[Jump cut, throws tape dispenser at the camera] She threw that piece of shit away! That little piece is cheap as shit. It was so cheap, it was as cheap as that tape dispenser! [Stares bewilderly off into space for a moment.]
[Another jump cut] ... I'm out! Peace.
Full version
Having taken down the original video a few hours after uploading it, Chris uploaded a longer version of the video on 2 October 2010. While the final part of the video is almost identical to the original short version, Chris has slightly re-edited it.
| Lars Is Jivin' | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 2 October 2010 |
| Subject Matter | Trolls, Violence
|
| Performance Style | Crazy, Smug
|
| Saga | Jackie
|
| Shirt | The Shamrock Stripes
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous New Address |
next 100 2261.MOV |
Transcript
[ There is a 'sproing' noise as Chris activates the camera. He frowns and begins talking in what he doubtless believes to be a manly baritone.]
Yo Lars, listen up y'all. I got a b- I got a bigger message to tell ya! Imyaghda- I been tellin' you before, I been kinda civil, but I gotta yell it out to ya. JACKIE IS OVER YOU! You jivin' turkey! Now I tell you somethin', I tell you something' else, yo. She left you because of all the goddamn boats! [producing a sheet of paper] Now I'll read to you what she told me, and I quote: "You wasted all your money on all them stupid boats!" And you le- she left you! Because you would never... treat her right or take her out anywhere because of it. [Gangsta hand gesture]
And she got fed up of all the goddamn boats over the goddamn apartment! [garbling somewhat] Half of them not even taken out of their package! Because- because you just bought them for the sake of buying them! [he puts down the paper and looks outraged] I mean, you mofo! You took -you even bought ridiculous paint and accessory kits for boats you didn't even own! You paid for a whole bunch of useless stuff you're never going to use anyway, you jivin' turkey!
Yeah, right I call you a jivin' turkey, mofo! [he produces another piece of paper. This one is folded in half and has a picture of a black rapper on it, although the lighting makes it impossible to distinguish whom] And that's what you is, yo, a jivin' turkey! [folds over the paper, revealing that he has drawn a yellow vegetable on the other side. A hole has been cut for the rapper's face, making it look like he is wearing an anorak.]Jivin', squashed, stupid old turkey! [he tears the paper asunder, and vacuums the shreds up, fumbling them somewhat.]
Down the jivin' yo'self, mofo! I tell you somethin' else. You ain't never gonna get her back. She's been LONG over you, boy! All day long, all week long. She never gonna be ... ['tapping' an imaginary Jackie] I gonna be tapping that sweet ass of hers. [Continuing to mime]I spank her ass because she wants it. She asked me for it! You know what, she ain't- you ain't getting that request no mo', mofo! Jivin' turkey! You ever come near us, I beat yo' ass! [as he squeaks 'beat' he punches his hand] Beat yo' ass to the whole- the other side of the state of [punches his hand a few times, possibly while he tries to remember] Texas, where my dad went to, except for a while.
[Stares at camera with an angry look on face, cocks head, jump-cut] Oh yeah, one more thing, Laaaaars. You know-s-you sent her the dangin' ol' boat made out of popsicle sticks and a weak condom wrapper for a sail. You know what she did with that? [holds up a tape dispenser] This your bu-
[Jump cut, throws tape dispenser at the camera] She threw that piece of shit away! That little piece is cheap as shit. It was so cheap, it was as cheap as that tape dispenser! [Stares bewilderly off into space for a moment.]
[Another jump cut] ... I'm out! Peace.
See also
| ⇐ New Address | Chris's videos | 100 2261.MOV ⇒ |