User:Old meme/Sandbox 5
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PROTIP:
There is a circle of hell specifically devoted to faggots who parrot this meme. This joke is no longer funny, so stop abusing it.
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For the sake of clarity, the Sonichu fan base has come to refer to the real Chris as "Liquid Chris", while the impostor has been dubbed "Solid Chris".
CWCivil War
Using Liquid's announcement of official Sonichu merchandise for sale as a pretext, on 22 July Solid began to decry Liquid as the impostor. Of course, since Liquid really isn't the impostor, Solid was forced to use some extremely bizarre reasoning to prove his assertion, focusing primarily on the absurd claim that Liquid's beloved Sonichu medallion is made of paper. Solid also proceeded to leave inflammatory comments on Liquid's videos:
| “ | "GIVE IT UP, Dumbass. YOU are Not Me, the Real CWC, and you Wish you Were. I Challenge you to Sow yourself in my Real Life Presence, O I can really give you a piece of my mind.
No Peace, Christian C." |
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| “ | "Hey, DUMBASS! YOU WISH YOU WERE ME! I would say YOU are Stuck... IN MINUS-SECOND-GEAR!
I am Calling YOU OUT! 14 Branchland Ct. Ruckersville, VA BEFORE August 2, 2009. If you really WANT to be me, then Come Face Me. oh, BTW, YOUR NASAL VOICE IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "NAIVE", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD. But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS. You are a Nerd and a Whimp! Have a good day. Christopher Christian Weston Chandler" |
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Of course, this challenge is insincere on its face. Since Liquid lives at 14 Branchland Ct, there was nowhere for him to go, and nothing to force Solid to show up.
In their next confrontation on 26 July, Liquid announced the development of a Sonichu video game and the beginning of his relationship with Kacey. He also revealed crucial information he had uncovered about his hated doppleganger:
It is I again, Christian Weston Chandler. NOT Christopher Christian Weston Chandler as EVERYONE KNOWS I Changed my name FROM Christopher to Christian (PS: That Troll, as Some have now Informed Me, his Real Name is IAN BRANDON ANDERSON).
Solid also posted a video on 26 July, apparently believing that showing a few printouts of Sonichu comics, which anyone can obtain, proves that he is the one who drew them. By now it was clear that Ian's modus operandi would be to attempt to prove his claims by demonstrating skills that the real Christian Weston Chandler also possessed. On 29 July Solid played Guitar Hero and spoke in Spanish; Liquid responded by playing a real guitar and speaking four languages. Finally, in a dramatic demonstration, Ian shaved off his beard, as if we would somehow forget that he had one in the first place.
Contact with Kacey
While harassing Liquid, Ian attempted to manipulate his true sweetheart and future wife Kacey. Ian spoke to Kacey over the phone, posing as Liquid. Of course, since Ian has perfected his impersonation, even Kacey was unable to tell who she was really speaking to, causing her to reveal mature honest content and endure Ian's disgusting sexual advances. Ian would also attempt to convince Kacey that he is the true Chris in a video, where he obviously spliced together footage of Liquid drawing Sonichu with footage of Solid holding up a printout of the same drawing. Ian has consistently shown affection toward Kacey, going so far as to suggest he can only tolerate Liquid out of respect for Kacey's feelings. It is evident that this is merely a ploy to make himself look like the bigger man and thereby seduce Kacey into becoming his Woman Slave.
SingStar Challenge
- Main article: SingStar Challenge
Having clearly lost his nerve in the face of the true CWC, Ian Brandon Anderson issued a challenge to Liquid, in which they would each sing five songs and let a panel of six judges (chosen by the Chrises) determine the winner. The wisdom of this proposal was seriously questioned, as it is well known that the TRUE and HONEST Chris has the voice of an angel with a Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby flavor. Trolls and Sonichu fans alike considered the SingStar Challenge to be a referendum on the issue of who, indeed, is the real Chris-chan.
Halfway through the contest, it was already apparent that Liquid was winning. A visibly defeated Ian began appealing to Chris's famously deep spirituality, and requested that Liquid's final song be "Lift Up Your Eyes". However, Liquid, in a daring gambit, responded by forcing the impostor to sing "Smell Yo Dick". Ian resisted, but eventually sang the song perfectly, demonstrating that he cannot be the true Chris because he likes to smell men's dicks. In the aftermath of the contest, Solid has repeatedly insisted that there was never anything at stake, and that Liquid's overwhelming victory settled nothing.
Shit just got real
Immediately after Chris's announcement that he would be leaving YouTube to focus on the Sonichu media empire and his beloved fiance Kacey, a video was posted on his account in which Liquid is seen restrained in a filthy room while Ian Brandon Anderson taunts him. It is believed that, as of this writing, Ian has invaded 14 Branchland Ct., captured Chris, and gained access to Chris's YouTube account. Thus far, Ian's own YouTube account has shown no indication of these events, perhaps to establish a veil of plausible deniability.
As a result of Ian's kidnapping of Chris, it can be presumed that any further authentication Ian presents has been illegally obtained from Liquid's home. Future videos in which Ian holds up academic degrees, photo albums, and Sonichu artwork cannot be taken at face value, and should not be considered evidence that Ian Brandon Anderson is the real Christopher Christian Ricardo Weston Chandler.
CWCki joins the rest of the Sonichu community in hoping for a speedy resolution to this nightmare, and offers their prayers for the safe return of Liquid Chris.
LIQUID LIVES!
On 15 October, a video was posted on Liquid's account, explaining how Ian kidnapped him, apparently raped while he was unconscious and left him for dead in the Sahara desert. However, being the butthurt retard he is, Ian soon after posted a video denying everything.
Sauces