Difference between revisions of "Chris and money"
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==But wait, Chris isn't employed! == | ==But wait, Chris isn't employed! == | ||
Chris is what most would call a welfare leech. Chris's only source of income is the $800 [[monthly tugboat|"tugboat"]] that he receives from the federal government every month. Chris's parents take $450 to pay for room and board.<ref>Miyamoto Saga</ref> | Chris is what most would call a welfare leech. Chris's only source of income is the $800 [[monthly tugboat|"tugboat"]] that he receives from the federal government every month, placing his annual income at $9,600 a year. Chris's parents take $450 to pay for room and board.<ref>Miyamoto Saga</ref> | ||
{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. |Chris, completely deluded.}} | {{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. |Chris, completely deluded.}} |
Revision as of 09:54, 29 March 2010
It's obvious that Chris himself has no grasp on the real value of money, since he actively wastes as much of his monthly tugboat as possible on luxuries like trading cards, sex toys, porn, video games, and, more recently, alcohol. He also once, when giving out the laws of CWCville, equated 10 years in prison to a $1,500 fine.[1] He also equated 50 hours of community service to $500 (for any sexual violations).[2]
Chris is a self-admitted impulse buyer. His PSN account shows that he's never played more than half of the games he's bought. And yet, astoundingly, he's still gone out of his way to buy all available downloadable content for every PS3 game that he's ever purchased, and he also further promoted his Sony fanboyism by later buying a Sony LCD HDTV for his bedroom which likely cost at least about $1,000-$1,500. All the while, Chris buys his clothes at second-hand discount thrift stores.
But wait, Chris isn't employed!
Chris is what most would call a welfare leech. Chris's only source of income is the $800 "tugboat" that he receives from the federal government every month, placing his annual income at $9,600 a year. Chris's parents take $450 to pay for room and board.[3]
“ | My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. | ” |
Chris, completely deluded. |
Chris has repeatedly stated that Bob encourages him not to bother with a job, as it would void his Social Security status. Bob's encouragement indicates one of two things: he knows his son is an incapable failure (after watching Chris's disastrous employment at Wendy's), or he's instructing Chris on being a parasite.
Chris strongly believes that by receiving and spending his tugboat on useless shit he is aiding the economy and paying for the tugboat of others.[4] This is complete dumbassery since sales tax goes to the state government and these "tugboats" are paid with federal income tax. Apparently, this is too complex for Chris's autistic mind. Where Chris is hiding the printing press to afford this discretionary spending is unknown.
Interestingly enough, while he has no clue how to handle money, Chris has an unhealthy fixation on his material possessions. In Vivitheg's AIM chat, he stated that he did not want to sell any of his stuff; and in the Miyamoto Saga, he refused to sell anything to help raise money for the trip to Redmond.
Credit cards
As surprising as it is that Chris has his own credit cards, it is equally unsurprising how unwisely he uses them. Chris has managed to rack up $2,000 worth of debt (according to Mumble 4, 1000 of which comes from the PSN store, but this number has increased over the past few weeks) and has even stolen his parents' credit cards to use when his were maxed out. Being the greedy twat that he is, when Chris finally does make payments towards his debts, he always does so in the smallest installments possible, freeing himself to spend as much as he has (or more) on worthless shit, entirely oblivious to the fact that he's only increasing his debt by letting interest charges rack up. Economists are currently working on the theory that it is Chris's debts, not the collapse of financial institutions, which have caused the current global financial crisis.
Debtors
Based on current projections, it won't be long before the repo men are called in and Chris is forced to forfeit his PlayStation 3. And considering that Chris has an unnatural obsession with his worthless crap we can expect a lot of BAWWWWING when the day comes. We eagerly await the inevitable inclusion of the Jerkollectors, or perhaps the Repo Gang, in future comics. Debt, like anything else that represents a challenge to his ignorant bliss, is just another example of the world trying to keep him down.
If only he had taken money from the loan sharks, maybe then would they beat the crap out of his HFA ass. Chris would only continue spending, of course, and definitely bitch about it on YouTube.
In the comic
In the comic it is clear Chris has no idea how money works. Sonichu, Rosechu, Patti-Chan, and most likely, all of the other characters live off welfare, just like Chris IRL. He seems to have no concept of tax, or that it's the American populace who pay for his bullshit. Sonichu and Rosechu are living in a two story house with an attic offered by the city and they are "paid" in average of $3,500 a month just to hang around.
This, along with what else we know about CWCville, could mean that Chris is a communist, or at the very least, a socialist. Of course, he's most likely too much of a retard to actually know what that means.
In Episode 19, it's shown that CWCVille actually uses its own currency, in the form of C Quarters, W Quarters, and C Quarters. 10 C Quarters make up a W Quarter, and 10 W Quarters make up a C Quarter. Don't bother asking how that makes sense in any way, especially considering what the word "quarter" means.
In other works
Chris shows us his complete misunderstanding of the stress his ideas would put on the American Social Security system if he was left in charge of it in a text called "A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story." This is where the idea of "Soup Hotels" came from.
“ | Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels. | ” |
Chris with a very bad idea... |
So, what is a "Soup Hotel"? Chris describe it in the Mailbag 20 as a building ten stories floor tall with 10 to 20 rooms per floor, equipped with single bathrooms, bed, lighting and Cable TV. Of course, the homeless will stay there for free. So, instead of building Homeless shelters with dormitories, commons rooms and shared TV sets, Chris think the homeless should be treated to all the comforts of a bona fide hotel. This means that, in CWCville, there're around 1000-2000 homeless people left outside. This might be the result of the local industry, chocked by heavy taxes needed to pay those social expenses, are unable to make a profit there and are moving away.
In Sonichu 10, Ultra Sonichu and bevy of Rosechus stop at a soup hotel. The building is labeled Soup Hotel 17, implying that CWCville has had to open 7 new homeless shelters in the span of a month, or they're just bad at numbering the things.
In Mailbag 29 he states that $10 an hour is a reasonable price to pay for sex with a prostitute. To show his further ignorance of simple economics, Chris proposed a chain of state-run brothels where this shockingly inexpensive fee would not only pay women for sex, pay the salary of a pimp (which would be a redundant middleman in a state-approved brothel), pay for STD testing for the prostitutes, but would also pay for free Sex Ed classes for virgins. In real life, Chris tried to scam his way out of paying for sex with a Craigslist prostitute (who was charging $100 for the hour) by telling her about the trolls, his life story, and his many personal problems. The prostitute hung up on him.
In Mailbag 45, Chris claims he has "already donated a healthy sum into the funds that have exceeded $57 million" after being asked if he had donated to help Haiti.
See also
- Monthly tugboat - what Chris calls his welfare check.
Sauce
Chris and... |
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