Difference between revisions of "That Goatee WILL Grow Back"

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[[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]] (officially '''Christian Weston Chandler - It Took Me Weeks to Perfect that Goatee, but it WILL Grow Back''') is a video from 31 [[July 2009]], in which [[Chris]] tries to go back to his old self to address concerns that he's an impostor based on the fact he doesn't wear his medallion, striped shirts, and having a goatee.
[[File:Asperchutthegoateewillgrowback.png|center|900px]]


In it, Chris [[fail|fails]] at shaving while Lift Up Your Eyes by [[Wikipedia:Planetshakers|Planetshakers]] plays in the background for emotional effect. Because, you know, it's definitely not creepy to violently shave yourself to Christian pop-rock.
'''That Goatee WILL Grow Back''' (officially '''Christian Weston Chandler - It Took Me Weeks to Perfect that Goatee, but it WILL Grow Back''') is a [[video]] uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 31 [[July 2009]]. In it, [[Chris]] goes back to his old self after concerns regarding him being a [[Clown shirt|stripe]]less, [[medallion]]less, goatee-sporting [[Ian Brandon Anderson|impostor]] by violently failing at shaving while Christian pop-rock blares in the background for emotional effect.


If Chris was smart and taught how to shave properly, he would have used shaving [[semen|cream]] (or at least some olive oil), soap, a mirror (which he got rid of to deter [[homos]]exual urges), and water, but because he's Chris he will have to put up with razor burn for the next two weeks.
If Chris were smart and knew how to shave properly, he would have used shaving cream (or at least some olive oil), soap, a mirror, and water, or at least buy an electric razor - but because he's Chris, he instead chose a method that probably gave him at least two weeks' worth of razor burn. That he isn't at all bleeding from the aggressive dry-shaving he does probably attests to [[Chris and health#Hygiene|how greasy his skin is]].
 
Chris did regrow the goatee for a time later in the year, but not for long, and it wasn't styled quite the same way. Over a decade later, Chris would grow a full beard while in [[jail]], as depicted in [[OfficialCWCmart Jail Art#"I Had Returned Home", undated|one piece of artwork]]. Chris shaved his beard immediately upon release. Considering Chris's [[transgender]] lifestyle change, it probably will never come back to stay.


==Video==
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name          = Christian Weston Chandler - It Took Me Weeks to Perfect that Goatee, but it WILL Grow Back
| ytid          = fZ4A_Wr90L4
| stardate      = 31 [[July 2009]]
| style          = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga          = {{Liquid|text}}
| shirt          = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| previous      = [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]
| next          = [[SingStar Challenge|SingStar Challenge Announcement]]
}}


<center>{{#ev:youtube|VdZXqEwaXkc}}</center>
=== Transcript ===
 
[''Chris removes his glasses and speaks inaudibly to the camera as "Lift Up Your Eyes" by {{w|Planetshakers}} plays over him. He puts his glasses down, removes his waistcoat and takes off a medallion inscribed with the phrase "THE TIME OF MY LIFE", which he shows to the camera and then discards. He begins taking vertical and horizontal swipes across his chin with a razor with alarming force and without any cream, soap, or water. The head launches off from the handle, and he picks it back up, reattaches it, and resumes. After a few more strokes, the head pops out again. After further scraping, he seems to put this razor down and pick up a new one. We jump cut to Chris with the new razor, and the head pops out before just barely touching his face. He reattaches it and continues. After more shaving, he stops to check for unshaven areas; he then resumes, checks, resumes, checks, finds it to his satisfaction and the video ends''.]
===Transcript===
 
[''CWC removes his glasses and speaks inaudibly to the camera as "Lift Up Your Eyes" by the Christian church music group, "Planetshakers" plays over him. He puts his glasses down, removes his waistcoat and takes off a medallion inscribed with the phase "THE TIME OF MY LIFE" which he shows to the camera and then discards. Using a safety razor but no cream he begins taking vertical and horizontal swipes across his chin with alarming force. The head comes loose from the handle and falls to the ground. He picks it back up, reattaches it and resumes. After a few more stokes he does this again. After further scraping he seems to put this razor down and pick up a new one. The head falls off yet again and he reattaches it and continues. After more shaving he stops to check for unshaven areas, he then resumes, checks, resumes, checks, finds it to his satisfaction and the video ends''.]


{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]|nextlink=[[C.W.C. - Thank You :)]]|}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]|nextlink=[[SingStar Challenge|SingStar Challenge Announcement]]|}}
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}


[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, July 2009| 2009-07-31]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-07-31]]

Latest revision as of 05:13, 9 November 2024

Asperchutthegoateewillgrowback.png

That Goatee WILL Grow Back (officially Christian Weston Chandler - It Took Me Weeks to Perfect that Goatee, but it WILL Grow Back) is a video uploaded to YouTube on 31 July 2009. In it, Chris goes back to his old self after concerns regarding him being a stripeless, medallionless, goatee-sporting impostor by violently failing at shaving while Christian pop-rock blares in the background for emotional effect.

If Chris were smart and knew how to shave properly, he would have used shaving cream (or at least some olive oil), soap, a mirror, and water, or at least buy an electric razor - but because he's Chris, he instead chose a method that probably gave him at least two weeks' worth of razor burn. That he isn't at all bleeding from the aggressive dry-shaving he does probably attests to how greasy his skin is.

Chris did regrow the goatee for a time later in the year, but not for long, and it wasn't styled quite the same way. Over a decade later, Chris would grow a full beard while in jail, as depicted in one piece of artwork. Chris shaved his beard immediately upon release. Considering Chris's transgender lifestyle change, it probably will never come back to stay.

Video

Christian Weston Chandler - It Took Me Weeks to Perfect that Goatee, but it WILL Grow Back
Click to load content
Direct link YouTube, archive
Stardate 31 July 2009
Performance Style CrazyCrazy Crazy
Saga LiquidLiquid Liquid Chris
Shirt Classic ShirtClassic Shirt The Classic
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
previous
CWC Update 29 July 2009 		next
SingStar Challenge Announcement


Transcript

[Chris removes his glasses and speaks inaudibly to the camera as "Lift Up Your Eyes" by Planetshakers plays over him. He puts his glasses down, removes his waistcoat and takes off a medallion inscribed with the phrase "THE TIME OF MY LIFE", which he shows to the camera and then discards. He begins taking vertical and horizontal swipes across his chin with a razor with alarming force and without any cream, soap, or water. The head launches off from the handle, and he picks it back up, reattaches it, and resumes. After a few more strokes, the head pops out again. After further scraping, he seems to put this razor down and pick up a new one. We jump cut to Chris with the new razor, and the head pops out before just barely touching his face. He reattaches it and continues. After more shaving, he stops to check for unshaven areas; he then resumes, checks, resumes, checks, finds it to his satisfaction and the video ends.]

⇐ CWC Update 29 July 2009 Chris's videos SingStar Challenge Announcement ⇒

v • d • e  
The CWCivil War of 2009
IBAChandler • CChanSonichuCWC
Videos by IBAChandler
SingStar Challenge
Announcement and Rules • Rounds: 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5
Other people
Contact
SHOWDOWN • Kacey calls (1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 • 10 • 11 • 12 • 13 • 14 • 15 • 16 • 17 • 18 • 19 • 20 • 21 • 22 • 23 • 24) • Father Call • Kacey and Liquid Call • The End For Real
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