LittleBigPlanet

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File:Stephen fry.jpg

Stephen Fry, LittleBigPlanet's narrator and the very anti-thesis of Chris in many respects, being that he is intelligent, witty, and charming, as opposed to a bumbling moron.

LittleBigPlanet (also known as "Little Pig Blanket" as Chris mysteriously pronounces it as) is a platformer game for the PS3, widely regarded by raging Sony fanboys to be a highly innovative title. It is one of the most successful PS3 exclusive releases and also the best game EVAR, even better than GayLo 3, lol. Critics claim that the game is not exactly as innovative as the fans make it out to be, what with platformers, and even player-editable platformers, having a long history but they're full of shit 'cus PS3 is hid-def and best console evar.

While the game had a very promising start, storm clouds started to gather when Chris got his claws on LittleBigPlanet beta, and started posting videos that show his enthusiastic approval of the game and his amazing custom levels. If we'd ask the opinion of the Sony Fans, they would undoubtedly like to remind people that Chris's levels and antics are not representative of the LittleBigPlanet community as a whole. Unfortunately, no one's asking their opinion.

Chris and LBP

Sackboy says: The rumors that the only game worth playing on PS3 is on other consoles too is completely true. Get it now.

Chris is a huge fan of the game. He participated in the beta, and was very annoyed that he had to take a whole week of a break between the beta expiration and the official release and was also terribly concerned about whether or not his creations from beta would still work in the real game. When LBP was released, it made Chris go off the Internet for about two months (November 2008 - December 2008). Chris now has 100% of trophies for LittleBigPlanet. LittleBigPlanet's main character, "Sack Boy", has appeared in several ill-placed adverts throughout his comics (most prominently in the preview for Sonichu 10, which was released before the blackout).

The biggest reason Chris latched onto LittleBigPlanet was that it let him make Sonichu: The Game. Seriously, that's all he ever wanted. There just weren't any idiot-proof game development platforms; they require unreasonable things like learning something about game design. With LittleBigPlanet, everyone can mash a level together! Or so the theory goes...

The title is a manifestation of Sony faggotry (often pulled out by fanboys to attack the Hex Bawx), which is possibly another reason Chris likes it so much.

It is also worth noting the irony, that Chris's favorite video game is narrated by Stephen Fry, a well known homosexual author, actor, comedian, narrator (for classic literature and film), Atheist (and proponent of the supremecy of science, as opposed to theism) as well as an advocate for gay rights.

Not everything is rosy in Chris's LittleBigPlanet world, though: He has had problems saving his profile, because he has collected so much stuff - and there is a certain limit on how much you can carry. In response, he created "collector's cases" to help him store all his crap. In the ScrewAttackEurope interview, he hoped that there would be "expandable memory usage" to allow him to save more junk. (All this is not entirely surprising, considering how much junk he and his family keeps around in real life, too.) In the same interview he's also hoping he could transfer some of the collected stuff to the PSP version of LittleBigPlanet as well. (We all know his opinion on giving away his material possessions, don't we?)

Since Chris has no idea what porting a game to different platform usually entails, he also thinks that the pirates made versions of LittleBigPlanet for Wii and Xbox 360 before the game was even out. (This is all obviously false, though we can pretty much expect a pirate NES Mario hack to surface in Hong Kong any day now.)

Chris vs. Sony vs. LBP Community

Sony have become best friends and worst enemies over LittleBigPlanet. Chris's "PS3 History" videos were featured on the LittleBigPlanet's main page. Plenty of lulz were to be had on the site's forums, when trolls began to link and post the many NOODZ of the creator.

Sony Europe also have pulled his Sonichu levels several weeks later under grounds of "Copyright Infringement" - some say he was just one of the casualties of a larger effort to curb widespread and blatant copyright infringements, others obviously argue the whole forum furor was, indeed, the casus belli of this Sony's latest attack against their customers. The deletion made Chris go off on a pointless butthurt crusade to have them reinstated to no avail.

Chris' LittleBigPlanet creations

See also: LittleBigPlanet videos

Chris has created many levels in LittleBigPlanet and posted play-through videos of them. These videos are truly breathtaking; you rarely see an allegedly enthusiastic video game fan play so clumsily on such awfully designed levels, especially considering they're made by him. With all the trophies in the game already bagged, years of playing and thousands spent on video games, one would think Chris would be able to both play the game at some tolerable skill level and also at least have some gut feeling on what goes into design of an enjoyable game level.

Interestingly, Chris's levels show the same problems as his comic and the videos. Poorly thought-out, not checked before publishing, laziness showing everywhere, technical incompetence all around and mindblowingly irritating overall look. Chris obviously applies the same "minimum effort" approach to LBP as he does to everything else.

Sonichu Level

Chris began developing mashing this level together in the era when LBP was still in beta, and was quite concerned whether or not the beta-era levels would be playable in the final game. The Loyal Fanbase, most of which either lacked their idol's new favorite video game, or were not lucky enough to be in the beta program, waited the release of the game - and Chris's videos of the same - with bated breath. And then we got this.

The Sonichu level was obviously the reason why Chris wanted the game, and an obvious choice for a new and bold direction for Sonichu. Unfortunately, it also appears to be the first LBP level he made, and the well-kept adage in game modding world is that only fools release their first crappy attempts at making levels.

The level is loosely based on Episode 1 of the comic. "Loosely", because Chris's idea of a level based on the comic is a bunch of images copied on level elements and speech bubbles in roughly the same order as they appear in the comic.

The rest of the level is just a plain old wall-to-wall storm of empty, poorly made blocks of material and something that may resemble a platformer level if you are stoned enough.

TL;DR: Incredibly boring first attempt at making a level, with some Sonichu stuff that appears randomly out of nowhere.

CWC's Aqua Teen Hunger Force-Styled BurgerTime Level

Chris continues the "one franchise + another franchise = totally unique and original and wholly his own" train of thought with... Aqua Teen Hunger Force and the arcade game BurgerTime??? WTF? Anyway, the rumor has it that this level is also a smoking hole in the ground after Sony lashed on rip-offs. Game companies have a sense of humor, but ripping off television is serious business.

Sonichu costume

Chris created a Sonichu costume for his Sackboy. Needless to say, it looked neither like a Sonichu or a costume.

PS3 History Level

Main article: PS3 History Level

The level that catapulted Chris to fame when it was featured in LittleBigPlanet website. Vastly improved compared to Sonichu level, which still isn't saying much. Apparently, Chris figured out how to build things, but completely forgot to add enemies, traps, or fun. Rather than including purposeful challenges, CWC decided to make the level so buggy you'd have to be autistic to sit through it.

The real purpose of this level is advertising his wonderful recreations of PS3, PSP and the guitar controller, dispensing prize bubbles, and most importantly, showing his PS3 game collection which includes four games with hot chicks, so you'd better not doubt his straightness.

Chris concludes this level with one of the most epic straight-faced fanboy rants in recent history; the speech bubbles tell us how Chris considers the PS3 to be the best "life upgrade" ever. Clearly, fanboy-ism is more important than quality.

LittleBigPlanet Collector's Case

Being an incurable packrat, Chris ran into problems when he was unable to save his accumulated garbage into his LBP profile. He figured out that since items you've collected can be placed into levels, he should create a "collector's case": A few boxes stacked atop each other, and elevators to make climbing easier. Stick items in bubbles, and photos to the background to remind you what's in it. Chris, of course, believed this was one of the most remarkable ideas ever, and asked everyone to thank him for this amazing original idea and give kudos to their new community mastermind. Never mind that there had been many similar "collector's cases" available in the servers already. Never mind that the idea of persistent storage in game levels had been around for decades.

Chris created two videos in which he demoed the levels, one with the level empty and ready for abuse, one with the cases jam-fucking-packed with Chris's stored items. Also, in the second video, Chris figured out how to hook up the microphone, so Sonichu's mouth now opens and closes in sync with Chris's words (to chilling effect).

First Date Level

Made in Valentine's Day 2009 and meant for Julie, this level reaches towards good taste, and rapes it brutally. The level features some seemingly rather difficult-to-navigate buildings. A plagiarized "roller coaster" is the highlight of the level, with TWO extreme loops, passing by some of the gaudiest pink trees in existence. Once these 10 seconds of mild amusement are over, fail inevitably appears. You're led into a pink room full of hearts, where you're supposed to take pictures of you and your sweetheart. Chris is completely unaware of how damn creepy this is.

He also condemns those who dare to play the level in one-player mode by making them take a path where a lever in the 'romantic dinner' scene takes a single player out of the level and into a depressing black-and-white void away from all the action, mocking the player for being single ("No Date? Wow, that sucks. :(" a speech balloon says as rocks pelt the poor Sackperson) as they mope and hang their head in shame all the way to the course clear screen.

The level was also recycled in Rescuing Kacey video.

Metal Speed Solid

Oh God, you knew it was coming. Chris corrupts everything, no exceptions. In this abortion of a level, Chris distills the essence of Metal Gear Solid: linear, boring speed sections and impossibly difficult turret sections that instantly kill you. Oh, and rave lights, lots of seizure inducing material. Luckily, no one will ever have to sit through it. Why? Because, if the frustrating, repetitive deaths don't stop you, Chris's poorly made pathways will glitch you into giving up!

Rescuing Kacey

Rescuing Kacey was made in November 2009 and presented in video Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler. The plot of this video roughly follows the Gun Comic, which was leaked later. In this level, Chris rides some buses, mercilessly guns down Liquid Chris who is holding Kacey hostage, and receives massive ego-stroking from extremely crude cutout characters who represent Kacey's family. In a segment that was not in the comic, Chris and Kacey leap in the bed in preparation for the date. The level is rather unremarkable until you realise that Chris is controlling Chris, Kacey and Liquid - just why did he buy three controllers for PS3?

The second half of the video also recycles the First Date Level, and makes no attempt at hiding the fact that it was created for Valentine's Day, 2009. Hint: Kacey and Chris weren't together yet back then.

External links

• Wikipedia article on LittleBigPlanet