Death threats
Contrary to his claims of kindness and patience, Chris often goes on about how much he hates someone, or wants someone to suffer. In these rants, Chris occasionally crosses the line, and lets slip the fact that he honestly wants someone to die, often as horribly as possible. These death threats have become increasingly common since 2009.
Means of delivery
On a few occasions, Chris has dedicated special time and energy to immortalize his desire to kill in his comics. In these works, the person Chris wishes to destroy is often depicted as a purely evil villain, hellbent on the destruction of our innocent manchild hero. While these are much more noticeable than his other threats, they are also more infrequent, as Chris is lazy, and often unwilling to dedicate the time and energy to hurting his enemies in fiction. This list does not include real people who have been fictionalized and then assaulted by Chris in the comics, but rather, actual people who Chris has actually threatened.
The majority of Chris's cries for blood are delivered via YouTube videos. Compared to murdering somebody in a comic, raging into a camera is very easy, and it allows Chris much more opportunity to scream and shout like the child he is.
Targets
Either Chris's store of rage has steadily grown over months and years of trolling, or he's simply grown desensitized to the implications of calling for another person's death. While at one point it was a very rare occurrence for Chris to threaten or call for the death of his enemies, towards the end of 2009 and early 2010 Chris began screaming for murderous vengeance and penning elaborate, violent fantasies in the pages of his comic on a frighteningly regular basis. The people he has wished this grisly fate upon are listed are follows.
Jack Thaddeus
On Christmas Day 2009, Chris uploaded a video aptly titled "Kill De Jack", making public his great desire for Jack to die. So much for goodwill towards men. Oddly, he never actually physically demanded that Jack be murdered in the course of the video, spending most of his time bitching about the homosexual ads that Jack had placed on the CWCipedia.
“ | And to go back to the current topic, Kill de Jack Thaddeus. | ” |
Chris, changing topics. |
Chris verbally stated his intent to murder Jack on 26 December 2009. Then on the 27th Chris uploaded another video, where he switched it up by demanding that Jack save Chris the trouble, and kill himself. These demands that Jack and Clyde murder themselves soon became the norm, showing up in videos,blog entries and scattered about on the CWCipedia. Needless to say, Jack continued to refuse to kill himself.
Unable to slay his enemy in the real world, Chris returned to his old revenge proxy, the Sonichu comics. In Sonichu 10, Chris trapped Jack and Clyde on top of the 4-cent garbage building, and then assaulted it with powerful soundwaves, compromising the building's structural integrity, and effectively dooming everyone inside it to death and dismemberment. Jack and Clyde, unable to escape the crumbling tower opted to throw themselves down the elevator shaft, rather than be crushed under the rubble, proving once and for all that Chris is more than willing to slaughter hundreds just to get back at someone who was mean to him on the internet.
Jason Kendrick Howell
The creator of the ED page that brought Chris into the limelight has been the target of Chris's impotent cries for blood several times. The most notable instance of this is in Sonichu 8, where Chris depicted him being slashed, electrocuted and face raped. It even gets stated outright that the assault was fatal, and that the only reason Jason was alive was due to "dark powers." Whether these powers are Jason's own psychic ability, or some malevolent force that merely wishes to see Jason suffer longer, is left ambiguous.
Chris also tried to play the personal army game against him with a video. While most of the message fell in line with the general "please troll this person instead of me" lines, one passage in particular stands out from the rest.
“ | Shower him with as much hate as possible until that Encyclopedia Dramatica page is taken down, along with him. | ” |
Chris "subtly" expressing his desire for Jason to stop existing. |
Also notable is the time Chris attempted to involve God and Jesus in his murder plot. God and Jesus have yet to respond.
“ | I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO KILL JASON KENDRICK HOWELL | ” |
Chris-chan, Sonichu Girls forum |
And who can forget the phone call Jason received after Sonichu.net was hacked by someone Chris thought was him.
“ | I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD! | ” |
Chris, who, according to himself, "wasn't in a sound state of mind" at the time. |
Although Jason did create the original ED page, he has never had a particularly active role in tormenting Chris, choosing (like most of us) to simply enjoy the show. As such, while Chris has never really "forgiven" him, threats against Jason have essentially ceased as Chris shifts his focus to more immediate threats.
Liquid Chris
Chris had made a number of videos raging against the real Chris, but he didn't cross over into death threat territory until after Liquid declared himself the victor of the SingStar Challenge.
“ | DIIIIIIIIIEEEEE YOU!! | ” |
Chris, eloquently expressing his disapproval. |
Chris's murderous tendencies showed up again in Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler. In the video, Chris manages to twist a game made for children of all ages into a tool to spread his hatred, as he breaks into Liquid's home and shoots him. Due to the limitations of the game, this is accomplished with a paint gun, but what happens next makes his true intent all too clear.
In a stunning display of unoriginality, Chris reused this exact same plotline for Sonichu Special 4. In this comic, Chris depicts Liquid as a knife-wielding villain who kidnapped Kacey. Upon arriving to "rescue" her, Chris produces a handgun (possibly Decepticon leader Megatron in disguise), shoots Liquid in both his shins and leaves him to bleed to death, which is widely regarded in both the unwritten rules of war and maintaining law and order as dishonorable and a coward's way to end a conflict. When Kacey expressed horror at the fact that he wanted to kill her boyfriend, Chris missed the point about why she was so upset. He told her that he could re-draw the comic, and that such shots were meant to keep him from chasing them' completely avoiding the issue that wanting to shoot someone in the first place is off-putting, as is a desire to cripple someone for life.
Vivian Gee
Afraid that Vivian would not understand the "fury of [his] wrath", Chris opted to use a visual aid. He accomplished this with a Clown Doll and a wooden spike.
“ | NOW WATCH WHAT I DO WITH THIS AS I WILL DO TO VIVIAN GEE IF SHE DOES NOT S- TAKE DOWN EVERY LAST ONE OF HER VIDEOS AND CLOSES HER YOUTUBE ACCOUNT! | ” |
Chris, expressing his desire to stab an innocent woman to death. |
While there is an obvious difference between attacking a person and a doll, the sight of a grown man taking such obvious joy in the idea of violently killing a woman is disturbing nonetheless. The video also includes a threat against every single member of Vivian's family (including her cousin, Clyde Cash), though it's not clear if he actually wishes to kill them, or just beat them up and bite off their hats.
Vivian recently revealed in a YouTube video that Chris also took the more direct approach to threatening her death. On 1 September 2009 he actually sent her an E-mail directly demanding that she get a heart attack and pass away immediately. Fortunately, Chris does not have a Death Note, and Vivian survived.
“ | D, Vivian G, D! | ” |
Chris, 13 September 2009 |
Chris later apologized for the threatening message. While the apology was more like begging for money then a genuine show of remorse, it's possible that he realized that personally sending people death threats could actually get you in serious trouble and was making an attempt at damage control.
Clyde Cash
“ | EEEEEEENNNNNNNNGH! I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! | ” |
Chris, while smiling evilly. |
The undisputed leader and hero of all of Chris's trolls, Clyde Cash has been on the receiving end of his fair share of death threats. The sheer hatred Chris holds for Clyde is impressive all by itself. With the other trolls, Chris has at least tried to appear subtle about his dark intentions, or at least demands their deaths relatively infrequently. Where Clyde is concerned, Chris is extremely upfront and clear about his desire to murder Cash. Even Clyde faking his own suicide was not enough to escape Chris's wrath.
“ | CLYDE DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU ARE DEAAAD! YOU ARE DEAD! YOU ARE DEAD! | ” |
Chris, somewhat angry. |
Thereafter, Chris's cries for Clyde's blood upon took on much more serious undertones. While his earlier threats of strangulation and being forced to eat his own underwear were done with no apparent attempt to follow through on his dark words, more recent threats have come with demands that Clyde should come and face Chris in person, so that Chris might physically extract his revenge. It could be inferred by this that Chris has indeed planned out exactly what his course of action would be if Clyde did suddenly show up at his front door.
“ | You come to me. I will fight you! I will CRUSH YOU! | ” |
Chris, asking for a fight. |
Chris posted another video in which he roleplayed encountering Clyde Cash in real life. Upon being insulted by 'Clyde', Chris proceeded to pretend to beat up, choke, and finally slit the throat of the imaginary Clyde with a real knife, all as a warning to other trolls.
Finally, there's the matter of Clyde's family. It's not enough for Chris to merely murder Clyde. Chris has shown that he feels the entire Cash family line is just as deserving of his rage as Clyde, and has stated this outright. The fact that this is essentially a small scale act of genocide has apparently not occurred to him.
“ | THIS IS FOR CLYDE CASH TO EVERY LAST ONE OF HIS FAMILY MEMBERS INCLUDING HIS COUSIN VIVIAN! | ” |
Chris, Immediately before sinking his teeth into a doll's head. |
Alec Benson Leary
While Chris has no problem calling Sonichu a parody in order to (so he thinks) avoid copyright infringement and build his character into a moneymaking franchise, when someone actually parodies Sonichu or any of his other creations, he goes right off the deep end. Alec Benson Leary is the gentle and kind creator of Asperchu, which is effectively a parody of Sonichu himself as well as Chris's hatred of everything Asperger's and "seemingly" homosexual. For a few weeks after the comic's debut, Chris ignored Asperchu, regarding it as nothing more than a simple parody. Soon enough, however, many of his fans began abandoning Sonichu for Asperchu, and announcing their intentions in his Mailbag.
On January 9th, 2010, the first Captain's Log of that year, Chris called out Alec Benson Leary after advertisements for the Asperchu wiki, or Asperpedia, started showing up on the CWCipedia (replacing the homoerotic ads that had been an earlier source of turmoil). Not amused with the new ads or his Sonichu's appearance in the comics, Chris started raging out.
“ | DIE, you son of a bitch, Alec, die! | ” |
Chris, being Chris as usual. |
Alec represents the first time Chris has ever issued a public death threat to someone who had shown him respect. While most of the other individuals Chris has threatened have been antagonistic towards him, all of Alec's public communications up to that point had been a combination of respect and admiration. The only reasons Chris had to hate Alec was the fact that his character is overweight and his website runs on the same Mediawiki software. A few days later Chris claimed in a the description to one of his videos that he knew where Alec lived. Fortunately for Alec, it was just another lie.
While delivering an in-depth analysis of Asperchu, Chris threatened to have the ghost of his dog Patti maul Alec to death in his sleep in hell. It is unclear if he realizes he implied Patti Chandler is in hell. Alec has responded to this most recent threat by using his Adspace on the CWCipedia to ask people to donate to victims of the earthquake in Haiti. Clearly Alec is just as horrible a man as Chris claims him to be. Chris finally took his hatred of Alec to its conclusion in late February, slaughtering him in Sonichu #10 alongside Sean, Evan and Mao.
Evan, Mao, and Sean
Chris included Evan and Mao, two of Leary's partners in the creation of Asperpedia, in another threat against Alec's life. Evan was most likely singled out because of his campaign to have his character removed from Chris's comic. Mao, on the other hand, has done nothing to Chris other than be a good friend to Alec. On 01 February 2010 a reversing twist of situation appeared over the use of the adspace on CWCipedia. Mao was set on the receiving end of a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha and then was asked to "Take down the ads! Or prematurely ROT!" while, on the other side, Evan and Alec received apologies for the death threats with a hint of reciprocity for the management of the ads on Chris's wiki. This is all taken back when Chris tells them along with Alec and Sean to "rot... in... HELL!!!"
“ | My amends have been made. | ” |
Chris, failing at respect and basic English after an unjust trial resulting in torture and execution. |
Despite originally "having less offense" with Sean, Chris demonstrated considerable rage later on, threatening to beat him and curse him. However, he refrained from crossing into death threat territory until Sonichu 10 - wherein he drew the dazed and confused artist attempting to defend himself in court, despite totally unsubstantial "mental evidence" extracted from his mind being used against him. Then, approximately one page after finishing his apology, he summarily executes all four of the poor bastards. While doing so, he has each of the extremely biased "victims" take part, including a toddler, and Chris himself. (Of note is that Chris literally depicts himself tearing out Mao's heart.)
Cogsdev
A vague death threat came through when Chris discovered the CWCki on 11 March 2010, where Chris claimed "there will be trouble upon that Person directly from Me" unless every page about his sweethearts was removed by 12 March 2010. He later extended the deadline to remove all traces of his sweethearts to 31 March 2010. This is due to Chris once again believing he was responsible for something becoming inaccessible on the internet. His threat to her was clarified in this extension, in which he said "The deadline is March 31, 2010, 11:59 PM, Easter Standard Time. Do it, or there WILL be trouble. I am Armed after all." This threat was never realized when Chris created an account on the CWCki, and proceeded to fail at vandalism.
Chris's threats were directed to the Webmaster of the CWCki, and he initially identified the webmaster as male. As such, it is currently unknown whether Chris has managed to determine the identity of the webmaster, despite the domain name. He has yet to yell at her in a video, though it is very likely he will.
Surfshack Tito
On 2 March 2010, after Surfshack Tito hacked in to Chris's PSN account, he threatened to "get yours in your dreams- your- in your nightmares" in a failed attempt to threaten him, at the same time firing a Curse Shot. Twelve days later, in his video "Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!", he tries to be more threatening towards Tito, this time with his pocket knife and a panty shot in a kilt. Chris believed that Tito was the reason why he and The Wallflower parted ways, even though their separation was due to concerned trolls contacting her about Chris's history with women, fearing that she'll end up becoming the next Megan. In the end, typical of our fat HFA friend, Chris's threat did not work and instead he offended countless citizens of Ireland and the United Kingdom the way he offended Native Americans in his War Paint Video.
On March 17th Chris would make his most threatening video yet accusing Surf Shack Tito of being the Man in the Pickle Suit, a womanizer, a rapist, and calling him a nigger and than promising he would cut him up and squeeze his fat into his skull until it bursts open, which is arguably the most bizarre death threat Chris has made to date. What the reaction will be now that he has shown himself to be a total bigot is uncertain.