Chris dispels videogame rumors
"CWC 09132009" is a video, uploaded on 13 September 2009, in which Chris dispels rumors that the recently announced Sonic game, codenamed Project Needlemouse, would actually be a Sonichu game. He comes to this statement based upon information he got from the ED forums, proving that these forums are not only a cancerous source of faggotry, but that they are also counterproductive to the trolling.
At the end of the video, Barbara can be heard off-camera.
(For the record, the game was announced on December 4th to be Sonic the Hedgehog 4.)
Video
| Chris dispels videogame rumors | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 13 September 2009 |
| Subject Matter |  Video Games
|
| Shirt |  Red PokéShirt
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous 10 September 2009 |
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| “ | D, Vivian G, D! Just like Sideshow Bob would say to Bart in that one episode that he had on his frontside. | ” |
Transcript
Okay, you're rockin' it again, before we begin this installment of the video book series, let's turn to me for a moment, because I have a couple of brief announcements to make, dudes! Like number—like number one, the, uh, the s—stores that—on the Internet that are selling quote/unquote merchandise? IT'S NOT OFFICIAL! IT'S NOT REAL! [takes off glasses] You're being scammed! You might as well throw it in the garbage, burn it, return it! Because if you bought it, you're—not only are you aiding and abetting that criminal, you're being scammed yourself! And also, Project Needlemouse, I have been- I have talked with Sega of America, and they have verified for me that is a full-fledged SONIC THE HEDGEHOG GAME! Not a Sonichu game. And besides, 2D, I mean Sonichu Adventure, I mean I got so many more story arcs in there than meets the eye, yes—I mean multiple character switches and I have all the story plots, I'm—I have all the story plots in my head, and ON PAPER. On paper. Including like, you know, "Hey, whatever happened to Wild Sonichu's scyther(?) father?" He gets kidnapped a long time ago. You know? He gets kidnapped. And then Sonichu actually—and then Wild Sonichu actually goes and find him. And Bubbles is on her way to an amusement park. W—uh... Angelica goes to defend her church. Punchy is out for a new challenge, and Magi-chan, I'm not sure about him yet. And Sonichu's is out to's-is out for a challenge that he's-he's accepted the challenge from wha-m-from.. Metal Sonichu. As it would appear in the beginning of the books beyond number eleven! Number eleven! The stories would begin beyond—from book number ELEVEN! And nobody has those stories! Only I have those stories, so no video game can ever be created without my own power! My own swill, my own super, my own-h-HONEST TO GOODNESS SUPERVISION!
[Chris turns, the massive physical exertion causing him to pant]
So take it so take it for real: I AM THE REAL DEAL! I am Christian Weston Chandler. Alias Christopher. And nobody can ever impersonate me for real. Or even my hand-drawing style. And everything that you would get... that they can obviously put—is they could get—is again the only off the internet. It's not a real original hand draw-it's not original hand drawings. I mean, does that look like a printout to you? No! It's a HAND DRAWING! It's the original hand drawing of the back cover I constantly used! Among all the other hand drawings on my SHELF! In my BINDERS! IN THIS ROOM! In this house! So get with the program, people!
[cut]
And also, all videos that are currently on YouTube that may say cont—that may say the contrary about the video game rumors, they s—about them being true, but when they-rin-reality FALSE! The damn rumors! I mean I have read on 4 M's dot Encyclopedia Dramatica dot com, that's right I KNOW IT! DAMN TROLLS! I'VE READ YOUR LINES! And I know that you're pixellating fake game screenshots and images and videos.... You're so busted. YOU'RE so busted. And you are in the wrong and you will be damned to hell! ESPECIALLY YOU Vivian G! D, Vivian G, D! Just like Sideshow Bob would say to Bart in that one episode that he had on his frontside.[1] Anyway, aside from all that, I repeat: DO NOT BUY ANYTHING OFF THE INTER- off the uh websites, you are being scammed! There is no Sonichu video game, yet!
The unu-un [stutters] and also, a-any a-all official updates about when the official merchandise will be officially released under my own power and supervision, as well as the video game's creation, will be posted on the offi—on the original official Sonichu site, which is also known as CWCipedia!
[Off camera, Barbara comes in and says "Hey, love! Just checkin' to see if you were home!"]
We'll be back in a moment.
Notes
- ↑ In The Simpsons episode "Cape Feare", Sideshow Bob is seen with a tattoo on his chest saying "Die Bart Die." During a parole hearing, Bob explained the tattoo as being German for "The Bart The". Once more, Chris has stolen a joke, butchered it horribly, and taken it so far out of context that it makes no sense to almost everybody.
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