Match.com

Chris's awful profile, preserved forever in jpg form.

Probably the most famous dating site on the Internet, Match.com has helped thousands of people worldwide meet members of the opposite sex (or in some cases the same sex). The site is overflowing with boyfriend-free girls looking for everything from long-term relationships to casual sex. This being the case, Chris's presence on the site was practically inevitable.

Chris set up an account under the username "SonichuCWC" ages ago, back in the Sonichu's News Dash days. The profile probably dates to some time in 2006, since it indicates he's seeking a woman aged 18–24 (Chris's current age is invariably the upper limit for the age of a prospective sweetheart). However, he also claims to be "doing well" at Piedmont Virginia Community College (which he graduated in 2005), but perhaps he made this profile while in PVCC and later updated it.

He doesn't seem to have updated it since, and yet he's logged into the site as recently as 6 April 2010, which is surprising considering how quickly he abandoned his OKCupid profile.

The text of the page is pretty similar to everything Chris has vomited onto the internet before he gave up on "true love" altogether: claims about how he keeps his promises, is honest, etc. There are, however, a few interesting deviations from the Chris norm. He fails to indicate his religion, and in the sports and interests field, he apparently checked every single box, making the majority of the items in the list outright lies. He also said he would accept a Native American mate, instead of his usual demand of a White/Asian woman.

Profile text

One of Chris's 4 profile pictures

And another.

Help a lonesome and sad man find some companionship. ;8)

28-year-old man [Note: Chris created this page when he was 24. Match.com automatically updates the profile age.]
Advance Mills, Virginia, United States
seeking women 18-24
within 25 miles of Advance Mills, Virginia, United States
Relationships: Never Married
Have kids: No
Want kids: Someday
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian
Body type: About average [This would be about 140 lbs/64 kg, far less than Chris ever was]
Height: 5'10" (178cms)
Religion: No Answer
Smoke: No Way
Drink: Never

About me and who I'm looking for

I feel that I am young at heart, because I enjoy the seemingly child-like things I do like playing with Legos, Pokemon, Sonic the Hedgehog and drawing cartoonishly. I am also creator of my Pokemon character, Sonichu. I am a bit shy, but I would enjoy the company of a pretty girl who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't really like to be alone. In a nutshell, my girl should be: 18-24, lives in the Charlottesville or Ruckersville area, has a happy, positive personality, young at heart, very pretty, Average income, and does not already have a Boyfriend. Also, trading card games, she could play said game(s) with me at the Pokemon League event that I go to weekly. Also, I have graduated from High School with Honor Roll, I am doing very well at PVCC, and I can express my feelings after putting them into words with my thinking mind. And if there's anything that I left out, well... oops. I am a shy, very thoughtful, person, and will only accept person-to-person encounters,

In my Own Words

for fun: I enjoy drawing, listening to music, playing video games and Pokemon or Yu-Gi-Oh card games. I also like anime, creating with Lego pieces, and I love my family. And sometimes, I work on my Sonichu Site.

my education: Piedmont Virginia Community College in Charlottesville where I am working towards a CADD degree.

favorite hot spots: I go to the Fashion Square Shopping center on Saturdays, the Downtown Mall's Comic Game & Hobby Place (Pokemon League/Yu-Gi-Oh) on Fridays and Saturdays, and you can also find me at Wal-Mart in C-Ville on most other days of the week.

favorite things: In a list: Sonichu, Sonic the Hedgehog, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, most kinds of music, Mary Poppins (movie), Colors: blue and red, creating home-made trading cards (for fun and art), and looking at the lovely scenery on the UVA campus.

About me

Hair: Light brown
Eyes: Blue
Sports and exercise: Baseball, Basketball, Bowling, Dancing, Football, Golf, In-line skating, Racquet sports, Running, Soccer, Swimming, VolleyBall, Walking / Hiking, Weights / Machines
Exercise habits: Exercise 1-2 times per week
Interests: Coffee and conversation, Cooking, Dining out, Exploring new areas, Fishing/Hunting, Hobbies and crafts, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Nightclubs/Dancing, Playing cards, Playing sports, Shopping/Antiques, Video games, Volunteering
Education: Some college
Occupation: No Answer
Income: No Answer
Languages: Spanish
Politics: Middle of the Road
Sign: Pisces
Pets I have: Cats, Dogs
Pets I like: Birds, Fish, Horses

About my date

Hair: Black, Blonde, Dark blonde, Dark brown, Light brown
Eyes: No Answer
Height: 5'0" (152cms) to 5'10" (178cms)
Body type: About average, Athletic and toned, Slender
Languages: English
Ethnicity: Native American, White / Caucasian
Faith: No Answer
Education: High school, Some college, Associates degree, Bachelors degree, Graduate degree, PhD / Post Doctoral
Job: No Answer
Income: No Answer
Smoke: No Way
Drink: Never
Relationships: Never Married
Have kids: No
Want kids: Definitely, Someday

See also

• OkCupid
• The HooK Café
• Dating profiles

External links

• Chris's page