Difference between revisions of "Ruckersville, VA"
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==Geography== | ==Geography== | ||
The geography of Ruckersville is rather plain, | The geography of Ruckersville is rather plain, composed of fields which surround the small housing developments that link up with the larger town of Charlottesville. Yes, even the natural features are fucking boring. It seems as if Ruckersville really is a place for people [[Christian Weston Chandler|who prefer to do absolutely nothing with their lives at all]]. | ||
==Crime== | ==Crime== | ||
Revision as of 01:27, 10 December 2009
Ruckersville, Virginia is the epicentre of all things related to Sonichu and the main stomping grounds of the creature known as Christian Weston Chandler - ground zero, if you will. Chris and his family moved from Ruckersville to the Richmond suburbs after their dispute with the faculty of Nathanael Greene Elementary School, only to return several years later.
| CWC ON LOCATION | |
|---|---|
| Photo: | |
| Location: | Ruckersville, VA |
| Coordinates: | 38°13′59″N 78°22′09″W |
| Classification: | Unincorporated township |
| Date established: | 1732 |
| Population: | 9,935 |
| Zip/post code: | 22968 |
| Area code: | 434 |
| Website: | Unavailable |
| Also known as: | Fuckersville |
| Produces: | Retarded manchildren |
| Current relevance: | Chris's hometown |
The Official Verdict
Ruckersville, Virginia is a small, unincorporated township on the outskirts of Charlottesville, VA. It is a scenic community offering panoramic views of mountains, trees and farmland. Although the population of Ruckersville has yet to reach the 10,000 mark, it still has a growing downtown area with a well-known antiques market and future possibilities for expansion. Founded in 1732, little has changed from the quiet, peaceful village of long ago to the quiet, peaceful township it is today. Recently it has become the location of a new Wal-Mart, presenting yet another establishment for Chris to get thrown out of and banned from.
The Unvarnished Truth
It's a redneck shithole full of ugly housing and even uglier lawn furniture, where people burn their trash and generally ignore the infectious human disasters which we know as the "Chandlers." Ruckersville has very little in the way of famous landmarks, notable people (Phillip Morris, a NASCAR driver, was born there, but no one gives a shit about NASCAR) or indeed anything else that could be used to justify its existence. While most normal young people would resent being stuck in a redneck wonderland like Ruckersville, the fact that little can be accomplished by living in this hell-hole means that it is more than suitable for a useless motherfucker like Chris.
Geography
The geography of Ruckersville is rather plain, composed of fields which surround the small housing developments that link up with the larger town of Charlottesville. Yes, even the natural features are fucking boring. It seems as if Ruckersville really is a place for people who prefer to do absolutely nothing with their lives at all.
Crime
Crime statistics in Ruckersville are low, with no murders and only two rapes in recorded history, which is surprising when you consider that the only thing to do in Ruckersville - according to this website - is bird watching. Mind you, Chris was more than happy to waltz over to Charlottesville to commit his various misdemeanors, so perhaps others do too.
Ground Zero
It's interesting to note that a Google Street View of the housing development that contains Chris's home is unavailable. Some theories exist to explain this, the leading being that the bizarre cocktail of smells produced by bathing in Axe body spray and intense body odor may have simply driven the Google camera car away from that street after the drivers deemed it "too risky." An alternative theory is that the road is so poorly marked and difficult to access, that nobody gave a fuck about driving down it.
Gallery
Aerial shot of the redneck shithole that is Ruckersville. Chris' home is highlighted with the red mark.
Ruckersville lies at the intersection of two major highways. WOW!
No redneck town is complete without churches and replaceable letter signs.
Little did Peter Rucker know that his settlement would be a haven for a retarded manchild... and that it would blow goats.
