Difference between revisions of "Ruckersville, VA"
| Line 44: | Line 44: | ||
Ruckersville, Virginia is a small, unincorporated township on the outskirts of [[Charlottesville, VA]]. A scenic, tight-knit community that offers panoramic views of mountains, trees and farmland. Although though Ruckersville has a small population, it has a vibrant and growing downtown, notable for it's antiques market, new Wal-Mart and with great potential for expansion. Founded in 1732, little has changed. The quiet, peaceful village of long ago is still the quiet, peaceful township of today. A safe, friendly, and welcoming community in which to raise a family or quietly retire. | Ruckersville, Virginia is a small, unincorporated township on the outskirts of [[Charlottesville, VA]]. A scenic, tight-knit community that offers panoramic views of mountains, trees and farmland. Although though Ruckersville has a small population, it has a vibrant and growing downtown, notable for it's antiques market, new Wal-Mart and with great potential for expansion. Founded in 1732, little has changed. The quiet, peaceful village of long ago is still the quiet, peaceful township of today. A safe, friendly, and welcoming community in which to raise a family or quietly retire. | ||
==The | ==The Truth== | ||
[[Image:Ruckersville Attractions.png|thumb|/this article]] | [[Image:Ruckersville Attractions.png|thumb|/this article]] | ||
It's a redneck shithole full of ugly | It's a redneck shithole full of cheap, ugly houses and even uglier lawn furniture. A place where people burn their trash, decorate their yards with junked cars, the human disasters we know as the "[[Chandlers]]" can go ignored and unnoticed. Ruckersville has very little in the way of recognizable landmarks, history, and the only noteworthy person born there is NASCAR driver Phillip Morris (but who gives a shit about NASCAR?) While most normal young people would resent being stuck in a redneck wonderland like Ruckersville, the lack of prospects or opportunities suits Chris, as it's just one more excuse to never leave his room. | ||
==Geography== | ==Geography== | ||
Revision as of 05:33, 14 December 2009
Ruckersville, Virginia is the epicentre of all things related to Sonichu and the main stomping grounds of the creature known as Christian Weston Chandler - Ground Zero, if you will. Chris and his family moved from Ruckersville to the Richmond suburbs after their dispute with the faculty of Nathanael Greene Elementary School, only to return several years later.
| CWC ON LOCATION | |
|---|---|
| Photo: | |
| Location: | Ruckersville, VA |
| Coordinates: | 38°13′59″N 78°22′09″W |
| Classification: | Unincorporated township |
| Date established: | 1732 |
| Population: | 9,935 |
| Zip/post code: | 22968 |
| Area code: | 434 |
| Website: | Unavailable |
| Also known as: | Fuckersville |
| Produces: | Retarded manchildren |
| Current relevance: | Chris's hometown |
The Brochure
Ruckersville, Virginia is a small, unincorporated township on the outskirts of Charlottesville, VA. A scenic, tight-knit community that offers panoramic views of mountains, trees and farmland. Although though Ruckersville has a small population, it has a vibrant and growing downtown, notable for it's antiques market, new Wal-Mart and with great potential for expansion. Founded in 1732, little has changed. The quiet, peaceful village of long ago is still the quiet, peaceful township of today. A safe, friendly, and welcoming community in which to raise a family or quietly retire.
The Truth
It's a redneck shithole full of cheap, ugly houses and even uglier lawn furniture. A place where people burn their trash, decorate their yards with junked cars, the human disasters we know as the "Chandlers" can go ignored and unnoticed. Ruckersville has very little in the way of recognizable landmarks, history, and the only noteworthy person born there is NASCAR driver Phillip Morris (but who gives a shit about NASCAR?) While most normal young people would resent being stuck in a redneck wonderland like Ruckersville, the lack of prospects or opportunities suits Chris, as it's just one more excuse to never leave his room.
Geography
The geography of Ruckersville is rather plain, composed of fields which surround the small housing developments that link up with the larger town of Charlottesville. Yes, even the natural features are fucking boring. It seems as if Ruckersville really is a place for people who prefer to do absolutely nothing with their lives at all.
Crime
Crime statistics in Ruckersville are low, with no murders and only two rapes in recorded history, which is surprising when you consider that the only thing to do in Ruckersville - according to this website - is bird watching. Mind you, Chris was more than happy to waltz over to Charlottesville to commit his various misdemeanors, so perhaps others do too.
Ground Zero
It's interesting to note that a Google Street View of the housing development that contains Chris's home is unavailable. Some theories exist to explain this, the leading being that the bizarre cocktail of smells produced by bathing in Axe body spray and intense body odor may have simply driven the Google camera car away from that street after the drivers deemed it "too risky." An alternative theory is that the road is so poorly marked and difficult to access, that nobody gave a fuck about driving down it.
Gallery
Aerial shot of the redneck shithole that is Ruckersville. Chris' home is highlighted with the red mark.
Ruckersville lies at the intersection of two major highways. WOW!
No redneck town is complete without churches and replaceable letter signs.
Little did Peter Rucker know that his settlement would be a haven for a retarded manchild... and that it would blow goats.
