Difference between revisions of "The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special"

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A video [[Chris]] made on the 24th anniversary of [[Bob]] and [[Barb]] on 07 June 2004. Provides a valuable background to Chris's parents and how they met in a [[alcohol|bar]].
[[Image:HappyAnniversary.jpg|thumb|right|"Thanks for not aborting me!"]]
 
'''The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special''' is a machinima of ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' that [[Chris]] made as a gift for [[Bob]] and [[Barbara Chandler]] in spring [[2004]]. This creation offers a wealth of information regarding Chris's parents, such as how they met in a [[alcohol|bar]]. It also shows us the unoriginality of Chris's [[Chris and art|artistic skills]], and that Chris would rather play [[video games]] in his parents' names than instead of [[Chris and money|buying]] them a good gift.
 
It is notable that Chris thanks his parents for his ''birth'', not his ''upbringing''. Apparently, giving existence to Chris was a [[Chris and his ego|major accomplishment in and of itself]].


==Part 1==
==Part 1==
<center>{{Infobox/video
| name              = The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special Part 1
| ytid              = TJSZMX4Jo0Y
| Stardate          = 7th [[June 2004]]
| Maker            = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter    = {{Video games|text}}; Family
| Performance Style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Reason|text}}
| Other            = {{Direct Feed|text}}; {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous          = [[Animal_Crossing_Documentary#Watch|Animal Crossing Documentary]]
| next              = [[The_24th_Wedding_Anniversary_Special#Part_2|The 24th Wedding Anniversary<br />Special Part 2]]
}}</center>
===Transcript===
[''two in-game flyers appear'']
Nintendo Presents / A Christian/Sonichu Production
For Barbara & Robert Chandler (Christian' Mom & Dad) / [[Monty Python|It's]]...
[''the game's respective Nintendo logo appears as the opening theme plays over the menu screen'']
[''another in-game flyer appears'']
The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special / Now here's your host, Christian Chandler!
[''four more in-game flyers scroll by in a blur'']
Most of everything was done by Christian Chandler. / Games used for this program: ''Animal Crossing'', ''Mario Paint''
With Special Thanks to Nintendo, Barbara Chandler, Robert Chandler, Christian Chandler
This has been a / Christian/Sonichu production. / The End
Stay Tuned for Behind the Scenes Action...
[''one last in-game flyer appears'']


<center>{{#ev:youtube|24lUfJf4cNU}}</center>
Due to limited items, the following program may have some inaccurate furniture for each parent...


{{quote|And this Chinese Lion here, that's [because] he's been to Korea, for war and World War Two, I believe it was|Chris}}
[''starts playing ''Animal Crossing'' as himself'']


===Transcript===
Hi, Mom and Dad. How're you doing? This is my little present for y'all: a little...documentary for y'all, here in ''Animal Crossing'' for Nintendo GameCube...about how y'all were, and how you are now, and so forth. So, take a trip back in time with me, won't you, as we explore, uh, how each of you were.
 
Of course, first, we'll travel back in time too...
 
[''jump cut to Chris playing as Bob'']
 
...the time of good ol' Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr. He was a hip youngster back in his day. And, uh...all that stuff he...was- he fought in the war, he likes- well, he worked- he worked hard, and stuff. Let's take a look inside his château, and, uh...see what describes him as him.
 
[''enters Bob’s house to start tour of first floor'']
 
He collects records, and he's got lots of 'em, and he's got so many shelves. He likes to call 'em a record case. Yeah.
 
Anyway, let's see, uh, he likes to, uh, make models, and he likes trains. This is a train model set. Look: it's got a cute little tunnel. Yeah.
 
And, y’know, this- he didn't have it back then, but he has it now. He likes to sit back and watch television.
 
Like I said, he likes scale models. And here's a good model: a rocket. Yeah. He was a technical engineer over at, uh, General Electric Company. Yup – he designed the controls for plastic molding machines, so, without him, you couldn't have the plastic for, uh...say, the toy ''train'', here. Yes.
 
And he also, uh, went around the world a bit. One place: he went to New York. See, there's the Statue of Liberty, there.
 
He also, uh- he was born in, uh, ''Texas''. That's why we have this little cactus here. Oh, and here's a little bo- ship in a bottle, here, 'cause, y'know, he ''did'' go around the world. At least by water.
 
He was born a [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] in, uh, Texas. Actually, he was- he was, like, one-[[Speech Impediment|sisteenths]] Cherokee. But...that's why we have this totem pole here. And this Chinese Lion here...that's, uh- he was- he's been- [[Honor roll|he's been to Korea...for a war in...World War II, I believe it was]]. And he got...a [[Wikipedia: Good Conduct Medal (United States)|conduct]] [[Wikipedia:Medal of Honor|Medal of Honor]], so, that's what this is right here.
 
And you'll notice this is his shirt. It's a...blue ''tar''-tan. Same pattern as is his, uh, ''regular'' shirt. That's what they call it in ''Animal Crossing''. This pattern here for his ''um-''brella is a composition of four trumpets, 'cause, uh...he likes music. Of course.
 
Of course, he likes to think, so, while he's thinking he, uh...pays the bills on his, uh...desk, and, uh...nowadays, he uses a computer, but back in the da- back in his ''old'' days, the- a computer would fill up a ''whole room''...and it would have been much bigger than a refrigerator. And everybody in the business ''loved'' computers. [''does an impression of a baby computer''] "I love you, big com-pyu-dah."
 
Which I could say the same thing for, uh, a radio. [[wikipedia:Home_Movies_(TV_series)|Back then, in the 1930s, it was the size of a refrigerator. And everybody ''loved'' the radio, as well. [''does a half-hearted impression of Bob''] "I love you, radio".]]
 
And, of course, when he does his, uh, thinking, he, uh-- so, he likes wipin' out. He may have had one before, but he doesn't have one now: a chalkboard. And you know what he's thinkin' about at this moment? Social studies. [''laughs like Peter Griffin''] That's written by ''de-''fault on the chalkboard. And, of course, he likes to play games, so we have this little chessboard here.
 
And, uh, he's a bit of an outdoors person, as well... [''moves the tour to the second floor''] so, here's a representation of our backyard...or, probably "his" backyard, in the day.
 
Anyway, we have, uh...yeah – sprinklers watering the garden. We have a little pond. Hey! [''does another half-hearted impression of Bob''] "Who's up for a burgerrr? Who's up for a burgerrr?" Yeah.
 
He can also look into outer space, with this telescope. Mmm...I see there's the, uh...Sun. I can't look directly into it because it's so bright. If I turn it a little bit...oh – look – I see the Moon. The Mooon-a.
 
And, of course, he, uh, takes care of his, uh, yard and flowers, so, he usually likes to...''mow the lawn''. ''Mow the lawn.'' ''Mow the lawn.''
 
And, uh, when he can, with, uh...with his, uh, girlfriend, back in the day, was Barbara. Yeah. Take her on a picnic. Yeah. Nice little picnic table.
 
So, now, we go downstairs to another point- another good point in his, uh, life: [''moves the tour down to the basement''] Good ol' Manny's Pub. Yeah. Got everything.
 
He, uh, drank coffee 'round here, an'...stuff. But most of the time, around here, in Manny's pub, he sang...up here on the stage. Along with the, uh...classic jazz music of the day.
 
And, of course, y’know, in a pub, you always have a bartender.
 
[''does yet another half-hearted impression of Bob''] "Hey, barkeep! Lemme have a, uh, [[Long Island Iced Tea|martini]], will ya?"
 
[''does impression of bartender''] "I'm sorry, bud, but we have no martinis."
 
[''returns to same bad impression of Bob''] "Oh, okay, then, just get me a...b-brewski."
 
[''does impression of same bartender suddenly drunk''] "One [[reeb|''beer'']], comin' up!"
 
[''chuckles'']
 
At bars, you notice, of course, they have a...telephone to talk to, uh, people. Of course, uh, yeah, back then-- [''reassures himself''] yeah, they had telephones.


Hi Mom and Dad, how're you doing? This is my lil' present for y'all. Hello! Documentary for y'all, here in [[Animal Crossing]], a nice lil' game for you, about how y'all were, and how you are now and so forth. So take a trip back in time, won't you, as we explore, uh, how each of you were.
And, of course, like I see, I've been into good music, so...


Of course, first we'll travel back in time tooo.. The time of good ol' [[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] He was a hip youngster back in his day, and, uhh, all that stuff he--was--he fought in the war, he likes splitting cardboard card (?) and stuff. Let's take a look inside his château, and, uhh, see what describes him as him.
Here's a good ezzample. [''plays unrecognizable melody on piano'']


He collects records, and he's got lots of 'em and he's got so many shelves. He likes.. Caller record case (?).. Yeah.. Anyway let's see, uh, he likes to, uh, make models and.. He likes trains. This is a train model set. Got this guy a cute lil' tunnel.. Yeah.. And you know, people didn't have it [''television''] back then but he likes it now. He likes to sit back and watch television. Like I said, he likes scale models. And here's a good model.. A rocket.. Yeah.. He was a technical engineer over at, uh, General Electric Company. God he (?) designed the controls for plastic modelling machines, so without him, you couldn't have a plastic for, uhh, say of the toy train here.. Yes.
Here, uh, let me give that to you again. [''plays same unrecognizable melody'']


An' also Bob went around the world a bit. One place, he went to New York, see there's the Statue of Liberty there [''referring to the in-game item'']. He also, uhh, he was born in, uhh, Texas.. That's why we have this lil' cactus here. Oh and here's a lil' bo--ship in a bottle here, 'cause y'know, he did go around the world.. At least by water. He was born a [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] in, uhh, Texas. Actually, he was--he was, like, one-[[Speech Impediment|sisteenths]] Cherokee, but that's why we have this totem pole here. And this Chinese Lion here, that's, uhh, he was-he's been--he's been to Korea, for, uhh, war and World War Two, I believe it was [''in one sentence, Chrissy shows he has no grasp of history or geography''], and he got, uhh, a combat Medal of Honor [''which actually was a Good Conduct Medal''], so that's what this is right here.
That's a little tune I whipped up: uh, [[Sonic]]'s theme song. That's, uh...that's a town tune...that’s on there.


And you'll notice this is his shirt. Blue tartan. Same pattern as his--uhh--his--his--uhh-- regular shirt. That's what they call it in Animal Crossing. This para here for his ogo and his accomposition of four trumpets (?), 'cause, uhh, he likes music. 'Course. Of course he likes to think so while he's thinking he, uhh, pays the bills (?) on his, uhh, desk. And, uhh, nowadays he uses a computer but back in the-- back in his old days, a--a computer would fill up a '''WHOLE ROOM'''. And it was much bigger than a refrigerator, and everyone in the business loved computers. [''weird robotic voice''] '''"I LOVE YOU, BIG COMPUTER"'''. Which I could say the same thing for a--a radio. Back then in the 1930's they was the size of a refrigerator. And e'ryone loved the radio as well. '''"I love you, radio"'''. And of course, what it does is, uhh, make him, he, uhh, so--he likes wiping out (?). He may have had one before but he doesn't have one now.. A chalkboard. And you know what he's thinkin' about at this moment? Social studies. [''laughs in a Peter Griffin-esque manner''] Let's play teeth (?) on the chalkboard. An' of course he likes playing games, so we have this lil' chessboard here.
And, of course, he also likes the, uh, other classical instruments, such as a cello. [[Random Access Humor|He should- he should’ve hung around in a room that was mellow; then, he wouldn't've liked the cello!]]


And, uhh, he's a bit of an outdoors person as well.. So here's a representation of our back yard.. Or, probably his back yard to this day (?). Here we have, uhh, the sprinkler for watering the garden, and we have a lil' pond.. "Hey! Who's up for a burgerrr? Who's up for a burgerr?"... Yeah. He can also look into outer space, with this telescope.. Hm.. I see there's the, uhh, sun. I can't look directly into it because it's so bright. If I turn it a lil' bit.. Oh look I see the moon. ''The moooon''. And of course he, er, takes care of his, uhh, yard and flowers, so he u--he likes to '''mow the lawn. Mow the lawn. Mow the lawn'''. And, uhh, when he came (?) with, uhh, with his, uhh, girlfriend, back in the day was [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]. Yeah.. Take her on a picnic. Yeah.. Nice lil' picnic table.
[''leaves Bob’s house to conclude tour'']


So now we go downstairs to the [???].. The point in his, uhh, life. Good ol' [[BILLY MAYS|May's pub]]. Yeah.. Got everythin'. He, uhh, drank coffee round here an'.. Stuff. An' most of the time around here in May's pub he sang. Up here on the stage. Along with the, uhh, classic jazz music of the day. And of course in a pub, y'know, you always have a bartender.  
But anyway, uh, that's pretty much the last of Bob Chandler. Of course, in no- in a- in a ''hero'' business, he's also known as "Flower Man"...‘cause he saves flowers' lives more than humans'.


"Hey, barkeep! Lemme have a--uhh, [[Long Island Iced Tea|Martini]], will ya?"
So, now...let's time travel...to another time...


"I'm sorry, bud, but we have no Martinis."
[''jump cut to Chris playing as Barbara'']


"Oh, okay then just get me a, uhh, b--brewski."
...for- yeah – the time of Barbara Chandler...which- here she is. But, of course, uh, naturally, she has ''brown'' hair, but since it’s ''Animal Crossing'', they gave me ''blue'' hair by ''de-''fault.


[''in a stupid-ass voice''] "One [[REEB|BEER]], comin' up!"
But anyway, let's go into ''her'' house and see what her lifestyle is.


At bars [???], of course they have a telephone to talk to, err, people. 'Course, uhh, they actin' (?).. Yeah, they have some of these. And of course I got [???] the music self (?). Here's a good sample. Here, uhh, let me give that to you again. That's a lil' tune I whipped up, uhh, [[Sonic|Sonic's]] theme song. That's, uhh, that's a town tune. And of course, he also likes the other classical instruments such as the cello. He sho--He should have hung around and grooved out mellow (?), then you're going to find a cello.
[''enters Barbara’s house to start tour of first floor'']


Anyway, uhh, that's pretty much the last, uhh, Bob Chandler. Of course, in no--in a--i--hero business, he's also known as Flower Man.. 'Cause he saves flowers' lives more than humans. So now, let's time travelll... To another tiime.. Oh.. Yeah, time of [[Barbara Chandler]]. Let's see who she is. But of course, naturally she has brown hair but this is Animal Crossing and it gave me blue hair by default. Anyway, let's go into her house and see what her life's got us. Back in her childhood, they had a small house, but yeah she had many brothers and sisters...
Back in her childhood, they had a small house, but, yeah, she had many brothers and sisters-


==Part 2==
==Part 2==


<center>{{#ev:youtube|sIlqJzcLsig}}</center>
<center>{{Infobox/video
| name              = The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special Part 2
| ytid              = D2qHDgD23t4
| Stardate          = 07 [[June 2004]]
| Maker            = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter    = {{Video games|text}}; Family
| Performance Style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Reason|text}}
| Other            = {{Direct Feed|text}}; {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous          = [[The_24th_Wedding_Anniversary_Special#Part_1|The 24th Wedding Anniversary<br />Special Part 1]]
| next              = [[The_24th_Wedding_Anniversary_Special#Part_3|The 24th Wedding Anniversary<br />Special Part 3]]}}</center>


===Transcript===
===Transcript===


{{quote|I'm surprised she did not get her fabrics mixed up with her clothes. And if she wore the real fabrics, well.. Wouldn't have covered much.|Chris}}
--so she had to share.
 
But she had a quite a few...interests of [''unintelligble; swallows and exhales''] But nowadays, she likes to use a computer, but, of course, y’know, back then, she couldn't have- she didn't ''have'' one; they were all in the big business.
 
But back then, she went to school, and she worked hard. And see this, uh, shirt here? That's her school colors: blue and white, because, uh, back in high school...[''dresses Barb character in cheerleader outfit''] she was a [[Snorlax|cheerleader]]. [''does a half-hearted cheerleader impression''] "Rum-bum! Sis-boom-bah! Yay-yay! La-la-la!"
 
Yeah – and one time, when she was a cheerleader in high school, she got...''tackled'' by a football player. Broke her ankle. And ever since then, she could no longer do the twist.
 
Anyway, sh- like I said, her s- her cheerleader years. Batons and pom-poms on her ''um-''brella.
 
Oh – by the way, y'know, I forgot to mention: for- I put the trumpets and the bot- batons here? I used ''Mario Paint'' to design...''one'' set...and then, I multiplied it times four on ''Animal Crossing'' because...a, uh, ''Mario Paint'' stamp is equal to...''one-quarter''...of a whole...''Animal Crossing'' stamp. [''dresses Barb character in original outfit''] By the way, this is a ''daisy'' shirt she's wearing.
 
But anyway, uh, she, uh- she also- a lot- she...likes ''plants'', so she kept...ones...around...then and now.
 
And she also liked to, uh, play games, so there's a...''knight'' here. Yeah.
 
And she also had, uh, classic furniture in her room, and, uh...around the house, because, uh, they belonged to her parents, so here's a ''hutch''. Yeah.


... So she had to share. But she had a quite a few.. Interests at heart. [''Exhales''] And nowadays she likes to use a computer but of course, back then she couldn't have-- she didn't have one. They were all in the big business. But back then she went to school, and she worked hard. And see this shirt here? That's her school colors, blue and white, because, uhh, at High School.. She was a [[Snorlax|cheerleader]]. [''does a shitty cheerleader impression''] ''Ram, bam, sick-oom-bah, yay, yay, fa-la-la''. Yeah.. One time when she was a cheerleader in High School, she got.. Tackled by a football player. Broke her ankle. And ever since then she could no longer do the twist. Anyways, like I said, it was in her cheerleader years, batons and pom-poms on her umbrella. Oh and by the way, y'know, I forgot to mention, for--I put the trumpets and bot--batons here. I used Mario Paint to design one set, then I multiplied it times four on Animal Crossing, 'cuz, a--uhh, Mario Paint stamp is equal to one-quarter of a whole Animal Crossing stamp. By the way, this is a daisy shirt she's wearing.  
So, anyway, let's go up to, uh...''her'' room... [''moves the tour to the second floor''] that she shared with a few of her sisters. Yeah.


Anyway, uhh, she a--she also lodged-- likes plants, so she kept watch.. For 'em.. Then and now (?), and she also liked to, uhh, play games, so there's a.. Knife here (?). Yeah. She also had, uhh, classic furniture in her room and, uhh, around the house because, uhh, it belonged to her parents so here's a hutch (?). Yeah. So anyway, let's go up to, uhh, her room, that she shared with a few of her sisters. Yeah. Like I said, she shared her room with her sisters, so we got a big bed. See that? More than one person can sleep in it. Of course in the lil' room of her's, she, uhh, does things hard, so if sh--[???], not only does she work outside, but she worked inside. She made clothes. So.. Here's a sewing machine at the back. And of course, she worked hard when she went to school, [''what sounds like a fart noise''], so she, err, had a lot of writing to do. And to line up her making clothes, the, uhh, she made prom made dolly or two (?). And here's a couple of her ''fine designs''.  
Like I said, she shared her room with, uh, her ''sisters''...so, we got a big bed. [''rolls back and forth in bed''] See that? More than one person can sleep in it.


Anyway she keep--she kept her clothes in her, uhh, closets, as well as the, uhh, fabrics that she used. Although, y'know, back in her day, I'm surprised she did not get her fabrics [[Random-access humor|mixed up with her clothes]]. And if she wore the real fabrics, well.. Wouldn't have covered much. Anyway 'course she likes to keep pretty, so, uhh, she always liked [''in a baby voice''] to have a widdle fun in de miwwah. So anyway, uhh, we're gonna head downstairs for, uhh, a lil' set part in the, uhh, days of old. This would be what you would call a, uh, kitchen-slash-dining room. "Hey, soup's onn. Who wants soup?" Yea--oh yeah, she also likes to hold st--get old stuff as well so she got a lil' tea-set here. And, uhh, we got a kitchen.. Fridge.. and a stove.. Here's a lil' fan to keep cool with. Keep food in this lil', uhh, pantry. And she keeps her brooms and mops in the old closet here, although if somebody brought out the mop, somebody'd want to clean up [''wat..?'']. You put your garbage in the garbage can. And this is set part. An' you get--an' sometim--in some places now, and, uhh, very few houses now, they will quite happily in the, uhh, old days, the bathroom was in the same room as the kitchen. But luckily we always remember to wash our hands with soap an' water. Yeah.. Anyway that's just in the days of old. Nowadays she does have a private bathroom. Yep. Anyway she's better off now than she was in the old days, because, uhh, we'll time-travel forward. Yeah and now we're going to time-trave forward to the present here.
But, of course, in the little...''room'' of hers...she, uh, does things hard, so she do- does a lot of work. Not only did she work outside, but she worked inside: she made ''clothes''. So, here's a sewing machine for that.


Yep, back to the present we is. But like I said, uhh, Mom and Dad, they, uhh, met each other.. Oh yeah I forgot to tell you how they met [''honor roll, my ass'']. Let's go back into Father's house and sssee how it.. Was. They met over at May's pub, see? Yeah. Maw was just, uhh, sittin' down with her friends, and she was watching, uhh, ''Bobby'', uhh, sing up here. Anyway she liked--she really liked his, uhh, singing so, uhh, sh- as Father put it, she went up to him an' then, uhh, as he passed by change of her--change the Thermo--Thermostat, yeah.. Anyway she chased him down a hallway.. And cornered him. And then, uhh, after that they just talked to e--it is derr--talk things out and, uhh, eg--got to know each other. Found common things. But in 1980 they get married. But that was Father's side of the story, the "chasing down the hallways" thing, because Mom says that's not exactly right. Anyway this is where they met, over here May's pub. And there's a lil' thing you couldn't have without flash plastic milling machines. Trash can.
And, of course, she, uh, worked hard when she went to school... [''something produces [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|a loud farting noise]], and it’s difficult to tell whether it’s the game or Chris''], so she, uh, had a lot of writing to do.


So anyway, this, umm, ahh, this day that this video will be shown, but from day this recorded (?), ''tomorrow'', I mean it was yesterday this was recorded, yeah. That these two were wed, so it was like, twenty-four years ago today that this video was showin'--is showin', that.. That the grue--that the, uhh, Priest said "Bob, do you take this woman to be lubbidy wed wife [''what it sounds like'']? To love and hold and cherish and to honor?"
And to line up her making clothes, the, uh- she made- prob’ly made a dolly or two.


[''In a fucking gay voice''] "'''OI DOO'''"
And here's a couple of her ''fine designs''.


"And do you Barbara, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? To love and cherish and honor forever?"
Anyway, she keep- she kept her clothes in her, uh, closets, as well as her, uh, fabrics that she used. Although, y'know, back in her day, I'm surprised she did not get her fabrics [[Random-access humor|missed up with her clothes]], because if she wore the little fabrics, well...wouldn't’ve covered much!


[''In a voice reminiscant of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glados GLaDOS]''] "''I doo''"
Anyway, of course, she likes to keep ''pretty'', so, uh...she always liked to... [''uses a baby voice''] "have a liddle fun adda miwwah".


"I now pronounce you man and wife you may kiss the bride."
So, anyway, uh, we're gonna head downstairs for, uh, a little sad part in the, uh, days of old. [''moves the tour down to the basement'']


''Whoopee!'' Happy day layer again (?). And now let's take a look at the, umm, house, that [[Love Quest|love]] brought us. See? Here's the family room, although, uhh, above the downstairs that Mom and Dad share. They brought everything with them between the, uhh, ''something old, something borrowed, something new, something blue'' [''Wat.. Just wat..'']. Well, there's a lil' blue there in the, uh, barber's pole. A lil' something ol' crabs house (?). And now of course Father will watch television and fall asleep on this.. Comfy chair... When it's night. Of course, he's awake during the day. And Mom will, uhh, she'll sometimes sleep on the couch. And of course, they, uhh, sleep in the bed here. Big enough for two. And they have a computer to [[Mass debate|surf the web]] with. And, uhh, we used to have a player piano, what does play (?).  
This would be what you would call a, uh, [[Bob Walks In|kitchen-slash-dining room]].


[''messes on with piano and radio - plays the (shitty) "Sonic theme song" tune from Part 1'']
[''does a half-hearted impression of Barb''] "Hey! Soup's on! Who wants soup?"


That's the ticket.
Yeah- oh, yeah – she likes the ''old'' st- to get old stuff, as well, so, she’s got a little ''tea'' set here.
 
And, uh, we got a kitchen...fridge, and a stove.
 
Here's a little fan to keep cool with.
 
Keep food in this little, uh...''pan''try.
 
And she keeps her, uh, brooms and mops in the old closet, here. Although, somebody brought out the mop; somebody wanted to clean up. You put your garbage in the garbage can.
 
And this is the sad part. [[Speech Impediment|And it get- and sometime- in some places nowa- in, uh,]] very few houses nowadays, but what happened in the, uh, ''old'' days: the bathroom was in the same room as, uh, the kitchen.
 
But luckily, [[Chris and health|we always remember to wash our hands with soap and water]].
 
Yeah.
 
But anyway, that's just in the days of old. Nowadays, she ''does'' have a b- private bathroom. Yeah.
 
[''leaves Barb’s house to conclude tour'']
 
But anyway, she's better off now than she was in the old days...because, uh...we'll time-travel...forward.
 
Yeah – now, we're gonna time-travel forward...
 
[jump cut to Chris playing as himself again]
 
...to the ''present'', here.
 
Yep – back to the present, we is!
 
But like I said: uh...Mom and Dad, they, uh, met each other. Oh yeah – I forgot to tell ya how they met. Let's go back into Father's house and sssee how it...was.
 
[''enters Bob’s house and goes down to the basement'']
 
They met over at Matty's pub, see?
 
Yeah. Mom was just, uh, sittin' down with her friend. She was watching, uh, "Bobby", uh, sing up here. And, well, she like-- she really liked his, uh, singing, so, uh, she- as ''Father'' put it: she went up to him, and then, uh...as he passed by to change the Fer- change the Thermo- "Thermostat"? Yeah. Anyway, she chased him down the hallway...and cornered him.
 
And then, uh, after that, sh- they just talked: like, they just, uh, talked things out, and they, uh, g-got to know each other. Found common things.
 
But then, in 1980, they ''did'' get married. But that was ''Father's'' side of the story – the "chasing down the hallway" thing – because Mom says that that's not exactly "right".
 
But anyway, this is where they met: over here at Matty's pub.
 
And there's a little thing that...you couldn't have without Father’s plastic molding machines: a trash can.
 
[''leaves Bob’s house again'']
 
So, anyway, this is on the- this day that this video will be ''shown'' – but on the day that it’s recorded: ''tomorrow''- I mean, it was ''yesterday'' it was recorded – yeah – that these two were wed. So, it was, like, 24 years ago ''today'' that this video was shown- is shown...that- that the brrr-- that the, uh, priest said:
 
[''does a half-hearted impression of a priest''] "Bob, do you take this woman to be your lubbily-wedded wife? To love and hold and cherish, and to honor?"
 
[''uses a foolish voice''] "I do! "
 
[''does same half-hearted impression of a priest''] "And do you, Barbara, take this man to be your lawfully-wedded husband? To love and cherish, and to honor forever?"
 
[''uses a voice that sounds like Portal’s GLaDOS''] "I do!"
 
[''does same half-hearted impression of a priest again''] "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride!"
 
[''does a half-hearted impression of Bob''] "Whoopee!"
 
[''uses a deep, singsong voice''] "Happy days are here again!"
 
And now, let's take a look at the, uh, house...that, uh, [[Love Quest|love]] brought.
 
[''enters Chandler household to start tour of first floor'']
 
This here is the ''family room''...below, uh- above that downstairs that, uh, Mom and Dad share.
 
They brought everything with them between the, uh, "something old, something borrowed, something new, something blue".
 
Well, there's a little blue there in the, uh, ''barber's'' pole. A little something old from Dad's house.
 
But, of course, nowadays, Father will, uh, watch television and fall asleep on this...comfy chair...
 
...when it's night. Of course, he's awake during the day.
 
And Mom will, uh- she'll sometimes sleep on the couch.
 
But, of course, they, uh, sleep in their bed here. Big enough for two!
 
And they have a computer to [[Mass debate|surf the Web]] with.
 
[''swallows and exhales'']
 
And, uh, we used to have a, uh, ''player'' piano.
 
Let us play. [''plays melody'']
 
Hold on a second.
 
Plays better when there's no music on from another source!
 
[''plays incoherent "Sonic" theme'']
 
That's the ticket!


==Part 3==
==Part 3==


<center>{{#ev:youtube|Om04jRARank}}</center>
<center>{{Infobox/video
| name              = The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special Part 3
| ytid              = VGdvjuVVLls
| Stardate          = 07 [[June 2004]]
| Maker            = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter    = {{Video games|text}}; Relatives
| Performance Style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Reason|text}}
| Other            = {{Direct Feed|text}}; {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous          = [[The_24th_Wedding_Anniversary_Special#Part_2|The 24th Wedding Anniversary<br />Special Part 2]]
| next              = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Song|So Need a Cute Girl]]}}</center>
 
===Transcript===
 
But anyway, when- first comes love, then comes marriage...then, they come along with their [[Fuck quest|baby carriage]]. And that's where I came in; born in February 1982 was me.
 
Yeah – just two years after they got- uh, this- ''less'' than two years after they got married.
 
So, anyway, this is ''my'' bedroom...and my, uh, TV, and video games. I'd have an entertainment center, but...they didn't have one of those here in ''Animal Crossing''. So, I had to make do. But it's a big TV.
 
And I got a nice bed, a love couch. Oh – my first video game system was a [[Commodore 64]], here. Good computer, it was; had some great games on it! Of course, I would have to say my ''second'' system after this would be the original Game Boy.
 
Yeah. But anyway, I kept my video- I keep my video games nowadays ‘cause I got lots of 'em on ''shelves''...and stuff. Yeah.
 
But anyway, I got my room decorated with a bunch of posters. Yeah – look at all these posters!
 
Yeah – of course, uh, you got my ''bed'' here; it's my favorite color: blue.
 
[''moves the tour down to the basement'']
 
Yeah – and, uh, along with the few video games, we got more video games down here in the basement. Of course, in the real world, down here in the basement-slash-utility room, it'd be Father's records. But in he- in ''Animal Crossing'', got all my N- got my NES collection down here.
 
Oh – and look at this: [[I Got A Fish|I caught an angel fish]]. This is an angel fish.


{{quote|HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! THANK YOU BOTH FOR MY BIRTH!|Chris}}
Oh – and here's a model! It's a space shuttle. Yeah.


===Transcript===
[''leaves own house to conclude tour'']
 
Anyway, uh, now, we're gonna take a trip back to, uh, Father's house for a special...deal.


...Anyway, when--.. First comes love, then comes marriage, then they come along with their [[Fuck quest|baby carriage]]. And that's where I came in. Born in February 1982 was me. Yeah, two years after they got-- uhh, this--less than two years after they got married. So anyway this is my bedroom, and my, uhh, TV, and video games. I'd have a [???] with Sarah but they didn't have one of those here in Animal Crossing. I had to make do. But it's a big TV. And I got a nice bed a love couch. Oh my first video game system was a Commodore Sisty-Four here. Good computer it was, had some great games on it. Of course I would have to say my second system after this would be the original Game Boy. Yeah but anyway, I kept my videos--I keep my video games nowadays, because I got lots of 'em, on shelves... And stuff.
[''enters Bob’s house while still playing as himself'']


Anyway I got my room decorated with a bunch of posters. Yeah look at all these posters. Yeah of course you got my bed here, it's my favouite color, blue. Yeah along with the few video games we have more video games down here in the basement. Of course, in the real world, down here in the basement-slash-utility room, it'd be Father's records. But in Animal Crossing, [???] got my DS collection down here. Oh, look at this, [[I Got A Fish|I caught an Angel fish]]. This is an Angel fish. Oh, and.. Here's a model. It's a space shuttle. Yeah.
[''goes down to Bob’s basement bar'']


Anyway, uhh, now we're gonna take a trip back to, uhh, Father's house for a specialo.. Deal (?). As a lil' retribution for, ahh, how things were, we're gonna play a lil' number on the jukebox here, but since we don't have side-by-side recording, we're play--we're gonna play.. Sittin' under the apple tree.  
As a little retribution for, uh...how things were, we're gonna play a little number on the jukebox here. But since we don't have "Side by Side" on recording, we're play-- we're gonna play, uh..."Sittin' Under The Apple Tree".  


[''Old jazz comes on'']
[''plays the 1942 hit "Don’t Sit Under The Apple Tree" in full'']


[''Song: Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree - Glenn Miller''] <br>
''"Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me!<br>
''"Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me,<br>
''Anyone else but me!<br>
''Anyone else but meee, <br>
''Ooh! Anyone else but me! No, no, no!<br>
''Oooh, anyone else but me, no, no, no,<br>
''Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me<br>
''Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me,<br>
''Till I come marchin' home!<br>
'' 'Til I come marchin' home,<br>


''Don't go walkin' down lover's lane with anyone else but me,<br>
''Don't go walkin' down lover's lane with anyone else but me!<br>
''Anyone else but meee,<br>
''Anyone else but me!<br>
''Anyone else but meee, no, no, no,<br>
''Anyone else but me! No, no, no!<br>
''Don't go walkin' down lover's lane with anyone else but me,<br>
''Don't go walkin' down lover's lane with anyone else but me<br>
'' 'Til I come marchin' home,<br>
''Till I come marchin' home!<br>


''I just got word from the guy who heard,<br>
''I just got word from a guy who heard<br>
''From the guy next door to meee,<br>
''From the guy next door to me:<br>
''The girl he met just loves to pet,<br>
''The girl he met just loves to pet,<br>
''And it fits you to a T,<br>
''And it fits you to a tee! So...<br>
''So, don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me,<br>
''Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me<br>
'' 'Til I come marchin' hoooome,<br>
''Till I come marchin' home!<br>
 
''Don't give out with those lips of yours to anyone else but me!<br>
''Anyone else but me!<br>
''Anyone else but me! No, no, no!<br>
''Watch the girls on the foreign shores? You'll have to report to me<br>
''When you come marchin' home!<br>
 
''Don't hold anyone on your knee! You better be true to me!<br>
''You better be true to me!<br>
''You better be true to me!<br>
''Don't hold anyone on your knee! You're gettin' the third degree<br>
''When you come marchin' home!<br>
 
''You're on your own where there is no phone<br>
''And I can't keep tabs on you!<br>
''Be fair to me, I'll guarantee<br>
''This is one thing that I'll do:<br>
''I won't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but you<br>
''Till you come marchin' home!<br>
 
''Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me!<br>
''I know the apple tree<br>
''Is reserved for you and me!<br>
''And I'll be true<br>
''Till you come marchin' home!''"
 
And there you have a nice little blast from the past!
 
Now, we're gonna take a trip back up here... [''heads back upstairs and leaves Bob’s house''] and we're back outside.


''Don't give out with those lips of yours to anyone else but me,<br>
And now, for, uh, my mom and dad: a little something special for this, uh, video.
''Anyone else but me, anyone else but me, no, no, no,<br>
''Watch those girls on foreign shores, you'll have to report to me,<br>
''When you come marchin' home,<br>


''Don't hold anyone on your knee, you better be true to me,<br>
This is my way of saying "Happy B- Anniversary" to y'all.
''You better be true to me, you better be true to me,<br>
''Don't hold anyone on your knee, you're gettin' the third degree,<br>
''When you come marchin' home,<br>


''You're on your own where there is no phone,<br>
Coming up next:
''And I can't keep tabs on you,<br>
''Be fair to me, I'll guarantee,<br>
''This is one thing that I'll do,<br>
''I won't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but you,<br>
'' 'Til you come marchin' home,<br>


''Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me,<br>
[''smash cut to a ridiculously crude computer drawing of a wedding cake with the words "To Mom & Dad. / HAPPY / ANNIVERSARY / THANK YOU BOTH FOR MY BIRTH! / Love Christian C." written on its several layers'']
''I know the apple tree is reserved for you and meee,<br>
''And I'll be true 'til you come marchin' hoooome.''<br>


And there you have a nice lil' classic jazz. Now we're gonna take a trip back up here. Now we're back outside. And now for my Mom and Dad, who have something special for this, uhh, video. This my way of saying "Happy Anniversary" to y'all. Coming up--
[''a grating ''Mario Paint'' rendition of "Happy Birthday" plays several times as [[Sonichu Zip|an image of Sonichu zips]] across the screen from left to right over and over again'']


[''Really bad version of "Happy Birthday", no doubt made on Mario Paint.'']
Yeah. [''sounding suddenly emotional (or else congested)''] I love you both! Thank y'all for givin' birth to me, y'know. So, now, we're gonna pretty much end this documentary special.


[''A big multi-layered cake with the words "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! THANK YOU BOTH FOR MY BIRTH! Christian C." scrawled across each layer.'']
[''all in-game fliers from the beginning of the video scroll by in reverse'']


(''Because a cake, a bad happy birthday tune, and reminding them they gave birth to a complete [[Autism|fucktard]] is classed as an anniversary present these days'')
Let’s see...where did this go?


Yeah. I love you both. Thank y'all for givin' birth to me, y'know. Now we're gonna pretty much end this documentary special. [''inaudible mumbling''] Okay here it is.  
Yeah here it is.


[''sings to the tune of "William Tell Overture"'']
[''sings roughly to the tune of the [[Wikipedia:William Tell Overture|William Tell Overture]]'s finale while scrolling back through the fliers glimpsed earlier'']


''♪ Happy anniversary, happy ann-i-vers-a-ry, happy anniversary, haaaapy anniversary. Lalalalalalalalalala laaa laaaa! Lalalalalalalalala laa laaa laaaa! OHHHH! Happy anniversary, happy ann-i-vers-a-ry, happy anniversary, haaaapy anniversary. Dudududududududu doh dohhh! Ladadadadada doh dohhhhhhh! Happy anniversary, happy ann-i-vers-a-ry, happy anniversary, haaaapy anniversary Dududududududududu dooo dooo doooooo. Lududududu dooo doooo. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. ♪ ''
Happy anniversary! Happy anniversary!<br>
Happy anniversary! Haaappy anniversary!<br>
La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la, la-la, la-la, laaa-laaaa!<br>
La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la, laa-laa-laaaa! Ohhh!<br>
Happy anniversary! Happy anniversary!<br>
Happy anniversary! Haaappy anniversary!<br>
Dun-duh, dun-duh, dun-duh, dun-duh, dun-duh, dun-duh, doh-dohh-dohhh!<br>
La-ta, duh-tuh, di-tuh, di-tuh, doh-doh-dohh! Ohhhhhh!<br>
Happy anniversary! Happy anniversary!<br>
Happy anniversary! Haaappy anniversary!<br>
Loo-too, doo-too, doo-too, doo-too, doo-too, doo-too, doo-doo-dooo!<br>
Loo-too, doo-too, doo-too, doo-doo-dooo!<br>
[''sounding suddenly passionate (or else in terrible pain) as he retreats into his own house while moaning one final verse'']<br>
Ohhhhhhhh!


'Til the next time. Goodnight folks! Thank you and goodnight.
[''resumes speaking normally'']


''Till next tiiime...''


Good night, folks!


[''continues filming, even though all he’s doing is saving his game data'']


{{Videos}}
Thank you, and good night!


{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]|nextlink=[[So Need a Cute Girl]]|}}


[[Category:Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)]]
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{CWC on TV}}
{{Game Videos}}
[[Category:Chris-chan videos before 2007| 2004-06-07]]
[[Category:Videos About or Featuring Farts]]

Latest revision as of 02:22, 28 August 2024

"Thanks for not aborting me!"

The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special is a machinima of Animal Crossing that Chris made as a gift for Bob and Barbara Chandler in spring 2004. This creation offers a wealth of information regarding Chris's parents, such as how they met in a bar. It also shows us the unoriginality of Chris's artistic skills, and that Chris would rather play video games in his parents' names than instead of buying them a good gift.

It is notable that Chris thanks his parents for his birth, not his upbringing. Apparently, giving existence to Chris was a major accomplishment in and of itself.

Part 1

The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special Part 1
Direct link YouTube, archive
Stardate 7th June 2004
Subject Matter Video gamesVideo games Video Games; Family
Performance Style ComedyComedy Comedy, ReasonReason Reason
Other MachinimaMachinima Machinima; LeakedLeaked Leaked
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
previous
Animal Crossing Documentary
next
The 24th Wedding Anniversary
Special Part 2

Transcript

[two in-game flyers appear]

Nintendo Presents / A Christian/Sonichu Production

For Barbara & Robert Chandler (Christian' Mom & Dad) / It's...

[the game's respective Nintendo logo appears as the opening theme plays over the menu screen]

[another in-game flyer appears]

The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special / Now here's your host, Christian Chandler!

[four more in-game flyers scroll by in a blur]

Most of everything was done by Christian Chandler. / Games used for this program: Animal Crossing, Mario Paint

With Special Thanks to Nintendo, Barbara Chandler, Robert Chandler, Christian Chandler

This has been a / Christian/Sonichu production. / The End

Stay Tuned for Behind the Scenes Action...

[one last in-game flyer appears]

Due to limited items, the following program may have some inaccurate furniture for each parent...

[starts playing Animal Crossing as himself]

Hi, Mom and Dad. How're you doing? This is my little present for y'all: a little...documentary for y'all, here in Animal Crossing for Nintendo GameCube...about how y'all were, and how you are now, and so forth. So, take a trip back in time with me, won't you, as we explore, uh, how each of you were.

Of course, first, we'll travel back in time too...

[jump cut to Chris playing as Bob]

...the time of good ol' Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr. He was a hip youngster back in his day. And, uh...all that stuff he...was- he fought in the war, he likes- well, he worked- he worked hard, and stuff. Let's take a look inside his château, and, uh...see what describes him as him.

[enters Bob’s house to start tour of first floor]

He collects records, and he's got lots of 'em, and he's got so many shelves. He likes to call 'em a record case. Yeah.

Anyway, let's see, uh, he likes to, uh, make models, and he likes trains. This is a train model set. Look: it's got a cute little tunnel. Yeah.

And, y’know, this- he didn't have it back then, but he has it now. He likes to sit back and watch television.

Like I said, he likes scale models. And here's a good model: a rocket. Yeah. He was a technical engineer over at, uh, General Electric Company. Yup – he designed the controls for plastic molding machines, so, without him, you couldn't have the plastic for, uh...say, the toy train, here. Yes.

And he also, uh, went around the world a bit. One place: he went to New York. See, there's the Statue of Liberty, there.

He also, uh- he was born in, uh, Texas. That's why we have this little cactus here. Oh, and here's a little bo- ship in a bottle, here, 'cause, y'know, he did go around the world. At least by water.

He was born a Cherokee in, uh, Texas. Actually, he was- he was, like, one-sisteenths Cherokee. But...that's why we have this totem pole here. And this Chinese Lion here...that's, uh- he was- he's been- he's been to Korea...for a war in...World War II, I believe it was. And he got...a conduct Medal of Honor, so, that's what this is right here.

And you'll notice this is his shirt. It's a...blue tar-tan. Same pattern as is his, uh, regular shirt. That's what they call it in Animal Crossing. This pattern here for his um-brella is a composition of four trumpets, 'cause, uh...he likes music. Of course.

Of course, he likes to think, so, while he's thinking he, uh...pays the bills on his, uh...desk, and, uh...nowadays, he uses a computer, but back in the da- back in his old days, the- a computer would fill up a whole room...and it would have been much bigger than a refrigerator. And everybody in the business loved computers. [does an impression of a baby computer] "I love you, big com-pyu-dah."

Which I could say the same thing for, uh, a radio. Back then, in the 1930s, it was the size of a refrigerator. And everybody loved the radio, as well. [does a half-hearted impression of Bob] "I love you, radio".

And, of course, when he does his, uh, thinking, he, uh-- so, he likes wipin' out. He may have had one before, but he doesn't have one now: a chalkboard. And you know what he's thinkin' about at this moment? Social studies. [laughs like Peter Griffin] That's written by de-fault on the chalkboard. And, of course, he likes to play games, so we have this little chessboard here.

And, uh, he's a bit of an outdoors person, as well... [moves the tour to the second floor] so, here's a representation of our backyard...or, probably "his" backyard, in the day.

Anyway, we have, uh...yeah – sprinklers watering the garden. We have a little pond. Hey! [does another half-hearted impression of Bob] "Who's up for a burgerrr? Who's up for a burgerrr?" Yeah.

He can also look into outer space, with this telescope. Mmm...I see there's the, uh...Sun. I can't look directly into it because it's so bright. If I turn it a little bit...oh – look – I see the Moon. The Mooon-a.

And, of course, he, uh, takes care of his, uh, yard and flowers, so, he usually likes to...mow the lawn. Mow the lawn. Mow the lawn.

And, uh, when he can, with, uh...with his, uh, girlfriend, back in the day, was Barbara. Yeah. Take her on a picnic. Yeah. Nice little picnic table.

So, now, we go downstairs to another point- another good point in his, uh, life: [moves the tour down to the basement] Good ol' Manny's Pub. Yeah. Got everything.

He, uh, drank coffee 'round here, an'...stuff. But most of the time, around here, in Manny's pub, he sang...up here on the stage. Along with the, uh...classic jazz music of the day.

And, of course, y’know, in a pub, you always have a bartender.

[does yet another half-hearted impression of Bob] "Hey, barkeep! Lemme have a, uh, martini, will ya?"

[does impression of bartender] "I'm sorry, bud, but we have no martinis."

[returns to same bad impression of Bob] "Oh, okay, then, just get me a...b-brewski."

[does impression of same bartender suddenly drunk] "One beer, comin' up!"

[chuckles]

At bars, you notice, of course, they have a...telephone to talk to, uh, people. Of course, uh, yeah, back then-- [reassures himself] yeah, they had telephones.

And, of course, like I see, I've been into good music, so...

Here's a good ezzample. [plays unrecognizable melody on piano]

Here, uh, let me give that to you again. [plays same unrecognizable melody]

That's a little tune I whipped up: uh, Sonic's theme song. That's, uh...that's a town tune...that’s on there.

And, of course, he also likes the, uh, other classical instruments, such as a cello. He should- he should’ve hung around in a room that was mellow; then, he wouldn't've liked the cello!

[leaves Bob’s house to conclude tour]

But anyway, uh, that's pretty much the last of Bob Chandler. Of course, in no- in a- in a hero business, he's also known as "Flower Man"...‘cause he saves flowers' lives more than humans'.

So, now...let's time travel...to another time...

[jump cut to Chris playing as Barbara]

...for- yeah – the time of Barbara Chandler...which- here she is. But, of course, uh, naturally, she has brown hair, but since it’s Animal Crossing, they gave me blue hair by de-fault.

But anyway, let's go into her house and see what her lifestyle is.

[enters Barbara’s house to start tour of first floor]

Back in her childhood, they had a small house, but, yeah, she had many brothers and sisters-

Part 2

The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special Part 2
Direct link YouTube, archive
Stardate 07 June 2004
Subject Matter Video gamesVideo games Video Games; Family
Performance Style ComedyComedy Comedy, ReasonReason Reason
Other MachinimaMachinima Machinima; LeakedLeaked Leaked
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
previous
The 24th Wedding Anniversary
Special Part 1
next
The 24th Wedding Anniversary
Special Part 3

Transcript

--so she had to share.

But she had a quite a few...interests of [unintelligble; swallows and exhales] But nowadays, she likes to use a computer, but, of course, y’know, back then, she couldn't have- she didn't have one; they were all in the big business.

But back then, she went to school, and she worked hard. And see this, uh, shirt here? That's her school colors: blue and white, because, uh, back in high school...[dresses Barb character in cheerleader outfit] she was a cheerleader. [does a half-hearted cheerleader impression] "Rum-bum! Sis-boom-bah! Yay-yay! La-la-la!"

Yeah – and one time, when she was a cheerleader in high school, she got...tackled by a football player. Broke her ankle. And ever since then, she could no longer do the twist.

Anyway, sh- like I said, her s- her cheerleader years. Batons and pom-poms on her um-brella.

Oh – by the way, y'know, I forgot to mention: for- I put the trumpets and the bot- batons here? I used Mario Paint to design...one set...and then, I multiplied it times four on Animal Crossing because...a, uh, Mario Paint stamp is equal to...one-quarter...of a whole...Animal Crossing stamp. [dresses Barb character in original outfit] By the way, this is a daisy shirt she's wearing.

But anyway, uh, she, uh- she also- a lot- she...likes plants, so she kept...ones...around...then and now.

And she also liked to, uh, play games, so there's a...knight here. Yeah.

And she also had, uh, classic furniture in her room, and, uh...around the house, because, uh, they belonged to her parents, so here's a hutch. Yeah.

So, anyway, let's go up to, uh...her room... [moves the tour to the second floor] that she shared with a few of her sisters. Yeah.

Like I said, she shared her room with, uh, her sisters...so, we got a big bed. [rolls back and forth in bed] See that? More than one person can sleep in it.

But, of course, in the little...room of hers...she, uh, does things hard, so she do- does a lot of work. Not only did she work outside, but she worked inside: she made clothes. So, here's a sewing machine for that.

And, of course, she, uh, worked hard when she went to school... [something produces a loud farting noise, and it’s difficult to tell whether it’s the game or Chris], so she, uh, had a lot of writing to do.

And to line up her making clothes, the, uh- she made- prob’ly made a dolly or two.

And here's a couple of her fine designs.

Anyway, she keep- she kept her clothes in her, uh, closets, as well as her, uh, fabrics that she used. Although, y'know, back in her day, I'm surprised she did not get her fabrics missed up with her clothes, because if she wore the little fabrics, well...wouldn't’ve covered much!

Anyway, of course, she likes to keep pretty, so, uh...she always liked to... [uses a baby voice] "have a liddle fun adda miwwah".

So, anyway, uh, we're gonna head downstairs for, uh, a little sad part in the, uh, days of old. [moves the tour down to the basement]

This would be what you would call a, uh, kitchen-slash-dining room.

[does a half-hearted impression of Barb] "Hey! Soup's on! Who wants soup?"

Yeah- oh, yeah – she likes the old st- to get old stuff, as well, so, she’s got a little tea set here.

And, uh, we got a kitchen...fridge, and a stove.

Here's a little fan to keep cool with.

Keep food in this little, uh...pantry.

And she keeps her, uh, brooms and mops in the old closet, here. Although, somebody brought out the mop; somebody wanted to clean up. You put your garbage in the garbage can.

And this is the sad part. And it get- and sometime- in some places nowa- in, uh, very few houses nowadays, but what happened in the, uh, old days: the bathroom was in the same room as, uh, the kitchen.

But luckily, we always remember to wash our hands with soap and water.

Yeah.

But anyway, that's just in the days of old. Nowadays, she does have a b- private bathroom. Yeah.

[leaves Barb’s house to conclude tour]

But anyway, she's better off now than she was in the old days...because, uh...we'll time-travel...forward.

Yeah – now, we're gonna time-travel forward...

[jump cut to Chris playing as himself again]

...to the present, here.

Yep – back to the present, we is!

But like I said: uh...Mom and Dad, they, uh, met each other. Oh yeah – I forgot to tell ya how they met. Let's go back into Father's house and sssee how it...was.

[enters Bob’s house and goes down to the basement]

They met over at Matty's pub, see?

Yeah. Mom was just, uh, sittin' down with her friend. She was watching, uh, "Bobby", uh, sing up here. And, well, she like-- she really liked his, uh, singing, so, uh, she- as Father put it: she went up to him, and then, uh...as he passed by to change the Fer- change the Thermo- "Thermostat"? Yeah. Anyway, she chased him down the hallway...and cornered him.

And then, uh, after that, sh- they just talked: like, they just, uh, talked things out, and they, uh, g-got to know each other. Found common things.

But then, in 1980, they did get married. But that was Father's side of the story – the "chasing down the hallway" thing – because Mom says that that's not exactly "right".

But anyway, this is where they met: over here at Matty's pub.

And there's a little thing that...you couldn't have without Father’s plastic molding machines: a trash can.

[leaves Bob’s house again]

So, anyway, this is on the- this day that this video will be shown – but on the day that it’s recorded: tomorrow- I mean, it was yesterday it was recorded – yeah – that these two were wed. So, it was, like, 24 years ago today that this video was shown- is shown...that- that the brrr-- that the, uh, priest said:

[does a half-hearted impression of a priest] "Bob, do you take this woman to be your lubbily-wedded wife? To love and hold and cherish, and to honor?"

[uses a foolish voice] "I do! "

[does same half-hearted impression of a priest] "And do you, Barbara, take this man to be your lawfully-wedded husband? To love and cherish, and to honor forever?"

[uses a voice that sounds like Portal’s GLaDOS] "I do!"

[does same half-hearted impression of a priest again] "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride!"

[does a half-hearted impression of Bob] "Whoopee!"

[uses a deep, singsong voice] "Happy days are here again!"

And now, let's take a look at the, uh, house...that, uh, love brought.

[enters Chandler household to start tour of first floor]

This here is the family room...below, uh- above that downstairs that, uh, Mom and Dad share.

They brought everything with them between the, uh, "something old, something borrowed, something new, something blue".

Well, there's a little blue there in the, uh, barber's pole. A little something old from Dad's house.

But, of course, nowadays, Father will, uh, watch television and fall asleep on this...comfy chair...

...when it's night. Of course, he's awake during the day.

And Mom will, uh- she'll sometimes sleep on the couch.

But, of course, they, uh, sleep in their bed here. Big enough for two!

And they have a computer to surf the Web with.

[swallows and exhales]

And, uh, we used to have a, uh, player piano.

Let us play. [plays melody]

Hold on a second.

Plays better when there's no music on from another source!

[plays incoherent "Sonic" theme]

That's the ticket!

Part 3

The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special Part 3
Direct link YouTube, archive
Stardate 07 June 2004
Subject Matter Video gamesVideo games Video Games; Relatives
Performance Style ComedyComedy Comedy, ReasonReason Reason
Other MachinimaMachinima Machinima; LeakedLeaked Leaked
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
previous
The 24th Wedding Anniversary
Special Part 2
next
So Need a Cute Girl

Transcript

But anyway, when- first comes love, then comes marriage...then, they come along with their baby carriage. And that's where I came in; born in February 1982 was me.

Yeah – just two years after they got- uh, this- less than two years after they got married.

So, anyway, this is my bedroom...and my, uh, TV, and video games. I'd have an entertainment center, but...they didn't have one of those here in Animal Crossing. So, I had to make do. But it's a big TV.

And I got a nice bed, a love couch. Oh – my first video game system was a Commodore 64, here. Good computer, it was; had some great games on it! Of course, I would have to say my second system after this would be the original Game Boy.

Yeah. But anyway, I kept my video- I keep my video games nowadays ‘cause I got lots of 'em on shelves...and stuff. Yeah.

But anyway, I got my room decorated with a bunch of posters. Yeah – look at all these posters!

Yeah – of course, uh, you got my bed here; it's my favorite color: blue.

[moves the tour down to the basement]

Yeah – and, uh, along with the few video games, we got more video games down here in the basement. Of course, in the real world, down here in the basement-slash-utility room, it'd be Father's records. But in he- in Animal Crossing, got all my N- got my NES collection down here.

Oh – and look at this: I caught an angel fish. This is an angel fish.

Oh – and here's a model! It's a space shuttle. Yeah.

[leaves own house to conclude tour]

Anyway, uh, now, we're gonna take a trip back to, uh, Father's house for a special...deal.

[enters Bob’s house while still playing as himself]

[goes down to Bob’s basement bar]

As a little retribution for, uh...how things were, we're gonna play a little number on the jukebox here. But since we don't have "Side by Side" on recording, we're play-- we're gonna play, uh..."Sittin' Under The Apple Tree".

[plays the 1942 hit "Don’t Sit Under The Apple Tree" in full]

"Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me!
Anyone else but me!
Ooh! Anyone else but me! No, no, no!
Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me
Till I come marchin' home!

Don't go walkin' down lover's lane with anyone else but me!
Anyone else but me!
Anyone else but me! No, no, no!
Don't go walkin' down lover's lane with anyone else but me
Till I come marchin' home!

I just got word from a guy who heard
From the guy next door to me:
The girl he met just loves to pet,
And it fits you to a tee! So...
Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me
Till I come marchin' home!

Don't give out with those lips of yours to anyone else but me!
Anyone else but me!
Anyone else but me! No, no, no!
Watch the girls on the foreign shores? You'll have to report to me
When you come marchin' home!

Don't hold anyone on your knee! You better be true to me!
You better be true to me!
You better be true to me!
Don't hold anyone on your knee! You're gettin' the third degree
When you come marchin' home!

You're on your own where there is no phone
And I can't keep tabs on you!
Be fair to me, I'll guarantee
This is one thing that I'll do:
I won't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but you
Till you come marchin' home!

Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me!
I know the apple tree
Is reserved for you and me!
And I'll be true
Till you come marchin' home!"

And there you have a nice little blast from the past!

Now, we're gonna take a trip back up here... [heads back upstairs and leaves Bob’s house] and we're back outside.

And now, for, uh, my mom and dad: a little something special for this, uh, video.

This is my way of saying "Happy B- Anniversary" to y'all.

Coming up next:

[smash cut to a ridiculously crude computer drawing of a wedding cake with the words "To Mom & Dad. / HAPPY / ANNIVERSARY / THANK YOU BOTH FOR MY BIRTH! / Love Christian C." written on its several layers]

[a grating Mario Paint rendition of "Happy Birthday" plays several times as an image of Sonichu zips across the screen from left to right over and over again]

Yeah. [sounding suddenly emotional (or else congested)] I love you both! Thank y'all for givin' birth to me, y'know. So, now, we're gonna pretty much end this documentary special.

[all in-game fliers from the beginning of the video scroll by in reverse]

Let’s see...where did this go?

Yeah – here it is.

[sings roughly to the tune of the William Tell Overture's finale while scrolling back through the fliers glimpsed earlier]

Happy anniversary! Happy anniversary!
Happy anniversary! Haaappy anniversary!
La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la, la-la, la-la, laaa-laaaa!
La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la, laa-laa-laaaa! Ohhh!
Happy anniversary! Happy anniversary!
Happy anniversary! Haaappy anniversary!
Dun-duh, dun-duh, dun-duh, dun-duh, dun-duh, dun-duh, doh-dohh-dohhh!
La-ta, duh-tuh, di-tuh, di-tuh, doh-doh-dohh! Ohhhhhh!
Happy anniversary! Happy anniversary!
Happy anniversary! Haaappy anniversary!
Loo-too, doo-too, doo-too, doo-too, doo-too, doo-too, doo-doo-dooo!
Loo-too, doo-too, doo-too, doo-doo-dooo!
[sounding suddenly passionate (or else in terrible pain) as he retreats into his own house while moaning one final verse]
Ohhhhhhhh!

[resumes speaking normally]

Till next tiiime...

Good night, folks!

[continues filming, even though all he’s doing is saving his game data]

Thank you, and good night!

Animal Crossing Documentary Chris's videos So Need a Cute Girl
Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)

Regular DVD: Sonic Watch & Win Sweepstakes • "Song of Christian" • Mario Kart 64 Lego RacewayChris Chan in the PokéNewsThe City of Cwicville Tour!Animal Crossing DocumentaryThe 24th Wedding Anniversary Special • "So Need a Cute Girl" • "All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend" • Harvey Birdman commercialPixelated PS3FUTURE MESSAGEKCWC broadcastCWC Slideshow NotesSlideshow images
Director's Cut: ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004ChrisAfterChristmas2004