Chris's Interviews

Over the course of time, Chris has had a lot of fascinating things happen in his life, being almost impossible for others to comprehend all of it, wanting to ask him questions. Some people have been very lucky and managed to do interviews with Chris, whether it through Skype or in the flesh.

The Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes

On 26 February 1994, Chris had won the Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes, and an anchorwoman got to do an interview with a 12 year old Christian.

The Interview

Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes
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Search for video	YouTube, archive
Stardate	26 February 1994
Subject Matter	Television Television Video games Video Games
Shirt	Rainbow The Rainbow Flag
Other	Leaked Leaked
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
previous n/a	next Song of Christian

Transcript

Anchorwoman: Well, we've got a little more for ya', including what Sonic the Hedgehog means to a very special Charlottesville boy. And the significance goes way beyond the high score and videos.

[One clip cuts out and another begins.]

Anchorwoman: Finally, tonight, Sonic the Hedgehog is running wildly in the Chandler household this weekend. 12-year-old Christian Chandler of Charlottesville was the winner in a video game shopping spree. Christian is one of only about a hundred winners nationally to receive $1,000 worth of Sega games and equipment. For his parents, it’s just another example of how well he's doing. Christian is a high-functioning autistic child. This past fall, of his own initiative, he entered a contest based on a favorite cartoon character.

Cashier: [quiet] $980.8...

Chris: ...I had to do was exactly...watch Sonic the Hedgehog...uh, cartoon...an—and risten to what Sonic says at the end of it…and writin' it down for a whole week. And then, I had to mail it in, and I had to be drawn out of a hat, and I just won!

Anchorwoman: And Christian's father says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game and then...move onto another!

Co-anchor: Unbelievable...

Anchorwoman: I can't master any of ’em! That's it for now, and it’s just...comin’ up on the NBA basketball game at 5:30. It’s not 6:30; it’s 5:30. We'll see you back here at 11:00. Thanks for watching.

Co-anchor: Good night.

Black Anchorman: Buh-bye.

[An NBC Dateline News notice appears before the clip cuts out, making a weird "hweeur" noise, and another begins.]

Anchorwoman: —winners nationally to receive $1,000 worth of Sega video games and equipment. Christian is autistic, but he's entering the contest completely of his own accord was a sign to his parents of how well he is getting along.

Cashier: [quiet] $980.8...

Chris: ...I had to do was exactly...watch Sonic the Hedgehog...uh, cartoon...an—and risten to what Sonic says at the end of it…and writin' it down for a whole week. And then, I had to mail it in, and I had to be drawn out of a hat, and I just won!

Anchorwoman: And Christian's father says it only takes a few hours for the boy to master one of the electronic games before he moves onto another one.

An Interview with the Chris-Chan

On the 17th of October 2008, Chris was granted his first official interview since his rise to internet fame, through PSN.

Video

An Interview with the Chris-Chan
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Stardate	17 October 2008
Subject Matter	Politics Politics, Trolls Trolls, Homos Homos
Performance Style	Reason Reason
Saga	Blanca Blanca
Shirt	Green White Stripe The Shamrock Stripes
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
previous Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008	next Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008

Transcript

Interviewer 1: So, um, what do you think of Barack. Just tell me, please.

Chris: I just don’t care much for him.

Interviewer 1: Why, you know, why? Be specific, man. You’re smart.

Interviewer 2: Yeah, you’re a smart guy.

Chris: Well…there’s a theory that, uh, if Obama went to the White House he would probably paint it black.

[DMX's "X Gon' Give It to Ya" plays as a video depicts Obama in front of a black White House, flying a KFC flag with large buckets of KFC over the front lawn.]

Interviewer 1: But, why do you think he’s going to pain the White House black. Just, why? I mean it’s like me painting my house green for no damn reason

Interviewer 2: It’s cause you like pickles.

Chris: [sigh] Can we not talk about pickles, please?

[Jump cut]

Interviewer 2: Are you aware that people on YouTube are, uh, claiming that they stole your medallion?

Chris: Hmm… It’s on me right now, so there...so, uhh, they're telling lies.

Interviewer 2: They said something about you made another one and it’s two times bigger like… like, uhh… It's false, isn't it? Because it’s on you, right?

Chris: Yeah, it's mostly… yeah it's mostly false. Yeah.

Interviewer 2: Mostly false? I mean, what's… what’s not false about it, then?

Chris: I’d rather not talk about it and don’t worry about it. I mean…I mean they’re just blowing off smoke and uhh…they’re jealous of, ya know, some of my success and what not so it’s just best to ignore them. Don’t worry about them.

Interviewer 2: Golden. That’s golden.

[Jump cut]

Interviewer 2: Damn, Chris. Sonichu and, uh, the Jiggliami medallion, I’m just glad they’re all safe, ya know. They… they go me going there when they showed me those medallions. I mean they look exactly like the one you had. Like, I was fooled. Like, this is why I asked you because they were picture-perfect.

Chris: [under his breath] Alright, mmm hmm.

Interviewer 2: So how did, how did that get into his possession, like uhh… you sent it to Blanca and how did they get it, how did it get to their possession in the first place?

Chris: They were, they were living nearby her and they just intercepted the mail.

Interviewer 2: Wow.

[Jump cut]

Interviewer 2: What’s up with the pickles, dude?

Chris: I hate pickles.

Interviewer 2: Who is the man in the pickle suit?

[Significant laughter in the background.]

Chris: I don’t know who that guy is and I don’t think I really would care to know.

Interviewer 2: I mean, there’s actually someone in a pickle suit that you know and you hate him. [Background laughter]

Chris: Yeah, I don’t know who that person is.

[Jump cut]

Interviewer 2: I’m sorry. I just wanted to ask you, like, what do you, like, do you hate gay people?

Chris: Yeah.

[Clip of Chris Crocker crying, “you bastard”]

Interviewer 2: You hate gay people.

Chris: Yeah.

Interviewer 2: Oh, okay.

[Jump cut]

Chris: Hang on a moment.

Interviewer 2: Alright.

[ Barbara presumably walks into Chris’s room. Chris sets his camera down on his bed]]

Chris: Hi mom. I’m alright. How are you.

[Chris and Barb talk as the interviewers laugh to themselves]

Barbara: You should be sorry, too. [mumbling]

Chris: I’m talk…I talking to a couple of people on the internet on the PlayStation Network…Well…I’ll consider it. I’ll talk to you later. (picks up his camera) Alright, well, that was my mom. She entered and left.

Interviewer 2: Yeah, we saw that, Chris.

[Jump cut]

Interviewer 2: Ya know, you’ve got to be a respectable person.

Chris: Yup.

Interviewer 2: Yeah. Yup. A person that, uh, you know, we have to be, uh, we have to be, uh, you know, respectable people. We can't be pickles.

["WTF BOOM" soundclip and footage of a mushroom cloud exploding.]

CatKnight Interviews

Roughly 8 years after the PSN interview, CatKnight/MasterDisaster AKA Arthur Spatchcock of England interviews, interviewed Chris 5 times.

Interview #1

CatKnight Interview
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Stardate	23 January 2016
Featuring	Chris; CatKnight/Arthur Spatchcock
Audio Recordings
previous N/A	next CatKnight Interview 2

Transcript

Part 1

Chris: Hello?

Arthur: Hello there! Yes, Christine!

Chris: Yes.

Arthur: It is my distinct honor to be talking to you. As you know, I'm Arthur Spatchcock. It's a pleasure, really it is.

Chris: ...Thank you.

Arthur: I've been a long-time fan of Sonichu. I mean, implacably so.

Chris: Hm.

Arthur: My favorite character, actually, is Magi-Chan, to be honest.

Chris: ...Oh, do tell me why?

Arthur: Magi-Chan, it's because of his-- you know, he wants to help all of his friends, and with his ability to contact them all simultaenously at the same time, it's an amazing ability to have.

Chris: Quite, he is the psychic type, after all.

Arthur: Right, yes. And I absolutely love the fact that, you know, he can plan things accordingly and contact everyone, simultaneously, and get that plan out.

Chris: He can also see into the future a bit as well.

Arthur: How far into the future can he see, actually? He doesn't want to ruin his own future, right?

Chris: Hm. Not enough to, uhh... Well, he knows quite-- he can see quite a bit far into the future, but although there are details of which you might not be able to see, a point or two.

Arthur: Right, he wouldn't want to time-logic himself, accidentally mess up the future by trying to affect it.

Chris: Quite.

Arthur: Yes. Also a big fan of Rosechu; I think every, I think every Sonichu fan loves Rosechu.

Chris: Thank you.

Arthur Of course. Now, as I said, I'm interviewing you because I want to get some personal information about Sonichu and a little bit about yourself.

Chris: Uh--

Arthur: For example, I cannot wait to see some more pages of the latest chapter -- chapter eleven -- great, the Christmas special was fantastic; loving Kevin as a character, by the way.

Chris: ...Okay, thank you.

Arthur: But uh, are there more coming? Because I can tell you right now, I know a few rabid fans, my niece included, who can't wait to see some more.

Chris: Yes, uh, yes, more pages will be coming and are still, are still in the, uh, works, it just, uh, depends on my mood, and how I feel in a days, 'cause...

Arthur: Oh yes, we -- we all get the frumps.

Chris: Nobody's perfect.

Arthur: Yes, we all get the frumps.

Chris: ...Quite. But they're still-- they're still in my mind, and in the processes, and everything. I just take it one moment at a time and I do what I can when I'm able.

Arthur: Absolutely, you go at your pace, that's what I expect. I don't want you to rush yourself.

Chris: ...Indeed.

Arthur: And as for your medallions and stuff, I'm still thinking about getting one, but honestly, I just don't know where I could ever wear it.

Chris: Ha! I know: you could always, display it at the very least.

Arthur: Yes, very true. And your Amiibo collection is getting quite large, actually.

Chris: ...Well I have a wide variety of characters, and uh, a few more to come out, there's-- to expect.

Arthur: Have you considered releasing a box set at some point, with a special edition? Maybe -- ooh! How about this: a Christian-- a Christine Weston Chandler ultimate box set, the first edition set, all ten of the original completed comics, and a medallion of your choice, for a hundred dollars.

Chris: [minor stress sigh] For a hundred dollars? Th-that's, that's quite, that's uh, it'd take more funds for me to, more funds than that for me to be able to acquire the material figures...

Arthur: Oh, well we can worry about those details in the uh, the process, the manufacturing aspect. I'm talking about after we make this stuff BIG, Christine. Not right now. Once you get some-- once you actually get some, uh, CLOUT behind Sonichu, you won't have to worry about things like funding anymore.

Chris: ...Well... Uh I'll just, I'll just wait and see how it comes about, and when it comes about I'll be able to plan better.

Arthur: Precisely. So, okay, I guess we should get to the question part. This conversation's great, but I don't want to waste all of your time, you might-- you must be very busy working on smaller projects as is.

Chris: Quite, indeed.

Arthur: Indeed indeed. All right, so I guess the first question is: if Sonichu were brought over here to Europe -- you know, Britain and all that, I guess if you want to be technical -- um, how do you think he would be best implemented? As a [[Sonichu the animated series cartoon, or maybe a comic?

Chris: I'm sure probably both.

Arthur: A cartoon and a comic, that's ambitious.

Chris: Eventually, uh, I would do the, the voice-acting of Sonichu and myself, personally.

Arthur: Now that is a question I do have to bring up. With the, um, with the change you've made in your life, going from "Chris" to "Christine," that is an interesting aspect based on the original comic pages. How do you plan on altering that, to fit into the storyline?

Chris: It's been, it's been implemented during the, uh, during the eleventh book here--

Arthur: Ah, it is.

Chris: It is, it is a bit of, I think I've mentioned it as a bit of a hint, of that, uh, amongst the recent pages I've uploaded, but if not there is something that will be hinted in the upcoming pages, of which I do have planned, which where everybody's gathered around the Christmas tree in the shopping mall.

Arthur: Yes, you've been bringing up that Christmas party on the last update of the comic, and let me tell you, I was absolutely surprised you had to stop right there. You could have just gone a little further.

Chris: Yeah, but, yeah, it just depends on my pace and my mood, and uh, all the other projects and everything that goes on in my life, it's just, it's really busy around here.

Arthur: Understandable, understandable.

Chris: ...I mean, I certainly do a lot around here, and uh, our funds are, most of our-- mostly fixed, yet uh, limited, and can be varying, but-- but for the most part we get by fairly well throughout the month.

Arthur: You're not hurting or anything, are you? I mean, you're not like, you're not stuck eating ramen noodles and uh, cups of water, are you?

Chris: No. We get-- no, we get by fairly well. We, uh, we try to eat very well and good.

Arthur: I myself had some eggies in a basket today and some toad-in-the-hole which were really good.

Chris: I, warmed up a batch-- warmed up a couple of eggs with spinach to make green eggs and ham.

Arthur: Really now? How did that turn out, was it good?

Chris: Yes.

Arthur: Hmm, I'll have to try that sometime.

Chris: I mean, look it up on the internet, you uh, you put, you, uh, put the eggs in the-- in there with the, with the pieces of the spinach leaves, and mix 'em together to put- pour it into the frying pan, and put in whatever else you kn-- you might like, some salt or cheese, and-- or maybe even put the-- put pieces of ham IN to the eggs, make yourself, uh, kind of an omelette there, as well. It'll work out pretty good.

Arthur: So you really are taking care of yourself physically. I've noticed in the last couple of videos that you've done, you've been looking a lot slimmer.

Chris: Thank you.

Arthur: It's nice to see you taking care of yourself.

Chris: Yes, I try to get out and about, uh, most days of the week, and get at least, uh, the thousand to ten thousand steps, if not greater.

Arthur: Ten thousand steps, that's impressive. ...Even I don't get that many, but I sit in front of a computer all day doing work, so I don't have that choice.

Chris: I'm sitting behind my-- I'm sitting behind my desk or, uh, sit-- or sitting with the dogs, and uh, giving them some time, but I try and make time for my family as well, during-- during each day.

Arthur: How has your mother been? If I'm not digging too deep; if that's going too far, just let me know.

Chris: My mother-- my mother is in quite good health. She is not, uhh, lazy or fat like a Snorlax, like, uh, some people would claim.

Arthur: I've-- I've seen the jokes, I find them in completely poor taste.

Chris: Yes, very poor taste. And quite most inaccurate.

Arthur: Now, one thing that does come to mind is that I know there are quite a few people out there who have besmirched your name; not only yours, but your creations as well. This "Asperchu," as he was called? Was completely asinine, if I remember correctly?

Chris: Yes.

Arthur: Now, this per-- now this person won't make an appearance if we try to bring this business deal to light, will he?

Chris: Mmph... Yeah, Asperchu is definitely not a canon character, except for, uh, in book ten, where, to-- tried to put a damper on the... parodies... of my character, which is considerable parody of the other two characters, of Sonic and Pikachu. Yeah, but essentially, that's where I tried to remedy and tried to make-- him-- make him to be better, as in, uh, were- among which, drawn to look better, definitely-- the way that guy drew his characters, and pages? It was just so blocky, and that's not really, quite all that befitting.

Arthur: Oh, understandable. I mean he's besmirching your name, he's stealing your copyright, of course it's not going to look as good as the original.

Part 2

Chris: But then also the way my hair turned out, after the semi-permanent hair color, kind of makes me look like Sailor Nep-- Neptune.

Arthur: Yes, I see the resemblance.

Chris: And I find that quite-- quite favorable, 'cause it's, in the anime she was an artiste as well, on the violin.

Arthur: I would suggest-- I would suggest, Christine, that if you really want to bring out that blue color, that you should pick a lighter color first and start with that, and then hit it with the blue, and it will come out extremely vibrant.

Chris: I'll keep that in mind.

Arthur: Like, go with a um, like a blonde or a platinum blonde, and THEN wait a few days to hit it with that blue? And it'll hit that battery blue color you're looking for perfectly.

Chris: Mmkay.

Arthur: Because it would really bring out the color in your eyes, you know?

Chris: Indeed.

Arthur: ...Okay, so we left off at Sonichu, if I remember correctly?

Chris: Oh, yeah, we were talking about, we were talking about the Asperchu part.

Arthur: That's right, we were talking about Asperchu. I noticed there's a few other things, like when you brought Simonla back from the dead. That was a very ballsy move, I have to say.

Chris: Yeah, I just don't care about the guy who created his Simonchu and claiming that Simonla was based off of that? That's not the case at all. I mean, even long before Simonchu ever came about from my viewpoint, I wanted to make a ground-type character, among which, and-- and uh, I wanted-- I definitely had in mind amongst which, uh, drill arms, and that sort of thing, but I just never really could figure out the, uh, shape and formula in my head. But then eventually I did see the Simonchu, and... and from, and from that, uh, I took a little out-- I took a little bit, here and there, and I made the Rosechu character. And, uh, I mean, Simonla is, was-- I got that name based off of the, uh, movie that's called "Simone"? Uhh, which uh, that was about a holographic, uh, woman, that was depicted as a famous singer.

Arthur: I see, I see, yes. Well you know, all that copyright infringement and stuff, everything, I don't think you'll have to worry about that. I mean, the person would have to come forward and complain about it, and what are the odds of that?

Chris: Yeah, quite. And plus, definitely stronger than his Simonchu with the simitanium bones and recovery aspect, similar to Wolverine.

Arthur: Actually, I looked up simitanium, and it's an actual thing.

Chris: Huh, it is. I thought I just made it up.

Arthur: No. It's actual-- I don't think it has much to do with what you're talking about, but it's actually an electronic thing with computers.

Chris: Huh. Well, chalk it up to coincidence, definitely, 'cause I never heard of that.

Arthur: No, no, completely coincidental. I mean, it seems to work; I mean, after all, it's basically given her Wolverine-like powers.

Chris: Uh, yes. And then the irony, com-- going to computers and electronics, she's a ground and electric type, it turns out to work out pretty good.

Arthur: Hm. Maybe you should point that out sometime, make it a part-- make it a part of the character.

Chris: I'll make a little joke out of that at one point, then.

Arthur: Yes, sounds like a good idea to me. So we were talking about Sonichu, and like I said, you won't have to worry-- hope too much about some of your, um, less than desirable people. I know that you went on a bit of a hiatus for a while; you came back, stronger than ever. I mean, I thought Sonichu was dead and gone forever, but then you came back with new comics, and new medallions and Amiibos, and I was blown away.

Chris: Yes. I never meant-- I w-- I was never meant-- I mean, Sonichu was not dead. I never meant for that to be uh, the outcome there. I fell into the hiatus because I felt overwhelmed with the stress, and uhh... shoot, what's the word there I'm trying to think of... Well anyway, I just-- I just felt overwhelmed from between the internet trolls laying me down, and I had to take my webpages down because of them hacking into it. And it just killed-- it just killed my inspiration for a while. And then eventually I realized that trolls are people, and I started find-- and especially after I identified myself as a female soul trapped in this male body, and a lesbian transwoman from that? I def-- I definitely was able to turn my self-esteem around from that, but uh, I still need improvements here and there.

Arthur: Oh no, you seem more confident than ever.

Chris: Yes.

Arthur: Honestly, you seem more confident than you did five years ago, and that's great.

Chris: Thank you.

Arthur: ...It's nice to see that you've finally came to terms with the fact that if you can't beat the trolls, you just ignore them.

Chris: Yes. And definitely to quote the WatchMojo dot com Top Ten Internet Trolls, it definitely puts in better perspective that they are still just people, don't know how better communicate in better words, or emotions. ...But yeah, nobody's perfect, anyway.

Arthur: Right. ...Okay, so so far we've covered Sonichu, we've covered, um, the people from your past that hopefully won't come forward trying to claim rights to Sonichu; we wouldn't want THAT issue when we're trying to set up our little endeavor.

Chris: Yes.

Arthur: Now the last thing we need to talk about is your input on this. Now, you said you wanted to voice Sonichu AND yourself in the show. That makes sense.

Chris: Yes.

Arthur: Are there any other characters-- Now, honestly, there are a few characters we simply cannot touch. Now I noticed you brought in Ren Skysoar to replace Doctor Robotnik. Now that's a good start, but I can tell you right now that my associates CANNOT get Sonic into that show easily.

Chris: Yeah. Although I tell you, um, definitely I was able to rectify the problem in book one, where Simonla disguised hers-- transformed, and made herself into Sonic, for that book, and then definitely later into Amy Rose just for the walk-in.

Arthur: Okay. So that will definitely cover those small bases. Because honestly, we can't touch characters like, you know, we can't touch Robotnik, we can't touch Aqua Teen Hunger Force, because that'll just create all kinds of issues with other companies, and they're gonna, they're all gonna want their piece of the pie. And let's face it, you don't want your piece to get any smaller.

Chris: Quite, mm. What makes you bring in the, uh, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, if I may ask?

Arthur: You remember, that scene when they're inside the, the restaurant, when Son-- uh, no, it's the mall, and Sonichu and Rosechu are eating at the restaurant, and you've got the little Meatwad thing on the table?

Chris: Oh, oh, oh yeah. Yes, just to make a little-- fun happy-- fun-- yeah. I do remember that part, yeah.

Arthur: You've got to be careful, because I can tell you right now, people on the internet'll notice the smallest things and point them out.

Chris: Yeah, but it's not pertinent to the story or whatever.

Arthur: It might not hurt anything.

Chris: It's not gonna be repeated.

Arthur: We'll-- Oh, I'm sorry, please continue.

Chris: It'll definitely be revealed in, uh, a later part that after I've made apparent in the Facebook post that Sonichu is allergic to pickles.

Arthur: Yes, I find that-- I've always found his allergy to pickles to be quite hilarious.

Chris: Yeah. And uh, kind of a spoiler, there will be a part in a future story where he-- where pretty much in a dream scenario, he has to swim in a river of essentially pickle brine juice.

Arthur: Oh no.

Chris: And he blows up during the swim.

Arthur: Really? So he's like, he's like deathly allergic to pickles?

Chris: Quite.

Arthur: He better hope he gets an endephrine shot after that.

Chris: Well he's quite, uh, he's quite strong, so he's able to survive it, and at the end of the river is uh, is a healing pond at which he recovers from the allergy fairly quick.

Arthur: Well I guess that will definitely take care of that problem.

Chris: Yep.

Arthur: Now are you going to be introducing any more new characters into the series? Because right now you've already got quite a collection of people already ready to go. But seeing as how previous villains in the series have either been arrested, or, or gone, or dead, or missing, I should say, are you introducing new villains into the series based on the current, you know, issues in your life?

Chris: I would say that's still yet to be determined. But at least I was-- at least I am definitely glad to give Count Graduon a past human form with which to lead into his spirit, and um, very small spoiler, among the uh, people he'll be bringing in uh, the bodies, he finds somebody that looks nearly exactly like he used to, and he brings in-- he becomes one of the Jerkops, so he brings him in and moves his soul from the Metal Sonichu into that body.

Arthur: Now I gotta tell you right now, I definitely want to see more Metal Sonichu.

Chris: Yeah, you'll definitely see Graduon's soul in Metal Sonichu's body, and uh, Skysoar will be employed under Graduon, and he'll make a few more of them.

Arthur: See, what you need in the series, I think to really push the bad guys now, instead of just having Jerkops, you need like, robotic Jerkops, like 2.0.

Chris: Uh, yeah, pretty much, uh...

Arthur: After all, when you have a hero like Sonichu... Sonichu is already pretty powerful, and all of his friends are pretty strong too. You need to start adding that concept of conflict by making the enemies tougher too.

Chris: ...Yes, that will be taken under consideration. I already have a few-- I already have a few ideas on my mind, among which. But that is definitely one I could definitely add into, uh, the uh, into the Jerkop and Janekops, there.

Arthur: Because--

Chris: Make 'em-- make 'em a bit cyborg.

Arthur: Yes, you know, it's like, uh, it's like Power Rangers, the original Power Rangers, with Zordon? When they had the Putties, and then they had the Lord Zedd Putties?

Chris: Yeah. ...Quite. But anyway, yes, I will take all that under great consideration.

Arthur: Just ideas to implement. You know, create-- because after all, if you're going to make a cartoon, you definitely want it to be action-packed for the kids.

Chris: Uh, yes, action-packed, but also would like to be able to, put a good lesson or positive story in, every now and then.

Arthur: Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Put a nice little bit of Column A, and a little bit of Column B, and that makes sure you've got a great show for kids.

Chris: Yes. I do agree.

Arthur: Because after all, your core demographic are the kids, you want them, 'cause they're the ones who are gonna get their kids-- their parents to buy them Sonichu action figures, and Sonichu video games.

Chris: Yep, definitely in there amongst my pipe dreams, there.

Arthur: Well, the great thing about a pipe dream is it's always there. So if you try hard enough, it might happen.

Chris: Yes. Thank you.

Arthur: We're slowly building the foundations, here. Right now, this is the foundation. I'm going to show this to my superiors, and we're gonna see where things go from there.

Chris: That sounds good.

Arthur: I will get back to you, and I will share their ideas with you, to see what the next step is.

Chris: All right. That's good. And uh, definitely be sure to, uh, when you, when you broadcast this interview, to talk about my CWCVille shopping store on Etsy.

Arthur: Absolutely.

Chris: And uh-- and I'm guessing that you do have to link to that, so copy and paste that to the storefront.

Arthur: Of course.

Chris: And, this-- this has been good.

Arthur: Yes, it's been a great conversation. Like I said before, it was a glorious opportunity to get this first opportunity to speak with you.

Chris: Yes, thank you.

Arthur: Of course. You're one of my-- I'm one of your biggest fans.

Chris: Thank you very much, I really do appreciate th-- your support, and everyone's sup-support, regardless of them being good or bad or trolls or bullies or indifferent.

Arthur: Well, you know what they say, Christine: all-- no publicity is bad publicity.

Chris: I have heard that, yes.

Arthur: So even if people, even if people are being jerks and making fun of you, they're still bringing attention to you, and bringing attention to you brings attention to Sonichu.

Chris: Yes. I have realized that.

Arthur: All right, Christine. I think we've covered enough on this first little meeting. I'll get back to you in a few days to see how things have turned out with my superiors.

Chris: Okay, thank you, Arthur.

Arthur: No problem, Christine, you have a nice evening.

Chris: Yes, you have a good evening, too. Y'all take care.

Arthur: Thank you.

Chris: Bye bye.

Arthur: Goodbye. Second Interview:

Interview #2

CatKnight Interview
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Stardate	26 January 2016
Featuring	Chris; CatKnight/Arthur Spatchcock
Audio Recordings
previous CatKnight Interview	next CatKnight Interview 3

Transcript

Arthur: Hello?

Chris: Hello?

Arthur: Ah, that's much better.

Chris: Yes. Okay, so, what do you want to talk about?

Arthur: Oh all kinds of things Christine, all kinds of things. I got a hold of my superiors and we sat down and we had a long meeting.

Chris: Mhmm.

Arthur: And we covered a lot of things, they listened to the conversation and they were impressed, implicably so even. But they do, have a few issues. And well I can't deny it the biggest thing working against you right now is the C-W-C-I-K-I.

Chris: I think you mean, yeah, you mean the CWCki, yeah.

Arthur: The CWCki, is that what it is? Okay, so the CWCki, yes. Now I told them that that website is in no way whatsoever affiliated with you professionally.

Chris: That's right.

Arthur: But even under that guise they still took the time to look through it themselves and they did come across a few things that they can't deny as fact. So, I told them that I would contact you and find out a few more details about a few particular aspects if you don't mind.

Chris: That's fine, fire away.

Arthur: Alright, the first one that comes up is your alleged court case involving GameStop.

Chris: Oh, yes that was uh, unfortunate. But, um, ah, that did happen but in my- but in my defense I was, very much, spooked and quite surp- and quite scared upon the event, and upon having encountered similar situations before, I had not been able to defend myself as bet- as best as I could. Um, but unfortunately yes that has happened, but the court case has cleared up and ah.

Arthur: Really? How did that turn out?

Chris: I, I went to each of my, went to each of the court trials as scheduled and everything and ah, you know and anyway, everything's all cleared up and I just have a few, just have a, the old court fines that I'm still paying off.

Arthur: The court fines? Though no sentences or anything? No incarceration?

Chris: Right, no sentences or incarceration.

Arthur: Okay okay, and how long were you arrested before you were released? That's just a small question.

Chris: Ah, yes, that was, you know I was arrested at the night of December 26th, 2014 and uh, I was put, I did not, I was not able to get back home until the following Monday

Arthur: Oh my!

Chris: So, yes so I spent a weekend hibernating in, jail.

Arthur: I hope they fed you well.

Chris: *Sigh,* Ah, yes.

Arthur: Teas and biscuit or ah, cheese burgers or pizza? I don't know, I've never been arrested.

Chris: Um, well actually it was more like, bit of, bit of meat, um, little bit of fruit, and some milk and juice, and water.

Arthur: Okay, alright, sounds about pretty common jailtime grub I guess.

Chris: Quite.

Arthur: Alright. So we covered the little bit of, the jail indecencies and all that stuff. Now they mentioned another thing, and this one really caught their attention, because this was the big court case. Michael. Snyder.

Chris: Ah yes, the previous, the owner of the, closed down Game and Hobby Place, ah.

Arthur: Oh it's closed down now?

Chris: Yes, it's been, yes it's been closed for about a year or two now.

Arthur: Is it? Ahh.

Chris: Yes, it's now been, it's now a, it's now a, ah store for chocolates...

Arthur: Really? Do you go there often?

Chris: Ahhh, no. But I've drove, no but I've driven by there so I have, so that's how I, that's how I know.

Arthur: Hey you should stop by sometime, take a look around the place, see what they've done with it

Chris: Yeah, I don't think it is, I don't think it's as good a justice as it used to be. But anyway, um, aside from that um, yeah, two, s, yeah, pretty much nearly true except for exaggerations and the obvious fantasies they have from but yeah, um, about April, Snyder had a ship, a chip on his shoulder against me so he banned me from there, and ah, then, then the couple of years later I came in there asking, I came in there and talked him and asked him to lift the ban and he said, and he was really cold-hearted and said no so then a couple of years later I tried again, still no, and then ah, shortly after my father's passing in 2011, ah, it takes a, my brain's a little slow you'll have to forgive me there

Arthur: It's no problem. Take your time.

Chris: Yes, anyway, am so after his death. Yeah my mother and I were out and we were driving by and we noticed a sign that said 'under new management,' so, so I took a guess that Snyder was out of the picture and then, my mom and I we both went in and he was there and he immediately called the police against us and my mother and I ended up having to spend a night in jail because of that, but yeah, after ah, the months with the uh, with the court trials and ah, ah shoot I'm trying to think of it, um. Uh, we were not, we were not sentenced to prison or anything bad like that, we had, we had to check in with ah, somebody every once about once a month or so, um, pretty much, uh, I, I have to plead closer to mind as far as the term that came up to my head. I would say, um some sort of parole but supervised, but then after that trial went about it became unsupervised so, and then we became free from that.

Arthur: Alright. Sounds good to me.

Chris: Yeah but it did kill us, pretty much nearly all remaining fund that Mr C my father, had left to us.

Arthur: Yes, God rest his soul.

Chris: Yes.

Arthur: Now we've covered that, the next question that came up was um... do you actually have a brother by the name of Cole Smithey, or is that just a horrible troll joke?

Chris: Oh no, it's true. My half-brother, Joseph Cole Smithey. My mother gave birth to him, um, yeah, has his own mental and physical traumas, um... He left uh, he left my, he left our mother and had a chip on his shoulder against her, uh, moved to New York, and became the mo-- became the movie critic with his own website, Cole Smithey dot com.

Arthur: Wait a minute, he's THE Cole Smithey, the movie critic?

Chris: Yes.

Arthur: Oh, he's quite well known over here, he's like a celebrity.

Chris: Yes, the world's smartest movie critic.

Arthur: Really? The smartest movie critic, that's an impressive title.

Chris: Well, well that's what it says on his website, anyway.

Arthur: Oh, I see.

Chris: ...Although at least, uh, even though, um, I might disagree with him on the review of Toy-- of the Toy Story 3 movie, but at least we agree on, uh, Inside Out.

Arthur: Yes, I've heard a lot of people disagree with his review of Toy Story 3.

Chris: ...Quite. Umm, I still have not seen Toy Story 3, but I've seen Toy Story 1 and some of number two. I-- it just never came about to my point of view yet.

Arthur: ...Now uh, one of the things that one of our interns who was checking the site for us came across was Sonichu the animated series.

Chris: Uh, yes, that had nothing to do with the online animations that have been currently released yet, and that have been currently released, except for the one that I approved of, of which, uh, was a fan animation, computer-generated, and Sonichu took down a robot on his way to rescue Rosechu that I end up, uh, with the per-- with the permission, uh, quoting and re-drawing, and re-wri-- re-writing a little bit, in my number nine book.

Arthur: Okay. We were concerned about that, we wanted to make sure that it was legitimate and NOT associated with you.

Chris: Y-- But yes, Sonichu: The Animated Series is not associated with me whatsoever.

Arthur: Okay. Uh, another aspect that came up -- and this one is the one that made them feel a little uncomfortable -- and that's your, how do I put this eloquently? Your extensive adult gallery?

Chris: Hmm. Yes, I have drawn a few pieces of, uh, se-- of sexual taste and whatnot, um, but mostly-- yeah, mostly in the nude with, uh, women and female characters, but I've mostly keep the-- uh-- I've, like, I-- was, I was, kinda like, just, I was kind of like, umm, yeah, I was just trying it out for a little while. And then also, umm, was the theoretical exes, a theoretical ex being, um, one of my past, uh, women friends that I've talked with over the internet but it turned out to be an-- an-- one of the internet trolls, cyber-bullies, and then, uh, and then-- and then that whole schlemie-- and then that whole schlemiel communication, uh, ended up being quote on quote 'exposed.'

Arthur: Oh, how horrible. Someone pretending to be a girl to get your affections?

Chris: Yes.

Arthur: How deplorable.

Chris: And-- yeah, and-- yes, and among which they did req-- they did request of me to draw the things that would go on between her and me, respectively. But that was so long ago and I just put all that behind me, the last time I ever really drawn anything of the... SEXUAL tendencies.

Arthur: Oh well like I said, we're just making sure we've got all of our bases covered before we make too many steps forward. We wouldn't want to accidentally get associated with something that might be construed inappropriate for children.

C: Quite. Quite. But of course the uh, big difference between-- uh, between any, anybody else's, uh, redrawing of my characters and whatnot is definitely the drawing-- hand-drawing style. I've never-- I've never drawn anything within my comic book pages on the computer except to, uhh, to make sort of a collage or to quote from past pages.

Arthur: Yes, I noticed that a lot of your art seems to be colored with markers; a very intriguing form of, uh, you know, coloring.

Chris: Yes, I like using the Crayola markers. The ones that come in the fifty-pack, and they're uh, thi-- and they're thin, with the little pointed tips. Th-- th-- it's easier to stay in the lines, definitely.

Arthur: You wouldn't want to go outside the lines.

Chris: Yeah. And then some of them even are-- are scented, so that's a little bit of fun as well, like I--

Arthur: Ooph!

Chris: --like, coloring with yellow, and you get lemon.

Arthur: Oh man, I think that would get like, crazy if you used all scented ones.

Chris: Yeah, but, it's-- it-- they're not all scented, it's just like, you know, with a select few out of the fifty.

Arthur: So are you saying that Sonichu is lemon-scented?

Chris: Ha ha! That would be fun, wouldn't it? But umm, uh, upon the original coloring, at some-- at some of the time, I would say so, but I would tend to say that the scent from the original ink has faded away by now.

Arthur: Do y-- uh, I do have another question. Now this is out of concern, but the associates and I came across that horrible little article about your house catching on fire.

Chris: Uh, yes, that was, uh, January of 2014. It was electrical, my mom and I and our dogs and one of our cats, we got out safe, and our insurance company helped us. Uh, we stayed in a hotel for about a month, and uh, we-- and we ended up moving into a temporary house for nearly the whole year, and we f-- and our house had finally been finished, reconstructed, uhh, about near the end of Decem-- about near the end of December, so we had gotten moved in just in the nick of time there, before the lease run-- ran out on the house we were temporarily residing in.

Arthur: That's good, that's good. Because uh, I noticed that people [tend to?] have a large collection of your property. It's kind of almost creepy. But uh, they uh, did you lose anything extremely important in that fire?

Chris: Uhh... yeah, among-- uh, yeah, we, we-- to my-- from my mother's perspective, uhh, she had lost and, uh, we ended up finding two of them. Uhh, she had lost a pair of shoes that she'd liked, but we ended up finding them, and she ended up losing her purse; we think, uhh, somebod-- the, the child from across the street living from us, came in and stole it, so... uh, but then we moved back-- but then upon moving back in, we found the purse, so it's like, re-- it was likely returned, but with some of the, uh, iden-- some of the, uh, money and whatever, was-- had, had been removed from it. And most importantly to my mother, we had a, uh, painting print copy, um, uh, expensive, one of the numbered editions of, umm... shoot... oh, S-Salvador Dali, the uh, one that, the one that's, tr-- that's a tree made of hands?

Arthur: Oh, it's a remake?

Chris: Uh... Well, it was... Yeah, yeah, I believe by uh, Dali himself, but it was one of the, uh...

Arthur: Because if you honestly had a Salvadari-- Dali picture, I wouldn't have wanted that sol-- uh, you know, lost. That's worth a lot of money.

Chris: Yes. But that was-- but that was lost, uh, we think somebody came in and stole it. Mostly the same kid that came in and stole my mother's purse, then returned it.

Arthur: Oh, quite a rapscallion.

Chris: But that's just spec-- that's speculation right there.

Arthur: All right, no proof, no, you know, no loss. So we've covered quite a few things that-- a lot of the things that the associates were concerned about. Uh, one last, little thing that came up, and um, honestly, I don't feel comfortable asking about this, but there was one name that popped up on that list quite a few times on that CWCki, as you called it -- uh, Miss Megan Schroeder?

Chris: Ah yes, uhh... when I was going to Pokemon League at the Game and Hobby Place, uh, she was, uh, she was, uh, crush of-- she was kind of a crush of mine, and I had wanted to start a relationship, but she felt-- she became uncomfortable with me being close to her, and uh, and then all of this and that, and then the day when Snyder banned me, she did not step up to... to aid me or anything, she just stood by-- she just stood back and watched, but anyway, um, a few minor, uh, heres and theres against her on my shoulder, but I have not sp-- spoken to her, or had not been able to speak with her very much at all since way back then.

Arthur: Yeah, and we noticed that there was a couple of recent videos in about the last year or so; you seemingly still holding a grudge against her. Was that just a minor thing, or...?

Chris: Uhh... I'd-- I'd say I've mostly for-- I've most-- I've mostly gotten over the grudges. But aside-- aside from that, I just say let her, wherever she is, live her life, and I'll just stay here, liv-- living mine. It's all done and over with.

Arthur: Good aspect on life to have.

Chris: Yes.

Arthur: ...Now, is there any chance that you can have the CWCki removed?

Chris: Umm... oh, X number of times back in about 2007, [?] when I first found the uh, pages and whatnot, um... Yeah, I've tried personally to take it down, but umm... Yeah, it's not w-- it's not very much within my powers, definitely dependent upon the troll webmaster of the actual website there.

Arthur: Oh, so somebody's forcing that to stay up?

Chris: Yeah, pretty much.

Arthur: How atrocious.

Chris: Quite.

Arthur: Have you tried pleading with them? You know, trying to take advantage of their, uhh, human kindness?

Chris: Umm... yes, I have tried, and of to no avail.

Arthur: No avail, that's a pity. Try as you might, seems you can't succeed on that front. Because we were hoping that if you could get the CWCki removed, that would definitely have a huge impact on this being able to take a, uh, leap forward, essentially.

Chris: Hmm.

Arthur: Because right--

Chris: Yeah, that's--

Arthur: Oh go ahead, please.

Chris: Actually, uhh, my-- my uh, my friend and associate, uh, who has been helping me, uh, with, more recently, um... yeah, she has a friend who... could, who could have-- who could hack into and take down the, uh...

Arthur: Oh my.

Chris: Take down the CWCki website?

Arthur: Well let's not delve too far into that, we don't want to get implicated with any information about that. You keep that your little secret, all right, Christine?

Chris: Yes. But anyway, um, aside from that, aside that-- if we can h-- if uh, we are able to hack into the Cwcki, umm, we would actually-- I would rather have it, um... sev-- I would rather have it severely edited and, uh, trimmed down to where it's more positive than negative against me.

Arthur: Really? So you wouldn't even want to take it down, you'd just want it more... towards the, uhh... positive approach?

Chris: Yes.

Arthur: After all, that would reflect your current lifestyle, in a way. You were more negative when you were younger, but now you're more positive.

Chris: Um... I uh, I was-- I would tend to say, um...

Arthur: I'm not going to lie, Christine. I've seen some of the videos you've made in the past, and you definitely had a little bit of an 'anger issue,' if you want to put it nicely.

Chris: Okay, okay, yes, then on that note, yeah, I was more negative in the past, but I've matured. For the better.

Arthur: Oh yes, definitely for the better. I'm impressed, extremely impressed.

Chris: Yes, thank you.

Arthur: ...I mean, if you keep u-- if you keep this up, I can only expect great things in your future.

Chris: Yes, thank you.

Arthur: All right, Christine. I believe that's covered all of the things I have on my little footnote here from my associates. I'm gonna have another meeting with them later this week, I will contact you, and hopefully this next call we have will be the last one we need to make.

Chris: Okay. Bye--

Arthur: Before we start moving things forward.

Chris: Yes. Thank you, Arthur.

Arthur: No problem, Christine. You have a nice day.

Chris: You have a good day too.

Arthur: Thank you.

Interview #3

CatKnight Interview
Click to load content
Stardate	2 February 2016
Featuring	Chris; CatKnight/Arthur Spatchcock
Audio Recordings
previous CatKnight Interview 2	next CatKnight Interview 4

Transcript

Arthur: Hello, Christine?
Chris: Yes, hello Arthur.
Arthur: Oh, how are you doing today?
Chris: I'm alright.
Arthur: Fantastic—
Chris: Al—alright—let's get down to the, uh, what are your new questions and inquiries?
Arthur: Well, yes, my associate has spent the last few days unfortunately looking over the C-W-C-I-K-I, what was it called again?
Chris: The CWCki.
Arthur: The CWCki. I see. Yes, they were overlooking it and they came across a few more slightly less than appropriate things and they really wanted to get some clarification about those.
Chris: Yes...
Arthur: I told them I'd contact you, and get the straight-and-narrow answers right from the horse's mouth.
Chris: Yes. Alright, well, fire away.
Arthur: Alright. Well, that's not all I have; I also have a few more Sonichu questions that are much more business-oriented, but let's get the horrible things out of the way first. How's that sound?
Chris: Yes, that sounds very good.
Arthur: Alright. Well, we're gonna start off right with the biggest issue, I think, it's—I'm going to call it the BlueSpike incident.
Chris: Oh yes, the, uh, that was the uh, one of my theoretical ex-girlfriends, who turned out to be a, y—who turned out to be a troll, turned out to be an immature boy, I have no idea whether he's alive or not, whatever, still. B—but anyways, aside from that, and I—so I ended up making a drive all the way from Cleveland, Ohio, and uh... then I ended up with a fi—I ended up going to the address that was provided there, and, uh, d—and the p—em, BlueSpike was not there at all, just an old woman and the house looked run-down, nearly run down as well.
Arthur: That's just horrible, why would someone do that?
Chris: [sigh] Well, they're either bored, jealous, immature, what have you, all the stereo—amongst the stereotypical reasons.
Arthur: I bet it was jealousy. Alright, now the next thing that falls into the same category is: did he actually have you—did y—I nee—I need to know if you faked this or not—did he actually have you insert broken pieces of your medallion into your rectum?
Chris: Uh, unfortunately, that... is true.
Arthur: That's just horrible. How could that happen? That's—I can't believe it. Oh my god.
Chris: Yeah, I believe a—I believe at that time my PlayStation Network account was being held hostage as well... if I remember correctly.
Arthur: Okay, okay, so he was holding your thing hostage, so you were just forced into a situation you didn't like. I could understand that.
Chris: Yeah, and then I—and then I—later on I finally realized that all the time I should have called Sony and actually had them, pa—re—patch up the password and that would have fixed it, I wouldn't have had to go through all that. So that's too—that's big lesson learned, and ingrained into my memory, against my will, pretty much.
Arthur: Yes, it sounds horrible, I can't believe it myself, but it hurts me to think that happened to you.
Chris: Yeah.
Arthur: But enough about that, um, okay, we covered that, I'm glad we got that out of the way first and foremost, the um, the next thing is, um, it's not so much important, but they wanted to make sure because of, y'know, animal rights activists and whatnot, um, when your house burned down, which by the way: I feel for you, it's a horrible thing to have happen to anybody—
Chris: Yeah.
Arthur: even though it wasn't the whole thing, thankfully, but still, um, there were rumors being passed around the CWCki, as you called it, that one of your pets died.
Chris: Uh, yes, one cat. His name was Scamper—the, uh, cleaners found his body behind the toilet upstairs and—died of smoke inh—inhalation.
Arthur: Oh, that's horrible. My—my heart goes out to you.
Chris: Well, anyway, anyway—we buried his body in the back yard, and uh, and had a moment of silence there and all that.
Arthur: It's a horrible way to lose a pet, but, you know, I understand that hopefully he didn't die painfully.
Chris: [sigh] Well, I wish I could have—wish I'd known that he was up there, I would've gotten him out when we were all getting out.
Arthur: Well, at least you're alive, and that's what matters.
Chris: Yes.
Arthur: Now that we've covered that, I mean, I mean, we don't want the animal rights activists to come running forward and think that you didn't care enough, you just let the pet die.
Chris: Oh, yeah, I did care, and for a while we thought that he had gotten out, but we were not totally positive, but then we finally came to closure after the cleaners found the body, so—[sigh] my other cat Lucy missed him very much, but su—and, uh, recently we adopted another male cat from the SPCA, eh...
Arthur: It's always nice to adopt rather than get a new kitten. It's always nice to adopt.
Chris: Yeah. And m—and I wanted to make sure it was an adult cat though, I didn't want to go for a kitten at the time, and it was male, so—eeyel, he and Lucy are getting along fairly well.
Arthur: Alright, now this is—this is a slight business question, but um, on the CWCki, it mentions something about you losing a job before, from terrifying a small child.
Chris: [sigh] No, no—uh, y—uh, that, yeah that was, uh, someon—that was nearly the beginning of the decade, uh, well, millennium. Uh, when I had—when I was working at Wendy's for the few months, I did not terrif—there was a child crying, because child was tired; I had nothing to do with making that child cry. Had nothing to do with it whatsoever, and when I—and I was just, happened to be at the same table, nearby, when—as it was happening, and I went by there, an—ano—I wa—I wanted to help them be on their way, so I got—so I offered to get them a lid for their baked potato they were having, and I got them a lid for their baked potato.
Arthur: So it—'cause it says on the CWCki, it had something to do with Donald Duck.
Chris: [using Donald Duck impersonation] I tried to—I tried to like, entertain the children with the Donald Duck voice. [quacking noises]
Chris: [normal voice] But yeah, that was not the case at that time.
Arthur: That was pretty good! I like that, that's nice. That completely caught me off guard. [stilted laugh]
Chris: Yes.
Arthur: That was funny.
[brief silence]
Arthur: So he nothing to do with that. But nice to know, I just—still, it's nice to see—your voice acting's pretty impressive, 'cause I was actually going to ask you, later on, that um, we'll save it for the end though. Let's wait 'til we get near that first.
Chris: I—I think you mean, if I'm to differentiate between my own voice and the voice of Sonichu, yeah, there will be a slight difference.
Arthur: Oh, don't worry; I—I have an idea at the end, that I'd just love for you to do, but we'll save it for the end when we get near that.
Chris: Alright.
Arthur:'Cause, after all, I wanna get these questions punched out, real quick-like, and then we can go on to a little business talk, and then I can share some more information with you.
Chris: [sigh]
Arthur: But first, next question: uh, this one is the last, uh this is the last one from the CWCki, and the rest of it's business-associated-wise, really. Um, this question is, it has something to do with your church. We don't want religious people coming after us thinking you're anti-Semitic, or you're atheist, or something like that.
Chris: I am none of those things.
Arthur: None of those things. So, it says on the CWCki you were kicked out of your previous church.
Chris: Um, yeah—that was—yeah, that was because the, uh, pa—because my past friend Joshua Martinez, uh, shi—uh, show, shared with the pastor of that church about, uh, my Faceb—about my My—not sure if it was my MySpace—yeah, I think it was my MySpace page that I used to have, um, yeah, I had, uh, there were a few images of, uh, women—of women on there, at the time, and, uh, he did not like that. And so he inform—he informed me that I was not welcome to his con—to his church there.
Arthur: Okay, okay. And—
Chris: Uh, so, it was just a—that was the only matter. It had nothing to do with Semitism or whatever, all of that. Nothing to do with any of that.
Arthur: And are you getting along with your current congregation?
Chris: Yes. I'm—and I'm still walking to the ch—to my current church, I just have not been there in a long time.
Arthur: Well, it's understandable, understandable, you don't make it every Sunday, after all.
Chris: Yeah.
Arthur: Okay, that's—that's like the last real, y'know, personal question in the sense of how deep you wanna go into the CWCki. Everything else is just based on everyday life. Like, for example, I have a few questions about Impulse. Impulse is a club, I believe?
Chris:Yes, it's a LGBTQ club in Charlottesville, Virginia, open on Fridays and Saturday—Friday and Saturday nights.
Arthur: And, do you go often?
Chris: Uh, I have not been in a while, but I did go there about near every—about near ev—near every Saturday night for a while, I was looking to meet more women.
Arthur: Ah, more women. It's a good place to go.
Chris: Yes. Yeah.
Arthur: So it's it's-
Chris: [interrupting Arthur] It was a good place.
Arthur: So, technically, going to Impulse is an impulse for you.
Chris: Ha! [pause] Tha- That- That's a fairly good play on words there. Um, not really but it's- I do- I realize I- I give it a try after I figure myself out, uh, the couple of- The few- The couple of years ago. That was uh, lesbian trasformate.
Arthur: Okay, okay, because I saw that and I don't think that's going to be a big deal with this show. After all there's all kinds of, there's all kinds of people involved with entertainment these days that our transsexual or lesbian or gay, doesn't matter anymore. That's not a big thing. People won't worry about that.
Chris: [interrupting Arthur] Right... Um yeah but I think uh I do understand that the uh general question um among which [pause] about the uh group, of women that usually went there... really big... and all that. Sorta like a name calling, but no, that was not the case, because uh, I did not know all their names... uh the manager had slipped- I taped a uh piece of paper onto the uh counter at the part... at the part side closet to the uh stage. Yeah. He called them the uh quote unquote, "Itty bitty titty per- parade". Sometin' like that.
Arthur: I think the terminology is "Itty Bitty Titty Committee".
Chris: Yeah, that was it. But anyway, um, yeah because I did not know their names, that was just, I mean I didn't- it- it came to my mind, so that's, was just a... offhand reference. Had nothin' to do with my opinions, or anything- or what- or anything that- it- I was just borrowing the term.
Arthur: Okay, alright, understandable. Hey, we all say dumb things.
Chris: Yeah.
Arthur: Okay! Last one, and then straight to Sonichu. It's gonna be perfect. Um, I noticed on the CWCki, it mentions that every once in a while, you get... gifts? And donations? From people, sometimes surprising, sometimes anticipated?
Chris: Yes. Yes.
Arthur: Wh-what kind of things do you get? I mean exactly, I mean I hope you're not getting, like, shoe boxes full of cat poop, or... You know...
Chris: Uhh, no no no, um, so that does not happen, very often... Uh, only once... time, only one time, though, somebody had sent me a Tupperware full of... Horse manure... And we put that- and we put that in the-
Arthur: [stifled laughter, breaking character] I'm sorry, no, you gotta be kiddin'- [in character] no. That's just wrong.
Chris: Yeah. That- th- anyway w- we put that in the trash immediately after we figured that-
Arthur: I would hope so!
(pause)
Chris: Yeah.
(pause)
Arthur: Okay, so- like- but- like- d'you get money or is it like, um, like useful household items like soap or toilet paper, things like that?
Chris: Um, yeah, they ha- ye- ma- ye- yeah especially after the, uh, fire, we have received a few helpful... Items... In- in th- in the mail. Uhh, we have received m- we have received s- some monetary donations around Christmas time, like, um... One or two actual, functional, gift cards to be redeemed, but uh- but somebody, uhh, one or two sent me EMPTY gift cards, as a... Joke.
Arthur: (uncaringly) Now that's just mean...
Chris: Yeah but it's like, uh, y'know, I don't ha- I don't have to actually go out, uh, and be like "Oh I'm going to use the gift card! I don't know whether it's blank or not!" No, I verify them through the, uh, 800 number, that the web address lists on there.
Arthur: Oh, that's clever.
Chris: Yeah... I mean it- it bothers me that- it bothers me only a little bit, it ticks me off only minorly, but I've pretty much gotten used to that, along with the other... prank... bad... thing... uh... gifts, or... le- or hate mail, as to put it. And I just know to, just overlook this- just overlook that, and be like... Heck with it.
Arthur: Well heck I'd always look inside all of 'em, just to make sure there's not a card inside, or something.
Chris: Yeah.
Arthur: So, okay! I think that covers all of the immmm- little tiny inconsequential questions, now it's time for some straight up business talk. And we're gonna start right off great, you're gonna love this.
Chris: Alright.
Arthur: Ummm... There's talk about a game, but I can't go too far into it yet, but umm... If there was a game, how would you like it to be? Would it be an adventure game, would it be a platforming game, an RPG, a puzzle game?
Chris: Uhhhhh... I think it'd be, I think it'd be uhh... mix of which but I think it would mostly be traditional platforming.
Arthur: Mmm-kay.
Chris: And uh with uh and uh with uh [pause] Uh I'd say inspired by the uh by the past Sonic the Hedgehog games but um... not- not totally. Be more... more among what I- what I figure ya know? I- I mean only inspired by but not totally copying. I mean, it's not like Sonic could naturally shoot lightning bolts at enemies.
Arthur: No, no. Of course not, of course not. And if um, if this did happen, would the game follow the Sonichu story, like in the comics, like would you just recycle existing storylines or would you create a brand new storyline just for the game?
Chris:: Uh, yeah--
Arthur:: --a brand new storyline just for the game?
Chris:: Yeah, I would definitely see-- I would say initially, among which, yes, based on what I've done so far, and then also introducing new elements, and [parts?].
Arthur:: Okay, okay. All right, so um, another question is: some of my associates have actually seen your videos with the Amiibos and stuff, and um, they noticed you have a LOT of them. Are you, are you constantly making them, or do you just, like, move the same ones around a lot?
Chris:: Um, I mean, umm... it's not like to... make 'em all the time and then have 'em ready for distribution at once. Uh, no, it's that, what [sounds?]-- that would be like, totally kind of a waste, there, and then I'd just have rooms full of figures that nobody had purchased. Yeah, no, I make--
Arthur:: So you just--
Chris:: Yeah, no, I do--
Arthur:: You just make them to order?
Chris:: Yeah, I do it as they-- as they come in, yeah.
Arthur:: Okay, okay. Makes sense, much more practical.
Chris:: Especially-- especially on the uncommon material figures for the-- what I would use for the chip and the base.
Arthur:: So, uh... how much do you usually make from your Am-- figurines and medallions? Ballparking, for business.
Chris:: Uhh, I'd say about, um... I'd, I estimate around... I'd say about around... ten dollars profit, but that's my est-- that's just a guess off the top of my head, I've never really thought about it totally, but...
Arthur:: Well I mean if-- I mean like in a total, like a, like a single sum number; like, if you took all your figures, all the Amiibos, all the medallions, all the comics you sold, how much do you think you've made in total?
Chris:: Uhh, but yeah, uh, initially, it did come up to like, uhh, over a th-- over a thousand doll-- over a thousand dollars when I started making the Sonichu figures on-- and selling them on Ebay.
Arthur:: Okay, okay, so we're on a thousand dollars. All right. Um, if we were to BUY the Sonichu name off of you? Like the rights? How much would that be worth to you?
Chris:: ...Uh, I would have to totally be involved with every project...
Arthur:: Oh no no, I understand that, I'm just saying, like, in the sense of if you were going to sell the rights, but you could still be involved, like Stephen King.
Chris:: Right. Umm... I'm not sure, umm... I'm gonna-- I'm gonna estimate over a million.
Arthur:: Over a million. So just like a straight million, 1.5, two mil?
Chris:: Yeah.
Arthur:: Okay. So, yeah, that's okay. Small number, most people go for fifteen mil, easy, right off the top.
Chris:: Hmm. All right, well...
Arthur:: It's too late, you already said a million.
Chris:: I don't, I don't-- I don't know everything, and, uh, still...
Arthur:: I'm just-- I'm just messing with you, Chris, don't worry. Hahaha! That kind of stuff will come together in a congre-- will come together in a meeting, and there'll be a contract, and there'll be a lawyer involved, we wouldn't just throw it out there and then just like, give you one choice.
Chris:: Right.
Arthur:: It'd be a lot of negotiation crap. All kinds of 'bleugh' stuff, nothing important, really. Um, now, here's an-- here's one question, and it's a little bit about your mother, Barbara. Um... I know she's getting on in years, and I'm not trying to say, you know, anything bad, but um--
Chris:: Right.
Arthur:: If this goes through, um, and you move-- and you end up moving to London, umm--
Chris:: [stress sigh]
Arthur:: Are you going-- are you going to be able to live by yourself, if your mother passes?
Chris:: I would have-- I would definitely need a lotta, lotta money in order for that to make me feel more secure, and I definitely would want my s-- my future, my sweetheart future wife...
Arthur:: Ohh.
Chris:: Uh, that's secure. I'd want everyth-- I would feel a lot, lot better if everything was secure, but initially, I don't feel like I could do fair-- I don't think I could do fairly well, initially, financially, and uhh, much else, mentally, emotionally, by myself.
Arthur:: Yes, you said 'sweetheart,' you have a girlfriend?
Chris:: Yea-- no, I still don't have one yet.
Arthur:: Oh, ah. I apologize, I don't mean to pry.
Chris:: Right.
Arthur:: But other than that, um... So, you'd be able to do something, but at only under the, uh, the aspect--
Chris:: Yeah, after--
Arthur:: --of having financial security?
Chris:: Yeah, after I've, uh, after I feel much-- after I've gotten-- after I find, and-- after I feel more emotionally, financially, secure and everything.
Arthur:: Okay, okay. All right. And uh, I remember earlier you said something about the, uh, the-- uh, [?], the videos? I mean, I haven't made videos out of this, I just save them as, uh, audio files.
Chris:: Oh yeah, uhh, yeah, [I asked you if I?], yeah--
Arthur:: If you want copies, I can get you copies, no problem. I'll just send them to you. But all I do is I share them with my, uh, associates. I just play them at the meetings we have.
Chris:: Quite. Uh, but, I mean, yeah, I just-- I would put that on my Facebook to-- so that, so that everybody would be sure to hear the, uh, intervie-- hear the interview and all that. Get the straight-up stories, and...
Arthur:: Of course, of course.
Chris:: All the good stuff.
Arthur:: Now I said I had an idea for you at the end of this, and I think it'd be perfect. It's a little two-in-one deal, that I think my associates would absolutely fucking love.
Chris:: Hmm.
Arthur:: Let's take your two Amiibos, one for Sonichu and one for Christine, and uh, we'll get the camera on them, and you can show off your merchandise AND show off a little bit of your voice-acting at the same time.
Chris:: Oh. Okay, well I mean the difference to being this and the, uh, pitch, uh, Sonichu would be a higher pitch. Compared to me.
Arthur:: Okay. Well, they just want-- they just want a really short thing. Like, just like, I don't know, just a little bit of pantomime with the two characters.
Chris:: Hm.
Arthur:: Just make them have a conversation with each other for like, a minute? Maybe even thirty seconds.
Chris:: Yeah, all right, well I will think about that. Take it under great consideration.
Arthur:: Of course, of course. You're not being forced to do anything, but it'd really push the thing. Now before I go -- as I said, I've covered everything we need to cover in this meeting -- there are a few other projects that are being thrown on the table. After all, this is a-- this is an animation company, then we've got shows coming in all the time. We've got, we've got another show that involves an actual hedgehog character, and I've got somebody competing with me to get this show made...
Chris:: [vague stress noises]
Arthur:: It's been in works for years, and he's tried to-- he's been promoting it like crazy himself. I've got another guy who's trying to get some 'Generation Z' show going; he's some celebrity named Hayden Black, he sounds like a fucking idiot, I don't know who he is, but he's got his show, and I'm trying to get yours on top of the heap.
Chris:: All right. Uhh, but yeah, you can send me the-- you can tell me if-- you can type it all out and send it to me in an email. I'll be able to understand it completely better then.
Arthur:: Okay. But other than that, I think we've covered everything, Chris. This covers EVERYTHING. Next time I call you, I will have an answer for you about where things are going to go.
Chris:: ...All right, good. I will, thank-- thank you for the uhh, interviews, and uh, I'll talk to you next time.
Arthur:: Of course, Chris...tine, take care.
Chris:: All right, take care, bye bye.
Arthur:: Bye. The fourth interview:

Interview #4

CatKnight Interview
Click to load content
Stardate	3 March 2016
Featuring	Chris; CatKnight/Arthur Spatchcock
Audio Recordings
previous CatKnight Interview 3	next CatKnight Interview 5

Transcript

Chris: Hello?

Arthur: Yes, hello Christine.

Chris: Yes, hello, Arthur.

Arthur: It's nice--

Chris: How are you?

Arthur: --to speak to you again, it's been quite some time.

Chris: Yes, I've been quite... busy, and uh, backed up with a whole bunch of, uh, this and thats, you know.

Arthur: [murmurs something]

Chris: So anyway, yeah. How are you?

Arthur: I'm just dandy. How about yourself?

Chris: Yeah, I'm fair to okay.

Arthur: Fair to okay. All right, um, well I mean it's been so long I want to catch up a little bit; like, you know, how's everything over in America with your politics?

Chris: Uh, I don't-- I don't-- know much about-- I don't know much about politics, but I know wh-- I know what I like. And I definitely had taken it under consideration the qualities of Obama before I voted for him and comparing him to McCain, in 2008. Ha ha.

Arthur: Right now, Donald Trump's making quite an ass of himself, isn't he?

Chris: Yes, I don't care much for him. [unintelligible blustering] --Ah, which is among the reasons I'm definitely voting for Hillary Clinton if I get the chan-- if I get to in November.

Arthur: Oh, you like her platform?

Chris: Uhh, well actually more like, uhh, I feel like this w-- country is long overdue for a woman's touch.

Arthur: That's it?

Chris: Among which, and definitely I would not put Trump in. I'd rather send him to the dump. Send Trump to the dump.

Arthur: You know, that's an eloquent, you know, campaign title right there. I like that.

Chris: Huh.

Arthur: 'Trump to the dump!'

Chris: That's funny. ...Yeah. So anyway, umm, okay, so let's get this over with, what do we need to, uh, what do you need to know for the final part of this?

Arthur: Well, to be perfectly honest, we were ready to set up a contract about a few weeks ago, but I couldn't get ahold of you.

Chris: Oh... right. I forgot about that, I mean, I've been... And plus, uh, also, I'm talk-- I'm talking with my associates, you know.

Arthur: I understand.

Chris: Uh, but anyway, so, yeah. Umm... all right, well yeah, let's talk about that.

Arthur: Well, we uh, we were setting up the contract. Um, it was going to be like a five million dollar sign-on contract and everything, it was gonna be a big deal, but when I couldn't get ahold of you, they thought that you simply lost interest. And I told them you hadn't, but for the--

Chris: Yeah, I had not lost interest. But really, to-- I would-- I would feel better setting up, uh, such a deal, um, yeah, through my associates as well, I mean... yeah. You have, uhh, her email address?

Arthur: Yes, yes. But um, anyway, so it got kind of pushed on to the back burner -- it's not dead yet, but--

Chris: All right.

Arthur: --I have to put a little more emphasis in getting it restarted again.

Chris: Okay. All right, well--

Arthur: But don't worry about that. I'm not going to give up on you, Chris. I want to see this happen.

Chris: Okay, that's good.

Arthur: But one of the things I have to say is when someone looked up Sonichu, to help set up the contract? Something caught her attention.

Chris: What's up?

Arthur: Apparently, nobody, at this moment, actually owns the legal rights to Sonichu.

Chris: Mm.

Arthur: Apparently--

Chris: The what rights?

Arthur: App-- apparently, the last time that a patent was put out on Sonichu, it wasn't put down as a product, so much as an associate.

Chris: Hm. Well, I don't know the diff-- I don't know the total difference. But, I mean, I do have-- I did, uh, make the, uh, copyright into the DC Library of Congress a few years ago, and uh, my associates are helping me, uhh, recap-- recapituate and get all-- get all that back up to date, among which. Umm, yes.

Arthur: Okay, you definitely want to do that, because you wouldn't want somebody to steal that.

Chris: All right. Yeah, and this, uhh, call, we do not want this call that we're talking about right now to be put on to the internet at all. 'Cause we're talking business here and I don't wanna have anything overheard by, um-- by-- you know, the wrong people.

Arthur: Oh, absolutely. Absolutely, I understand. But other than that, you'll find this funny: the other day, I was-- because I'm a big Sonic and Sonichu fan, I was--

Chris: All right.

Arthur: --checking out the Sonic, the actual S-- well, actually the Sega Twitter, is it Sega or Sonic? I can't tell, really, who's more on top--

Chris: Uhh, I believe you-- you're thinking about the Sonic the Hedgehog Twitter? Uhh, I-- perhaps you're referencing, uhh, the subscription to the Big the Cat--

Arthur: Yes!

Chris: [?] channel...

Arthur: I noticed--

Chris: ...or Robotnik. Yeah.

Arthur: --they mentioned Sonichu.

Chris: Yes. Umm, yes, my associate had turned me onto it. You know it's, uhh, for the purposes I'm just, uhh, not saying her name for in case anybody overhears.

Arthur: Absolutely.

Chris: Anyway, you know-- but you know who I'm talking about.

Arthur: Mm, mm, yes.

Chris: But right, I have, uh, seen that.

Arthur: Yes, and they actually straight mentioned Sonichu. And you know what that means, right, Chris?

Chris: Umm... I actually came up with, uh, two interpretations from that. Uh, one of which, umm... yeah, still ta-- the-- they're talking about Sonichu for uh, the uh, bigger part, but then also, it's being talked about like as if it's a reference as being a favourite of Big the Cat, and he's not one of the most liked characters in the original franchise, there.

Arthur: True, true. But the fact that a official Sonic character is mentioning Sonichu, means that--

Chris: Right...

Arthur: --they still consider him a canon character.

Chris: Oh. Okay, well I had not thought of that.

Arthur: Yes.

Chris: It is interesting.

Arthur: Well, 'cause, you know, for all we know, Sega might be thinking of something behind the scenes that even we haven't heard of.

Chris: Hm. Well, I'll definitely, uhh... Well, yeah, my associate has, uh, mentioned it, I-- much, I, uhh-- me-- I send a message to Sega, letting them know that I know about that.

Arthur: Mm-hm. Definitely, definitely.

Chris: That I've heard about that. So-- and, well, see what-- and see where that goes. Umm, all right, but you encouraged me a little bit more to do that.

Arthur: Oh, de-- you definitely should.

Chris: Okay.

Arthur: 'Cause I mean, hey, I mean, if they're mentioning the character themselves on an official Twitter, that's a big deal.

Chris: Yes. Yes it is.

Arthur: Now uh, something else, umm, you know, your associate and I, we were talking and they mentioned something just the other day -- you finally got your PS4 you've been after. Congratulations!

Chris: Yes, thank you. Uhh, shoot. Uh, her name escapes me at the moment, but yeah, I wrote it down, yeah: Kagney Lynn Moore, Seattle, Washington. Uh, yeah, she sent that to me.

Arthur: Oh, she gifted it to you?

Chris: Yes.

Arthur: Ah.

Chris: And I gave-- and I sent her the uh, voucher to the, uh, Cwcville Shop.

Arthur: Really, really.

Chris: And uh, she redeemed it really quick, just as I described on the, uh, video I-- the first streaming I made through the PS4.

Arthur: That--

Chris: Yeah.

Arthur: --is nice.

Chris: Of which I'm st-- of which I'm still learning about that, um. Umm, I'm thinking about, uh, what I'd like to try if I can figure out how, is to, uhh, yeah, definitely for the planned autism tutorial commentary video that I'm fun-- that I'm-- that's in-- that's in my head, and of which I have to do some updating on the, uh, vide-- on the, uh, animation levels, there, uploaded [where?] streaming for viewing through the PS4 version of Little Big Planet 3, 'cause right now, uhh, I view them through the PS4, on the, uhh-- uploaded, on the server. I come up-- I come up shirtless.

Arthur: Really.

Chris: It's like my ch-- my character's not wearing a shirt on there. I was like, 'What the heck's up with that?'

Arthur: [interrupts briefly]

Chris: So I'm going to have to figure-- so I'm going to have to--

Arthur: Sorry.

Chris: --figure that out.

Arthur: I was going to ask, have you considered starting a Let's Play channel?

Chris: Umm... Let's Play, what does that-- umm, what does that mean?

Arthur: Well, Let's Play is a popular YouTube group of people -- not really like an, an association or group, literally, but what you do is you record yourself playing games and then you upload them, online.

Chris: Oh.

Arthur: 'Cause if-- it's really easy to do on PS4. I have a PS4, and I could teach you--

Chris: Oh.

Arthur: --how to do it.

Chris: Okay, well, uhh, what's your username, you can send me a friend request, and I'll definitely accept it.

Arthur: Oh yes, I'll send it to you at-- at the end of this call, 'cause actually, I was going to-- I had an idea.

Chris: What's up?

Arthur: Well, if you start a Let's Play channel, you can put ads on it and create a small amount of ad revenue.

Chris: Yes. I have already, uhh, set up an account with AdSense, and I've s-- I've opted in and said [?] among the, uh, videos, so I've gotten that started.

Arthur: Well, if I'm going to join you on a PlayStation 4, we should play a game together.

Chris: All right, umm... what's your favourite PS4 game?

Arthur: Well, I have a lot of games, and unfortunately, a lot of my favourite ones simply aren't multiplayer. However, I do know one game on the PlayStation 4 marketplace that is a game we can play against each other.

Chris: Hmm. I w-- uh, off the top of my head, I could definitely say Little Big Planet 3 and any of the, uh, co-op play levels uploaded or on the, uh, game disc, but you tell me what you have in mind.

Arthur: Well, I know for a fact that on the marketplace, there's a Yu-Gi-Oh game.

Chris: Oh. Okay, Yu-Gi-Oh. Yeah, I have played that card game before, quite a bit. I still have my old deck that I used, off and on, it's Spellcaster themed. I definitely have Dark Magician and Dark Magician Girl in there.

Arthur: Oh nice, nice. Well yes, um, I was thinking that... I know you're probably a little strapped for cash right now, so how about as a belated birthday present, I send you a little game code, and you can pick up the game off the marketplace?

Chris: Umm... okay, well make sure that I can actually redeem that code in the Unite-- on the United States store front--

Arthur: Oh, I don't think it--

Chris: --versus, uh, versus the one that's-- that's on the, uh, where you are, in England.

Arthur: Oh, don't worry. I will go to Amazon and do it there, and that-- and then it won't be a problem.

Chris: Okay. Mm.

Arthur: You give me just a tick, and I'll set it up right now.

Chris: All right. Mm. Well I'm gonna [link?] it up while I'm thinking about it. I've already linked up my Vita so I can do remote play and all that, so...

Arthur: Oh, that's nice.

Chris: It's like I don't have-- I don't have to interrupt my [?] to turn that on. It's about as amazing-- it's quite as amazing as the Wii U, definitely.

[muffled background noise from TV]

Arthur: ...What are you watching, there?

Chris: ...What's that?

Arthur: What are you watching, there? I can hear something in the background.

Chris: Oh yeah, I'm watching Seinfeld on CBS.

Arthur: Oh. Yes, I heard something strange vibrating earlier, I wondered what it was.

Chris: ...Uhh... vibrating. Um, yeah, I'm sure that's probably what was coming from the TV show. Oh yeah, Yu-Gi-Oh Legacy of the Duelist? Is that the one you're talking about?

Arthur: Yes.

Chris: All right, I'm just looking up to see if there's the uh, add-on DLC here.

Arthur: I think there's a lot of add-on DLC.

Chris: Hm. I'm counting it, it's like one, two, three, four, five, six, seven... eight. All five dollars apiece here. I'll definitely look into that.

Arthur: Well, right there, Christine, I just sent it to you.

Chris: Hmm, what, via email? Or to my...

Arthur: No, right there in the chat. The little window right now? The one we're in? Go down to the--

Chris: Oh.

Arthur: --little word balloon in the corner?

Chris: Mm, where-- mm, oh. All right. Oh...

Arthur: The digit code should be right there, you should try it right now.

Chris: All right. I gotta get back to the front.

[silence for some time apart from the TV noise; Chris murmurs letters and numbers from the code]

Chris: Mm. Well, twenty dollar-- that was a twenty dollar code, yep, I got it.

Arthur: Yep, it should be just enough for the game.

Chris: Yes, it is nineteen ninety-nine here.

Arthur: Perfect.

Chris: I'll purchase it right now.

Arthur: All right. Takes some time to get used to it, I'll have to pick it up myself now, but I was thinking about you when I looked at it.

Chris: All right, that's good. Thank you.

Arthur: Yes, I was thinking take some time to get used to it, and then maybe we could have a little competition.

Chris: All right.

Arthur: We could li-- you could livecast it from your console, or I could livecast it, whichever-- if you want to do it for your channel, you'll have to livecast it, and don't worry, it's super easy setting it up on PS4.

Chris: Yes, it is.

Arthur: And then we could have a nice little competition, your friends could watch a video of you playing against somebody else online.

Chris: All right.

Arthur: See if you're still as good as you used to be.

Chris: Mm. Used to be. I pretty much, uhh, good mindset and memory of how the game's played.

Arthur: Oh, I'll have to definitely--

Chris: I'll try to put together a deck with the digital cards similar to what I have in the old original deck. And I still have that for reference.

Arthur: Well then, I think umm, I think we'll have to come up with a little wager when that time comes around.

Chris: Ehh, we'll see.

Arthur: Oh, nothing bad. Maybe something along the lines of if I win, uh, two out of three, you make some new Sonichu Christmas Special pages. But if you win--

Chris: Uh, I was gonna-- I was gonna do that anyway--

Arthur: Oh.

Chris: --I just had not gotten around to it, I've been so busy with the, uh, orders from my shop and everything.

Arthur: Well, I mean, if you won, I'd buy you a PlayStation 4 game or something.

Chris: All right. And then I guess I'd buy you one, if, uh...?

Arthur: Oh no, no, no. All I would want would be more Sonichu pages.

Chris: All right, well, definitely in the-- in my mind, and all in the works, and everything, believe me.

Arthur: Go ahead. Get that game, give it a shot, I'll have to pick it up myself to play it as well; but once we get that set up, we should definitely look into a Let's Play together. Just to have fun.

Chris: That sounds good.

Arthur: Well, Christine, I think we've covered everything today, and like I said, check up on that legality stuff. I'm gonna get back with my people and let them know that you're still very interested in this.

Chris: Yes.

Arthur: But keep your ear to the phone, because if I'm looking for you, I need to find you as soon as possible.

Chris: All right, well definitely, uh, relay the, uh, details to my associates as well, please.

Arthur: Absolutely, Christine. Now you take care and you have fun.

Chris: All right, yeah-- yeah, you take care and have-- and have fun and have a good day, too.

Arthur: Yes, happy--

Chris: Don't forget to send me your friend request.

Arthur: Yes-- oh, that's right, I'm gonna send you that here right now, I'm gonna give you my name. Now, don't be, um, misled: I set myself up for a US account simply because then it looks like I'm on time with the US people.

Chris: Quite.

Arthur: A lot of people don't-- a lot of people over here don't play on PlayStation or Xbox people.

Chris: Hm.

Arthur: But that's my name, and I will, uh, you send me a friend request as soon as possible.

Chris: Uhh, wait a minute, I'm sorry, uh... I-- I thought you were in the-- in the midst-- I thought you were telling me [about your?] details. What was your name?

Arthur: Oh, it's right there, in the little... that little window, where I sent you the code.

Chris: Oh, oh, Blue Walrus. Okay. ...Well, I'll definitely keep my eyes open for that.

Arthur: All right, yes. Just send me a friend request whenever you have time. But other than that, Christine, you have yourself a happy belated birthday, and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

Chris: Okay, good, you take care.

Arthur: Thank you. You take care as well.

Chris: All right.

Arthur: Goodbye.

Chris: Okay, bye bye.

Interview #5

(The interview was deleted off of SoundCloud [1], and appears to be lost. Only the transcript remains.)

Transcript

Chris: Hello Arthur, how are you?

Arthur: I'm doing just fine, how about yourself?

Chris: I'm all right.

Arthur: How was your dinner?

Chris: I wanted to do a video call, so I could see your face.

Arthur: Oh, well, I have to go out and buy a camera.

Chris: Okay, so you didn't have one.

Arthur: I apologise.

Chris: Well that's... that's all right. So, uh, yeah, how are you?

Arthur: Well, just dandy, except for a few small things, but we can talk about that in a minute. Um, uh... Well, like I said, I was putting a lot of work forward towards your contract -- a lot of it. To be quite frank, I uh, called in a few favours, and uh, even then, that was still pushing the limit. And at the end, after all that work, I basically told them if they don't give you the contract, I'm going to walk. And they declined the contract.

Chris: Hm. Declined the contract.

Arthur: Yes.

Chris: What, what you mean that they would have to physically send it to me, do you mean?

Arthur: No. To put it bluntly, because they didn't want to make the contract with you? I lost my job.

Chris: Oh. I'm sorry.

Arthur: It's okay, Christine. I'm the one that put my job on the line to see this happen, not you.

Chris: Uhh, well I don't know, uhh, if there's anything I or my associates could do for you...

Arthur: Uh, you're a little close to your camera, it's creating a bit of digital feed. You might want to just lean back a little.

Chris: Oh.

Arthur: Ah, that's better, that's better. That's a nice dress you're wearing.

Chris: Thank you.

Arthur: Of course. That's pastel-- is it floral design? It's a little hard to tell.

Chris: Yeah, there's flowers.

Arthur: Oh, it's nice. Well, I know I can't do anything for your contract now, and I lost my job trying to make it happen, but I still want to do something to make sure this happens. Or at the very least, to do something to help Sonichu.

Chris: Yes. Well, fortunately, uh, you know, my associates, they have a lot of business-savvy knowledge, as well, so-- uh, definitely a lot more than I do, so I'm sure they can help figu-- help you figure out something.

Arthur: Well, I have--

Chris: It's a meeting of the minds, essentially.

Arthur: Of course, meeting of the minds. I did have a few ideas, however, that some things that could help you financially right now. I understand that, you know, with the contract not going through, you might still want to make some money on the side, and I had a few ideas. Clearly, we've already covered the Let's Play idea; I've seen you do some videos.

Chris: Yeah, [f?]-- yeah, I managed to start with some livestreaming, and uh, definitely did the commentary for the old an-- autism tutorial animation.

Arthur: I-- I-- I actually watched some of your Destiny playthrough. It was very nice, but unfortunately you didn't have the sound going.

Chris: Yeah, the mic-- yeah, my keyboard-- my k-keypad plugged into the, uh, controller, and uh, that screwed up, uh, which one was the microphone.

Arthur: Just a little technical error.

Chris: So, essentially, I d-- I'm pretty much just gonna leave that unplugged, not doing livestreaming.

Arthur: Well, as before, I would love in any way whatsoever to help you play any games, especially anything with a multiplayer aspect. I know you're a fan of Minecraft, correct?

Chris: Mm. Yeah, it's all right.

Arthur: Well, if you ever want to--

Chris: I haven't played it in a while, but, it's okay.

Arthur: If you ever wanna make a Cwcville level or something, I'd be willing to help on that.

Chris: Mmph. Well yes, actually I had stored something on my lap-- on the laptop version of Minecraft. And uh, even though I just-- even though I had recently purchased and, uh, downloaded the console versions among my PlayStation consoles. Mm.

Arthur: Yes.

Chris: Yeah, and pretty much I had, uhh... I had to end the s-- I had to end up ending the subscription, the online subscription. My uh, my uh, gal pal... was uh, helping me w-- was helping me with that as well.

Arthur: Oh. Well, the PS4 one, you just have to buy it, and then you can play it as much as you want without a monthly subscription.

Chris: Yeah.

Arthur: 'Cause that's the one I have.

Chris: And it's like, you know, I have to start from scratch.

Arthur: Well, true. But you'd have someone helping you this time.

Chris: Yeah. I'm sure my s-- my, my-- my gal pal, she also has a PS4, so... I'm sure she can help me as well.

Arthur: Oh, we can get a little group together, that'd be fun.

Chris: All right. At least it's cross-save, also, between the three consoles, so that's... big plus.

Arthur: Yes, definitely. And you know I'm looking forward to our Yu-Gi-Oh match immensely. That would make a great Let's Play video.

Chris: Yeah. I'm uh, goi-- I'm still playing through and playing [independent?], I just need three more cards to fully get my deck together.

Arthur: What are you still looking for? Maybe I can help.

Chris: I'm still l-- I'm still looking for the Magician's Valkyria.

Arthur: Ah, Magician's Valkyria. Hmm. Did you get the United We Stand? I told you where to find that.

Chris: Oh yeah. I did.

Arthur: That was easy. And also, um, I wanted to let you know that out of the pre-rendered decks in the game, you can take cards out of those too and add 'em to your trunk.

Chris: Hm. Yes, um, I'll have to look into that.

Arthur: So maybe some of the premade decks might have the card you're looking for. I never looked into it, but I know I took somebody's deck so I could have some of the cards in it.

Chris: Okay. I'll look into that.

Arthur: Yes, I've been pl--

Chris: I mean that's, uh-- I mean I'm still learning about the PS4, as well.

Arthur: Oh, I noticed. You're-- you're getting it down, though. I'll admit, you're getting it all down pretty pat.

Chris: Yeah. Hi, Snoopy. ...My dog.

Arthur: Oh, the dog. Hello, Snoopy! How are you doing?

Chris: Hm.

Arthur: Not very talkative.

Chris: [?]

Arthur: [laughs quietly] That's a good boy.

Chris: Yeah, he's a-- yeah, he's a pure-bred beagle. So's his sister, Clover.

Arthur: Ah!

Chris: Yeah, I've got my little critters, and my mom. Yeah, we're a fairly good family. Could be better, but it's good for the while.

Arthur: Oh.

Chris: Isn't it, Snoopy-doo?

Arthur: Ah, speaking of family, how's your mother been doing, lately?

Chris: She's okay. Just, pretty much same old, same old. But okay for the most part.

Arthur: You're not stressed out about nothing, or anything?

Chris: Uhh, say again?

Arthur: She's not stressed out about anything, is she?

Chris: Umm... uhh, no more than the usual, like finances, and uhh... whatnot. Household.

Arthur: Oh, that reminds me: I mentioned the Let's Play 'cause that's a good way to make a little extra money on the side, but there's one more thing that applies directly to you.

Chris: Mmkay.

Arthur: It's a show on the Syfy channel. It's called--

Chris: Hm.

Arthur: --'The Internet Ruined My Life.'

Chris: Huh.

Arthur: They actually interview people whose lives have been greatly and dramatically affected by the internet.

Chris: And the, uhh... bad people who abused it, and hated all over it?

Arthur: Yes. They bring attention to all the things that make it harder.

Chris: Hm. That does interest me, what was the name of that show again? It's on the Science Channel?

Arthur: The Syfy channel--

Chris: Syfy?

Arthur: The S, Y, F, Y? That's... that's a st-- I hate that slogan, it's so stupid, but uh, uh, it's-- the show is called 'The Internet Ruined My Life.'

Chris: All right, 'The Internet Ruined My Life.' Um, I guess I'll go online to do that, then. Maybe they'll interview me.

Arthur: They-- yes, because if they do interview you, they will pay you for your time.

Chris: That's good. I will do that. Oh by the way, how does the, uhh, Play-- Play Now thing, heh, how does that work out for paying me f-financially?

Arthur: The Play Now, or are you talking about the Let's Play?

Chris: Yeah, Let's Play, yeah.

Arthur: Let's Play is based on ads, and you get paid for every ad that people see when they watch one of your videos.

Chris: All right.

Arthur: So, if you get a video online, like, let's say -- just for, you know, just for the, the idea -- you and I went and played Yu-Gi-Oh right now and you put it on a Let's Play show. Every time somebody watches that and an ad plays, you get a percentile of the money that is, uh, accumulated from the ads.

Chris: All right, but that's, uh, through livestreaming?

Arthur: Uh, you could do-- it could, it could be a livestream show, or you can make money just from the ads, period. For example, someone like JonTron or The Angry Video Game Nerd, they don't livestream their show, but they have ads on them while they're playing.

Chris: Yeah, umm... yeah. I definitely have something like that set up on the v-videos that I've uploaded onto YouTube, but as for the ones that are livestr-- are pretty much livestreaming, being uploaded in the process? That's, well--

[audio cuts out for a brief period]

Arthur: Uh, Christine, you seem to be-- oh.

Chris: So I'm not sure--

Arthur: You cut out there for a second, sorry.

Chris: Hm?

Arthur: Uh, you cut out for a second. All the audio stopped for just a moment.

Chris: Oh, I'm sorry.

Arthur: It's fine.

Chris: Yeah, it's been [?], I had something like that set up on my YouTube.

Arthur: Hm, it's d--

Chris: So it's like, uhh, it's definitely for [liking them?] after the video is fully uploaded not for that to work.

Arthur: Yeah, once the vide-- once the video's up, or if you're l-- I mean, it's not necessarily a livestream that'll make any money, but the ads that'll play on that livestream after you've uploaded it, you'll get money for those.

Chris: Yeah. Yes, I [don't?] have something like that [coming out?] to my YouTube.

Arthur: I-- I gotta admit, Christine, I'd really like to play another round-- couple rounds of Yu-Gi-Oh with you, to get an idea of how my deck would fare against you. But I don't wanna ruin it, necessarily.

Chris: Mmkay. All right.

Arthur: But I mean, if you--

Chris: All right, so...

Arthur: But if you want to get some practice making videos, I have some time to spare, and we could play a few rounds and you make a few videos and upload 'em.

Chris: All right. Well, we'll work on-- well... I'll think about that and work on that.

Arthur: 'Cause anything that'll help you get some money is important to me. 'Cause I wanna see, you know, I wanna see you do well.

Chris: Mm. Well definitely donations through my shop on Etsy would be a big help.

Arthur: Mm-hm, mm-hm, yes. Well until I get myself another job, I'm gonna have to wait a while [to earn?] any financial donations.

Chris: Yeah. Good luck with that.

Arthur: Oh, yes, course. I shouldn't have any trouble. I'm pretty charismatic.

Chris: Quite. All right, well, I should probably get going. I'll let you go and definitely relay all this information to my associates you know, and hopefully, with the meeting of the business minds, there, uh, y'all be able to figure out something, and we can all work together on that.

Arthur: Of course, yes. Anything to get Sonichu or Christine Weston Chandler's name out there.

Chris: Yeah. Definitely-- I would say definitely both.

Arthur: Well, of course. Uh, well, it's-- it's tandem, one goes with the other.

Chris: Yeah.

Arthur: Like peanut butter and jelly, or--

Chris: Yes.

Arthur: --cream and potatoes.

Chris: Yes. All right, well, I'll let you go, you have a good day.

Arthur: Yes, you take care as well, Christine.

Chris: And, uh, we'll talk-- we'll talk again, later on.

Arthur: Okay.

Chris: All right, take care.

Arthur: All right, take care, Christine.

Chris: All right, bye now.

Arthur: Goodbye.

"Lil E" Interview

On 8 September 2016, a YouTube user by the name of Lil E, interviewed Chris at a restaurant of some kind.

Interview

CHRIS CHAN INTERVIEW
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Search for video	YouTube, archive
Stardate	8 September 2016
Subject Matter	Trolls Trolls, Sex Love Quest, Homos Homos, Television Television
Performance Style	Reason Reason
Saga	Tomgirl Tomgirl Financhu Crisis Financhu Crisis
Shirt	Blue and White Striped Dress Blue and White Striped Dress
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
previous Paid Message to the Trolls	next We Like Pearl

Transcript

Interviewer: So... You still recycle your gravy? ["Really, nigga?" sound effect]

[Sped up version of "I Want It That Way" plays]

I: - Weston Chandler... Uh, we have a few questions for you. So, first off, are you still on your Love Quest?

Chris:: Umm... Yes, yes, more or less, umm... I don't get to go ouda- out the house as much, but I'm still very much looking for a... my... womanly s- my woman sweetheart. Yeah, definitely all woman. Regardless, but, anyway, umm... yes.

I: Alright, and what do you think of the fame that Sonichu's brought to you?

[Chris nervously scratches temple]

C: Mmm... Yeah... Fame, good... Infamy, though, not so much, because of uh... all the drawbacks I've had. And, the stress... and the shock and all that, over the years, each individual one kind of... [puts finger to temple and sighs] still lingers in my head.

I: What are some of the drawbacks?

C: Umm... It prevents me from uhh... Being able to, uhh... Be more creative. It just... Ugh. It's practically paralyzing. I can't- it's like- it's hardly a- har- hardly able for me to help.

I: Can you tell us more about the bear?

[cut]

C: ...What?

I: The bear that gave you your name.

C: Oh, you mean the uh... Leonard Bearstein that used to be over at Regency square?

I: Yes. Leonard Bear.

C: Yeah, Bear Conductor, the conductor... umm... we told- it said- he asked- he asked me for my name, uhh... Which was Christopher at the time, and he misunderstood that, uh, the conductor behind the bear was English... Or British, something like that, and he misundertood, called me "Christian", and that inspired the fir- the first name change.

[cut]

I: So, have you heard of, uh, Sachumo?

C: Who?

I: Sachumo, he's a Youtuber, he made a documentary about your life.

C: [Confused] Umm... Yeah, I have not heard of him. And- is this that insensive documentary that I keep hearing about?

I: Yes, this is a documentary on YouTube, it has about half a million views.

C: Yeah, yes, still have not watched it.

I: Definitely should, it's pretty good.

[cut]

I: So, what does like, a normal day look like for you?

C: Ummm... It's-I try- try to be as- peaceful as possible, like, tend to go with the flow, really, uhh... and... If I go out, I go out, if I don't, I don't, uh...

I: Alright.

C: And sometimes I'm on day schedule, sometimes on night schedule, just switches on- switches on me and my internal clock, it's fickle, it bothers me, umm... But typically, ummm... say... If I go out, I'd be uhh... walking abo- I'd be walking around, I'd be nice- I'd be friendly and nice to peopl- to, uhh... tahh... peep- to people, civil to the men and more- and more talkative to the women, mmm... Umm, just be- just be normal and casual and, if I'm home I- if I feel like cradindinye- creating then I will end up doing that, otherwise for the m- what happens most of the times I'll, I dunno, probably just binge watch a TV show on Hulu, Netflix or something-

I: What are some of your favourite TV shows?

C: Umm, well, some of my favorite shows... Well I do like Seinfeld, and, uhh, Friends; Big Bang Theory is OK, that's, uh, more the, uhh, recent genre, but I also like Golden Girls and Fraiser, those are on the Hallmark channel. Umm... I Don't know recent shows, but also recently I've binged-watched through Hulu and Netflix, Kill la Kill, which I thought that was a good anime, all things considered, it had really good story and all that-

I: Huh, intereseting.

C: And, WataMote, that was good also, jus- I just feel like I could relate with, uhh, like the main character, the girl there. I don't remember her name at the moment. But also, it's just like she- she tends to overthink at socializing, and that's kinda like what I end up doing so far as well, or have done, probably still doing. It's habitual, overthinking, you do it and you're not thinking about it yet you're thinking and you're not thinking about it - [spins hand while while making weird noises] - That's an oxymoron.

[cut]

I: Alright, and-

C: Not anymore, anyway.

I: And, you consider yourself a transgender?

C: Yes, I'm a lesbian trans-woman, still very much interested in women, and I'm going to be transitioned at least with the binaural beats... And, uh, I will also be- I'm also looking into uhh, the HRT, for real, and uhh, and if not the natural transofmration then, if my insurance will allow me after I'll be going throught that intensive process, which will be starting up soon for me, uhh, then I will have the SRS.

I: Interesting, interesting...

[cut]

4:52

I: So, do you still recycle your gravy?

C: [disgusted] Ugh! No.

I: No. What was that all about? because a lot of people are talking about that.

C: Uhh... that's... uhh, public situation right now, I'd rather not talk about it but, yeah, let's just suf- let's just leave it at that, I have not done that for years.

I: Okay. It's good to know. Sorry, people were just asking about that. Had to bring it up. Umm...

C: Never ask that quesiton again, just leave it at that.

I: Alright. Ummm, and... A lot of people, a lot of trolls have tried to troll you, what do-

[cut]

C: ... quit it, don't try to stress me, don't try to bother me, I'm an artist, uhh, I've tried- I'm still long trying to recover from all the stress and the shock since 2007. It's a very long and tedious process, especially in my mind [clutches scalp]. You would- I mean- I don- Ya'll would probably not know, or you might know if you had your own family situations, and you're stuck in your basements and whatever, but, anyway, just- just- If you're not gonna be nice to me, if you- if you have nothing nice to say, you have- you have nothing good... intended, or if you only have bad intended, just- just don't bother me. I only respond best to uh, kindness and... honesty, and... more- and more to point, face-to-face, in person.

[cut]

I: What do you think about Encyclopedia Dramatica and their article about you?

C: Ugh. I'd rather not think about it. But, essentially, I don't ca- I do not care much for it.

[transgender section repeats]

I: Alright, and-

C: Not anymore, anyway.

I: And, you consider yourself a transgender?

C: Yes, I'm a lesbian trans-woman, still very much interested in women, and I'm going to be transitioned at least with the binaural beats... And, uh, I will also be- I'm also looking into uhh, the HRT, for real, and uhh, and if not the natural transofmration then, if my insurance will allow me after I'll be going throught that intensive process, which will be starting up soon for me, uhh, then I will have the SRS.

I: Interesting, interesting... All right, well, thank you for doing an interview with us, It's been an honor.

BRAVERYJERK INTERVIEWS CHRIS CHAN

Chris was spotted in a crowd of people being interviewed at the Cville Pride's 2016 event, and was included as an interview subject. Chris can be spotted at 2:39. (Keep in mind, the interview upload dates are out of order.)

HOW MANY GENDERS ARE THERE? [BJ on the streets]
Click to load content
Search for video	YouTube, archive
Stardate	7 October 2016
Performance Style	Reason Reason

BVJ: Hey, look who it is! It's Christian Weston Chandler!

(Jumpcuts)

BVJ: How many genders are there?

Chris: Oh, I just learned. There's like 58.

After the small cameo, BJ met with Chris for a one-on-one interview.

BRAVERYJERK INTERVIEWS CHRIS CHAN
Click to load content
Search for video	YouTube, archive
Stardate	17 September 2016
Performance Style	Reason Reason

Transcript

BVJ: Hello everyone, Braveryjerk here, today we are interviewing Christine Weston Chandler, how are you doing today?

[music with caption “In October 2016, Braveryjerk got the rare opportunity to interview Christian (Christine Weston Chandler) We had around 20 minutes to prepare” ]

CHRIS: [holding toy] It’s a custom Equestria Girls Minis I made…myself.

Chris sets up his Amiibo toys on a table, the interviewer is looking at them.

BVJ: (mutters) Are there more in here? You have the full…(mumbling)…probably shouldn’t touch that (wipes hands on clothing) That’s kinda gross.

CHRIS: [setting up toys] I’ll just put…one at a time.

BVJ: I’m gonna go get the camera…

CHRIS: Yeah, custom ‘mmibo figures of…Sonichu n Rosechu, Sonee n Rosey, and Angelica Rosechu.

BVJ: So you make these yourself?

CHRIS: Yeah. For figures it takes HOURS.

BVJ: It’s very pretty. How much would one of these go for?

CHRIS: Um…some of it’s….indivi…selling em for around…fifty dollars apiece or…

BVJ: FIFTY? I’ll give you two for it.

CHRIS: Oy vey, no.

BVJ: That’s all I got on me. Is that the original medallion?

CHRIS: Yesss. Uh. Nummer three whereas the first two have been…destroyed…that’s…that’s a whole buncha other stories.

BVJ: How were, how were they destroyed?

CHRIS: [sigh] Somebody else dessroyed the first one, and the other – and the second one was…shoved up my…keyhoooole….uh…

BVJ: You shoved the Sonichu medallion up your ass? (looks dramatically at camera)

CHRIS: Yip…yeah, it was..yeah, I don’t wanna talk about that.

BVJ: Why did you do that?

CHRIS: [sigh] Between uh…my theoretical ex-girlfriend and being blackmailed…Playstation Network theft….yeah. I don’t – that’s en – that’s enough said.

BVJ: So you chose to shove it up your…your boyhole?

CHRIS: [sigh] yeah…

BVJ: This is NOT the same one you put up your ass? [holding hands away from medallion dramatically]

CHRIS: Definitely not.

BVJ: Ok. Thank god. [more wiping hands on clothing and mugging for camera] That would be a little gross, right?

CHRIS: Nyah.

BVJ: This is the Rosechu?

CHRIS: Rosechu, yeah.

BVJ: Do you have like a napkin or something? [jump cut]

CAMERAMAN: And what’s your, uh, Etsy store link? So people can…buy your stuff?

CHRIS: It’s closed right now, I don’t know if I’ll be opening up after I catch up on my orders. Uh it’s CWCville Shopping on Etsy. It’s a link on my YouTube page, CWCville Guardian.

BVJ: CWCville Guardian, that’s a pretty snazzy name [sarcastic look at camera]

CHRIS: No, CWC, it spells – when you say it as a word it’s [sic] comes out as Quick. So…

BVJ: Wouldn’t it be like….ssswwwwsssskkkk?

CHRIS: Quickly, to the Tardis! [waves around Tardis blanket]

BVJ: Hooooly crap, that is…can you hold that up for us?

CHRIS: I brought it with me as something to s – as one to sit on.

BVJ: That is quite a meme right there.

CAMERAMAN: Alright, I think we are ready to start.

BVJ: Alright, everything’s turned up?

[jump cut to Chris fondling Equestria Chris]

BVJ: So you’re a Brony?

CHRIS: Ah, no, I’m a pegasister.

BVJ: Oh right, cause you’re a…(CHRIS: Yes.) A trans…woman.

CHRIS: I’m a…yes…I’m a [singing] female soooooooul!

[jump cut]

CHRIS: So do you wear glasses on your….all your online videos?

BVJ: Sometimes. [Chris looks very unsettled]

[jump cut]

CHRIS: I’m Christine Weston Chandler, formerly known as Christian Weston Chandler,

[jump cut]

BVJ: [slaps legs] So how are you doing today, first of all.

CHRIS: I’m all right.

BVJ: Cool cool. What do you think about the fame and popularity Sony-chu has brought to you?

CHRIS: Uh, SONichu. Uh…I’m kinda like, eh, somewhere in the middle about it, cause…’s nice, a lotta people know about me ‘n my characters, but then also, uh, lotta bad people been giving me bullying ‘n grief ‘n….’nets just been bringing me down emotionally ‘n mentally. Between blackmail…uh…dis, dat uh…[gestures with hand, sniffs] it’s hard – it’s just a lot – it’s so long a list an’ (cling?) theoretical ex-girlfriends who turned out not…to be…cert- not to be who they were. I don’t like dishonest or mean pe- cruel people. Learn some gen’ral kindness! And…honesty and…humility (lol)…don’t always…got hate. Don’t hate. Love conquers hate.

BVJ: Do you regret anything you’ve done in the past?

CHRIS: Definitely uh…fit…among de footage and thing…and pitchurs I’ve drawn of….quite revealing content.

BVJ: If you could undo one thing you’ve done in the past, what would that be?

CHRIS [sigh] Uh..undo one…thing…dat…mmm…I guess…fff..learning that I…funded [sic] the…Encyclopedia Dramaddica page inna first place. Then…I wouldn’t have – I wouldn’t have known…I woulda been…blissfully ignorant! [raises hands, shakes bracelets] Of da bad people. [tongue out]

BVJ: Do you regret posting those characters anywhere, or, or…

CHRIS: Uh…no I do not regret posting them, I just feel bad dat dey been crim…dey been criminally defaced, an’ brought to shame, the – I feel that the trolls and the (means bullies but says boys) and everything they’ve done against me and all that, they essentially took the fun out of it.

BVJ: And, you’ve said things that could be considered racist in the past. (CHRIS: Um…) Have your views changed on those?

CHRIS: Yes, b – esp – yes, um…I never really had anything against, uh, race or people, I never really did, uh…but im – in thought of that, the one president Obama joke that my father came up with about painting da house – White House prematurely, uh, yeah…[waves hand dismissively] that’s not my thing. That was, that was his opinion and his feelings alone, and that was…years ago. I have nothing against black people or anyone else of other countries, or yeah – or ra- wherever. Whoever.

BVJ: Well we have a quote here, you said…I hate N- [cuts off]

CHRIS: [looks very put out] I never said that. Migh’na been that parody I did of Uncle Ruckus’s songs against da gays but which dat…my views have been changed. (ironically sounds like “my views have not changed”). Well it def’nly came about when I realized dat I was a lesbian transwoman and I felt…comfortable amongst the LGBTQ community. I still feel – feel uncomfortable around males in general, but for da most part I will be civil, and uh…not mean to, not mean to any of them, unless any of them are directly mean to me. I definitely respond better to kindness, but um…yeah, I [stammers] have my eyes set on da women. And, very much attracted to women.

BVJ: So you’re straight.

CHRIS [angry sigh, looks annoyed] I’m a LESBIAN TRANSWOMAN, my FEMALE SOUL is attracted to women, so derefore I am a lesbian.

BVJ: But you were born a male, correct?

CHRIS: [even more annoyed] Ugh….yes, born male, but that’s irrelevant.

BVJ: How many genders are there?

CHRIS: Dere’s a lot more than [stammers]

[some really annoying music plays I’M A SCAT MAN! as Chris stammers]

CHRIS: Dat’s my guess, my educated guess.

BVJ: Could you name a few?

CHRIS: Well, there’s trans male, trans women, um (BVJ: That’s two.) …uh…uh…male female (BVJ: Four.) shoot….uh….well I’ve [sic] definitely would say uM, with regards to what f – what gender you feel you are inside, between male and female, versus or, im – in retrospect with what – the physical form you’re born with, uh [stammering, the editing cuts off what he was going to say and splices in more stammering]

BVJ: Do you consider yourself famous?

CHRIS: Uh. Mildly, yes. Umm…I feel like it’s positive because I have seen kindness from de asshual good and honest people…and…it’s brought lil – it’s brought at least a little bit of sutsess to…mit – myself personally and my…family? In regards to, or opposing to, like say, my half-brother Joseph Cole Smithey. And…his…[wipes greasy face] movie reviewing. Eh, but still I just feel like…’e’s so sussessful, he lives in, like an esspensive New York apartment, wit his wife, he could help out wit – he could help his own mother. Our sh – our mother. We share da same mother!

BVJ: So could you tell me about uh, a little about your family and your upbringing?

[the editing speeds up Chris’s answer, for no apparent reason, but Chris mentions his parents and Cole and how they share the same mother but not the same father, and says that his family used to be quite large but has shrunk in the past number of years]

CHRIS: Nobody’s around forever….[does sign of the cross] remember the ones who cared, and I definitely respect everyone from who…remembers, as suffered, or survived from….911 and all dat. [graphic of “Remembering 911” randomly appears]

BVJ: What do you think about the Black Lives Matter movement?

CHRIS: Uhhh, Black Li – I have not heard of that. Well…Black Lives Matter. It sounds like it’s…uh…maybe people, black people are, sounds like dey’re having trouble? But I feel…that, you know, to help any person in general, regardless of race [#AllLivesMatter flashes] or whatever. I mean, I’m for…de, uh…Black Lives forever.

BVJ: Do you consider yourself oppressed as a trans woman?

CHRIS: [confused] Um…O-pressed? [Oprah picture flashes for some reason] I’m not sure what da definition of o-pressed is.

BVJ: Do you feel as if you are mistreated, because of how you identify.

CHRIS: Oh! Mostly, uh…I’ve actually seen more of kindness from…at least locally, and I tend to ignore de, uh, boys (bullies) and trolls, especially with in the past, more recent years. Aside from – well – you have the haters, just uh, usually would shrug dat off…

[another irritating sequence of jump cuts with Chris saying “I feel like, I don’t feel…I think I feel…do not feel…”]

BVJ: Would you consider yourself a feminist?

CHRIS: Yes. Girl…woman power! Girls are strong, we kick butt!

[camera zooms in on Chris for some reason, before editing Chris’s next statement to sound like he is saying “Mmm, Butter” and flashing a picture of a stick of butter]

CHRIS: Y’all don’t totally know me from what I’ve done in past dat’s been uploaded on ‘ne Innernet, ‘n taken oudda context, y’all would be – would be better off getting to know me personally or better, I’m ashually – I’m ashually quite likeable.

BVJ: Are you still on your Love Quest?

CHRIS: Yes, but definitely feel that – and with that, um…in my relationship with women, uh wuh – ff- who I find to be my – ff – [deep breath] oh, my eventual sweetheart, def’nitely will be on the friends, friends first, den relationship layer on….yeah, it’s uh – it’ll be a mutual thing between her an’ me an’…I’d leave de…if and when of…private circumstances…up to her.

BVJ: When you…went into that Gamestop, what were you thinking?

[plays clip of DON’T CALL ANYBODY where Chris maces the Gamestop employee]

BVJ: The Gamestop where you pepper-sprayed the employee.

CHRIS: Oh, yeah…I was not esspecting to be…irrecepted like dat. Annnn I acted, pretty much, out of in sel- in actual self-defense…

[the clip is played again, directly when Chris sprays the mace]

CHRIS: …between uh, disinformed perceptionnnns….and being harassed previously, like dat, I never actually was able to defend myself before. Back den I thought, this was a positive means [text “meeeemes” flashes for some reason], but den it turns out, it went wrong, an re- and the reason behind that which was the Sonic the Hedgehog om – arm color change. [“No Colors Allowed” is flashed on the screen] Yeah, ‘n ‘at was just…plain trivial an’ I…really wish I had not…started that prot – dat protest ‘nna first place.

BVJ: So you believe that’s not a…’ppropriate reaction? To the change of a cartoon character’s arm color.

CHRIS: Yesssssss…I’ve come – I’ve realized dat. When I…did a search for my name brandomly [sic] ‘s da first thing I did when I just got my Nintendo Wii, and uh…den I found da Encyclopediadrammadica page an…learn ‘nat…people were…makin’ a mockery of me, gib’n me hate, an ‘nat just…really…threw me off. Initially, I fffffelt quite distraught, I felt…ashamed, I felt…some anger, I felt…rebellious, I felt…like dis is not right, dese people don’t know me for who -for the person I am, or was back den, they don’t know me personally. Yeah, dis webpage, ‘s just not right, I…tried multiple times ta…personally try to take it down and request it taken down, and dey said NO! And to change it so it’s more accurate, and dey didn’t do it! And eventually I…just…like I learned from…dat…parody song…You’ve been trolled, you probably told, don’t reply to this guy, he’s just getting a rise out of [starting to sing] you, yes it’s true, you respond and dat’s his cue, you start trouble on da double, while he (strokes his bendy skull????) You been trolled, you been trolled, you should probably just fold, when the only winning move is not to PLAAAAAY! And yet you keep on trying, and (??) replying, you been trolled, you been trolled, [holds up a hand to wave] have a nice day!

[camera randomly zooms in on Chris’s hand as he drops it back down]

BVJ: That’s amazing.

CHRIS: Tend to not…put…new revealing information about somebody’s past, against dem currently as long as…they’re actually…in the longer run, since after these past fee- these past feelings on…before flip-flopping or whatever…

BVJ: Would you ever run for President yourself?

CHRIS: NO. [jump cut to big stress sigh] We have our dogs, our fickle finances go up go down…the second halves of the months are usually worst on us in the house…[hand up on head] it’s a real strain. I mean regardless of my…impulses, impulse purchases dat…de trolls are ashually going into, and just [autistic hand twitch]…I don’t know, just…like being da paparazzi behind my back or, looking t’rough online transitions – transactions an’ wha-ever, that IS an ivasion [sic] of privacy! And that’s, uh, nobody’s business but my own, but I am still helping out my mother and the household. And I just, need a little time…I just need a little now and then, treat or time for myself, as anybody else would!

BVJ: You said you have dogs, what kind of dogs do you have?

CHRIS: Dey’re both beagles.

BVJ: What are their names?

CHRIS: [amazed he doesn’t know] Clover and Snoopy! A – sometimes I like to call ‘im Snoopy Doo. Dis is – mooshis (???) Scooby and Snoopy!

[more edited splicing of Chris stammering]

CHRIS: Da house was a lot more cluttered before da fire. An my mom wanted ta…plug in dis new coffee – dis new coffee maker dat uh…she – dat Mr. C had gotten like a year or two before? And wan – to go for – want to enjoy some of de…K Cup type coffee! So, mm….got dese extension cord I found the nearest available plug, and it was uh…[gestures] in da nearby…bathroom. But the coffee maker was…outside the bathroom. On a uh…dresser. And uh, we couldn’t cl – we couldn’t close the door, I uh [hand to face] I didn’t – I wasn’t thinking too clearly, I didn’t think as much, but I end up looping the uh, esstension cord OVER de door! And uh, the arc above the door, dat’s…POOF! [music of We Didn’t Start the Fire starts playing] And dat’s where the fire started, and…yeah mos – yeah, ummm…give or take, I’m not pointing fingers if it was here, from my mis – my mistakes, and I have made a lotta mistakes regardless, um…or my mudder want, the uh…coffee maker plugged in! Or…even de coffee maker itself, with da….de…with its possible faulty wiring and he had to go back and forth bet-between da mechanism and da socket? What happened happened, dat’s water under the bridge,

BVJ: So you burnt your house down.

CHRIS: [stress sigh] It was definitely nassident (an accident), it was not intended.

BVJ: You accidentally burnt your house down.

CHRIS: Yeah. At least…the majority of us, we got out safe. [text “The Majority?” flashes onscreen] All the original drawings an everything, all that, they were safe, but…definitely lost was uh…couple of things that were...hanging on my bedroom wall were destroyed in the fire.

[editing of Chris doing the sign of the cross again with chorus singing and Jesus photo superimposed over footage]

BVJ: What is that?

CHRIS: What?

BVJ: What’s that move. That thing.

CHRIS: What, you don’t know ‘bout that? I don’t know, I just took it from watching – seen it on television, I just feel like – got – feel like when I do it’s ‘s like “God help me”. Jesus did help us, uh…I feel like, um…we only have…yeah, dere’s o – dere’s one God, an ev’body regardless of the name….yeah, mm…dat’s…dat’s definitely also taking a little bit from the wisdom of Matt Groening, between…between the Simpsons and Futurama. Stayf…our…stayf…State Farm par-personnel was able to help us, uh…get us into a hotel for a f-into a hotel for a few weeks, before we got de…rental house dat we stayed in for dat…number of months?

[cameraman gets bored and starts zooming in and out on Braveryjerk]

BVJ: Now, can we get an update on your man-cl [cut off]

CHRIS: [frustrated] PLEASE, no comment!

BVJ: No comment? You made several comments on your, uh, public Facebook page.

CHRIS: Ugh. Yeah, dat was…impulsive and summa dat was brought on by…yeah, ‘n ex-girlfriend of mine of recent, but she left me of the uh…dishonesty therein, but uh, anyway I’m still transitioning, let’s just leave it at dat.

BVJ: So you, you believe that the bloody hole in your taint (CHRIS: Oh…please…) is…

CHRIS: Please, please, please! No comment! No comment! (BVJ: Have you…) Everything’s healed up, it’s all good, I’m still alive, let’s just l – give that…let’s just leave that – lie – lay that down to rest.

BVJ/CAMERAMAN?: Is there anything else you wanna say before…

CHRIS: Um…[open and close mouth like a fish] I’d say…to everybody on the Innernet…eh…f-face-to-face kindness and…meet and greets are better than online…yeah, meet first…it’s a whole – I feel like that’s more important den…mee’in anybody online communicating, you can…anyway, aside from d at, um…be good, be kind, have a good safe day!

BVJ: Hell yeah, my nig- [cut off]

CHRIS: Stop hayding, stop boying (bullying)! Love is better den hate! Kindness is berr res – better rescepted [sic] and more welcoming…den…mistrust, dislike, hatred, hurtful comments…if you got s- if you don’t have anything nice to say, mostly keep it to yourself, or amongst yourselves…

[flute music is edited in, the camera circles Braveryjerk and Chris before showing Chris putting away his toys. The camera slides around on a table, making a scraping sound.]

BVD: Alright, brofist! See you, good day.

CHRIS: Yeah, take care.

[more stupid editing commences]