After two other successful interviews, Sonichu fan Arthur Spatchcock makes a glorious return with his greatest interview yet of the TRUE and HONEST Christine Weston Chandler on 2 February 2016.
Arthur Spatchcock questions Chris about some information about his past that Arthur and his associates found here on the CWCki, such as the BlueSpike incident, death of Chris's pet cat Scamper, etc. Chris also performs his nightmare fuel Donald Duck impersonation, and states he once received a Tupperware full of HORSE manure. The two then discuss a bit of business and Sir Arthur Spatchcock suggest Chris do a demonstration of his incredible voice acting with his Sonichu Amiibo and himself.
A theory on how Chris might have known it was horse shit in the container.
The audio is also available here.
Arthur: Hello, Christine?
Chris: Yes, hello Arthur.
Arthur: Oh, how are you doing today?
Chris: I'm alright.
Chris: Al—alright—let's get down to the, uh, what are your new questions and inquiries?
Arthur: Well, yes, my associate has spent the last few days unfortunately looking over the C-W-C-I-K-I, what was it called again?
Chris: The CWCki.
Arthur: The CWCki. I see. Yes, they were overlooking it and they came across a few more slightly less than appropriate things and they really wanted to get some clarification about those.
Arthur: I told them I'd contact you, and get the straight-and-narrow answers right from the horse's mouth.
Chris: Yes. Alright, well, fire away.
Arthur: Alright. Well, that's not all I have; I also have a few more Sonichu questions that are much more business-oriented, but let's get the horrible things out of the way first. How's that sound?
Chris: Yes, that sounds very good.
Arthur: Alright. Well, we're gonna start off right with the biggest issue, I think, it's—I'm going to call it the BlueSpike incident.
Chris: Oh yes, the, uh, that was the uh, one of my theoretical ex-girlfriends, who turned out to be a, y—who turned out to be a troll, turned out to be an immature boy, I have no idea whether he's alive or not, whatever, still. B—but anyways, aside from that, and I—so I ended up making a drive all the way from Cleveland, Ohio, and uh... then I ended up with a fi—I ended up going to the address that was provided there, and, uh, d—and the p—em, BlueSpike was not there at all, just an old woman and the house looked run-down, nearly run down as well.
Arthur: That's just horrible, why would someone do that?
Chris: [sigh] Well, they're either bored, jealous, immature, what have you, all the stereo—amongst the stereotypical reasons.
Arthur: I bet it was jealousy. Alright, now the next thing that falls into the same category is: did he actually have you—did y—I nee—I need to know if you faked this or not—did he actually have you insert broken pieces of your medallion into your rectum?
Chris: Uh, unfortunately, that... is true.
Arthur: That's just horrible. How could that happen? That's—I can't believe it. Oh my god.
Chris: Yeah, I believe a—I believe at that time my PlayStation Network account was being held hostage as well... if I remember correctly.
Arthur: Okay, okay, so he was holding your thing hostage, so you were just forced into a situation you didn't like. I could understand that.
Chris: Yeah, and then I—and then I—later on I finally realized that all the time I should have called Sony and actually had them, pa—re—patch up the password and that would have fixed it, I wouldn't have had to go through all that. So that's too—that's big lesson learned, and ingrained into my memory, against my will, pretty much.
Arthur: Yes, it sounds horrible, I can't believe it myself, but it hurts me to think that happened to you.
Arthur: But enough about that, um, okay, we covered that, I'm glad we got that out of the way first and foremost, the um, the next thing is, um, it's not so much important, but they wanted to make sure because of, y'know, animal rights activists and whatnot, um, when your house burned down, which by the way: I feel for you, it's a horrible thing to have happen to anybody—
Arthur: even though it wasn't the whole thing, thankfully, but still, um, there were rumors being passed around the CWCki, as you called it, that one of your pets died.
Chris: Uh, yes, one cat. His name was Scamper—the, uh, cleaners found his body behind the toilet upstairs and—died of smoke inh—inhalation.
Arthur: Oh, that's horrible. My—my heart goes out to you.
Chris: Well, anyway, anyway—we buried his body in the back yard, and uh, and had a moment of silence there and all that.
Arthur: It's a horrible way to lose a pet, but, you know, I understand that hopefully he didn't die painfully.
Chris: [sigh] Well, I wish I could have—wish I'd known that he was up there, I would've gotten him out when we were all getting out.
Arthur: Well, at least you're alive, and that's what matters.
Arthur: Now that we've covered that, I mean, I mean, we don't want the animal rights activists to come running forward and think that you didn't care enough, you just let the pet die.
Chris: Oh, yeah, I did care, and for a while we thought that he had gotten out, but we were not totally positive, but then we finally came to closure after the cleaners found the body, so—[sigh] my other cat Lucy missed him very much, but su—and, uh, recently we adopted another male cat from the SPCA, eh...
Arthur: It's always nice to adopt rather than get a new kitten. It's always nice to adopt.
Chris: Yeah. And m—and I wanted to make sure it was an adult cat though, I didn't want to go for a kitten at the time, and it was male, so—eeyel, he and Lucy are getting along fairly well.
Arthur: Alright, now this is—this is a slight business question, but um, on the CWCki, it mentions something about you losing a job before, from terrifying a small child.
Chris: [sigh] No, no—uh, y—uh, that, yeah that was, uh, someon—that was nearly the beginning of the decade, uh, well, millennium. Uh, when I had—when I was working at Wendy's for the few months, I did not terrif—there was a child crying, because child was tired; I had nothing to do with making that child cry. Had nothing to do with it whatsoever, and when I—and I was just, happened to be at the same table, nearby, when—as it was happening, and I went by there, an—ano—I wa—I wanted to help them be on their way, so I got—so I offered to get them a lid for their baked potato they were having, and I got them a lid for their baked potato.
Arthur: So it—'cause it says on the CWCki, it had something to do with Donald Duck.
Chris: [using Donald Duck impersonation] I tried to—I tried to like, entertain the children with the Donald Duck voice. [quacking noises]
Chris: [normal voice] But yeah, that was not the case at that time.
Arthur: That was pretty good! I like that, that's nice. That completely caught me off guard. [stilted laugh]
Arthur: That was funny.
Arthur: So he nothing to do with that. But nice to know, I just—still, it's nice to see—your voice acting's pretty impressive, 'cause I was actually going to ask you, later on, that um, we'll save it for the end though. Let's wait 'til we get near that first.
Chris: I—I think you mean, if I'm to differentiate between my own voice and the voice of Sonichu, yeah, there will be a slight difference.
Arthur: Oh, don't worry; I—I have an idea at the end, that I'd just love for you to do, but we'll save it for the end when we get near that.
Arthur:'Cause, after all, I wanna get these questions punched out, real quick-like, and then we can go on to a little business talk, and then I can share some more information with you.
Arthur: But first, next question: uh, this one is the last, uh this is the last one from the CWCki, and the rest of it's business-associated-wise, really. Um, this question is, it has something to do with your church. We don't want religious people coming after us thinking you're anti-Semitic, or you're atheist, or something like that.
Chris: I am none of those things.
Arthur: None of those things. So, it says on the CWCki you were kicked out of your previous church.
Chris: Um, yeah—that was—yeah, that was because the, uh, pa—because my past friend Joshua Martinez, uh, shi—uh, show, shared with the pastor of that church about, uh, my Faceb—about my My—not sure if it was my MySpace—yeah, I think it was my MySpace page that I used to have, um, yeah, I had, uh, there were a few images of, uh, women—of women on there, at the time, and, uh, he did not like that. And so he inform—he informed me that I was not welcome to his con—to his church there.
Arthur: Okay, okay. And—
Chris: Uh, so, it was just a—that was the only matter. It had nothing to do with Semitism or whatever, all of that. Nothing to do with any of that.
Arthur: And are you getting along with your current congregation?
Chris: Yes. I'm—and I'm still walking to the ch—to my current church, I just have not been there in a long time.
Arthur: Well, it's understandable, understandable, you don't make it every Sunday, after all.
Arthur: Okay, that's—that's like the last real, y'know, personal question in the sense of how deep you wanna go into the CWCki. Everything else is just based on everyday life. Like, for example, I have a few questions about Impulse. Impulse is a club, I believe?
Chris:Yes, it's a LGBTQ club in Charlottesville, Virginia, open on Fridays and Saturday—Friday and Saturday nights.
Arthur: And, do you go often?
Chris: Uh, I have not been in a while, but I did go there about near every—about near ev—near every Saturday night for a while, I was looking to meet more women.
Arthur: Ah, more women. It's a good place to go.
Chris: Yes. Yeah.
Arthur: So it's it's-
Chris: [interrupting Arthur] It was a good place.
Arthur: So, technically, going to Impulse is an impulse for you.
Chris: Ha! [pause] Tha- That- That's a fairly good play on words there. Um, not really but it's- I do- I realize I- I give it a try after I figure myself out, uh, the couple of- The few- The couple of years ago. That was uh, lesbian trasformate.
Arthur: Okay, okay, because I saw that and I don't think that's going to be a big deal with this show. After all there's all kinds of, there's all kinds of people involved with entertainment these days that our transsexual or lesbian or gay, doesn't matter anymore. That's not a big thing. People won't worry about that.
Chris: [interrupting Arthur] Right... Um yeah but I think uh I do understand that the uh general question um among which [pause] about the uh group, of women that usually went there... really big... and all that. Sorta like a name calling, but no, that was not the case, because uh, I did not know all their names... uh the manager had slipped- I taped a uh piece of paper onto the uh counter at the part... at the part side closet to the uh stage. Yeah. He called them the uh quote unquote, "Itty bitty titty per- parade". Sometin' like that.
Arthur: I think the terminology is "Itty Bitty Titty Committee".
Chris: Yeah, that was it. But anyway, um, yeah because I did not know their names, that was just, I mean I didn't- it- it came to my mind, so that's, was just a... offhand reference. Had nothin' to do with my opinions, or anything- or what- or anything that- it- I was just borrowing the term.
Arthur: Okay, alright, understandable. Hey, we all say dumb things.
Arthur: Okay! Last one, and then straight to Sonichu. It's gonna be perfect. Um, I noticed on the CWCki, it mentions that every once in a while, you get... gifts? And donations? From people, sometimes surprising, sometimes anticipated?
Chris: Yes. Yes.
Arthur: Wh-what kind of things do you get? I mean exactly, I mean I hope you're not getting, like, shoe boxes full of cat poop, or... You know...
Chris: Uhh, no no no, um, so that does not happen, very often... Uh, only once... time, only one time, though, somebody had sent me a Tupperware full of... Horse manure... And we put that- and we put that in the-
Arthur: [stifled laughter, breaking character] I'm sorry, no, you gotta be kiddin'- [in character] no. That's just wrong.
Chris: Yeah. That- th- anyway w- we put that in the trash immediately after we figured that-
Arthur: I would hope so!
Arthur: Okay, so- like- but- like- d'you get money or is it like, um, like useful household items like soap or toilet paper, things like that?
Chris: Um, yeah, they ha- ye- ma- ye- yeah especially after the, uh, fire, we have received a few helpful... Items... In- in th- in the mail. Uhh, we have received m- we have received s- some monetary donations around Christmas time, like, um... One or two actual, functional, gift cards to be redeemed, but uh- but somebody, uhh, one or two sent me EMPTY gift cards, as a... Joke.
Arthur: (uncaringly) Now that's just mean...
Chris: Yeah but it's like, uh, y'know, I don't ha- I don't have to actually go out, uh, and be like "Oh I'm going to use the gift card! I don't know whether it's blank or not!" No, I verify them through the, uh, 800 number, that the web address lists on there.
Arthur: Oh, that's clever.
Chris: Yeah... I mean it- it bothers me that- it bothers me only a little bit, it ticks me off only minorly, but I've pretty much gotten used to that, along with the other... prank... bad... thing... uh... gifts, or... le- or hate mail, as to put it. And I just know to, just overlook this- just overlook that, and be like... Heck with it.
Arthur: Well heck I'd always look inside all of 'em, just to make sure there's not a card inside, or something.
Arthur: So, okay! I think that covers all of the immmm- little tiny inconsequential questions, now it's time for some straight up business talk. And we're gonna start right off great, you're gonna love this.
Arthur: Ummm... There's talk about a game, but I can't go too far into it yet, but umm... If there was a game, how would you like it to be? Would it be an adventure game, would it be a platforming game, an RPG, a puzzle game?
Chris: Uhhhhh... I think it'd be, I think it'd be uhh... mix of which but I think it would mostly be traditional platforming.
Chris: And uh with uh and uh with uh [pause] Uh I'd say inspired by the uh by the past Sonic the Hedgehog games but um... not- not totally. Be more... more among what I- what I figure ya know? I- I mean only inspired by but not totally copying. I mean, it's not like Sonic could naturally shoot lightning bolts at enemies.
Arthur: No, no. Of course not, of course not. And if um, if this did happen, would the game follow the Sonichu story, like in the comics, like would you just recycle existing storylines or would you create a brand new storyline just for the game?
Chris:: Uh, yeah--
Arthur:: --a brand new storyline just for the game?
Chris:: Yeah, I would definitely see-- I would say initially, among which, yes, based on what I've done so far, and then also introducing new elements, and [parts?].
Arthur:: Okay, okay. All right, so um, another question is: some of my associates have actually seen your videos with the Amiibos and stuff, and um, they noticed you have a LOT of them. Are you, are you constantly making them, or do you just, like, move the same ones around a lot?
Chris:: Um, I mean, umm... it's not like to... make 'em all the time and then have 'em ready for distribution at once. Uh, no, it's that, what [sounds?]-- that would be like, totally kind of a waste, there, and then I'd just have rooms full of figures that nobody had purchased. Yeah, no, I make--
Arthur:: So you just--
Chris:: Yeah, no, I do--
Arthur:: You just make them to order?
Chris:: Yeah, I do it as they-- as they come in, yeah.
Arthur:: Okay, okay. Makes sense, much more practical.
Chris:: Especially-- especially on the uncommon material figures for the-- what I would use for the chip and the base.
Arthur:: So, uh... how much do you usually make from your Am-- figurines and medallions? Ballparking, for business.
Chris:: Uhh, I'd say about, um... I'd, I estimate around... I'd say about around... ten dollars profit, but that's my est-- that's just a guess off the top of my head, I've never really thought about it totally, but...
Arthur:: Well I mean if-- I mean like in a total, like a, like a single sum number; like, if you took all your figures, all the Amiibos, all the medallions, all the comics you sold, how much do you think you've made in total?
Chris:: Uhh, but yeah, uh, initially, it did come up to like, uhh, over a th-- over a thousand doll-- over a thousand dollars when I started making the Sonichu figures on-- and selling them on Ebay.
Arthur:: Okay, okay, so we're on a thousand dollars. All right. Um, if we were to BUY the Sonichu name off of you? Like the rights? How much would that be worth to you?
Chris:: ...Uh, I would have to totally be involved with every project...
Arthur:: Oh no no, I understand that, I'm just saying, like, in the sense of if you were going to sell the rights, but you could still be involved, like Stephen King.
Chris:: Right. Umm... I'm not sure, umm... I'm gonna-- I'm gonna estimate over a million.
Arthur:: Over a million. So just like a straight million, 1.5, two mil?
Arthur:: Okay. So, yeah, that's okay. Small number, most people go for fifteen mil, easy, right off the top.
Chris:: Hmm. All right, well...
Arthur:: It's too late, you already said a million.
Chris:: I don't, I don't-- I don't know everything, and, uh, still...
Arthur:: I'm just-- I'm just messing with you, Chris, don't worry. Hahaha! That kind of stuff will come together in a congre-- will come together in a meeting, and there'll be a contract, and there'll be a lawyer involved, we wouldn't just throw it out there and then just like, give you one choice.
Arthur:: It'd be a lot of negotiation crap. All kinds of 'bleugh' stuff, nothing important, really. Um, now, here's an-- here's one question, and it's a little bit about your mother, Barbara. Um... I know she's getting on in years, and I'm not trying to say, you know, anything bad, but um--
Arthur:: If this goes through, um, and you move-- and you end up moving to London, umm--
Chris:: [stress sigh]
Arthur:: Are you going-- are you going to be able to live by yourself, if your mother passes?
Chris:: I would have-- I would definitely need a lotta, lotta money in order for that to make me feel more secure, and I definitely would want my s-- my future, my sweetheart future wife...
Chris:: Uh, that's secure. I'd want everyth-- I would feel a lot, lot better if everything was secure, but initially, I don't feel like I could do fair-- I don't think I could do fairly well, initially, financially, and uhh, much else, mentally, emotionally, by myself.
Arthur:: Yes, you said 'sweetheart,' you have a girlfriend?
Chris:: Yea-- no, I still don't have one yet.
Arthur:: Oh, ah. I apologize, I don't mean to pry.
Arthur:: But other than that, um... So, you'd be able to do something, but at only under the, uh, the aspect--
Chris:: Yeah, after--
Arthur:: --of having financial security?
Chris:: Yeah, after I've, uh, after I feel much-- after I've gotten-- after I find, and-- after I feel more emotionally, financially, secure and everything.
Arthur:: Okay, okay. All right. And uh, I remember earlier you said something about the, uh, the-- uh, [?], the videos? I mean, I haven't made videos out of this, I just save them as, uh, audio files.
Chris:: Oh yeah, uhh, yeah, [I asked you if I?], yeah--
Arthur:: If you want copies, I can get you copies, no problem. I'll just send them to you. But all I do is I share them with my, uh, associates. I just play them at the meetings we have.
Chris:: Quite. Uh, but, I mean, yeah, I just-- I would put that on my Facebook to-- so that, so that everybody would be sure to hear the, uh, intervie-- hear the interview and all that. Get the straight-up stories, and...
Arthur:: Of course, of course.
Chris:: All the good stuff.
Arthur:: Now I said I had an idea for you at the end of this, and I think it'd be perfect. It's a little two-in-one deal, that I think my associates would absolutely fucking love.
Arthur:: Let's take your two Amiibos, one for Sonichu and one for Christine, and uh, we'll get the camera on them, and you can show off your merchandise AND show off a little bit of your voice-acting at the same time.
Chris:: Oh. Okay, well I mean the difference to being this and the, uh, pitch, uh, Sonichu would be a higher pitch. Compared to me.
Arthur:: Okay. Well, they just want-- they just want a really short thing. Like, just like, I don't know, just a little bit of pantomime with the two characters.
Arthur:: Just make them have a conversation with each other for like, a minute? Maybe even thirty seconds.
Chris:: Yeah, all right, well I will think about that. Take it under great consideration.
Arthur:: Of course, of course. You're not being forced to do anything, but it'd really push the thing. Now before I go -- as I said, I've covered everything we need to cover in this meeting -- there are a few other projects that are being thrown on the table. After all, this is a-- this is an animation company, then we've got shows coming in all the time. We've got, we've got another show that involves an actual hedgehog character, and I've got somebody competing with me to get this show made...
Chris:: [vague stress noises]
Arthur:: It's been in works for years, and he's tried to-- he's been promoting it like crazy himself. I've got another guy who's trying to get some 'Generation Z' show going; he's some celebrity named Hayden Black, he sounds like a fucking idiot, I don't know who he is, but he's got his show, and I'm trying to get yours on top of the heap.
Chris:: All right. Uhh, but yeah, you can send me the-- you can tell me if-- you can type it all out and send it to me in an email. I'll be able to understand it completely better then.
Arthur:: Okay. But other than that, I think we've covered everything, Chris. This covers EVERYTHING. Next time I call you, I will have an answer for you about where things are going to go.
Chris:: ...All right, good. I will, thank-- thank you for the uhh, interviews, and uh, I'll talk to you next time.
Arthur:: Of course, Chris...tine, take care.
Chris:: All right, take care, bye bye.