Hello, Juffalo

“	Fuckin' Chris Chan, how does he work?	”
CorruptedGamingShow making a reference to an ICP meme.

"Hello, Juffalo" (or "Hello, Juffalo.MOV") is a video uploaded on 18 December 2009, where Chris performs "Juggalo Family" by Dark Lotus, a supergroup featuring members of the Insane Clown Posse, and fucks up the lyrics constantly.

Chris tries hard to act like a Juggalo by painting his face like a Sonichu-themed clown (note the rosy red cheeks, which instead make him look like a human-cockatiel hybrid abomination) and imitating stereotypes of gangster subculture. He is close to having no flow, spending the majority of the time either mumbling the lyrics or not even reciting them at all. In other words, Chris can't even get being part of one of the most infamous fanbases in music right! He also gives a shout-out to "Juffalos", which is apparently a Juggalo term for superficial posers who don't understand the depth and complexity of literally clowny rap music.

This is the second time Chris wore makeup, with the first time being shown in War Paint Video.

He dedicates this song to an unnamed gal-pal, whose influence likely explained the sudden influx of Chris-Chan rap videos.

Video

Hello, Juffalo
Click to load content
Stardate	18 December 2009
Subject Matter	Music Music, Galpals Gal Pals
Performance Style	Crazy Crazy
Shirt	Straight White Lines The Flag-Waving Patriot
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
previous IPods Down and Listen Up	next 20 December 2009

Transcript

Captain's Rockin' LOG, fans! And we're rockin' it...out loud, with "Juffalo Family" for my gal pal.

["Juggalo Family" begins playing]

And you want to know if I'll trade ten Juggalos, for a hundred mainstream fans, and I said, "I wouldn't trade ten Juggalos for a hundred thousand mainstream fans; ten Juggalos is priceless.

I got love for my homies, members of the Lotus
United we stand...squashing all deadly fo-ces
Been to Hell, could've sent an eternity there
All the bad shit I've done, I should still be there!
Juggalos, can ya feel me? Worldwide...
Running with the hatchet straight out of the Lotus Pod
Always got [indistinct]
Juggalos, Dark Lotus, Psychopathic, [begins mumbling lyrics indistinctly] thatthuwayyoogo...

So many people in the maytris die alone
Not me, my soul belongs to juggalos
They keep me going when I'm down and out
I pick the phone up, drop them a line and hear them shout
Saying "[indistinct] is the shit," [indistinct]
I give a pupah to all the homos and the chinas who [indistinct] started
[indistinct]

[mumbling stops, shouting of chorus begins]
MASS MURDER MAKES ME HAPPY
DEAD BODIES MAKE ME HAPPY
Say what you will of me,
I'll-always have a Juggalo FAMILY!
MASS MURDER MAKE ME HAPPY
DEAD BODIES MAKE ME HAPPY
Say what you will of me
I'll always have a Juggalo familAAAAAy!

Six individual pelt over and stiff
They try to ride away don't follow my trend
There's be a dirt filled grit and grind.
Goodbye Juggalo...[mumbles] what's mine is yours
That's why I go to a dark carnival show, show you a different world
[mumbles]--juggalo, throw the hatchet!
Tell 'em I'm gonna be sucking your dick! Bitch be psychopathic!

On my iPod be living it all along
[mumbles]--of the sunlight!
[mumbles]--for so many years that I question the love in my heart
I hate everyone and I hate everything
Except all the Juggalos and the love that they bring! I love ya!

[chorus]

[Chris struggles to keep up with the lyrics while ICP music is playing in the background]
...shirt would still be saggy
I wouldn't be fat, I'd still be hungry and crabby
Used to buy our own records at the stores so they would think it was a hot seller
In other words...but we built a team of killers with the same dream
But we couldn't reach the top; we'd stay like Charlie Sheen
We finally realized we will always have the Juggalos
I'll never give another second to them other hoes!

[Chris struggles to follow the chorus, which repeats twice, then makes retarded poses while slurring:]
Lotus! Lotus! Lotus! Lotus! Lotus!

[repeats quote at beginning of song and chorus repeats twice before fading out; Chris clears his throat at one point]

See also

• JuggaloShoutOut

External links

• The actual lyrics
• Dubbed with the real song

⇐ IPods Down and Listen Up

Chris's videos

20 December 2009 ⇒