Kim Wilson

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"Kim" redirects here. For Chris's blow-up doll, see Kimmi.
This article is about the troll character Kim Wilson. For the troll sweetheart, played by the same person, see Emily.


Protip.jpg
PROTIP:

Kim Wilson and Emily were false identities played by the same person.[1] The CWCki treats them as if they were separate people because they were to Chris. It's also funnier that way. If you needed us to tell you, it might be time to visit an audiologist.

Kim Wilson is a gal pal/undercover troll of Chris. She was first mentioned in Kacey Call 1, and much of what is known of her comes from references in the Kacey calls. In 2009, Kim was regularly calling Chris at 10 P.M.[2]

Under the moniker ScarletSanctum (her YouTube username[3]) Kim served as a judge for the SingStar Challenge,[4] where she voted in favor of Solid Chris.[5]

Like Anna, Kim is a frequent commentator on Chris's Facebook page. However, Anna harbors an intense dislike of Kim, and has accused her of being a troll.

In June 2020, after seeing an episode of Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History featuring an e-mail Kim had leaked on Kiwi Farms in which Chris discussed shoving his dick up his ass, Chris finally realized Kim was a troll.[6]

Introduction to Chris and Kacey

Prior to the Kacey calls, Kim had been emailing Chris, helping him get into Liquid Chris's email account.[7] In an attempt to establish that she was not a boyfriend-free girl, she told him she was with a tough dude named Logan, and together they had two German shepherds.[3] Irrespective of this, Chris typically still thought Kim liked him, and asked Kacey to ask her what she thought of him, despite having stated "I respect her space very much."[8] After Chris gave Kim's email address to Kacey, the two became friends.[9]

Interactions

In August 2009, Kim asked Chris to share his PSN information with her. He happily surrendered his username and password, resulting in his PSN account getting hacked.[10]

By September 2009, Kim was regularly calling Chris. It was Kim's suggestion that Chris get a sports bra for exercising, prompting Chris to purchase one.[11] That month, Chris also sent her the pictures of him with Faeryn, as well as the infamous picture of him in the sports bra.[12][13] He also told her (inappropriately) that he had an insecurity over penis size.[14] While Chris ignored her suggestion to do a Sonichu cosplay,[15] he would in fact later cosplay as Chris-chan Sonichu. She tried to get Chris to give her his PS3, under the guise that her boyfriend was a professional who could debug it, but failed.[16]

It was Kim who told Chris that Regina could just be "a whole bunch of misunderstandings", instead of a troll.[17]

Attempts to improve Chris

Like Kacey, Kim actually tried to get Chris to improve his life. She was asking Chris to eat right and exercise,[11] to stop sighing and saying "whatever", take his Lego city apart,[17] learn to play the guitar,[18] and gave him a mock job interview, in hopes that he'd find a job.[19] Chris obliged none of her requests.

Real-life encounters

Kim may have already encountered Chris by the spring of 2009. In a chat with Vanessa Hudgens from 22 April Chris talked about meeting Joshua at the mall along with a girl named Kim,[20] although whether it was Kim Wilson is unknown. The only information discernible about the Kim mentioned in said chat is that she was not previously familiar to Chris (he had a slight trouble recalling her name) and that he was somewhat sexually interested in her ("[Kim] was cute and sexy, but I still remain devoted to my Sweetest Ivy").

At one point, Chris met Kim (Wilson) in person, going to an Applebee's with her and Kacey.[7]

On June 2009 a number of videos of Chris interacting in public were uploaded to the YouTube account ScarletSanctum, which, as Chris has confirmed, belongs to Kim.[3] Another series of similar videos was released by the same account on July 2009. Part II was shot long before its release in July 2009 - the girl in the video mentions hiding from Chris the fact that she's in a relationship, but Chris was under the impression that Kim had a boyfriend named Logan a month before the video's release - 15 June 2009.[21]

The boyfriend Logan character was created as a means to prevent Chris from being too creepy to Kim, and as a means to manipulate Chris into doing something by feeding him a sob story about Kim and Logan having relationship problems.[22]

In 2018, Kim introduced a friend to Chris. She described the meeting in a Kiwi Farms post:[23]

A friend was coming to visit from out of town and he had been such a huge fan of Sonichu for a long time(kek). I never planned to hang out with Chris ever again but I figured it would be a last good hoorah and as a treat to my friend. So I set up it up and we met at The Tea Bazaar. Another friend came along as well. Chris showed up looking like he got dressed in a Goodwill with his eyes closed with his damn Sonichu medallions and tacky ass arm bands and braclets.

Introductions included introducing us to Magichan and I think Mewtwo who were supposed to be sitting in some empty seating. Afterwards, almost fucking immediately he pulled out this fairly large pouch from under his shirt which was around his neck. He dumped the contents out on the table which were a bunch of crystals and rocks. For the next agonizing half hour+ he picked up every single one to tell us what it was and what "properties" it had. No matter how hard we tried to change the subject he immediately went back to powering through his rock collection. Nothing would deter him. Eventually the rock lecture ended and we were free to steer the conversation elsewhere.

He gifted me a copy of one of his comics and an amethyst stone which I later gave my friend because I didn't need those cursed items in my house. Most of the conversation was him talking about the other dimension and his powers. He bragged about how he was able to produce electricity with his hand, in which he held out his hand in a claw like manor, the concentration on his face akin to that of an infant trying to pass a hard poop. Then he asked if we could see it which we didn't indulge him and told him no. His response was along the lines of "Mmm, okay."

He told me he was able to produced sparks with his magical highschool ring when he struck it against some stone on his bracelet. I told him the stone in his ring was chipped from doing that. My friend humored him a little bit asking him questions about toon world. Friend kept using words like Armageddon and the apolocalypse which Chris didn't like. Friend also compared him to Robotnik which he got mad at.

Honestly, I zoned out a lot of the time because really, Chris is fucking boring. He's an entertaining novelty for about 30 minutes. Longer than that, you start to wonder why you put yourself in that situation.

Mentions in videos

In June 2009, after Chris created a video called Don't Trust Any Homos Over There, an upset Kim forced Chris to create the apology video I'm Sorry, Dude, in which Chris insisted that he likes gays who "ac— ...accomplish other things, like Stephen Fry, who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on LittleBigPlanet." Kim claimed to be upset because her boyfriend had a gay brother who lost both his arms in Iraq,[21] the veracity of which was never confirmed.

Chris mentions Kim in his August 2009 video, Light His Mind's Darkest Hour, in which Chris states that Kim brought it to his attention that his Curse-ye-ha-me-ha of Liquid Chris was too harsh of a punishment.[24]

In Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!, made on 14 March 2010, Chris mentions that he shares with The Wallflower a female friend, whom he nicknames Scarlet. Seeing that Kim's YouTube username is ScarletSanctum, this is likely a reference to her. In the video, Chris says that he forwarded to Scarlet the "admissions" of Surfshack Tito, likely referring to the email Tito sent him on the day the video was made.[25]

In the Autism Tutorials Chris made several mentions of a gal-pal of his named "Mic". Considering his fondness for anagrams, it is not unlikely to assume that Mic is a code name for Kim. In his first mention of Mic Chris bemoans her unwillingness to move him out of her friend zone.[26] If she is really Kim this suggest that at some point she broke up with Logan, as Chris would probably not try to take things with her to the next level if she wasn't boyfriend-free.

In his last mention of Mic, Chris says that they do not often hang out with each other due to Mic being busy.[27]

Facebook

After Chris retreated from public view into his private Facebook page in 2012, Kim followed him there and made regular comments on his wall. Her remarks are usually compliments or bits of gently proffered advice attempting to push Chris's socializing in a positive direction (though he does not often follow them) or occasionally some serious criticism (which he never follows).

On 5 September 2012 Anna McLerran called Kim out as a troll in a comment thread following one of Chris's posts. Either Chris ignored her accusation or he wasn't convinced, as he continued to recognize Kim as one of his few friends in subsequent updates.

On 12 May 2015, Kim commented on a photo on Chris's Facebook page, revealing that he is now taking female hormones.

Following Chris and Jessica Quinn's breakup on 5 October 2017, Kim attempted to console Chris; however she misinterpreted the cause, to which Chris ranted at her. In his rage, Chris remarked that Kim knows the Magical Man's identity:

References

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