Monthly tugboat
| “ | yet AGAIN I am waiting for my next tugboat from my Social before I can even pay a Website to Host me and grant me a better .com domain name than sonichu.com | ” |
| Chris to Miyamoto, complaining about how long his free money is taking | ||
The monthly tugboat is Chris's euphemism for his Social Security Disability check. Essentially, the United States government has a taxpayer-funded program to financially support disabled individuals who are unable to work-but many recipients are simply diagnosis-holders who choose not to work despite being able to do so. Like Chris. Chris receives $800 a month, with $450 going to his parents for room and board. The rest of it goes to either video games or straight up his ass. However, $350 was nowhere near close enough to satisfy Chris's desire to purchase porn and video games. As of July, he has at least $2000 of credit card debt, including on cards he stole from his parents.
According to Chris, he is not wasting his taxpayer funded tugboat, because he is indirectly paying the tugboats of others. By Chris's [ChrisAndReality|logic], by purchasing his useless commercial goods, he is paying sales tax which the Government puts directly back into the hands of the needy[1]. This is a tremendous leap in faulty rationalization, even for Chris. If you thought he didn't understand money before, you ain't seen nothing yet.
On the advice of his father, Chris doesn't get a job because the tugboat gives him more money overall. Your tax dollars at work, people.
In a recent mailbag, Chris revealed his belief that by being "on the tugboat" he is actually helping the economy and other people on welfare as well, though he fails to elaborate on his economic theory beyond that.
See also
Sauces
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This article, like Chris's pickle, is a bit small. You can help CWCki by expanding it. |
- ↑ Chris's response in Mailbag34