Boyfriend-free girl
Boyfriend-free girl is a peculiar turn of phrase meaning a girl who is single.
Etymology
This is what Chris calls single white women. He wants one to make into a "Sweetheart from the Ground-Up."
Chris emphasizes the "boyfriend-free" part as nearly every girl he asks out has a boyfriend for some bizarre reason. One possible explanation is that a gal pal, hoping to kindly but firmly deter Chris from hitting on her, would claim she had a boyfriend, even if she doesn't. It seems that the very presence of Chris can cause a woman to spontaneously grow a boyfriend, or jerk. Also, the fact that "boy" is the first part of what he seeks may be perpetually thwarting his attempts to stay straight.
Chris also fears "gals" that have boyfriends, a condition he calls noviophobia.
In late October 2009, Chris's standards seem to have lowered yet again. Chris has become infatuated with Liquid Chris's girlfriend Kacey, going so far as to say he loves her in a grainy YouTube video, where he does not sound desperate. Days later, Chris asked her out via YouTube, which is a totally mature and appropriate way for a 27-year-old man to ask a woman out on a date. Although Chris has done disturbing things in the name of unrequited love before, and has previously been infatuated with a woman in a committed relationship, this is Chris's first serious attempt to break up a couple for his own personal gain. To this end, he has also created yet another video where he describes himself as a popular, attractive, even-tempered individual who makes good choices and has a strong moral compass.
tl;dr: Chris now believes he can steal people's girlfriends by making crappy YouTube videos full of lies and sexual innuendo.
This Chris sounds like a stud, where do I sign up?
Click here if you wish to pursue becoming a girlfriend of Christian.
I'm a fat, lazy, narcissist with no money. Suggestions?
Unfortunately, the ads you may have seen for 1-800-RITE-NOW are stupidly false.