Virginia is for Virgins
Virginia is for Virgins is one of Chris's many, many stupid theories. He literally thinks that every man, woman, and child in Virginia is taking part in a massive, Manhattan Project-style cover-up devoted solely to keeping him from getting any china. This idea was formulated after his sign was destroyed by Mary Lee Walsh and was told that he couldn't get a girlfriend by using a sign.
Contradictions
While Chris Chan states that Virginia "is for Virgins" only, people with an actual brain wind up with this question: how is it possible that our Autistic Hero developed a hatred towards men in a state where true love is virtually forbidden? If lovers cannot stay together, how come Bob and Barbara married? Does he imply that his parents don't actually love each other?
It is possible that all the couples seen in Virginia are nothing more than ghosts created by Mary Lee Walsh to taunt Christian, to eternally make him remember that no woman will ever free him from his sexual frustrations. Either that, or it's just Chris who fails to realize that the problem of him not finding a sweetheart does not lie in the fact that the State where he lives is against romance, but because he's completely fucked up in his mind and is not willing to make any changes to improve himself.
BUT WAIT!
Proof
These links provide irrefutable proof that it is illegal for Christian to ever have sex in Virginia. Read here, and here.
Huh. Seems we were wrong about that after all, eh?
See Also
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This article, like Chris's pickle, is a bit small. You can help CWCki by expanding it. |