Difference between revisions of "Ruckersville, VA"
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[[Image:Ruckersville Attractions.png|thumb|According to [[Chris and the Internet|the Internet]], there is literally nothing worthy of note in Ruckersville.]] | [[Image:Ruckersville Attractions.png|thumb|According to [[Chris and the Internet|the Internet]], there is literally nothing worthy of note in Ruckersville.]] | ||
At first glance, a seemingly humble bathroom stop for travelers on their way to Charlottesville, VA. In reality, a place where [[Barbara Chandler|people]] hoard their trash and decorate their yards with junked cars, where the human disasters we know as the "[[Chandler Family Tree|Chandlers]]" resides. Given its tiny population, Ruckersville has very little in the way of [[14 Branchland Court|recognizable landmarks]] or entertainment. The only noteworthy person born there is NASCAR driver [[Tobacky|Phillip Morris]]. The lack of prospects or opportunities suits Chris, as it gives him one more excuse to never leave his room, let alone get a job. | |||
Chris claims to hate living in Ruckersville, as evidenced by his complaints in various [[Greene County Conspiracy|videos]], but only because he'd rather be in a near-identical suburb where he thinks he could live in a permanent time-capsule of his [[Manchester High School|high school]] days forever. | Chris claims to hate living in Ruckersville, as evidenced by his complaints in various [[Greene County Conspiracy|videos]], but only because he'd rather be in a near-identical suburb where he thinks he could live in a permanent time-capsule of his [[Manchester High School|high school]] days forever. | ||
Revision as of 20:28, 30 December 2014
| “ | Ruckersville is a Very Boring, One-Horse Town. Hardly any young adults hang around here, and there is not much to do. Having a Wal-Mart does not make it any better either. It's like putting lipstick on a skeleton, it does not make it any better or nicer. | ” |
| Ruckersville's most famous citizen[1] | ||
Ruckersville, Virginia is the home of Christian Weston Chandler and the center of all things Sonichu-related. Chris and his family moved from Ruckersville to the Richmond suburbs after their dispute with the faculty of Nathanael Greene Elementary School, only to return in 2000.
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| Location: | Ruckersville, VA |
| Coordinates: | 38°13′59″ N, 78°22′09″ W |
| Classification: | Census-designated place |
| Established: | 1732 |
| Population: | 1,141 (2011) |
| ZIP code: | 22968 |
| Area code: | 434 |
| Website: | Unavailable |
The Brochure
Ruckersville, Virginia is a small census-designated place on the outskirts of Charlottesville, VA. A scenic, tight-knit community that offers panoramic views of mountains, trees and farmland. Although Ruckersville has a small population, it has a vibrant and growing downtown, notable for its antiques market, a new Wal-Mart and great potential for expansion. Founded in 1732, the town has changed very little. The quiet, peaceful village of long ago is still the quiet, peaceful township of today. A safe, friendly, and welcoming community in which to raise a family or quietly retire.
The Truth
At first glance, a seemingly humble bathroom stop for travelers on their way to Charlottesville, VA. In reality, a place where people hoard their trash and decorate their yards with junked cars, where the human disasters we know as the "Chandlers" resides. Given its tiny population, Ruckersville has very little in the way of recognizable landmarks or entertainment. The only noteworthy person born there is NASCAR driver Phillip Morris. The lack of prospects or opportunities suits Chris, as it gives him one more excuse to never leave his room, let alone get a job.
Chris claims to hate living in Ruckersville, as evidenced by his complaints in various videos, but only because he'd rather be in a near-identical suburb where he thinks he could live in a permanent time-capsule of his high school days forever.
Geography
The geography of Ruckersville is plain, composed mainly of fields, light forest, and small housing developments extending from the larger town of Charlottesville. Even the terrain is boring, although the Blue Ridge Mountains are a short drive away.
Ruckersville is far from any real civilization: about 100 miles (160 km) from Washington, D.C., 16 miles (26 km) from Charlottesville and 77 miles (123 km) from Richmond.
Crime
Crime rates in Ruckersville are unsurprisingly low, with zero murders and only two rapes on record. That said, nearby Charlottesville has contributed to this low crime rate, as Chris is more than happy to waltz over there to commit his various misdemeanors.
Culture
Ground Zero
It's interesting to note that, until very recently, a Google Street View of Ruckersville was unavailable. The housing development that contains Chris's home is still unavailable. It's likely that the road is so poorly marked and difficult to access that the Google camera trucks either missed it, ignored it, or simply did not care.
Gallery
Aerial shot of the shithole that is Ruckersville. Chris's home is highlighted with the red mark.
A closeup view of where the magic happens
Ruckersville lies at the intersection of two major highways. WOW!
No relations to Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church.
Little did Peter Rucker know that his settlement would be a haven for a moronic man-child.
