Jail Letter - 21 October 2021
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PROTIP:
This letter was - once again - in response to someone attempting to troll Chris in jail. Don't do this.
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On 21 October 2021, Chris sent a letter from jail, responding to another failed attempt to troll him. He was asked about the allegedly risqué activities he performed with a plushie of an underaged cartoon character he owned. The original sender pretended to be Master Shake and gave Chris a Persian blessing, which was actually a transliteration of "Ian Brandon Anderson". The sender posted his letter and Chris's response to the /co/ board on 4chan.[1]
Original Letter
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To Christine Weston Chandler: I’m just going to be frank, I have been hearing rumors that you are in possession of a plush toy that is in the likeness of Luan Loud. I did some searching and saw in the video where you were asking for people to donate to your Everfree North West GoFundMe that said plush was visible in the background on your bed. In case you don’t know what I’m talking about here’s a picture of Luan.
I first heard these rumors after your arrest back in August, though the doll being in your possession was only part of the discourse. The other part was rumors that you did sexual things to the doll, like I remember one person saying that you cut a hole in it. I’m just writing to ask if you actually did do anything sexual to the doll. I’m not accusing you of anything I just want to dispel any rumors. To show you my good intentions I am giving you an Arabic blessing, you can tear off that part of the letter and hang it on your cell wall. It’s a simple phrase that wishes one good luck and that all will turn out well in your hour of tribulation. Just crease it first. Best regards, Shake Zula PS: My real name will be on the envelope per Viriginia Corrections System rules but I request that you do not refer to me by said name, just as Shake Zula. یان براندون اندرسون [note 1] |
Chris' Response
| October 21, 2021
Hey, <CENSORED>[note 2] To Answer your question, and you may share it online if you wish, The Luan Loud plush, as well as ALL of my plushes throughout my present, immortal life, have never ever been cut open at all, nor have any of them been violated, defaced, or abused sexually at all. There was no discourse. The Luna (sic) Loud plush was, literally, a Gift from another one of my kind followers, because they saw a similarity in the Humor aspect between I and her. I have my Morals, especially... being the full reincarnation of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, and God of all, including you. Regardless, I appreciate your blessing and prayer in Arabic; I have an open mind for all religions and spiritualities, as I am multi-faceted. Thank you, kindly. I offer you a direct Blessing in return, <CENSORED>. Visually, I draw it in my Neo Spirituality/(Updated) Christianity symbol, but its main manifestation is in the form of a small share of my own Aura and Vibrations. Go forth with Peace and Clarity by my Power and Glory as God. Mrs. Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu |
Original scans
Notes
- ↑ The Persian text is an approximation of "Ian Brandon Anderson."
- ↑ The available photos of this letter have the sender's name censored. Note that Chris clearly ignored the request to be called "Shake Zula".
References
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