Curse-ye-ha-me-ha

CURSE-YE-HA-ME-HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Yep.

The Curse-ye-ha-me-ha, also referred to as Shin-ye-ha-me-ha, is the special finishing move of doom used by Christian when battling jerkops, manajerks, trolls, and Mary Lee Walsh. It is a ripoff parody of the famed Kamehameha maneuver used in Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z, and it is performed exactly the same way: by doing silly choreographed poses and slowly yelling the name of a famous Hawaiian king. And yes, Chris has done this in public...

Execution and effect

In keeping with the Kamehameha maneuver he stole it from, the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha must be delivered slowly, with each syllable deliberately pronounced as the user summons his chi, finally ending with the last "ha!" and a blast of power followed by peace for the troll jerkop or manajerk. For optimal results, say it like the new narrator says it.

When desired, the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha can act as a standard energy blast to vaporize enemies. However, in other situations, the attack has no immediately apparent effects. Therein lies the "curse"--the attacker has subtly hexed the victim, guaranteeing that he will soon suffer unbearable misfortune.

While negotiating the production of Sonichu video games with Nintendo, Shigeru Miyamoto informed Chris that "curse" is considered offensive in Japanese culture, and so all references to the spell have been changed to "Shin-ye-ha-me-ha". By August 2009 Chris had become more willing to revert to the original name when sufficiently angry.

A lesser variation of the move, the Curse Shot, is delivered by simply holding out one's hand in the shape of a gun and miming the act of shooting the target. This achieves the same sort of ominous misfortune without requiring several minutes of preparation, which is handy if you're running away from mall security.

Purpose

Aside from creating the impression that Chris has delusions of godhood, the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha allows him to feel some sense of control over his world. Chris is too weak, stupid, and cowardly to directly act against those who give him stress, but his curses require no effort from him except his own faith in their power. As long as it is impossible to prove the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha has no effect, Chris can allow himself to believe the universe will ultimately destroy his enemies, giving him a sense of triumph.

Yes, he actually does this in real life

"So, I got kicked out from the McDonald’s, not the Wal-Mart, for the rest of the day. Now for what happened today, I was starting to setup my things, and the B-Manajerk was getting in my face (I feel that he really hates me), and he was like, “Don’t set up your stuff. Don’t push me.” I was not going to use the Nintendo DS sign today, anyway. But he did not want my Pixelblock sculptors at all. I stood up against that Manajerk; I continued to build, and I dictated my situation into his face (with a song and dance). He went up to the Wal-Mart Manajerk, and he was like, “Hey, Let’s talk.” But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek to any Man other than myself, because they all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has.” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off."

In addition to his performance of the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha at Wal-Mart, key slanderous trolls have revealed that Chris performed the curse live and in person in the office of Mary Lee Walsh, resulting in his suspension from PVCC. A documented performance of this attack has been recorded and it is shown in this video.

Known victims

In the comics, Chris applies the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha to Mary Lee Walsh and one of the Jerkops, and these stories may reflect the two known public instances, or separate incidents, or purely wishful thinking. The curse seems to have had no effect on Walsh, even in fiction--after being seemingly atomized in Sub-Episode 3, she simply returned none the worse for wear.

On 15 January 2009, Chris delivered a Shin-ye-ha-me-ha via YouTube to every troll who has contributed to his ED page and to 4chan.

CChanSonichuCWC, the dreaded brown-striped impostor, was on the receiving end of a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha in a 14 August 2009 video.

However, on 16 August Chris elected to lift the curses he had previously unleashed, and performed the "Forgiveness Blessings" in a video to demonstrate his grace. During this retraction Chris claimed to have used the Curse Shot on over fifty men during his Love Quest.

Due to the production of Audiobook DVDs, Chris has cursed Vivian Gee and anyone involved with the project.